Class of August 2014 Part 12
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by sthlondonab 
Hey all
I am back in London, arrived home too late for the bonfire night display, but never mind. There's always next year.
I like the idea of goals. I have been keeping it to each day at a time but now feeling like I can think a little bit ahead.
Next is :
100 days next week
104 days coming soon - this is a significant one for me as previously I got to this number and folded, which led to three months of complete carnage and losing an awful lot. This time I feel I have the tools to keep going.
After 104 I will try to count in weeks and not days.
31.12 - to look back on what has been a horrible year but also the year I decided to get my life back. And to actually remember midnight and not be in blackout.
I am back in London, arrived home too late for the bonfire night display, but never mind. There's always next year.
I like the idea of goals. I have been keeping it to each day at a time but now feeling like I can think a little bit ahead.
Next is :
100 days next week
104 days coming soon - this is a significant one for me as previously I got to this number and folded, which led to three months of complete carnage and losing an awful lot. This time I feel I have the tools to keep going.
After 104 I will try to count in weeks and not days.
31.12 - to look back on what has been a horrible year but also the year I decided to get my life back. And to actually remember midnight and not be in blackout.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 522
Apple, I don't think this is exactly a goal, but I was a sneaky drinker as well. I was in perfect control with family and then would go home and drink to reward myself.
I try to think of being sober as my own secret reward. In the midst of chaos, I am calm because I have found a secret source of strength. Also, I'm now planning out rewards in the place of AL. Right now, I'm all about bubble baths, so I would pick out some new bubble bath to have waiting and imagine how good it will feel, the book I will have waiting, and how I will feel the next day-tired, relaxed, and proud!
I try to think of being sober as my own secret reward. In the midst of chaos, I am calm because I have found a secret source of strength. Also, I'm now planning out rewards in the place of AL. Right now, I'm all about bubble baths, so I would pick out some new bubble bath to have waiting and imagine how good it will feel, the book I will have waiting, and how I will feel the next day-tired, relaxed, and proud!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 118
Hi All,
It's good to be back among you!
I can see that you all have been busy, judging from all the pages of conversation that's' gone on in the past 10 days. I'm looking forward to reading all this and getting caught up.
My time away was interesting and a little surprising.
Before I left, I had planned to use this time to take a hard look at myself and try to answer the big "Why" of all my heavy drinking past. I thought a serious self-examination would be just what I needed. However, as I entered the Monastery, I made a bit of a change of direction and decided to not have my agenda rule my time there (Not my will but Thine be done).
Sure enough a couple of interesting things happened-
First- I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT ALCOHOL virtually the entire time I was there. Zero- nothing. Days went by and it simply didn't come up. In fact, I had to force myself to think about it... "Remember, you were going to do all that soul searching???" But nothing popped into my head, then I recalled my intent to give up my will during my stay. Besides I was really busy, even though it's a cloistered Monastery, the place is super active. I think the total change of scenery/location made a big difference- a very remote canyon in Northern New Mexico. But there was a bit of AL there one day!! One of the young Brothers made his final vows and there was a big reception as it also occurred in conjunction with a major feast day in the Church. It was so funny to see a few of the monks, with their long black hooded cloaks, walking around with a beer or glass of wine. I wished I thought to take a picture!
Second- I more or less concluded that a huge introspective look back into my past was probably of only marginal value. What's past is past. I could spend a lot of time dwelling on it, but a better use of my energy and focus is the future. Being aware of my triggers and avoiding them or smartly dealing with them is probably better. For instance, in my case, big triggers were/are my introverted shyness around people and dealing with really stressful situations, especially involving my family. They were great times to grab a drink. Now, with that awareness, I think I have the tools to anticipate and work around those occurrences.
Make sense?
Whew!1 lots to say. Oh, by the way- today is Day 90.
It's good to be back among you!
I can see that you all have been busy, judging from all the pages of conversation that's' gone on in the past 10 days. I'm looking forward to reading all this and getting caught up.
My time away was interesting and a little surprising.
Before I left, I had planned to use this time to take a hard look at myself and try to answer the big "Why" of all my heavy drinking past. I thought a serious self-examination would be just what I needed. However, as I entered the Monastery, I made a bit of a change of direction and decided to not have my agenda rule my time there (Not my will but Thine be done).
Sure enough a couple of interesting things happened-
First- I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT ALCOHOL virtually the entire time I was there. Zero- nothing. Days went by and it simply didn't come up. In fact, I had to force myself to think about it... "Remember, you were going to do all that soul searching???" But nothing popped into my head, then I recalled my intent to give up my will during my stay. Besides I was really busy, even though it's a cloistered Monastery, the place is super active. I think the total change of scenery/location made a big difference- a very remote canyon in Northern New Mexico. But there was a bit of AL there one day!! One of the young Brothers made his final vows and there was a big reception as it also occurred in conjunction with a major feast day in the Church. It was so funny to see a few of the monks, with their long black hooded cloaks, walking around with a beer or glass of wine. I wished I thought to take a picture!
