Class of July 2013 Part 30
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Shaun and decided to end our marriage today. I'm feeling very sick. He has moved into the spare room until we decide what we are going to do.
I never saw being alone in my future, I always imagined I would have a long happy marriage like Mum & Dad.
Some things just aren't meant to be I spose .
:-(
I never saw being alone in my future, I always imagined I would have a long happy marriage like Mum & Dad.
Some things just aren't meant to be I spose .
:-(
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I'm sorry Snooz. I can only imagine how upsetting that must be.
It doesn't mean at all you're going to be alone for the rest of your life tho. You may patch things up here, but even if not, you're a warm and loving person who's a lot of fun & a lot of years ahead of you
That kind of black and white thinking makes a drink sound kind of OK - dont go there, Wendy.
You'll get through this - just like you've gotten through everything else
D
It doesn't mean at all you're going to be alone for the rest of your life tho. You may patch things up here, but even if not, you're a warm and loving person who's a lot of fun & a lot of years ahead of you
That kind of black and white thinking makes a drink sound kind of OK - dont go there, Wendy.
You'll get through this - just like you've gotten through everything else
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Thanks Dee xx
I honestly had not even thought of having a drink. Not interested at all. I need to deal with this sober.
I suppose it's been coming for a while. It's not Shauns fault, I spose you can only take do much , living with an alcoholic.
I came undone with that trip to Townsville.
That was the nail in the coffin.
I'm trying to stay sober , I'm still in early recovery so I need to process this and think of what's in front of me.
I'll probably be posting a bit.
I really don't want to go to work tomorrow, but what's the point in basking in self pity , it is what it is, I'm probably better at work. I just don't feel like conversing.
Xx
I honestly had not even thought of having a drink. Not interested at all. I need to deal with this sober.
I suppose it's been coming for a while. It's not Shauns fault, I spose you can only take do much , living with an alcoholic.
I came undone with that trip to Townsville.
That was the nail in the coffin.
I'm trying to stay sober , I'm still in early recovery so I need to process this and think of what's in front of me.
I'll probably be posting a bit.
I really don't want to go to work tomorrow, but what's the point in basking in self pity , it is what it is, I'm probably better at work. I just don't feel like conversing.
Xx
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Oh my friends, hugs to you all.
Ladybug...being transparent is a huge step, sweetie. Keep it up. I wish I'd had the guts to be honest with myself way back when I still had my man who cared for me.
Snooz, so sorry to hear you are going through a split. I know it's been festering for a while, a few issues. Maybe our dear Wendy just needs some good love - from herself.xx This may just be the right time for you to stop and get to know yourself and realise how wonderful you really are. My thoughts are with you.xx
Ladybug...being transparent is a huge step, sweetie. Keep it up. I wish I'd had the guts to be honest with myself way back when I still had my man who cared for me.
Snooz, so sorry to hear you are going through a split. I know it's been festering for a while, a few issues. Maybe our dear Wendy just needs some good love - from herself.xx This may just be the right time for you to stop and get to know yourself and realise how wonderful you really are. My thoughts are with you.xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Snoozy, so sorry my friend. I agree with what Croissant said (she always has the wisest advice 
). Things happen for a reason and maybe this is the best thing for you right now. Going from previous posts, it doesn't sound like you've been very happy either. Things will be ok. Glad you are feeling strong and wanting to deal with this sober. We're all here for you. Much love!!
). Things happen for a reason and maybe this is the best thing for you right now. Going from previous posts, it doesn't sound like you've been very happy either. Things will be ok. Glad you are feeling strong and wanting to deal with this sober. We're all here for you. Much love!!
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Well, when I logged on earlier, I had logged in to post about my Day, but saw what others were going through and put off my post til now while I processed my day.
Had a strange day today. Caught up with an old work friend. Definitely an old drinking buddy for the occasional unplanned night out. I guess like you have when you are younger. But he was part of the broader group, that then evolved into my group of friends and part of my life with my lovely ex. Sorry, I hope I've explained that coherently. Parts of our conversations were around old friends, what they are up to, including my lovely ex.
I don't even know where I'm going with this, or what I have to get out and say (lol, don't you love how by not drinking, we actually have to stop and sort out our thoughts and feelings! :P).
When I first knew this friend I did have a little crush on him, but it evolved into a friendship, we'd have our smoke breaks together, I met my ex, he met his partner etc. etc.
