Class of March 2013 Part 40
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Marcher, your weather sounds pretty bad to me! Here in my little corner of paradise we have had heavy rains and lightning. Not as bad as what you've had but worse than I'm used to. I guess that's part of living right on the coast :-)
This Sunday I will be living here for 3 months! As far as the dinner time drinking - perhaps I'm imagining it but it seems like fewer people are drinking wine with dinner. When I came, everyone at the table would have wine. The last several times, at least a few people declined. Last night, I was with 5 other people and only 2 had wine! I've heard at least some comments along the lines of "I really shouldn't drink with the meds I'm on". It's almost like some were having wine because they thought it was expected and now feel like it's ok to say no. That could be my imagination .... or coincidence but in any case it is a welcome change for me :-)
This Sunday I will be living here for 3 months! As far as the dinner time drinking - perhaps I'm imagining it but it seems like fewer people are drinking wine with dinner. When I came, everyone at the table would have wine. The last several times, at least a few people declined. Last night, I was with 5 other people and only 2 had wine! I've heard at least some comments along the lines of "I really shouldn't drink with the meds I'm on". It's almost like some were having wine because they thought it was expected and now feel like it's ok to say no. That could be my imagination .... or coincidence but in any case it is a welcome change for me :-)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,527
I don't think it's a coincidence Sass. I think you're right. A lot of people follow suit. It's just the way it is. And now more of the people around you feel they have permission to decline without feeling like a square peg... 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,420
I watched a special that has twice now aired on my local PBS station about Baby Boomers and substance abuse issues and treatment options. I found it very interesting... as we all thought here, a lot of us BB's have company in that there are a number of us suffering with addiction issues. It showed an appallingly low number of treatment options devoted solely to the older generation. We are thrown in with the younger addicts and alcoholics. The good news is that there are good outcomes shown in that the older generation is likely to complete treatment.
I like the documentary in that one of the counselors being interviewed talked about how important it is for treatment providers to validate the fact that BB are bringing wisdom and experience from living so long with them when they enter treatment. Another interesting subject brought to light was that some GP's (general practitioners or family docs) don't ask about it because they don't want to know. I was kind of multi-tasking around that part of the documentary, so could have gotten this wrong, but instead of some GP's screening for it periodically some would rather not know. And with all the meds prescribed for this age group, I would think screening for substances, especially alcohol, would be done.
Sorry if this is a bit scattered I am babysitting, and S is all over the place!
I like the documentary in that one of the counselors being interviewed talked about how important it is for treatment providers to validate the fact that BB are bringing wisdom and experience from living so long with them when they enter treatment. Another interesting subject brought to light was that some GP's (general practitioners or family docs) don't ask about it because they don't want to know. I was kind of multi-tasking around that part of the documentary, so could have gotten this wrong, but instead of some GP's screening for it periodically some would rather not know. And with all the meds prescribed for this age group, I would think screening for substances, especially alcohol, would be done.
Sorry if this is a bit scattered I am babysitting, and S is all over the place!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,420
Chuff: I apologize if I startled you by asking if it was time to consider inpatient treatment. It was not meant to hurt your feelings. You are such a sweet and kind member of our Marchers group, I am sure that you would put down that bottle if you could. There is no shame in needing outside help - that is what it is there for.
I think Dee followed up my question beautifully: What are you willing to consider doing to help you put down the bottle and stop drinking??
My heart aches for you to know you don't have contact with your grand daughter.
Please check in and let us know your thoughts. Have you read Sass's post about her experiences with getting treatment? SR, on its own, is simply not enough for some of us, and that is ok. SR is always here as an adjunct to more intense forms of treatment.
Please Chuff, we all need you here... you are one of us!
I think Dee followed up my question beautifully: What are you willing to consider doing to help you put down the bottle and stop drinking??
My heart aches for you to know you don't have contact with your grand daughter.
Please check in and let us know your thoughts. Have you read Sass's post about her experiences with getting treatment? SR, on its own, is simply not enough for some of us, and that is ok. SR is always here as an adjunct to more intense forms of treatment.
