One Year & Over Part 41
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Ftg - Glad you were able to find a way to pick yourself up. I have found that when I take my stress and/or depression seriously, I can find ways to work through it. When I discount it or tell myself that I'm overreacting, it just continues to snowball. So, good job taking good care of yourself. 
Saskia - I think that rational behavior is becoming more of my norm with time and practice. I get heartburn 2 times a year since my 20s. The pain in my jaw and center of my sternum totally spook me. The other day I got it at work, and when I started to escalate in my mind, I just went to the ladies room. It started with "I am escaping to the ladies room, if I fall over will Jill call for help or will she be too freaked out. Who will find me in the ladies room? What if someone calls 911 bc I am at a stage in life with increased risk factors for a heart attack?" Then I tried to root myself in the place where I was, paid attention to the here and now. I think that's mindfulness? Like "right now I am walking to the ladies room. Jill is sitting at her desk. The wall is blue."
I never realized how much my mind raced til recently, and therefore never understood the advice of living in the here and now, or in thinking positively. I thought I was doing that! These little stressors have been a great wake up call in helping me identify areas where I can free myself from more toxic thinking.
It got me thinking about other toxic behaviors that adversely affected me over the years, in particular with friendships that had gone bad. I've come to accept where I had gone wrong in many of these friendships by working on the 12 steps, but all of a sudden a huge cloud lifted and I felt like I could forgive myself -- I didn't know any better. I didn't have any tools to do things the right way. It's very cleansing and freeing.
I am a lucky lady!
After a very busy week I finally have a day to chill! After a couple years of stalling on projects because I'd lost my motivation and energy due to the depressive fog of early recovery, my mojo is back. There's a lot of work to do. Yesterday I painted the last of the bedrooms in the house.
Have a super Sunday everyone!!
Saskia - I think that rational behavior is becoming more of my norm with time and practice. I get heartburn 2 times a year since my 20s. The pain in my jaw and center of my sternum totally spook me. The other day I got it at work, and when I started to escalate in my mind, I just went to the ladies room. It started with "I am escaping to the ladies room, if I fall over will Jill call for help or will she be too freaked out. Who will find me in the ladies room? What if someone calls 911 bc I am at a stage in life with increased risk factors for a heart attack?" Then I tried to root myself in the place where I was, paid attention to the here and now. I think that's mindfulness? Like "right now I am walking to the ladies room. Jill is sitting at her desk. The wall is blue."
I never realized how much my mind raced til recently, and therefore never understood the advice of living in the here and now, or in thinking positively. I thought I was doing that! These little stressors have been a great wake up call in helping me identify areas where I can free myself from more toxic thinking.
It got me thinking about other toxic behaviors that adversely affected me over the years, in particular with friendships that had gone bad. I've come to accept where I had gone wrong in many of these friendships by working on the 12 steps, but all of a sudden a huge cloud lifted and I felt like I could forgive myself -- I didn't know any better. I didn't have any tools to do things the right way. It's very cleansing and freeing.
I am a lucky lady!
After a very busy week I finally have a day to chill! After a couple years of stalling on projects because I'd lost my motivation and energy due to the depressive fog of early recovery, my mojo is back. There's a lot of work to do. Yesterday I painted the last of the bedrooms in the house.
Have a super Sunday everyone!!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Glee, yep - I think I would define mindfulness as getting my brain into a quiet "place" where I simply exist, with no expectations and without worries. I let go of all of those many things that sometimes whirl through my thinking. It helps me sleep better because I use it to let go of my fear of insomnia.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Sassy,
If I see a bright light and a tunnel we're talking creepy.
Andy,
Hey I missed the hearing aid one, that was funny, I don't care who you are. How ya dune?
Dee,
Yeppers, a mistake is not the same as relapsing for sure.
Mags,
That is the whole point. Like flying for real, it takes a lot of practice to look effortless. I think these drones are way fun! You don't have to worry if you pick a good beginners model like this one with four wheels instead of skids. You can go as slow as you like, then get good as a remote pilot. I don't get to see the video until I land it then take out the micro SD card and watch on my computer.
YW FarT G!
Hi Wolf!
Strictly ballroom?
The quad copter is going to take a lot of time to master but it will be a fun way to spend my convalescence.
RZ,
Was she single?
Far,
Great! Did yo chat back? It is never too early to start getting in practice. Besides us guys over 30 either get stone cold looks or silence, when I was younger I got a lot more hand and arm touches and compliments.
Hope the walk went well FBL! Nice pic of you!
Good for you Glee!
I just slept in and then took Maggie out to Pet Smart to meet and socialize with other pets. She really was great, no lunging and no running or hiding behind me. She politely nosed each and with one guy whined loudly as if asking him to play. She was a perfect hell and a gentle lady. She is so well behaved that I forget she is there. She does not pull on the leash or require to be pulled by me. Everyone loves her and thinks she is beautiful. I love taking her out because she likes to show off her training too. We did PetSmart a big box pet store here in the US. Then we shopped Home Depot and Lowes, both big box building and garden/yard supply stores.
