site1Q84

BF- is there anything you really enjoy doing? Maybe that's a good place to start the new job hunt from. Never too late for a fresh start!

BlueFairy

Yeah, I was just trying to figure that out myself. Turns out I'm not realy enjoying much these days and I need to work on that--I think I'm starting to get depressed again. I'm really glad I joined that therapy group. It's actually on offshoot of a depression group I was in as a teenager--coping with depression that was through our university. Unless I can find a job with the kind of insurance I have now I'm pretty well stuck. My husband's only insurance is through me and he's 57, smokes and is overweight.

D122y

Blue...

Now that I have been clean for 5 months I am beginning to catch myself getting negative.

Depressed at times.

I did it when I was drinking, but since I was always drunk...binging..it was not as obvious to me...

I catch myself...ramping up...now getting negative at work and at home...

W my new clear head I seem to be much more aware of my emotions...go figure..

site1Q84

Boy, my AV came out of nowhere today!

I mean, HALT is pretty much my life right now. I have just about every aspect of it, every hour of the day. Until now it hasn't been a challenge though.

Took a shower, now I'm going to get some food and some sleep - finally!
I forgot what a pain that little voice can be. Glad I have the tools these days to work through it though!

And as said in the past, just logging on and mentioning it seems to take away the craving.
Glad to have you guys- I don't ever want to be one of those people who comes back saying 'I know I should have post BUT...' when I know there is no but, I know better than that.

sagittarius714

Hi guys!

I feel like every free moment of my life has been filled with running some kind of errand and something to do. Not today - this morning I actually got to take a nap after the kids went to school, and now I"m relaxing until work. So glad. So tired.

One girl at work really annoys me - I"m trying to move past it and let it go, but its tough. Hopefully all of the busyness has settled down for a bit.

Hope you all are doing well, and keep fighting the good fight!!

Dee74

Happy weekend everyone

D

sagittarius714

Hi all. Wow, our thread is on page 2 now. That's too bad.

Had an exiting weekend, went to Jersey for a family event, had car trouble, and got stuck there til Monday. Good thing I was off work.

I've been thinking alot about work, as this job is not what it used to be, and I'm going back and forth wondering if I should look for something else. The problems with that is there's nothing around here, I hate driving in winter, and we only have one car, and my son, while he's staying here, needs a ride to work. Maybe I should wait until the spring? See, I'm not sure what to do. The best thing about it is that its close.

Anyway, I find myself checking here every day to see if Casey pops up. I hear there's flooding in Texas, not sure if its where he's at.

Well, hope you all have a wonderful day, when and if, you should ever read this.

Take care.

Surrender2win

Good morning May Class! I know this class has dwindled down to just a few, but it seems like those remaining are doing well. I have been keeping myself pretty busy and enjoying the sunny fall days.

I have just over 5 months so far and the AV has been pretty quiet, with just a few exceptions here and there. I have caught myself a few times within the last few days though just thinking that at least one glass of wine would be great... Ugh... When does that go away?

Thankfully I found this site and with the help of everyone here, I've been able to stay sober.

Hope all of you have a great day.

ClosetCinephile

Hey all,

I've returned, still able to say I belong in May's class with 171 days sober. Things got a bit busy there for awhile, hours were changed at work, etc., but I'm happy to be back and hope to participate in many discussions.

I'm currently fighting off a sinus infection with both antibiotics and VerTussin (which includes codeine). The cough medicine makes me nervous, but I've only taken one dose, exactly as prescribed. I don't want to get to that point where I'm not coughing, but still taking it. #Accountability

Chat soon.

CC

JamesfrmEngland

150 days tomorrow, nearly fallen few times wit depressed feelings and boredom but keeping the faith.

This week started aerobic exercise, running, cycling, rowing macine and it has certainly helped so far with the depression I sometimes suffer. Alcoholism was certainly a symbol of deeper issues with me.

KeyofC

Congratulations...good for you James!

site1Q84

Still here and sober! Still busy as ever.

BlueFairy

182 here. I had a dream where I had a glass of wine before a concert about a week ago. I remember being so upset I did and it was because I had momentarily forgot I quit drinking lol. I was really upset that I had to start over counting sobriety days. Strange thing is--I never drank at concerts. I did once at Paul McCartney, snuck a flask in my boot but ended up with so much adrenaline didn't even feel it until after.

site1Q84

I haven't had a drinking dream in a while, but I've definitely had a few before and they're very real! I remember being SO disappointed when I woke up!

AGAGONNHOJ

Just got to the end of another 90 day stint since slipping up at the end of July, haven't even noticed the time going by to be honest - having already done 90 days before end of July, the change had already been made it seems. As with before, was feeling tired a lot, if not all the time, and feeling irritable, bad-tempered etc through the 60-90 day period, but noticed thats becoming gradually less of a problem.

And been incredibly busy with teaching English over here in Thailand - and after every day at work, I go to the next village to train Muay Thai, which always tires me out so much that I go straight to sleep.

Dee74

Been way for a bit - I'll catch up on backstories eventually - here's to another sober month

D

AGAGONNHOJ

Just finished another week at work, was considering going straight to Chiang Rai for the weekend, but decided to go tomorrow instead for two reasons:

1) Muay Thai training, which I've been doing every day for all this week, has taken shitloads out of me.
and
2) Watching a local Muay Thai match yesterday, I saw one of my students who's getting in the ring herself tonight and kind of made me promise to watch her.

Taking it one day at a time, but even now depression, anxiety and suchlike have been really bad, plus I've been irritable, aggressive at times even.

To be expected that I've started to get thoughts that it'd be the easiest thing in the world to just have a drink, that having a beer would help me relax etc. But that's literally not an option for me. Not that I'm not going to, it's that I can't, it's not an option, and I can't do it, no matter how bad it gets.

And there have been some times when I just want to start crying, but the tears don't come. Though most days it seems I just get on with my ****, I'm like a computer. To some degree, its like I just turn my emotions off. Notwithstanding the times when things get to me and I get irritable, panicky, even aggressive, like the other day when I had a lesson to do where I'd planned a load of activities involving the internet - only for the internet to not be accessible and I had a mini-meltdown, from which my colleague saved me.

But yeah, it'll pass.

Rufftime719

Hey everyone. It's been a few months since my last post. The good news is there is a reason for that. At about 4 months all the sleeplessness, anxiety, inability to concentrate, and misery cleared up in what seemed to be almost overnight. I am functional again! I want to thank everyone in May 2015 that helped me through the roughest time in my life thus far. There really is an end to the madness. Next week will be my 6 month mark and still going strong! Keep up the great work everyone!

sagittarius714

Hi - good to see you guys posting! Its been a long work week for me, and I can't wait to have a day off. I just keep thinking that at least I'll have a few extra bucks next week!

I can't believe the weather here, in the 70's. I've been waiting all summer for it to get cooler, and not its warm again. Oh well, today there's a nice breeze coming in the window that i am thoroughly enjoying, before its time to head off to work again.

Sorry my life is pretty boring, but I hope you all have a great day and weekend

KeyofC

Boring is good...I'll take it!