FarToGo

Ah that's a nice post!

Evening everybody.
InPar, I've ordered "When Things Fall Apart" so many thanks for the recommendation, reviews look right up my street.
Mindfullness group tomorrow morning, I need it, anxiety levels about the slightest little thing are high this week.
Have a good weekend people.
xx

Soberwolf

Thanks Fartogo

gleefan

Mindfulness sounds good right about now! I applied for a job in my department at work. It would be a very logical progression from my current role. In fact the last person who had my role was promoted into the role I'm applying for. She crashed and burned - she couldn't pass the required licensing exam. Well, I've already passed that exam, but I have to go through the gauntlet of interviewing and being evaluated against internal and external candidates.

I have mentioned how the previous person was given the job, and been met with nothing that I was hoping for, like "then we'll give it to you!"

I am worst case scenario-izing how angry I'll be when someone else is chosen, thinking about how I'll want to spread malicious tales, and wish I could tell off the department managers.

And I figure I already don't have it because I've said that the other person didn't have to interview. That's how my toxic mind works!

I've recognized the pattern over the past couple years of sobriety that when I get nervous about the unknown, I lash out in anger. I've also recognized that taking quiet time and reorganizing my thinking so it's rational halts the toxic behavior. It's like hitting a reset button.

I realized that I was feeling angry, so I forced myself to think it through.

-- I have not wrecked my chances of getting the job by stating that someone else was given it. I was making a truthful statement. I never demanded they give it to me.

-- The hiring managers may have other peers of mine in mind for the job. THEY make the decision based on THEIR strategic vision. Not me.

-- I can prepare to put my best foot forward in the interview. I can plan my narrative. I can plan the right outfit.

-- Failing to get the job, won't define me as a failure. My actions however can determine my reputation so I need to keep it cool if I don't get it. This is especially true if a less experienced peer gets the role over me.

This logical thinking and kind self talk is new to me. In my active addiction I'd also be drinking away the weekend over being uncomfortable about my comments about how the previous person didn't have to apply.

In my active addiction I'd prepare by talking about how mad Id be when they gave it to someone else, rather than plan for the interview. I think it'll be some time this month.

Im grateful to be in recovery and have all these tools for peace, serenity and freedom at my disposal.

venuscat

Glee love ~ your logical thinking and self-talk are excellent tools. I know exactly what you mean about being grateful for the ability to work these things through in a calm and productive way.

I hope you factor in there that you're doing so so well, and I hope you get the job. ♥

Soberwolf

Morning Overs

Itchy

Thanks Dee!

Toots, amen to the value of the years we are given with our fur kids, on balance from some grief in missing them. We have had a cavalcade of dogs and one cat when we were first married. Our pups won the lottery getting us for parents. They get tucked in at night in their memory foam beds, all were, and she is very well trained.

I am not so concerned with what others think as I am with any negativity they bring into my life, or worse, the codies (drama kings and queens) I have friends in my life when I choose, and my few real friends have no need to be near all the time, welcome anytime. Folks who insist on forcing their beliefs on me or others as the only "right" ones are anathema to me. And they rarely have the self awareness that, if it is acceptable behavior, others also then have the freedom to force their beliefs on them. Beliefs are fine, variety with tolerance makes them the spice of life.

FG,
Having just lost Skylar a few months ago after 11 good years, despite his 100% failed thyroid at five, I am sorry and empathize with you and your daughter's loss. Maggie is getting on in years too, she is 9 and healthy. She has been a bit spoiled of late, needless to say. I don't play with her enough.

Star,
Congrats on 500 days!

Hi Wolf!

Suze,

RZ,
Bionic itch? Nah, the fixes are more mundane, just screws and cages. I'll know after the diagnostics down there the week after next. More the tin man. (If you read Dale Brown, one of my favorites, he was actually a Nav on AF bombers.)

Sassy,
The way it was explained to me is that my insurance covers the basic cataract surgery and I will only be able either to see far and need glasses near, or near and need glasses for far. I have an astigmatism that needs correction and the insurance prefers to have me pay for glasses. For the surgery to not need glasses and have near perfect vision in most cases, no glasses needed costs between $1500 to $3000 per eye over and above the insurance covered basic surgery correcting the astigmatism too, from our local two leading Laser cataract surgeons. They explained it like that to me the same in both offices.

Congrats Far! 17 Months - Woo Hoo!

