Camery03

Jo-
Girl- you got this! You've done it before, and you can do it again. You know what to expect and good on you for posting here for support. Take it easy today, eat healthy, ( or not...) drink lots of water and rest.
We'll be here for you Jo! We got your back!
XOXO
Camery

joandmelandhan

I'm going to make it today I have to.......very sad mu sponsor has kind of given up on me.....I'm not ready she said.....but I have to at least try don't I?

Camery03

Keep those positive thoughts coming!! Yes, I would agree with you-- of course you have to try. How else are you to succeed in anything if at first you don't try?

joandmelandhan

Crushing fear and anxiety are so powerful today. Managed to take daughter to netball and have a small lunch......it's 3.15pm here so I'm half way through.....such a sad waste of a beautiful sunny day......absolute torture but I have to remember this is the last time I ever need to do this...xxx

Camery03

Fear and anxiety--- I know those feelings all too well. Happens to me almost daily. The only advice I have is to BREATHE! Take a deep breath, and think of something positive. I have meds I can take, but I have found other ways of coping.
You're doing GREAT! Just a few more hours and it will be time for bed.
I'm here for you if you need me!
xoxo-- Camery

joandmelandhan

I'm feeling worse... think I'm exhausted too.... God I want this day to end xxx

Simplicity4114

(((JO)))
Would it help to talk through the specifics.....like the root of the fear/anxiety you're experiencing? Sometimes that helps me....getting to the root of it and then working forward from there....rather than trying to just to make yourself "feel different".
As far as your sponsor goes.....it seems harsh frankly and disappointing. I'm not involved with AA but I've heard of this happening before.
As far as you go.....never ever give up trying. You're not alone in this. We're in this together.

joandmelandhan

I'm afraid I'll never recover and afraid of.....oh I don't know.....death if I'm honest......death from alcoholism.....I know the fear will pass but right now it's awful xxx

Simplicity4114

The good news is it doesn't have to end that way. You get to write your own story. We can't stop the pain from entering our lives.....life is messy. But we do get to choose how we react to it, what we learn from it, and take away from it.
Since going sober I've had to learn how to feel again. It has been a real trust walk. All of what I was numbing away was still there waiting for me to process without alcohol. I had to learn to be still in the midst of the pain, of the fear, and of the sadness. But sobriety also brought true joy back into my life, laughter, and the ability to start "reasoning" again. I am far more emotionally stable as a whole. I feel like more of a complete person; more whole, more empowered, and more of a powerful force in my own life and I know it will only get better and better.....as long as I stay sober. I don't need to guess what my life would look like if I go back to drinking; I will moderate at first, avoid SR due to shame. My drinking will progress back to where it was and I will live from hang over to hang over. I've been there so many times, I have the bumper sticker, got the t-shirt. It's a real **** show, no thanks. The beauty of sobriety is that I have no clue where it will take me. I only know that I will be present enough to experience it, appreciate it, and grow from it.

joandmelandhan

Yes Simplicity it gets you backed hooked so much faster each time.......I pray you stay safe and sober.
I know my pain will ease a little each day and then the real business of living can begin again. I need and want that so much.
Thank you for inspiring me that today's nightmare will be worth it. I just can't go back any more......next time it could finish me off.....xxx

Camery03

Very inspiring words Simplicity! I loved every sentence and I think we can benefit from it.
I wish you the best, Jo. You will make it through this tough time-- you are strong willed and are determined. We are all here for each other.

I think we all struggle from time to time with fear from what alcohol has and does to our bodies. I know I am still suffering from the effects of my heavy drinking and binging-- even after 4 months. I fear the same thing Jo. I struggle with extreme anxiety that eats at me every day. Every day I still think how much easier it would be to just have a few drinks to calm the nerves, but I know I am no moderate drinker. One or a few is going to lead me back to drinking all day, everyday again, and to be honest, that scares the heck out of me. I cant go back there, no way , no how. So, I guess what I am trying to say is hang in there. You know how good it feels to be sober, you've experienced that before--- it's getting through the hard few days that sucks!!!

joandmelandhan

I'm still hanging in Camery.....I've got to......this is none negotiable this time.....xxx

Camery03

Good to hear Jo! You are a strong, determined woman and I have no doubt you will be just fine.
We are all rooting for you and are hear day and night if you need us!

joandmelandhan

Awww thanks. Just to let you know my bf works nights now did I say? So for tonight I'm letting my youngest daughter sleep with me. God knows I don't want to be alone so that's the plan xxx

Camery03

That sounds sweet! Put in a movie, read a book, and snuggle.

joandmelandhan

In bed at last! Got tv on and snuggling with my youngest. Don't expect much sleep but I'm safe and sober. Thank you for the support guys I really needed it

Caramel

Wishing you a restful, peaceful and healing night, jo: things will look brighter in the morning.

Simplicity4114

Goodnight Jo, rest well friend

Camery03

Take it easy, relax and get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day!!!!

joandmelandhan

Guys I'm so grateful thank you xxx