Please Chuff, we all need you here... you are one of us!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
1Day, lovely post to Chuff and anyone else reading this thread who is struggling! I like to keep in mind something that one of this group once wrote (if my memory isn't too far gone): there isn't anything that alcohol can't make worse! If we don't want to drink, there are safer ways to escape (I play computer games) but if we drink, we are usually too far gone to have a choice.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,171
Hi Marchers -
Currently the proud possessor of three different teaching contracts so going a bit nuts this month.
Just a pop-in to send big love to all Marchers and VC, WeHav, Shoes, Gilmer, and Mick, an extra-big hug to you for care giving and for life's other challenges.
Currently the proud possessor of three different teaching contracts so going a bit nuts this month.
Just a pop-in to send big love to all Marchers and VC, WeHav, Shoes, Gilmer, and Mick, an extra-big hug to you for care giving and for life's other challenges.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Rogersville, Tennessee
Posts: 2,659
Originally Posted by Saskia 
"I really shouldn't drink with the meds I'm on". It's almost like some were having wine because they thought it was expected and now feel like it's ok to say no. That could be my imagination .... or coincidence but in any case it is a welcome change for me :-)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Good morning Marchers Paradise is very clean this morning and it's getting cleaner! As expected the wilder weather hit in the very early hours of the morning, it eased up a couple of hours ago and has returned. At the moment we can't get into the shop because the locks have seized up on the entrance so Mr Marcher is waiting for a locksmith to arrive -- I guess that would be a pretty busy sort of trade today. If some slightly leaking windowsills and seized locks are all the troubles we have then I'll count myself very lucky. I'll count myself even luckier if Mr Marcher phones and says "don't bother coming in". 
Sass it's interesting what you say about people drinking or not drinking at the dinner table, I've observed the same thing myself. Countless times my chinotto has intrigued people so I simply take extra bottles so people can try it out, here at home when people come over I serve a nice sparkling water spritzer as well as wine and beer. Very often people will choose to have the spritzer when offered both. Are we influencing their choices? Maybe, maybe they were making those choices all along?
It's always amazed me how some people can take two sips of wine and enjoy it then leave the rest of the glass. I remember my wine brain rationalising that I could have more because they hadn't had their share. How's that for screwed up thinking.
Ken that was so spot on when you said: I can remember feeling sick with a hangover and still deciding to drink because others were.
1Day that was interesting about the PBS special. I think the baby boomer generation is driving a lot of research and understanding about many matters purely because there are so many of us in the age cohort. If we have any legacy towards the generations behind us this could be the best thing.
I hope you people on the eastern part of the US are drying out, heck I hope we dry out sometime in the next week!
Have a good day peeps.
Paradise is very clean this morning and it's getting cleaner! As expected the wilder weather hit in the very early hours of the morning, it eased up a couple of hours ago and has returned. At the moment we can't get into the shop because the locks have seized up on the entrance so Mr Marcher is waiting for a locksmith to arrive -- I guess that would be a pretty busy sort of trade today. If some slightly leaking windowsills and seized locks are all the troubles we have then I'll count myself very lucky. I'll count myself even luckier if Mr Marcher phones and says "don't bother coming in". Sass it's interesting what you say about people drinking or not drinking at the dinner table, I've observed the same thing myself. Countless times my chinotto has intrigued people so I simply take extra bottles so people can try it out, here at home when people come over I serve a nice sparkling water spritzer as well as wine and beer. Very often people will choose to have the spritzer when offered both. Are we influencing their choices? Maybe, maybe they were making those choices all along?
It's always amazed me how some people can take two sips of wine and enjoy it then leave the rest of the glass. I remember my wine brain rationalising that I could have more because they hadn't had their share. How's that for screwed up thinking.
Ken that was so spot on when you said:
Even the times I really didn't want to drink, I always felt like I was expected to
1Day that was interesting about the PBS special. I think the baby boomer generation is driving a lot of research and understanding about many matters purely because there are so many of us in the age cohort. If we have any legacy towards the generations behind us this could be the best thing.
I hope you people on the eastern part of the US are drying out, heck I hope we dry out sometime in the next week!
Have a good day peeps.
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
OK, I'll weigh in. For the purpose of this opinion, I think you can divide people up into three groups: non-alcoholics, recovering, and alcoholics.
Alcoholics want you to drink with them.
Recovering just want to not drink.
Non-alcoholics don't care unless their lives are inflicted on by alcoholics.
