sleepie

Thanks MissP! Tomorrow is the first day of the dreaded week. That's cool about your sister

What is on for today Steely?

Your friend sounds great, nothing better than having someone to laugh with. You two might have the makings of a girl guitar comedy duo?

You can be youtube celebs and make some $$$

That reminds me have you seen these Australian women? They are funny- it's a spoof cooking show:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UZJRR8OHhY

Steely

That's exactly what we do sleepie and The Katering Show reminds me somewhat our friendship.

She is very quick. Her mother used to shoot through right throughout her childhood and it has messed with her and has a drinking drug problem too. At the moment she is doing really well.

I was relieved to view the Bjork impersonator that sorta sewed it up entirely.

My friend and I talk about serious stuff too, as she can attest to the alienation of women rock guitarists as I could when working in a male dominated industry. Sorta like getting cut out of a good wave.

She is really good on aussie lingo too and sometimes I know one that she doesn't and vice versa. It's a bit of a comp we've got going on.

Don't think I walk around talking like an aussie battler with bad tattoos I do know how to talk proppa.

When I get that image of me in my head it makes me laugh and would prefer my Rosi's which I refuse to relinquish, and my Laura Ashley floral frock (op shop brand new tagged) that I wore to a wedding last year.

I don't usually like Laura Ashley a bit too florally for me, but I got away with it. Had this great little original pink 1950's handbag thing which went down a treat. Spun around with this little kid who was dressed up like a fairy.

I think your stuff about never having support sleepie could be said by a lot of people here and that's not to diminish your own experience.

I think many people here lacked support and in so many ways contributed to being here in the first place. I know you can have parents around you but still feel unsupported.

Look forward to hearing back about your assessment. Want mine? sleepie's fine.

Good to hear from you MissP and hope everyone is doing well

sleepie

I will have to go look up Laura Ashley. Would love to see the purse too.

Thanks for the assessment

Now I am off to look up "Rossi's"...

Steely

I don't like Laura Ashley at all but this time it worked with a short hot pink bolero. Ya had to be there. The Oreton coin purse was present.

I've got a couple of black skirts I can wear to funerals.

Rossi's are motorcycle boots and I can't let go of them.

I like your avatar. Reminds me of Bunnikins.

sleepie

Well I am almost ready to leave and see this neuro Dr.

I have been treated pretty insensitively in the past about this thing.

I am trying not to have the idea of addressing a learning disorder bring me down but you know what, I think anyone would be down, actually. I mean... nice life. It feels like I never really had a shot in life, with abusive family and tic disorder, more childhood alienation and failed adulthood... to go through life with an unrecognized disability just really puts the icing on the cake for me.

MissPerfumado

Hey everyone.

I went to see my doctor today about my blood results. We talked about my high cholesterol and decided that I'll tweak some aspects of my diet and see if it makes a difference. She was pretty clear that statins shouldn't be necessary unless my levels keep increasing. It's even possible (she thinks) that the alcohol was keeping my cholesterol levels low and that they are actually naturally high anyway. Isn't it amazing how far-reaching the impacts of alcoholic drinking can be on one's health?

Hope your doctor's appointment is a good one today too sleepie - although mine was pretty minor, I appreciate.

The dragon boat team had a "land training" session tonight - which essentially meant a group fitness session. We have them every week in addition to the water training but I'd been avoiding them as I don't like exercising in groups. Anyway, I decided to go tonight just to be a "team player". After tonight, I discovered I'm better off staying away. I become ultra, ultra competitive in a group setting and to me it's always more fun when other people are the same way. But that wasn't the appropriate vibe for tonight.

Reflecting on it as I walked home from the park, I realised that my competitive nature is actually what's driving me to stay sober. Is it a bad thing? I don't think so. I'm not competing against other people, I'm competing against myself. An expression has kept popping up in my head the last few weeks, which is: becoming a better version of myself.

I don't know if that makes sense. I'm pretty tired at the moment and should go to bed soon. I hope everyone is well.

MissPerfumado

Keep your head up, sleepie. Remember the plan you had. You're doing something positive notwithstanding all the negative stuff that's happened in the past. See it through. Don't let your past define you.

Steely

Good luck sleepie and...

