Class of March 2015 Part 2
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 354
Originally Posted by EHoll1421 
I have that same problem now. Every day at 438am im wide awake. I'd much rather be up then due to sobriety than up being sick.
True EHoll, it just that it makes me so tired by late afternoon and evening that I feel it weakens my resolve.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 688
Originally Posted by secretary
Thanks for asking Spirit. Hubby and I have always lived independently, so while it is driving more of a wedge in our relationship, we've never had the greatest marriage anyway. I feel like I'm fighting for my life here, so if he chooses not to support, well, that's his loss.
I know I shouldn't cast blame, as it was my choice for falling in love with vodka, but I didn't drink for the first 15 years of our marriage, while he was always a big drinker. I think when the kids moved out I just started drinking along with him, to sort of be on the same plane as he was.
Yadda yadda yadda, sorry for carrying on.
I know I shouldn't cast blame, as it was my choice for falling in love with vodka, but I didn't drink for the first 15 years of our marriage, while he was always a big drinker. I think when the kids moved out I just started drinking along with him, to sort of be on the same plane as he was.
Yadda yadda yadda, sorry for carrying on.
My husband has been a blackout drinker for at least 15 years -- so I went through the get-him-to-stop-drinking phase years ago, before I got stuck in my own problem. I was heartbroken. Over time, I learned that I am powerless over his choices.
Several years ago, we stopped talking in the evenings because he wouldn't remember the conversations the next morning. I felt like I was living with two husbands: the sober one of the morning and the drunk one of the evening. I spent more and more time upstairs, him drinking downstairs in front of the TV. We started to live a VERY divided life.
So much so that he doesn't know that I'm now dealing with my own alcohol problem. He has no idea that I was getting drunk in the morning, to deal with daily anxiety, after he would leave for work. (Well, maybe he does, surely my breath reeked of wine on weekend mornings.) He knew I drank before doing public presentations -- he has seen me slurring drunk in public -- but he has no idea the extent of my problem. SR is the only support I have.
Sorry for the long post. I could go on and on and on.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 688
Originally Posted by ArcticSA
How do we plan on getting through that though? I don't want to be on a different level than my husband ever. Are you hoping he quits soon? Or do you plan on dealing with it?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 539
Originally Posted by SpiritOfDjinn
To Arctic, Nik, and secretary: I have a question. How do you deal with your SO's continuing to drink while you are trying to recover? Doesn't that just exponentially increase the difficulty for you? I myself am very lucky in that my wife rarely drinks at all so unless I buy booze, there's none in the house.
Also, and this may be a bit personal so feel free not to answer but, doesn't seeing them like that hurt your heart? Does it drive a wedge into your relationships? I'm just concerned that perhaps they can't really provide you much support when they themselves are still achieving obliteration...
Please forgive me if I've crossed a boundary. I meant no harm.
Also, and this may be a bit personal so feel free not to answer but, doesn't seeing them like that hurt your heart? Does it drive a wedge into your relationships? I'm just concerned that perhaps they can't really provide you much support when they themselves are still achieving obliteration...
Please forgive me if I've crossed a boundary. I meant no harm.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 539
Originally Posted by needtostopthis
I cant believe I am typing this. I FAILED. Day 1 again. I feel stupid for even posting here. Everyone is doing so well and I just cant seem to shake this. I feel so ill today. I was so dumb I went to a bar last night. This is getting out of control. I haven't done the bar thing in a long time, so I know I HAVE TO STOP.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 539
2 weeks today.
Very happy with that. I am still in the stage where alcohol sounds awful because of my raw stomach and I can not imagine pouring 7 bottles of beer down my throat, it feels like poisoning myself, well it is. Not looking forward to the near future when I will lost that memory and it will all look shiny and fun and happy and exciting to drink. -_-
Very happy with that. I am still in the stage where alcohol sounds awful because of my raw stomach and I can not imagine pouring 7 bottles of beer down my throat, it feels like poisoning myself, well it is. Not looking forward to the near future when I will lost that memory and it will all look shiny and fun and happy and exciting to drink. -_-
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 354
Originally Posted by ArcticSA
2 weeks today.
Very happy with that. I am still in the stage where alcohol sounds awful because of my raw stomach and I can not imagine pouring 7 bottles of beer down my throat, it feels like poisoning myself, well it is. Not looking forward to the near future when I will lost that memory and it will all look shiny and fun and happy and exciting to drink. -_-
Very happy with that. I am still in the stage where alcohol sounds awful because of my raw stomach and I can not imagine pouring 7 bottles of beer down my throat, it feels like poisoning myself, well it is. Not looking forward to the near future when I will lost that memory and it will all look shiny and fun and happy and exciting to drink. -_-
Congrats ArcticSA - great job on 2 weeks. I feel that way with vodka, it must have been doing quite a number on my throat and stomach. Hopefully no long term damage (fingers crossed).