She is bushed and sleeping at my feet. IT's only ~8PM here and I am getting sleepy too. Nite y'all!
If I see a bright light and a tunnel we're talking creepy.
Andy,
Hey I missed the hearing aid one, that was funny, I don't care who you are. How ya dune?
Dee,
Yeppers, a mistake is not the same as relapsing for sure.
Mags,
That is the whole point. Like flying for real, it takes a lot of practice to look effortless. I think these drones are way fun! You don't have to worry if you pick a good beginners model like this one with four wheels instead of skids. You can go as slow as you like, then get good as a remote pilot. I don't get to see the video until I land it then take out the micro SD card and watch on my computer.
YW FarT G!
Hi Wolf!
Strictly ballroom?
The quad copter is going to take a lot of time to master but it will be a fun way to spend my convalescence.
RZ,
Was she single?
Far,
Great! Did yo chat back? It is never too early to start getting in practice. Besides us guys over 30 either get stone cold looks or silence, when I was younger I got a lot more hand and arm touches and compliments.
Hope the walk went well FBL! Nice pic of you!
Good for you Glee!
I just slept in and then took Maggie out to Pet Smart to meet and socialize with other pets. She really was great, no lunging and no running or hiding behind me. She politely nosed each and with one guy whined loudly as if asking him to play. She was a perfect hell and a gentle lady. She is so well behaved that I forget she is there. She does not pull on the leash or require to be pulled by me. Everyone loves her and thinks she is beautiful. I love taking her out because she likes to show off her training too. We did PetSmart a big box pet store here in the US. Then we shopped Home Depot and Lowes, both big box building and garden/yard supply stores.
She is bushed and sleeping at my feet. IT's only ~8PM here and I am getting sleepy too. Nite y'all!
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,708
Morning overs, it's Monday and 5.22 am .
I am so nervous I couldn't sleep. I want to say it's with excitement but it's not! It's dread! My main worry is sharing an office. Since these meds, The allergies have got worse and my nose is constantly blocked or running like a train! Sorry for that! It is extremely tiring. The consultant is going to give me monthly injections if the nose drops don't work, but that's in a couple of months! The manager in the new office, said last time I went ' you still got hay fever' ! I'm fed up with being like it too!, though I didn't say anything. My breathing has been joked to sounding like Darth Vader! Help!
Rant over! Please, if you can send any vibes or hugs to help me through the day, I'd appreciate it very much.
Right, I'll speak later, thanks for listening.
Have a good Monday overs.
I am so nervous I couldn't sleep. I want to say it's with excitement but it's not! It's dread! My main worry is sharing an office. Since these meds, The allergies have got worse and my nose is constantly blocked or running like a train! Sorry for that! It is extremely tiring. The consultant is going to give me monthly injections if the nose drops don't work, but that's in a couple of months! The manager in the new office, said last time I went ' you still got hay fever' ! I'm fed up with being like it too!, though I didn't say anything. My breathing has been joked to sounding like Darth Vader! Help!
Rant over! Please, if you can send any vibes or hugs to help me through the day, I'd appreciate it very much.
Right, I'll speak later, thanks for listening.
Have a good Monday overs.
Mags xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,174
You will probably just be opening your computer as I type Mags, but cool vibes are winging your way. You will rock this sweetie no doubt in my mind.
(((Suze))) sorry for all you have been through, there is nowhere to hide - if you take avoidance out of the equation - once we sober up, so the trials of life are felt so much more. Like hot water on a babies sensitive skin, we haven't been tempered through life's journey the same as those who have faced everything head on. That said, even a seasoned Job, would struggle with your recent trials, so it is a credit to you that a) you haven't allowed it to become an excuse to relapse, b) you have realised the benefit of reaching out to friends and sharing the load and c) you are using this experience to learn about yourself and to grow.
you would never have begun to realise your strengths if you had turned to the bottle at the first hurdle, you would never have known the true depth of friendship if you had shut people out, and you would have continued acting out the same pattern of behaviour if you hadn't allowed your eyes to look inward.
All of this took an inner core of steel, one which you have overlooked in the past. You ought to be truly proud of yourself.
Itchy - I want one! In my twenties I was a street sweeper and had to drive a machine that trundled down the sidewalk brushing the dirt into its hopper. I had to drive with one hand and controls the individual brushesHeight, angle, and direction with the other hand while avoiding lampposts, pedestrians, bus stops, stray dogs.... Needless to say it was fun!
Zip, at my sons BBQ Saturday I was drinking fizzy water, hubby was on gin and tonic. Looked identical in the glass. Because I was so leery of picking up the wrong one, I sniffed before I drank! Normally he drinks beer, so it's not a concern.