You will be fine . Gotta change negative self belief into something more realistic. MissP is right in that we should not allow our past to dictate our future. That would be crap.

Writing stuff down is a good idea. Make sure you ask all the questions you need answering and talk about your fears. The neuro doc would have heard same many times. Don't look back.

Good you don't have to take statins MissP I don't like them much either. If it can be controlled with food and exercise much better.

I don't have a very competitive nature. I don't like losing, I but I don't really care unless of course they are d/heads. Haha.

I did a bit of single sculling under The Spit Bridge when. I was younger which was great, and wished I had have kept it up.

I was never a careerist either I've had some good jobs that I could have done things with but my heart lay in poetry. ha ha again. and of course there was alcohol.

Good to hear from you MissP and good to be sober. It's not so much the not drinking, it's the being sober. Now that is a comp to be had.

Let us know you get on sleepie and wear your combat boots, maybe? And just 'cause you mean business.

Best to everyone.

sleepie

I am overwhelmed you guys. I have testing scheduled next in a few weeks to get all the details...

I was kind of confused because this Dr. was so great, and I am actually kinda proud of myself for figuring this out. I am sad but happy and also angry.

I was right-nvld. And he thinks adhd too. I never even brought that up, funny that he is the 2nd Dr. to bring it up to me just from talking with me.

Glad you got good test results MissP! So, everything else is ok yeah?

Thanks you guys, for all your encouragement. I have really been through it.

sleepie

I have to thank you again Steely, you gave me the motivation to look into this with more effort again.

Thank you so much Steely

this is a huge step for me.

Blacky

Ok I am caught up I guess, been trying to finish this job and the home owner is like Columbo " just one more thing "

Put a drill into my hand Monday .. 10 stitches .. I almost just used my usual duct tape but it looked like I should get some anti-biotics and .. oh yeah a Doctor ..

Finished my job and got paid today .. but not before .. " just one more thing "
.. was a nail hole I missed ..

Painted my driveway white so I can see what might leak out my truck and where next .. mainly because the rear gear housing looked like it had a drip on it ..
I found the fill plug and opened that and .. gear oil came out so .. that's good I guess.

Went to the thrift store and got 4 pair of jeans and 2 shirts and a pair of nice black size 13 Reebok's .. and a coffee mug .. $30 ..

.. and looked at the next house I might work on .. built in 1927 .. and looking it.
Actually has fabric or canvas nailed over a rotten part of some trim holding it together, has a front porch column that is not really holding anything up .. which is strange being on the corner .. I am about to find out if this owner is a slum lord or what here when I talk $ ..

MissPerfumado

Duct tape instead of stitches ... yes, that would be Blacky I was laughing at the thought of the column holding up nothing. That sounds like a project all right!

sleepie ... you're making progress! I can understand the tumble of emotions, but I imagine it's also a relief to be getting closer to something. Your doctor sounds like a decent one this time - which is great. Stay the course. Thank you for asking about me - apart from my cholesterol I have a sluggish thyroid, nothing major and again possibly from long term heavy drinking. But in general, pretty good. Those liver enzymes are back in normal territory.

Steely, our bonza sheila in Laura Ashley and Rossi's. Keep up with the poetry.

All good here. Take care, all.

sleepie

Blacky, oh my, I hope you are ok!

Thanks MissP, I guess I am on the way here.

Glad your enzymes are back t o normal

Steely

Sleepie you did it! Yay! Bunnikins rocks.

Glad that your doctor was a good/talented person but don't understand what ND means in the diagnosis?

You have every reason to feel proud. Told you you should have been a diagnostician.

Having the testing done in a few weeks is great sleepie you will have something to work with and will put you in the drivers seat.

I am so proud of you sleepie and I know that always sounds a bit patronising, but it's not, I'm deadly proud of you, I know how hard it was for you.

I am so tired today had a really hard day with my brother and mother and had to hoof the Highway to Hell carrying a s/load of crap. I was really tempted to drink.

Crazy how we can rationalise the irrational.

I'll close now sleepie 'cause I'm tired and work to do here but fair dinkum you are the girl and so very happy you took the reins.

Did you wear your combat boots or ballet slippers? Luv ya sleepie.

