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Class of July 2013 Part 21

Old 09-12-2015, 05:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Croissant View Post
Love your posts above, Bob. So true.

I'm feeling a bit pissed off about a couple of things today. Finding that balance sometimes around feeling the annoyance about something, then letting it go and moving on. Tricky balance....and there's a fine line between dealing with anger in a healthy way or just sweeping things under the carpet.

That's my little challenge these past few days.
I often get annoyed at work. I know that I am more qualified to do some of the harder jobs. But, they seem to treat me as though I'm a rookie. I have been doing the job longer than most have been alive.lol

I think the best thing is to let it roll off your back, Crois.
Deal with it, don't sweep it under. And then put it behind you.
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Old 09-12-2015, 06:27 PM
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Hope your all having a good night! I went to a sports bar for dinner. Again i dislike eating alone. No temptation really. I noticed alot of people at the bar drinking water or soda. They were all watching football. Not everyone was pounding beers or even drinking. My thoughts are not all people go to a bar to drink. Some just like the commradery of watching the big game. I enjoyed it sober.


Made it to an AA meeting after dinner. It was a great meeting. I got some new perspectives. Take care
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Old 09-12-2015, 07:33 PM
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Originally Posted by resolute50 View Post
It's a lovely Saturday morning here.
The heat has finally broke and we're enjoying a sunny temperate day.
I hope to take Leah for a walk soon and do some work around the house.
Nothing too stressful, just tidy some things up a bit.

Wendy, what is going on with your sobriety reminds me of the time I quit in 2007. I had found out that I was suffering from high blood pressure and pre-diabetes. Now that I look back it seems it was a fear based response to stop. I didn't want to get full blown diabetes or have a stroke from the HBP.

So, I quit for 14 months. Worked hard. lost weight and exercised daily.
Why did I start drinking again?
I got a "good job, you're completely healthy again".

Within a month I was trying to "moderate".
Back to full blown drinking and passing out again.
It wasn't until 2013 that I finally stopped for good.

Problem is, now I have full blown diabetes.
Seems to have gotten worse over this past year.
Scary part is, I'm not obese or terribly overweight.
Somewhere along the line I have damaged something that didn't return to normal. I need to pick myself quite often to check my glucose levels.
Watch what I eat and exercise when I can.

It's frustrating to know that I could have stopped this years ago.
I don't want to see you do something to your body that is irreversible, Wendy.
It poisons our minds and our bodies.

We both want to be around when our kids get married, and to help them with their issues in life.
Bob , you have no idea how much your words connect with me. You are so super smart and logical. You bring such a peace to your posts that we just sit back and say ' wow ' why didn't I think of that , it's so bloody obvious.

Do you think somehow , that when they tell us everything is all good again Bob that it almost gives a green light to have a drink as we dodged a bullet.


I'm sure there was a little ounce of that in my alcoholic thought process. Why is it that we then go out and sabotage what should just have been let be .

I feel as though I'm playing Russian Roulette with my life. It worked once so maybe I'll be lucky again. Now how is ithat for ridiculous thinking.

I feel different today, I still feel very strong and although it's only day two I feel stronger than ever. I loveed my life sober and it's time to get off this merry-go-round, its bloody exhausting. Excruciatingly so!

I'm like Crois , I don't like the counting thing. I think it put s too much pressure on us. Well it does for me & Crois anyhow .

We are all different I suppose. Today is a beautiful sunny day I can't really take advantage of it asI've had my medication and feel very groggy. I just feel safer inside for a little while.

you guys have been my lifeline, thank you.

I know for a fact I would have drunk again had I not come here and had some sense smacked into me LOL.

Holly has just been driven back so that saves me a four hour trip she knows I'm groggy but still wants to come and sit in bed with me.

How lucky am i'll get up and have a shower and we can take the pups for a walk even if it's just around the block. I've got to maintain some form of normalcy with her.

I'm going to get a journal like the one Crois told me to get with Ryleigh. It's really helped. So now I'm going to write about my time in rehab & my thoughts . I'll do penning instead of picking up.

I love writing . Xxx
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Old 09-12-2015, 08:11 PM
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Old 09-12-2015, 10:33 PM
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Oh Snooz, I cannot tell you how much I'm glad I started journalling last year. Over time you have something - in your own words, that shows you how you got through a tough time and the ups and downs of life. I still keep one now, but don't write super-regularly. Just random things about life, or little random things I remember that the kids did when they were little. It's not so much recovery-focused anymore, although it is in that it's a written version of how I've coped with life sober.

