Steely

Thanks sleepie it was disturbing, but to drink would have have made it more disturbing. Without here, I'd be screwed.

We are all doing really well given the circumstances .......

And the circumstances are good if we give them a chance.

Dee74

I'm glad you didn't drink too steely.

I hope everyone has a good weekend

D

sleepie

Have a good sober weekend guys.

My week of appointments is done, what a relief- last one was today. Results next week.

I have been to the Dr so many times I lost count this year... If you see news of a woman gone mad in the midwest of the US, I was probably told I need to see another Dr.

And the funny thing is most of these appointments had nothing to do with drinking!

Steely

Thanks Dee.

MissPerfumado

sleepie, that's one of the best things you've said and one of the best things I've read here. You are a valid human being! You always have been and you always will be. This journey you've been on and shared with us has been amazing. So glad you took Steely's words to heart and that they helped you.

sleepie

Thanks you MP! Who knew that from 1/2 around the world I would get a nudge to get this thing going? I wasn't doing well, I was sinking with dark thoughts, unable to get out of bed for weeks. Now everything has changed.

How are you all on this Saturday?

Steely

Hands across the water, hands across the sea sleepie.

It was you that kicked it sleepie MissP and I just passed the ball. You've got to keep the ball in play, hey? I am so happy for you.

Fellings of validity and authenticity are the best, I get the drum out of my own experience, feeling like a loser drunk are not new to me, but now insist that I am valid and worthwhile because I am sober, and doing my best.

You have taught me a lot too sleepie because you actually followed through and are bearing the fruits of your labour........and it's a continuing story.

As for me I just looked at surf cam yesterday then slumped back on the lounge feeling depressed and did SFA. I am committed to making this day different.

What you did has a flow on effect for everyone here sleepie. You demonstrated recovery in action. You passed the ball.

Steely

Oh yeah, I did do one thing yesterday. I am going to enter a poetry competition. The poem has to relate to "connections" and am thinking about our raves here as the beginnings of a draft. Might even win $500 - poetry doesn't pay much.

I have you to thank for that MissP. when you encouraged me to continue. I've got about 3 months to write 40 lines. One line a month, shite.

Steely

Naturally all anonymity will be protected simply the idea of connectedness from across the water with people we have never met.

Uncoupled in Oz, megabytes and the flesh .... I'll try to do something with it.

sleepie

That's so cool Steely! I like poetry though it has been some time since I read any. I need to get reacquainted. Thanks so much for saying what you did about "passing the ball". That is a very cool way to think of it. I never thought about recovery in action but you have a pretty good point!

When I was getting off benzos and booze and going through hell I shared in gory detail here, I often thought I was at the verge of death or going to lose it. It's sadly normal for folks getting out of such a mess. I guess I thought if shared it might also help for someone to see that they weren't alone if they were going through the same thing.

I know it helped immensely for me to "let it all hangout" here. My SR friends did get me this far.

I hope my success is your success too

Steely

Thanks sleepie and keep passing.

sleepie

Sniff snifff you guys are going to make me cry.

I don't want to embarrass you Steely so I will shush after this, but- The effect you have had one one person here, just encouraging a very necessary step in my life while you are sober, I can't wait to hear what you do after some more sober time under your belt. You must have an affect on people, and the way you care for your brother. You are gold, Steely, very wonderful.

Though I have noticed this seems common for the aussies here... what do they put in the water over there?

sleepie

What are you guys up to for Sunday?

I am hoping to get out a bit but our weather seems to be having an identity crisis... so maybe if it clears up or at least picks a thing and stays with it.

Steely

Thanks sleepie.

Maybe aussie mateship is still alive and well after all. Cooee!

Been mucking around with my poem this morning and my head is crowded with the beginnings of a draft. Even got so far as getting it down on paper. What have I gotten self into!

Major Tom did it, why not me.

Dee74

I will often put stuff aside and come back to it Steely...seems to work for me that way

D

MissPerfumado

All the best with the poetry comp, Steely. No matter what the outcome, keep writing it.

As was said in that movie about poetry, carpe diem - seize the day - make your lives extraordinary! That's what our new sober lives are about. "Normal" folks looking at us don't realise what's so extraordinary about our lives, but we know. We know we've saved ourselves and in comparison with the lives we led and the lives we could be leading still, our sober lives are extraordinary!

Today, I'll go for a run. I slept in this morning (it was delicious) and skipped an 8km race I had planned to go for. I've been to 2 gym classes and dragon boat training in the last couple of days and I let my body take a break. You see, Steely, I am learning to be reasonable with myself! Then I will call my mum and try not to panic her with my blood test results - she is prone to making herself worry about nothing. Much as I love her it drives me up the wall. Then some time for the football. An ordinary extraordinary Sunday.

Here's peeping at you, folks

Steely

Thanks for saying that Dee.

I find when confronted with a project I can get myself into a spin thinking about how I'm going to fail, or it's not going to be perfect.

Intellectually I know this to be folly but in practice self belief is really difficult. Lots of shame.

Read yesterday that "perfectionists" are prone to procrastination afraid of failing the task.

I have been really procrastinating lately and just added lazy to my list of faults. It made me feel a lot better. The article advised stuff like wearing a t-shirt or blouse with a stain on it, etc. That's good and funny. Gradual exposure I guess.

Have put my work to the side and feel the better for it. Sunday to relax in my jittery sobriety. Better than the drunken jitter that's for sure.

Dee74

D

Steely

Thanks MissP have decided to give it a go and spit the 40 lines out somehow but not going to drive myself nuts.

The fear of failure is big for me and I have to really know that I am not defined by achievement. Realising this is a great source of comfort.

We do know MsP and being a woman doesn't help much either, the idea of the lush carrying so many pejoratives.

I'm glad that you didn't do the 8ks deciding to give your body a rest. That's the recommendation in Sports Medicine and stuff. You rest your body and I'll rest my pen take a breather.

Please don't talk to me about worry wart mother's mine is the same. If my mother doesn't have anything to worry about she'll invent something.

Spoke to her on the phone (she's deaf) and spent 15 minutes listening to what MIGHT have been the results of a test she had done, after the tests returned an EXCELLENT result. It drives me up the wall too.

I thought your blood tests came back OK but I also know mothers and their ability to freak out unnecessarily. I just play everything down when I talk with Mum.

Thanks for your positive thoughts and do enjoy the footie.

Steely

Thought I'd lost my post but I was wrong.