nymets86

Made it through the week sober, though did get a nasty craving yesterday as I was heading home from work early since the Pope is in town and they sent us home at 4. The Nationals were playing, followed by the Mets, and my dad decided to just get out of town before all the Pope traffic nonsense. Just thought "jeez, you've been so good and if you start drinking at 4, you'll not have trouble waking up for your meeting in New Jersey tomorrow."

I got off the subway and just put my head down and walked past all the darn liquor stores. When I got home, I put on my gym clothes (had already worked out in the AM) and just went to the gym for about an hour and walked slowly on the treadmill while watching the Nationals lose on my iPad. Didn't feel the need for a workout, but needed to be out of the apt.

Then got home, watched the Mets, ordered sushi and just relaxed. Woke up this morning feeling very good and as always, thrilled I didn't cave in the craving. I'm at Penn Station now about 40 minutes early for my train. With the Pope here, I was reading there could be long lines for tickets, so since I was up early with no hangover, I just left early and am hanging out in Penn Station (which is really crappy, but again, a million times better than rushing here with a massive hangover, which I've done countless times).

Well, weekend will begin soon. Don't have any plans, though been invited to a happy hour. It's with one friend that doesn't really drink at all and some others that aren't big drinkers. I'll play it by ear, but if I'm not having cravings, I'll go and have some club soda and enjoy socializing.

Have a nice weekend everyone!

ReadyOrNot123

Mets, good for you! You are fighting hard! I hate those cravings that spring out of nowhere, you can plan for the obvious traps, but not as well for the ambush. Happy hour sounds nice, and it's good to get out with people (I remind myself of that often, as by nature I am more solitary).

On this rollercoaster, I'm on the upside. I had awful headaches earlier this week but they have subsided and at the very least, are a good reminder of hangovers and the desire to avoid them. When I'm drinking, it's not just the hangover, it's the general sense of "who cares" that affects everything I do. I actually like having some enthusiasm!

Anyway, all for now, it's a lovely Fall Friday, and it's time to get some things accomplished before some nuisance meetings.

TGIF!

ReadyOrNot123

I'm sure I'm not alone but I really wish weekends were more than two days long. It's Saturday night and I'm already starting to mope that Monday morning is coming fast. I realize it's dumb, the weekend isn't even half over. Saturdays are my favorite day of the week, and today has been enjoyable. My Sox may be in last place in the division, but they have turned into a really fun team to watch, probably because of the youth movement out of the minor leagues - and they're winning now. We did some Christmas shopping (just a couple of things, easier to budget this way) and had a nice lunch. So overall, no complaints, other than some allergies that have hit. Things are good.

ReadyOrNot123

Good morning - working from home today, and it's gloomy outside but it's warm enough so I am happy. I'm just dreading the winter. But it's not here yet, so we'll enjoy this day today (how's that for one day at a time?!).

I told my boss yesterday that I'll take the new role he wants me to take. It's now more important than ever that my anxiety meds work well, so I went ahead with the upped dosage - I feared that I would be tired again like when I first went on it, but so far so good. In a few weeks I should know if it's the right level - definitely the lower level was helping but as my doctor said, it must be squashed completely or it will just get worse. I wish I had done something like this 10 years ago, but what can you do.

Back to the current day, it will be busy, but my husband is out so no distractions. On to it -- hope everyone is doing well.

Dee74

Hope you had a productive day ReadyOrNot

D

nymets86

Ready, I for one, can't wait for the winter. The weather this week has been brutally humid. And with my summer activities on the weekends over, it just is annoying being here on weekends when it's gross out.

I hope everything works out with the job. Obviously not drinking makes things a lot easier and at least for me, a lot less anxiety inducing. Stuff obviously stresses me out, but better than worry about what I did while blacked out.

All is OK on my end. I'm still feeling myself a bit in the doldrums, but with the Mets first trip to the playoffs in 9 years starting soon, I'm looking forward to that.

Dee74

Hope the doldrums end soon Mets

D

ReadyOrNot123

I wonder if the doldrums is tied to the change in seasons, I kind of have them too. I like fall, but the end of summer is sad (not the humidity, I agree with that). At any rate, and it's possibly because it's absolutely pouring rain today, I have them today as well. Baseball postseason will be fun for you Mets, hopefully they go all the way!

Work is going ok, things are fairly calm (knock wood). I have to get back on my diet and soon. I was so disciplined for so long and now I have none - and that has to change. Definitely better than drinking, but not healthy either.