I've felt a bit "off" about it all afternoon. I'm not sure why. I felt sad I'm here alone, for sure. The inevitable am I with anyone question came up, and I found myself brushing it off. But when I drove home after work, I drove home and just felt this awful sense of lonliness, and "aloneness" and I'm bloody over it. I felt like everyone had partners and blah blah blah...and it was all a bit much and I just sat in my car in the dark out the front of my place and cried and cried. (Oh boo, I'm having a bit of a cry now.)
I don't even know why he's still with that partner, are they happy, why do I even care? We were very similar back in the day, maybe I'm thinking, he grew up and I'm still scraping the pieces together after my broken engagement ( that's how it felt, like I never met anyone long term after that, and I'm sure that was not unnoticed by him). I know others opinions are none of my business....and it's not his opinion I worry about, it's just how I felt. He gave me lots of compliments about my career.
Yeah, it's bloody great and I nearly lost it (my career), but it's all the things I'm missing that felt like gaping caverns today.
Meh (block ears bob). I'm probably hormonal. And I'm grateful I'm present to feel and explore how I'm feeling - even though I'm confused! Just an uncomfortable day, I guess. Tomorrow will be better, I hope. ( well, I won't be hungover, so I guess these are my private and silent victories that hold an important measure.)
Don't get me wrong, it was lovely to see him. The big wave of all kinds of feelings were unexpected. I'd expected some, but not to feel turned on my head.
Had a strange day today. Caught up with an old work friend. Definitely an old drinking buddy for the occasional unplanned night out. I guess like you have when you are younger. But he was part of the broader group, that then evolved into my group of friends and part of my life with my lovely ex. Sorry, I hope I've explained that coherently. Parts of our conversations were around old friends, what they are up to, including my lovely ex.
I don't even know where I'm going with this, or what I have to get out and say (lol, don't you love how by not drinking, we actually have to stop and sort out our thoughts and feelings! :P).
When I first knew this friend I did have a little crush on him, but it evolved into a friendship, we'd have our smoke breaks together, I met my ex, he met his partner etc. etc.
I've felt a bit "off" about it all afternoon. I'm not sure why. I felt sad I'm here alone, for sure. The inevitable am I with anyone question came up, and I found myself brushing it off. But when I drove home after work, I drove home and just felt this awful sense of lonliness, and "aloneness" and I'm bloody over it. I felt like everyone had partners and blah blah blah...and it was all a bit much and I just sat in my car in the dark out the front of my place and cried and cried. (Oh boo, I'm having a bit of a cry now.)
I don't even know why he's still with that partner, are they happy, why do I even care? We were very similar back in the day, maybe I'm thinking, he grew up and I'm still scraping the pieces together after my broken engagement ( that's how it felt, like I never met anyone long term after that, and I'm sure that was not unnoticed by him). I know others opinions are none of my business....and it's not his opinion I worry about, it's just how I felt. He gave me lots of compliments about my career.
Yeah, it's bloody great and I nearly lost it (my career), but it's all the things I'm missing that felt like gaping caverns today.
Meh (block ears bob). I'm probably hormonal. And I'm grateful I'm present to feel and explore how I'm feeling - even though I'm confused! Just an uncomfortable day, I guess. Tomorrow will be better, I hope. ( well, I won't be hungover, so I guess these are my private and silent victories that hold an important measure.)
Don't get me wrong, it was lovely to see him. The big wave of all kinds of feelings were unexpected. I'd expected some, but not to feel turned on my head.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Originally Posted by soberwolf 
You explained that perfectly Croiss
Despite these moments, I am truly grateful to be able to "feel" again. Just in the moment of confusion or sadness, I need to realise sometimes there's nothing to "solve" - I just need to be present and "feel" the feelings and that is actually the solution, and it's not "bad".
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
Hi all, just a quick note, I'm heading out the door to Toronto to volunteer at a play, front of house.
Snoozy, I'm so sorry. Are you sure? Have you and Shaun had or considered counselling? Stay strong dear friend.
Croissant, I feel your pain and loneliness. You are a very strong woman. Let yourself feel sad. I think it will pass.
Snoozy, I'm so sorry. Are you sure? Have you and Shaun had or considered counselling? Stay strong dear friend.
Croissant, I feel your pain and loneliness. You are a very strong woman. Let yourself feel sad. I think it will pass.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Originally Posted by Croissant
Well, when I logged on earlier, I had logged in to post about my Day, but saw what others were going through and put off my post til now while I processed my day.
Had a strange day today. Caught up with an old work friend. Definitely an old drinking buddy for the occasional unplanned night out. I guess like you have when you are younger. But he was part of the broader group, that then evolved into my group of friends and part of my life with my lovely ex. Sorry, I hope I've explained that coherently. Parts of our conversations were around old friends, what they are up to, including my lovely ex.