Now when these circles overlap you get interesting things.
I think the one we're talking about is when non-alcoholics are faced with recovering alcoholics. Better to say recovered. When one of us is around drinking, it's a non-issue. We don't want a drink, we don't care if they drink, and most importantly: we don't preach.
Non-drinking people find out it can be normal to just. not. drink.
From us. Amazing, huh.
Alcoholics want you to drink with them.
Recovering just want to not drink.
Non-alcoholics don't care unless their lives are inflicted on by alcoholics.
Now when these circles overlap you get interesting things.
I think the one we're talking about is when non-alcoholics are faced with recovering alcoholics. Better to say recovered. When one of us is around drinking, it's a non-issue. We don't want a drink, we don't care if they drink, and most importantly: we don't preach.
Non-drinking people find out it can be normal to just. not. drink.
From us. Amazing, huh.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
(((((Mick))))) PLEASE don't give up! I soooo know that feeling of knowing what you've done so far isn't working anymore, and life is just getting worse. I was isolating, I pretty much had no friends left. My partner was over it. I was very close to losing my job. I was a crappy auntie to the kids I love most in this world. I still couldn't stop.
I had to throw **** to the wall until something stuck. Aa, a therapist, outpatient. The therapist was a quack, so I drank. I felt like a misfit in aa, so I drank. Outpatient was helping me, but still I drank. Finally the outpatient specialist told me I needed inpatient! Somehow, that made me work harder. I had to prove her wrong. Then I found sr and a little group called the "Mayans." (May 2012 thread)
Then I relapsed again! God this was getting old. That relapse lasted 3 months, then I kicked myself and went back for a "refresher" at the op program. And I made one big change. I started to tell my truth, all of it, on here. That was the birth of the "wehav ramble," the "stream of consciousness" posting. That **** kept me sober and still does. Well that and the aa steps, those things were magical for me. A total pain on the ass, but magical. Lol
My point, and I do have one, is that you absolutely can get sober. If you are breathing, you can get sober. I fully believe that in my heart of hearts.
It is scary as hell. But the more scary things you do, the easier they get. The easier they get, the better you feel. You'll start to feel good in your own skin. Good stuff starts to happen in your life.
Isnt it worth a little discomfort to feel like a good man again? To feel good in your own skin?
I had to throw **** to the wall until something stuck. Aa, a therapist, outpatient. The therapist was a quack, so I drank. I felt like a misfit in aa, so I drank. Outpatient was helping me, but still I drank. Finally the outpatient specialist told me I needed inpatient! Somehow, that made me work harder. I had to prove her wrong. Then I found sr and a little group called the "Mayans." (May 2012 thread)
Then I relapsed again! God this was getting old. That relapse lasted 3 months, then I kicked myself and went back for a "refresher" at the op program. And I made one big change. I started to tell my truth, all of it, on here. That was the birth of the "wehav ramble," the "stream of consciousness" posting. That **** kept me sober and still does. Well that and the aa steps, those things were magical for me. A total pain on the ass, but magical. Lol
My point, and I do have one, is that you absolutely can get sober. If you are breathing, you can get sober. I fully believe that in my heart of hearts.
It is scary as hell. But the more scary things you do, the easier they get. The easier they get, the better you feel. You'll start to feel good in your own skin. Good stuff starts to happen in your life.
Isnt it worth a little discomfort to feel like a good man again? To feel good in your own skin?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Brookmaven, I hope you know that you are welcome here, too! Not all of us have been sober for two years!
WeHav, this leaky memory of mine .... Of course I remember the 2012 Mayans! That's where I started on SR, it just took me a bit longer.
Good morning, Marchers, have a beautiful day!
WeHav, this leaky memory of mine .... Of course I remember the 2012 Mayans! That's where I started on SR, it just took me a bit longer.
Good morning, Marchers, have a beautiful day!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Happy earth day!!!
And I just realized I'm 26 months sober today! Wow, the promises are true. Life can be hard when we are sober. But even the worst day sober is better Han the best day drunk. Oh wait, I'd long since stopped having any good days drunk...
And I just realized I'm 26 months sober today! Wow, the promises are true. Life can be hard when we are sober. But even the worst day sober is better Han the best day drunk. Oh wait, I'd long since stopped having any good days drunk...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