Carlos!
Thanks, I am only pending for two more weeks then will be headed your way. Are you in Tampa?

I talked to the Laser Spinal folks and they said the storm went North of them and not so much hit Tampa as elsewhere. I am flying for this trip to pre test and hate flying into Florida because of the wind shear and turbulence I always get flying in there. We may take the RV for the actual surgery next month.

Great you guys lose weight and have the latest diets to go with. Tell LD I said hi.

FBL,
Thanks. Cooling down here finally to mid 80s to mid 90s. Today was balmy cool, lovely weather. Hope your is too.

IP,
Good job on finalizing the inevitable and the sober time. I gotta say that it is not in any doubt I will be sober for the rest of my life. Never was because life drinking is no life for me. Having addicts but no drunks in the family makes that easy. You are right, it is part of who and what we are now.

Bloss!
Hey great to see ya! I am glad you weren't in the fires. And yes, the drought there needs to end. We are flooding here unusually while the west is drought laden.

Love to you too Suze!
I have not found your thread yet so am like the proverbial mushroom.

Dharma,
Good job!

Andy,
Good to see you more often here. 40 months is huge! Grats!!

Wolf,
Get the heel bandages!

Hi Glee!
Thanks.

Mags!
Did you get the phone fixed?

Glee,
Stop overthinking it. Your will.

OK I have done the yard work halfway and the light scattered shower interrupted me so today was so beautiful I took the day off and will finish tomorrow. Goodnight one and all! (good morning Wolf!)

venuscat

I'm sorry Itchy ~ I didn't mean t be cryptic.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...bump-road.html

I have another bone tumor in my hand (finger) and they took quite a while to determine if it was benign or not. The 'or not' was pretty frightening, odds-wise, but that fear is now behind me. I will survive, I just may have to do it with one less finger. In the scheme of things, that's really not a big deal. The issue is travelling ~ doctors warning me of enormous costs if things go kabloom while I am away. I have had a lot of help dealing with it all. If I am allowed to fly home in pain (worst-case scenario), I am going.

Now I need to go back and read your whole post.... ♥

LOVE this:

FarToGo

Morning all,
I need to share this, hope it's ok.
I'm tearful and fragile over a collection of minor and seemingly silly things. I dropped my phone down the loo (expensive and I can't really afford to spend on it anymore due to very different life circumstances), screen cracked and sound gone, I'm really hoping that's all, I guess I'm lucky it turns on and accepts messages.
I got lost on the way to mindfulness class and was too late to join them, not another for two weeks.
My daughter is away abroad for the first time without me, she's having a wonderful time and I'm so glad for her, but I really miss her, is this what empty nest will feel like?
I bought a massive cake and ate the lot (not booze, so that's ok)
Just want to cry and get under the covers and I know these daft things don't rate against real health stuff (Venuscat)
I've also said a few foolish things recently, not hurtful, just made me look daft.
Where's my confidence?
Time to stop moaning, sorry.
Love to all.
xx

Mags1

Morning Overs

Went to get my prescriptions from the chemist and they haven't got half the meds in so left it with them until Monday. I'm sooooo pleased I buy a pre payment prescription card. I pay £104 a year for my prescriptions, whereas if I had had to pay for this lot of meds it would've been £71.40! Another couple of years and I get them free!

Itchy, I didn't get my mobile fixed, they've kept it! I couldn't remember when I got it but checked at home and it was 27 February this year and they tell me it's out of warranty but not chargeable! I can track it also to see where it is and it hasn't even left the store yet to be repaired!

I got really concerned yesterday and had to keep myself calm!

What you wrote this morning Gleefan, I agree wholeheartedly! I tend to fly off in my head, imagining all the scenarios! I need to assess and keep calm.

Hope it's a good day for everyone.x

venuscat

(((FarToGo))) ♥

Oh gosh love....that's a lot.

Itchy will tell you how to save your phone. Turn it off, now. If you have a bag of rice, submerge it, for around 48 hours. It might save it. The other far-more-knowledgeable than me 'tech' people here will give you more advice.

I'm sorry about the class.
Let's find one on YouTube. Bet we can.

And I'm not a mum...unfortunately. I hear how hard this is.....all I can say is that I am still kind of starting a lot of my life at over 50, and it's scary as heck, but it's exciting.

As for the foolish stuff you may have said....we are human....I have trouble forgiving myself as well. But we really can live and learn.