I'm glad it's Wednesday, halfway through the work week. Thanks for the encouragement Dee, it's much appreciated (and where do you find the time???)!

nymets86

Yeah, Dee, the fact that you check on every thread is amazing.

Ready, I suspect it does have something to do with the seasons, especially the shorter days combined with being back in school (the nights I have class I get out after 9PM). When I'm getting up early and going to the gym, it's now pretty dim.

I've avoided all after class happy hours as those were always pretty bad for me since I'd feel like death at work the next day.

My brother's upcoming wedding, which should be a joyous event, I think is also adding to it. I just hate weddings and it makes me think more about my lack of relationship success.

In a stupid sense, this year the Mets success (and Duke basketball, my other favorite team) hasn't helped either, since I'm perfectly content to a night at home watching sports, rather than trying to build a new sober social life. Even when they are bad, I'll follow every game, but I will make a point to go out and be social

My goal during this down period is to simply not drink or break my diet. Both those would compound the problem.

Hopefully the Sox can keep beating the Yankees, lol. My coworkers are starting to get nervous about the Yankees recent swoon.

nymets86

Well, the Yankees clinched the Wild Card by beating the Red Sox, and the Mets are screwing up their home field advantage. Given we have to face Greinke and Kershaw in games 1 & 2, I don't really care where the games are played, but I don't want us to limp into the playoffs. Our odds of winning are low, but not all that bad since I love our starters this year.

Anyway, today was another down day. I'm really struggling to figure out why my depression is getting so bad despite work and school going pretty well. The whole sports thing is fun, but not enough to lift the depression.

I'm heading out of town for the weekend with a buddy of mine, and one that I've drank with a lot. I've forewarned him that I'm not drinking since I'm on a diet for my brother's wedding, and he seemed totally fine with that.

The temperature is way down, so I'm happy with that, but the hurricane bearing down could be a problem. While totally sober and not worried about a hangover, I'm actually pretty much unfazed by it. I think my flight will get out of New York tomorrow, but the Duke/Boston College football game I'm going to will be a downpour. If the storm is in full force, I've set up a rental car to drive from North Carolina to New York (my friend lives in Boston and will have to deal with getting back there).

I'm hoping the travel, visit to my favorite team's turf (though I really only care about basketball and not football), and just in general breaking my routine will break up this depression. If it doesn't, then I'll just wait until next Friday when the Mets' first playoff run in 9 years starts and I'll enjoy watching. Even if it's temporary relief, it'll be relief.

Have a good night everyone!

ReadyOrNot123

Hi Mets, sounds like you have a fun weekend planned! This morning I heard that the hurricane is moving more eastward, so lots of rain but hopefully that's it. On the other hand, it's probably still enough to disrupt travel, but that still sounds like it's worth the trip. I remember years ago I had an incapacitating headache for which I had to be hospitalized. They never did find a reason for it, but their strategy was to make it go away, and maybe it was a one time event. They were right, I never had another one. Long winded way of saying the weekend may indeed roust you out of the blues. Hope so anyway, and I agree that home field advantage is huge, and so is momentum. Go Mets (you and the team.)

I am happy it's Friday, although it's chilly and raw, so less happy with that. My day is not busy, and I'm working from home, so I suspect I will be slacking a bit when I should be getting some pesky projects done. We'll see, the day is young.

Have a blast Mets. I'm glad you're not a Yankees fan, lol.

Dee74

Have a good weekend guys

D

nymets86

Despite the weather, it's been a fun weekend. The rain hasn't been all that bad and for me, it's not hot, so that's great.

Mets aren't getting home field advantage, but our young pitchers are all pitching well, so that's good. I'm much happier getting no hit after we clinched the division than just three weeks ago when the most important game of the year we hit three homers off Scherzer.

Duke football won a sloppy game in the mud and wind and that was fun.

As I've found to be the case, it's just a bit easier to not drink when I'm away from home. So yeah, this weekend has been helpful. My depression is still there, but not quite as overwhelming. In a weird way, my flight being delayed by 5 hours on Friday was good. It threw off any routine I had and also got me to the hotel at 1-40AM, which was after my friend had gotten back from the bar. Just being in a situation where things went wrong and I was totally sober and hangover free was a good reminder of why I'm doing this.

College football games don't serve booze, so yesterday was pretty easy in that respects. Now I'm flying home. I'm planning to just work out like a maniac this week and hope that the depression lifts. I'm not going to give into it.

Next weekend might be a challenge as I'm sure I'll be tempted to go to a bar to watch the Mets playoff games, but I have a week to figure that out.