FG good to hear that the news on the dog may not be as dire as anticipated. Here's hoping for a few more healthy years!
Sass we obviously get a lot of older patients coming in with blurred vision who need cataract referral, they always come back so happy to be able to see again! The ladies though complain that now they can see all their wrinkles and how much dust has accumulated in their house!
Andy, my MIL has a hearing aid and is always turning it down then complaining that the blooming thing doesn't work properly. When we suggest turning it up, she says all the chatter gives her a headache. Can't win.
FTG, we all get days where we feel emotionally overwhelmed, be it something huge or little niggles. Usually sleeping on it does the trick.
Glee you are learning to let go, give it up to your HP. Hubby and I had a few situations when we were in Spain, like viewings we had planned for weeks but because of inept agents ( or sudden offers) we were unable to see. Instead of getting upset or disappointed we just looked at each other, shrugged and said 'it is what it is' we have done that a lot lately. We are learning that if it's something we can't change, we deal as best we can and let go the frustration and disappointment.
I also have a strong belief in Karma, I truly believe ( and see examples of it more the longer I live) that things happen - or don't - for a reason. It may not become apparent for a long time why, but I have learned to let go what I can't change and trust that I will one day understand why.
As to being flirted with? Oh I love it, I regularly chat up the 80+ men in the practice, I love seeing the twinkle in their eye, and when a guy my age flirts a little? Makes my day!
Mind if it's a younger lad I have to be careful, don't want to come across;
https://youtu.be/C2hgAsi8Ae4 !!
A quiet start to the week for me yay, but plenty to do.
Have a munificent Monday everyone!
(((Suze))) sorry for all you have been through, there is nowhere to hide - if you take avoidance out of the equation - once we sober up, so the trials of life are felt so much more. Like hot water on a babies sensitive skin, we haven't been tempered through life's journey the same as those who have faced everything head on. That said, even a seasoned Job, would struggle with your recent trials, so it is a credit to you that a) you haven't allowed it to become an excuse to relapse, b) you have realised the benefit of reaching out to friends and sharing the load and c) you are using this experience to learn about yourself and to grow.
you would never have begun to realise your strengths if you had turned to the bottle at the first hurdle, you would never have known the true depth of friendship if you had shut people out, and you would have continued acting out the same pattern of behaviour if you hadn't allowed your eyes to look inward.
All of this took an inner core of steel, one which you have overlooked in the past. You ought to be truly proud of yourself.
Itchy - I want one! In my twenties I was a street sweeper and had to drive a machine that trundled down the sidewalk brushing the dirt into its hopper. I had to drive with one hand and controls the individual brushesHeight, angle, and direction with the other hand while avoiding lampposts, pedestrians, bus stops, stray dogs.... Needless to say it was fun!
Zip, at my sons BBQ Saturday I was drinking fizzy water, hubby was on gin and tonic. Looked identical in the glass. Because I was so leery of picking up the wrong one, I sniffed before I drank! Normally he drinks beer, so it's not a concern.
FG good to hear that the news on the dog may not be as dire as anticipated. Here's hoping for a few more healthy years!
Sass we obviously get a lot of older patients coming in with blurred vision who need cataract referral, they always come back so happy to be able to see again! The ladies though complain that now they can see all their wrinkles and how much dust has accumulated in their house!
Andy, my MIL has a hearing aid and is always turning it down then complaining that the blooming thing doesn't work properly. When we suggest turning it up, she says all the chatter gives her a headache. Can't win.
FTG, we all get days where we feel emotionally overwhelmed, be it something huge or little niggles. Usually sleeping on it does the trick.
Glee you are learning to let go, give it up to your HP. Hubby and I had a few situations when we were in Spain, like viewings we had planned for weeks but because of inept agents ( or sudden offers) we were unable to see. Instead of getting upset or disappointed we just looked at each other, shrugged and said 'it is what it is' we have done that a lot lately. We are learning that if it's something we can't change, we deal as best we can and let go the frustration and disappointment.
I also have a strong belief in Karma, I truly believe ( and see examples of it more the longer I live) that things happen - or don't - for a reason. It may not become apparent for a long time why, but I have learned to let go what I can't change and trust that I will one day understand why.
As to being flirted with? Oh I love it, I regularly chat up the 80+ men in the practice, I love seeing the twinkle in their eye, and when a guy my age flirts a little? Makes my day!
Mind if it's a younger lad I have to be careful, don't want to come across;
https://youtu.be/C2hgAsi8Ae4 !!
A quiet start to the week for me yay, but plenty to do.
Have a munificent Monday everyone!
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,851
Mags, sending you hugs.
Looks like some hotter weather the next few days. Tomorrow I have to drive 120 miles north to the boss's lake home. His wife can no longer drive, so I have to load up his SUV and drive it back home for him. Oh well, it's a nice little change of pace for a Tuesday.