I don't even know where I'm going with this, or what I have to get out and say (lol, don't you love how by not drinking, we actually have to stop and sort out our thoughts and feelings! :P).
When I first knew this friend I did have a little crush on him, but it evolved into a friendship, we'd have our smoke breaks together, I met my ex, he met his partner etc. etc.
I've felt a bit "off" about it all afternoon. I'm not sure why. I felt sad I'm here alone, for sure. The inevitable am I with anyone question came up, and I found myself brushing it off. But when I drove home after work, I drove home and just felt this awful sense of lonliness, and "aloneness" and I'm bloody over it. I felt like everyone had partners and blah blah blah...and it was all a bit much and I just sat in my car in the dark out the front of my place and cried and cried. (Oh boo, I'm having a bit of a cry now.)
I don't even know why he's still with that partner, are they happy, why do I even care? We were very similar back in the day, maybe I'm thinking, he grew up and I'm still scraping the pieces together after my broken engagement ( that's how it felt, like I never met anyone long term after that, and I'm sure that was not unnoticed by him). I know others opinions are none of my business....and it's not his opinion I worry about, it's just how I felt. He gave me lots of compliments about my career.
Yeah, it's bloody great and I nearly lost it (my career), but it's all the things I'm missing that felt like gaping caverns today.
Meh (block ears bob). I'm probably hormonal. And I'm grateful I'm present to feel and explore how I'm feeling - even though I'm confused! Just an uncomfortable day, I guess. Tomorrow will be better, I hope. ( well, I won't be hungover, so I guess these are my private and silent victories that hold an important measure.)
Don't get me wrong, it was lovely to see him. The big wave of all kinds of feelings were unexpected. I'd expected some, but not to feel turned on my head.
Had a strange day today. Caught up with an old work friend. Definitely an old drinking buddy for the occasional unplanned night out. I guess like you have when you are younger. But he was part of the broader group, that then evolved into my group of friends and part of my life with my lovely ex. Sorry, I hope I've explained that coherently. Parts of our conversations were around old friends, what they are up to, including my lovely ex.
I don't even know where I'm going with this, or what I have to get out and say (lol, don't you love how by not drinking, we actually have to stop and sort out our thoughts and feelings! :P).
When I first knew this friend I did have a little crush on him, but it evolved into a friendship, we'd have our smoke breaks together, I met my ex, he met his partner etc. etc.
I've felt a bit "off" about it all afternoon. I'm not sure why. I felt sad I'm here alone, for sure. The inevitable am I with anyone question came up, and I found myself brushing it off. But when I drove home after work, I drove home and just felt this awful sense of lonliness, and "aloneness" and I'm bloody over it. I felt like everyone had partners and blah blah blah...and it was all a bit much and I just sat in my car in the dark out the front of my place and cried and cried. (Oh boo, I'm having a bit of a cry now.)
I don't even know why he's still with that partner, are they happy, why do I even care? We were very similar back in the day, maybe I'm thinking, he grew up and I'm still scraping the pieces together after my broken engagement ( that's how it felt, like I never met anyone long term after that, and I'm sure that was not unnoticed by him). I know others opinions are none of my business....and it's not his opinion I worry about, it's just how I felt. He gave me lots of compliments about my career.
Yeah, it's bloody great and I nearly lost it (my career), but it's all the things I'm missing that felt like gaping caverns today.
Meh (block ears bob). I'm probably hormonal. And I'm grateful I'm present to feel and explore how I'm feeling - even though I'm confused! Just an uncomfortable day, I guess. Tomorrow will be better, I hope. ( well, I won't be hungover, so I guess these are my private and silent victories that hold an important measure.)
Don't get me wrong, it was lovely to see him. The big wave of all kinds of feelings were unexpected. I'd expected some, but not to feel turned on my head.
It saddens me that you felt so bad but the tears were likely therapeutic - a good release.
You've been walking a truly good path, Croiss; there is something very good ahead - of that I am quite certain. Keep your heart and eyes open.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Originally Posted by SnoozyQ
Shaun and decided to end our marriage today. I'm feeling very sick. He has moved into the spare room until we decide what we are going to do.
I never saw being alone in my future, I always imagined I would have a long happy marriage like Mum & Dad.
Some things just aren't meant to be I spose .
:-(
I never saw being alone in my future, I always imagined I would have a long happy marriage like Mum & Dad.
Some things just aren't meant to be I spose .
:-(
I knew that things weren't great and that you had been unhappy. Have you been to or considered counseling?
We are here for you, Snooz.
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