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 354
Originally Posted by NikTes
Ah, hard questions from Arctic and Djinn.
Several years ago, we stopped talking in the evenings because he wouldn't remember the conversations the next morning. I felt like I was living with two husbands: the sober one of the morning and the drunk one of the evening. I spent more and more time upstairs, him drinking downstairs in front of the TV. We started to live a VERY divided life.
Several years ago, we stopped talking in the evenings because he wouldn't remember the conversations the next morning. I felt like I was living with two husbands: the sober one of the morning and the drunk one of the evening. I spent more and more time upstairs, him drinking downstairs in front of the TV. We started to live a VERY divided life.
Exact same situation here NikTes.
One day at a time.
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nowhere, USA
Posts: 340
Originally Posted by NikTes
Ah, hard questions from Arctic and Djinn. Necessary ones. I could probably go on for pages!
My husband has been a blackout drinker for at least 15 years -- so I went through the get-him-to-stop-drinking phase years ago, before I got stuck in my own problem. I was heartbroken. Over time, I learned that I am powerless over his choices.
Several years ago, we stopped talking in the evenings because he wouldn't remember the conversations the next morning. I felt like I was living with two husbands: the sober one of the morning and the drunk one of the evening. I spent more and more time upstairs, him drinking downstairs in front of the TV. We started to live a VERY divided life.
So much so that he doesn't know that I'm now dealing with my own alcohol problem. He has no idea that I was getting drunk in the morning, to deal with daily anxiety, after he would leave for work. (Well, maybe he does, surely my breath reeked of wine on weekend mornings.) He knew I drank before doing public presentations -- he has seen me slurring drunk in public -- but he has no idea the extent of my problem. SR is the only support I have.
Sorry for the long post. I could go on and on and on.
I myself was the two-faced husband in my relationship. Nice, sober, and kind during the day; stupid, stumbling, jackass at night. I know for sure that it's wrought havoc in my household and strained my relationships with all of my kids and my wife. I wonder, does your SO know that this is how you see things? In terms of the double life?
At any rate, at least you have a clear head and can see things for what they are. I hope this will aid you in finding the way ahead. Good luck to you and any time you need us, we will all be here.
One day at a time.
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nowhere, USA
Posts: 340
Originally Posted by ArcticSA
No harm. It does increase the difficulty, in fact, I'm sure it contributed to my last relapses, but I don't know what my other option is, can't get rid of THAT temptation! lol He is not an alcoholic, so it doesn't hurt me. Maybe it should hurt that he won't stop for me, but he doesn't really understand that he should because he doesn't understand my addiction. He still doesn't think I have a problem. Like Niktes, for now I am just on my own.
One day at a time.
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nowhere, USA
Posts: 340
Anyone else here dealing with phantom hangovers? I got up this morning feeling like crap with skin draped over it. Went for a run and that amplified it somehow O.o...
On the plus side, the sun is shining and I'm nine days sober!
On the plus side, the sun is shining and I'm nine days sober!
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 237
Originally Posted by SpiritOfDjinn
Anyone else here dealing with phantom hangovers? I got up this morning feeling like crap with skin draped over it. Went for a run and that amplified it somehow O.o... On the plus side, the sun is shining and I'm nine days sober!
Day 8 for me today. Yesterday I was in a bit of a mood - I felt the temptation so I was reading all of everyone's advice on here and poured out the last few beers I had tucked away in the pantry. I feel MUCH better today, though! One day at a time, right? Have a great day everybody!
One day at a time.
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nowhere, USA
Posts: 340
Originally Posted by Kafkaesque
I have been feeling like that all week. From my experience last year, the hangover feeling started to go away after a month or so. I thought it might be from my body trying to recover from the lack of alcohol and from any damage the excessive drinking caused. Good for you going for a run and taking care of your body!
Day 8 for me today. Yesterday I was in a bit of a mood - I felt the temptation so I was reading all of everyone's advice on here and poured out the last few beers I had tucked away in the pantry. I feel MUCH better today, though! One day at a time, right? Have a great day everybody!
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: California
Posts: 266
Day 2. Man I think day 2 is always the worst for me. Not because I want to drink, but because the anxiety is overwhelming. I beat myself up all day. I am just sitting here realizing how behind I am in life and it probably has a whole lot to do with having been a drunk for all these years. I want to get this under control so I can get a gripe on my future. I think I need to go post in the mental health section, as I feel I am losing it lately.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: California
Posts: 266
Originally Posted by ArcticSA
Don't ever feel stupid for posting here! Be proud you came back and posted here. You still have this! You still have the desire and will, you get stronger each time and learn something new each time! Congrats on Day one. Tomorrow will be day 2. See you tomorrow!
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