Bob and Snooz, yep...agree - my relapse earlier this year was complete and utter sabotage. I'd lost a bit of weight, was starting to feel good, and get compliments on how well I was looking. Sounds like I can surely have a drink here and there, hey!? Just one or two. And I did. Next minute, I was up til 1 or 2am drinking and going to work hungover daily. Which to me, was completely back to square one, July 2013.

Then I started my new contract, and showed up horrifically hungover and had to get some greasy fat BBQ sausage in a bun at 10am to ease that horrid feeling. Charming. The shame I felt that day, and knowing I could kid myself, but I go right back to being the alcoholic I am every time I drink, let me know I had to choose life without alcohol or life as a zombie, not even being me and never finding out who I really could become.

Now, on to some good news, I've lost nearly all my drinking weight!!! I had to buy new work clothes today and I kept doing double-takes in the mirror cos I can't believe I'm back in my normal size clothes. I spent an oodle of money, but I honestly haven't bought any clothes for so long, I had to keep telling myself it was ok!
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Old 09-13-2015, 12:35 AM
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Of course it's ok hunnybunny , it's all that money you've saved by not drinking . So it's pretty evened itself out and some.

I'm so proud of you Crois , you e worked so hard to get this far and I know it's been tough at times. Very tough. But I bet you look AMAZEBALLS girlfriend ️xxx

Love ewe
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Old 09-13-2015, 05:44 AM
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Afternoon Julyers
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Old 09-13-2015, 05:47 AM
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Croissant, nice post. Well done on your weight loss! Enjoy choosing some new clothes! Bet you look great!
Hi Snoozy, sounds like you're doing well!
Miserable rainy weekend here. I had a nice visit with a friend and her new boyfriend. We watched "Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom" after supper. Heavy, but a very well done film, in my opinion.
Had a nice, bittersweet dream about Larry. He was snuggling up to me in bed and keeping me warm, it's cold at night here now.
Hi to all.
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Old 09-13-2015, 05:53 AM
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What a beautiful dream Leshar I'm sure it was a visit .

He will always be with you darling one
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Old 09-13-2015, 06:06 AM
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Thanks, Snoozy. I'd like to do better in his memory.
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Old 09-13-2015, 06:10 AM
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Good morning, afternoon, night sweet Julyers.

Thinking of you and sending love.
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Old 09-13-2015, 06:20 AM
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Hello gorgeous Leigh , how are you today honey
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Old 09-13-2015, 09:16 AM
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Hey gang,

Thanks for the kind words, Wendy.
Isn't it crazy how good news can also lead to us drinking, Crois?

In a bit I'll be taking a ride out near Boston. I don't like going near the big scary city but I have to meet somebody there.
It's a misty cool day here. Probably get back and watch a little football.
My team played Thursday and won so it will be watching other teams.
Just took Leah for a walk and now she's content.

Talk to you all later tonight.
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Old 09-13-2015, 12:30 PM
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Evening Julyers I have my appointment tomorrow with the job team which I'm looking forward to I'm trying my best to not think about it too much so I don't get 'paralysis by analysis'

Going to say goodnight now & have an early night
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Old 09-13-2015, 01:53 PM
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It was nice to read you had a visit from Larry in your dreams, Leshar.


Restful sleep to you Wolfy and good luck tomorrow.
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Old 09-13-2015, 05:54 PM
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Going strong today.

Glad you walked Leah , Bob. I'm about to do the same with my pups.

Shauns just dropped Holly off to work , so I'm up for a shower , walk the pups , off to my docs . Then see what the day brings. Might go out for lunch even.

How s everyone doing today / tonight. I see you are still going strong Casey , further than you've been for a long time. You just keep adding those days , don't you :-)
I'm looking forward to being where you are again.
Xxxxx
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Old 09-13-2015, 07:16 PM
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That's so good to hear, Snoozy.
Have a lovely day and be patient with yourself. The weather is soo beautiful here, hope it is over your way too.
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Old 09-13-2015, 07:55 PM
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Wolfie, I hope your appointment goes well!
Snoozy, so glad to hear you're feeling strong!
Just heard some Bob Dylan lyrics quoted on a tv show. "Life is sad, life is a bust,
All ya can do is do what you must." ( "Buckets of Rain"). Sort of resonated with me a bit, in my melancholy mood. But, yes, I'm going to do what I must, sad or not, and that is to remain sober.
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Old 09-13-2015, 10:01 PM
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Time for a new thread guys

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-22-a.html

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