Have a nice Sunday everyone.

ReadyOrNot123

Glad to hear you had a good time at the game Mets. Today wasn't half bad, weather-wise, and it was even sunny for a time. A far cry from the hurricane conditions they were talking about earlier this week. It's chilly though, and of course it's October and therefore inevitable.

Nothing much of note to report for today, same old, same old which is good I guess. The transition from summer to fall is just tough for some reason. I'm not having any alcohol cravings or anything like that, but I do feel a bit at loose ends. I tried to putter in my craft room but wasn't feeling it - so I'm watching the last Red Sox game of the year and then may just go to bed early.

ReadyOrNot123

Things are good, and the weather is supposed to get warmer this afternoon. I'm steadfastly avoiding turning on the heat but if it wasn't going to be in the 70s today that heat would be on! So I'm working at home, got some things I need to do but nothing crazy. The rest of the week will be very busy with meetings etc., aka the bane of corporate America, but so it goes.

Mets, I hope your week is going well and the doldrums are history. I'll be watching the wild card playoffs (until I fall asleep). I was so surprised to hear about CC - it must be really bad for him to miss the playoffs.

nymets86

Ready, I still can't kick this depression, but I've been working out like a maniac to try to get rid of it.

Most important thing is I'm not drinking at all.

I'm home now watching the Yankees/Astros game and was a bit down about it when I left work because I just felt dysfunctional that I couldn't "head to the bar" to watch the game.

And then it did really hit me hard all the ridicule that Sabathia got. I don't like the Yankees at all, but can obviously identify with the alcoholism. It just seems to further stigmatize the disease every time a public figure comes clean. Patrick Kennedy seemed to get no attention when he talked about addiction on 60 minutes.

And then Matt Harvey showed up late to a noon workout today and blamed traffic. Seems to me like he was out drinking, and that's why he was late. I've been late to work many times cuz of my drinking, so seemed obvious to me. Anyway, I hope he grows out of it, or gets help.

This disease really does stink. I've now been sober 231 of the last 233 days and it's still a daily grind. I'm currently on day 85, which is a record since I was a teenager, so it's meaningful. My brother's wedding is fast approaching, and my anxiety is going through the roof, but I'll worry about that tomorrow.

ReadyOrNot123

Hi Mets - sorry you are still down, but obviously, pleased that you're sober. It's a battle, that's for sure - sometimes easy sometimes very hard. Rewarding, but hard. I bet you're right about Harvey. My dad once told me (probably everyone else knows it but for me it was a revelation - one of the positive qualities about me is that I take people and explanations at face value. It's bitten me in the ass more than a few times, but that's for another day) that when they say a player is out for "flu-like symptoms" that more often than not it is a hangover. Lateness, absenteeism, all symptoms of the greater ill, and we've all had them. It's probably the only thing in the world that I'll have in common with CC Sabathia and Matt Harvey. But I digress.

One day at a time indeed. Hope you feel better.

nymets86

Yeah, news is now leaking that he was out drinking and that's why he was late to practice. I guess as an alcoholic, this was just so obvious that I didn't even need to wait and see the news. I guess for normal people, this is news.

Anyway, feeling OK right now. Spent last night cleaning around my apartment. It's switching from AC season to the part of ear where I leave my windows open a crack, which leads to all kinds of gross NYC dust. The fact that I was able to do chores is a good sign. Not sure that the depression is lifting, but between working out and chores, does feel like I'm getting back to a routine and not just feeling bad about myself.

Have a nice Thursdsy everyone (guess it's almost Friday in Australia)

ReadyOrNot123

Glad to hear you're feeling better, Mets. Sometimes routine things are good for us.

Are you watching this Royals/Astros game? Amazing how hard it's raining! And tomorrow starts the Mets march. Should be a good series. Oh, now they are in a rain delay - my word it is pouring. Looks miserable.

I'm doing fine today, just got home from work, and had some dinner. I'm tired but the week hasn't been too bad. No complaints.

nymets86

Yes, I watched every inning of both games today and took PTO tomorrow so I can do the same. The rain did look kind of bad, but the minimum salary is just over $500,000, so I've long since felt bad for any player that has to deal with adverse conditions.

I'm tentatively planning to be at a bar with friends for the Mets at 9:45. I'm very confident in the club soda routine and one of the guys I met back in March and knows me as a non-drinker. I made it through my favorite team (Duke) winning the championship 100% sober, so I know I can handle a Mets' playoff run, but I'd so much rather have people over at my place to watch tomorrow. I know that at my place, I can control the situation.