Huge hugs. ♥

venuscat

Good morning Mags love. ♥

venuscat

FarToGo ~ maybe you will like this:

Mindfulness Meditation - Guided 10 Minutes

I like the sound of this guy's voice....I hope it helps love. ♥

FarToGo

So glad you're online Venus, though your making me cry with your kindness.
Maybe this is menopause too, hey ho.
Yes my life has begun again at 50, newly single, ...... but we're sober and that's big I know.
thank you so much
xx

Saskia

FarToGo, I've done mindfulness at times. These days my go to is a CD called "The Eternal Om". When I listen to it sitting in my comfy chair I swear I can feel my brain "smoothing". It's the same thing repeated over and over and the pitch is perfect. I've started my life over several times and though not easy, in retrospect each leg of my journey has added to my life. You will do this - you've got a great attitude. Rough patches happen and that's one of the many reasons I love this thread. We share the good and bad.

Suze, love, you are very brave and resourceful! You remind me of that old saying "When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade". You are an amazing person and are so very kind and caring!

Glee, you are doing an awesome job "reprogramming" your responses to life's challenges. Right now it probably feels like effort but the changes do tend to gradually be incorporated in our lives so that we eventually don't need to work through each of them consciously.

Itchy, my friend, I had never heard of laser cataract surgery! See what comes of living in the back woods! . I was aware of the extra bit needed for astigmatism. My eye surgeon "simply" did that with a few tiny cuts. But then, he was one of the top 250 eye surgeons in the world and worked in the wilds of New England and internationally as a volunteer until he died suddenly (in the prime of his life) a couple of weeks after my second eye surgery. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have had him do my eyes. 20 minutes per eye with no anesthesia or sleepy meds, no eye patch. I watched the whole thing.

Have a lovely day to all!

FBL

Just remember FTG, that "This too shall pass." Stay sober and I'm sure you'll feel better soon. Learning to live with the ups and downs is all part of recovery. Thankfully, my life has way more ups than downs these days. Whenever I start to feel sorry for myself, I just remember exactly how good I've got it compared to many. A friend of mine that works with the poor calls them "first world problems" and he's right.

Suze, sounds like you're feeling better. One day at a time is not just a slogan. Remember, the past is gone and the future is unknown...all we have is today.

Wolfie, hope your Dad made out okay.

Itch, we've got much cooler weather here...but it's supposed to warm up again by early this coming week. My favorite month for weather, October, will soon be here.

Have a Scintillating Saturday, overs!

venuscat

Oh Sass, I have that eye condition, along with another one (it's never simple for us huh), and what you just described almost made me pass out. I could NEVER watch the surgery. Lordy, you are brave woman.

Morning FBL love. ♥

I am feeling better, and thank you again for your love and friendship. ♥♥♥

Rusty Zipper

OYAO Tip Time

if your out on a bar, club, or party,

and have someone get a drink of water for you

make sure to take a sip, and not belt it down before you know there's no booze in it

that happened to me at gig last night!

and no, 13 years is not down the drain & i did not relapse

the reality, i had a taste of booze

next!

FarToGo

Wow RZ!! I hope that drink was given by mistake and was not on purpose?
Really glad you dealt with that one!

Thank you so much Venuscat, Saskia & FBL, for your compassion in the face of my struggles (daft ones in the most part). A good friend from the class I missed came to see me for a hour this morning, found me crying it all out. We had a good chat. She said that this has been coming, I've been "managing" since the break up and keeping busy and the cracks were going to show at some point and all this is ok.
She, alongside all of you, are holding me up and I love you for it.
xx

venuscat

Of course you didn't relapse Rusty love, but I know that would upset me.
Because it wasn't my choice. But it would most definitively be a reminder of something I never wanted to do again.

And I might have a few words to say to whoever brought me the water.

Mags1

Hi Suze X

Been out for lunch, was very nice and when we arrived home I thought I'd left my specs on the table so I rang the garden centre and no one had handed them in, this was after I'd checked the car! Anyhow, I went to the car again, chucking it down, and there was my specs, laid on the drive get soaked in the rain.

Far to go, hope you're feeling a bit better, the link Suze put on looks good for a 10 minute mediatation.x

Start my new job on Monday and feeling apprehensive and worried and all that stuff! Same company just a different part of the works! Will my brain take in new stuff? I hope so!

Sassy, nnooooooo! I just couldn't watch an operation on me or anyone else, for that matter!! Brave girl!x

Take care!