Steely

Awww Miss P the Laura Ashley coupled with the Rossi's are really a good look. Maybe?

I really didn't wear the Rossi's to the wedding but compared to the shoes I did wear might have been the better option. Eek, felt like a dork. They were baby pink just like Laura. Cry me a river.

Glad too that your test results are coming back OK and no real worries. That's always a relief given the pounding we've given our bodies.

I was really tempted to drink yesterday but so happy TODAY that I didn't act on the compulsion.

The pub appeared as a magnet and everyone looked so relaxed, sanely sipping their ales little knowing that I was about to crash tackle them and head for the hills shouting eureka.

Oh woman this stuff is so crazy but I know the outcome EVERY TIME so I just gotta stick with the crazy. I'll settle for that.

We are all hanging in and I thank you all because I can guarantee that without this space to return to I'd be drinking. I forget really easily.

Good to hear from you MissP and hope you are travelling well.

Steely

I think you got the better deal at the op shop blacky.

Me, a great retro patterned yellow/black blouse, a pair of shorts and
2 perfectly shaped coffee mugs. $7.50 all up. Got sick of that chipped elephant one I bought at Taronga Zoo about ten years ago.

Hope you didn't think I was underestimating the severity of your injury by mucking around, it was really quite bad when I had a closer look, and 10 stitches is a big wound. Hope it heals well.

Working on a 1920's house would be great and I'd get the patent on the weightless column. Sounds like a really difficult job.

If the landlord is a slum lord screw him/her for every zac they've got. S/he won't want to pay you properly and make tenants pay in blood. Grrrr.

Glad gear oil was found to be in the gear oil place. And that's the good oil from me.

Hope you are travelling well.

MissPerfumado

Yep, Steely, I can identify with the when-you-least-expect-it ambush from the AV. You're tired, stressed, hot, been at something all day, and then bam - there's a pub, or someone drinking something cool and alcoholic, or whatever, and you're not prepared for the sudden thought that a drink would be really nice. It's one thing to know you'll be walking into a party or a social event where there will be lots of booze and you can gird your loins against it, but quite another to be sprung by the AV without warning. The main defence is the "plan" I guess, but sobriety also gives you weapons you can call upon because you've been practising them without realising it. You worked the play the tape forward manoeuvre beautifully. Well done. My turn to say I'm proud of you without trying to sound patronising!

Onya, Steely.

Hope everyone else is well. It's Friday night and I'm relaxing in front of the telly. I've become less strict about loafing on the sofa in front of the TV. For a while I was anxious about doing that too much because I've spent so many hours here just drinking, but I feel I've created another space in the same place, if that makes sense! Sitting here, feet up, comfy slippers on, sipping a luxe cup of herbal tea (vanilla rooibos), telly in the background, checking me out some SR ... very relaxing.

sleepie ... all the best. I'm aware you're got more heavy duty doctor's appointments after that stressful one where you did so well, so hope it's all going OK.

Blackie, take care of that hand.

sleepie

Steely I am so glad you didn't drink! You have helped me so much here, you motivated me and now I have a chance for the 1st time, it feels like the first time in my life, I feel like a valid human being.

Thank you do much SR friends.

sleepie

Makes sense about the sofa lounging MP, I didn't like to even see people drink on tv for awhile in the beginning... the sight of alcohol was disturbing!

Steely

Good morning,

That's exactly what did happen MissP.

Surprised and unnerved me and was glad to get to the safety of home. Thanks for your encouragement it just attacked me out of the blue. I understand how easy it would be to succumb it is an almost unconscious response.

Was tired and stressed as you say and know these were contributors, so am going try and pace myself better.

There are ways to do this thing I have yet to find but am looking forward to the discovery. So long as I don't drink at least I'll be at the starting line.

Hope you enjoyed your day MissP it sounded really appealing. I find it difficult to relax in the real sense of the word.

Exercise has got a good rep and I do like physical activity so will try to add to plan. Thanks for rap on playing the tape forward. Tell ya I had to really splice that tape together and yay I'm still sober.

It's good that you can relax in your flat now, I love that. Being in the world. Sigh.

I have plans for the day which is good. Saturday here.

Hope you are travelling well.