Have a Magnificent Monday, overs!
Looks like some hotter weather the next few days. Tomorrow I have to drive 120 miles north to the boss's lake home. His wife can no longer drive, so I have to load up his SUV and drive it back home for him. Oh well, it's a nice little change of pace for a Tuesday.
Have a Magnificent Monday, overs!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
Well, the wayward is checking in. Saturday was another evening where I got deep into depression and got some more booze. I had a few before I threw it all out again. I thought how silly, wasting money like that. Alcohol has gotten even more expensive since 2013! 
I happened to see a friend of mine online as I was browsing the social media sites and we started to chat and then he called me. Tim is not an alcoholic, but has battled depression and mild bi polar all his life. Smart, funny, kind and a good listener I got a lot off my chest so to speak.
He called again last night and we got to help each other. His son has just left for his first semester of college and that has caused great anxiety for him. So we were good for each other. I have not drank since Sat evening and do not plan to again. God I hope not...
Another wise friend in another recovery fellowship had this great message. If you are on a 1,000 mile journey by car and have a flat at the 800 mile mark do you give up and return home, maybe to start all over or not attempt the journey again? No, you fix the flat, and go on with things. Maybe the journey has to be modified a bit or you take longer, but the important thing is that you fix the problem and go on.
I had a flat, a couple of them, actually. I bent the rim a bit. But it can be fixed and is in the process of getting repaired. My journey is taking longer, but that happens to many. The main thing is that I will resume. The 3 plus years of sobriety are not wasted or ruined, they are just a part of a longer ride.
You all have been a great strength for me. Even though I was not posting I was reading and lurking here and around SR. I realized what I was losing by succumbing to the urge to self-medicate with alcohol.
So there it is. Thanks Overs for being so supportive. I guess 9/4/16 will be the start date of Part II of this trip.
Overs.
I happened to see a friend of mine online as I was browsing the social media sites and we started to chat and then he called me. Tim is not an alcoholic, but has battled depression and mild bi polar all his life. Smart, funny, kind and a good listener I got a lot off my chest so to speak.
He called again last night and we got to help each other. His son has just left for his first semester of college and that has caused great anxiety for him. So we were good for each other. I have not drank since Sat evening and do not plan to again. God I hope not...
Another wise friend in another recovery fellowship had this great message. If you are on a 1,000 mile journey by car and have a flat at the 800 mile mark do you give up and return home, maybe to start all over or not attempt the journey again? No, you fix the flat, and go on with things. Maybe the journey has to be modified a bit or you take longer, but the important thing is that you fix the problem and go on.
I had a flat, a couple of them, actually. I bent the rim a bit. But it can be fixed and is in the process of getting repaired. My journey is taking longer, but that happens to many. The main thing is that I will resume. The 3 plus years of sobriety are not wasted or ruined, they are just a part of a longer ride.
You all have been a great strength for me. Even though I was not posting I was reading and lurking here and around SR. I realized what I was losing by succumbing to the urge to self-medicate with alcohol.
So there it is. Thanks Overs for being so supportive. I guess 9/4/16 will be the start date of Part II of this trip.
Overs.
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,851
Aw, Drake. I really feel for you. We're only human. I like the analogy about the long trip. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward. Some lessons are hard, but in the long run they can be so valuable.
As far as I'm concerned, you are always welcome here.
As far as I'm concerned, you are always welcome here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Drake - I'm glad to have you back. As a newly sober person I couldn't relate to folks who woke up feeling super. I was discussing with a friend the folly of being surprised to wake up feeling hungover every day for my first year of sobriety after all the drinking I'd done. Your honesty and willingness to discuss your depression helped me feel less isolated, especially in those early days.
Wishing you continued healing, my friend!
Wishing you continued healing, my friend!
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Thinking of you Mags, post later and let us all know how it went (just fine or better, I'll bet).
Wow lots going on for folk, hope you're all dealing well today.
Itchy, yes I chatted back, I'm pretty friendly anyway, but this is different of course. Ended up telling him about my phone HAHA, really am out of practice!! He looked a little uncomfy when I described how and where it had gone, (back of my jeans and down the loo!) but carried on chatting anyway. So yes practice needed and no pressure, good place to be.
I'm back to being more than ok and grateful today. Very grateful to be part of this group.
xx
Wow lots going on for folk, hope you're all dealing well today.
Itchy, yes I chatted back, I'm pretty friendly anyway, but this is different of course. Ended up telling him about my phone HAHA, really am out of practice!! He looked a little uncomfy when I described how and where it had gone, (back of my jeans and down the loo!) but carried on chatting anyway. So yes practice needed and no pressure, good place to be.
I'm back to being more than ok and grateful today. Very grateful to be part of this group.
xx
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