Second- I more or less concluded that a huge introspective look back into my past was probably of only marginal value. What's past is past. I could spend a lot of time dwelling on it, but a better use of my energy and focus is the future. Being aware of my triggers and avoiding them or smartly dealing with them is probably better. For instance, in my case, big triggers were/are my introverted shyness around people and dealing with really stressful situations, especially involving my family. They were great times to grab a drink. Now, with that awareness, I think I have the tools to anticipate and work around those occurrences.
Make sense?
Whew!1 lots to say. Oh, by the way- today is Day 90.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Morning. Rah I am right behind you with Day four. I am also very tired but glad I am no longer drinking.
I was drinking 7 bottles of wine and then some per week. Shocking. My body looks worn but will slowly build it back up again.
Happy bday 1step.
I was drinking 7 bottles of wine and then some per week. Shocking. My body looks worn but will slowly build it back up again.
Happy bday 1step.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Originally Posted by Applekat
Scooter - I'm one of those who have little problem with behaving on the front lines but rewarding myself after the fact. Pathetic I know.
My kiddos and sister will get me through the wedding just fine. I won't let them down. It's the rambunctious rehearsal dinner and then the "after" it all late Saturday night that tempt me.
Morning of day 7. Phew.
I'm not sure about what goal to give myself. For the near term it's to get through to Monday - day 11. Then what, I'm not sure.
My kiddos and sister will get me through the wedding just fine. I won't let them down. It's the rambunctious rehearsal dinner and then the "after" it all late Saturday night that tempt me.
Morning of day 7. Phew.
I'm not sure about what goal to give myself. For the near term it's to get through to Monday - day 11. Then what, I'm not sure.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,850
Good morning team.
Glandon, welcome back and big congrats on day 90! I'm happy your retreat went well.
Rah and knb, you are doing great. Today is my 2 week mark.
Goals are important to stay focused. My current ones are to lose some weight, quit being so negative,and of course not drink.
Captain, I'm glad you didn't drink yesterday. How you doing today?
Wishing all a sober happy today.
Glandon, welcome back and big congrats on day 90! I'm happy your retreat went well.
Rah and knb, you are doing great. Today is my 2 week mark.
Goals are important to stay focused. My current ones are to lose some weight, quit being so negative,and of course not drink.
Captain, I'm glad you didn't drink yesterday. How you doing today?
Wishing all a sober happy today.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by maximus97
Good morning team.
Glandon, welcome back and big congrats on day 90! I'm happy your retreat went well.
Rah and knb, you are doing great. Today is my 2 week mark.
Goals are important to stay focused. My current ones are to lose some weight, quit being so negative,and of course not drink.
Captain, I'm glad you didn't drink yesterday. How you doing today?
Wishing all a sober happy today.
Glandon, welcome back and big congrats on day 90! I'm happy your retreat went well.
Rah and knb, you are doing great. Today is my 2 week mark.
Goals are important to stay focused. My current ones are to lose some weight, quit being so negative,and of course not drink.
Captain, I'm glad you didn't drink yesterday. How you doing today?
Wishing all a sober happy today.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by CaptainWhip
Just a question, what other forms of recovery are people on here using?
I need something else. Tried AA again a couple of days ago and still hated it.
There is counselling but I got to the end of my sessions and I don't know if I can still go. That's what helped me to get to 62 days.
I need something else. Tried AA again a couple of days ago and still hated it.
There is counselling but I got to the end of my sessions and I don't know if I can still go. That's what helped me to get to 62 days.
I am doing LifeRing meetings. They do not do 12 steps (neither does SMART Recovery). I go 1-2 times per week, or however many I feel I need that week. The meetings are very very positive and supportive. Almost no negativity at all (except when describing drinking).
I think AA is great for some and more power to them, but it just wasn't my fit. LifeRing feels totally different. Feels like SR but in person
-- and I am quite sure SMART Recovery is the same.You CAN do this !!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Welcome back Glandon so glad to have you back and congratulations on 90 days !
Happy Belated Birthday, 1Step!
Pink and Determined, hope you both feel better.
Apple, you got this wedding thing! Have fun and stay sober so you can remember it the way it was intended to be remembered. We love you!
Everyone else, keep at it -- we are beating this thing every day we don’t pick up we build up our confidence and sober muscles.
Love and hugs, Chris
Happy Belated Birthday, 1Step!
Pink and Determined, hope you both feel better.
Apple, you got this wedding thing! Have fun and stay sober so you can remember it the way it was intended to be remembered. We love you!
Everyone else, keep at it -- we are beating this thing every day we don’t pick up we build up our confidence and sober muscles.
Love and hugs, Chris
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
I've shared this story with others and know you guys would appreciate it too....
Last night I got pulled over by the police (for speeding) rushing home to be with my wife and daughter after a 15 hour long day so I could be on time to tuck my daughter into bed.
The amazing thing is that in the past I probably would have had alcohol on my breath and my heart would be pounding out of my chest when I saw the blinding red and white lights flashing obscenely brightly in my rear view mirror.
Instead, I calmly pulled over to the side of the road. I knew I deserved the ticket and there was a calmness about me I would have never ever felt had I still been a drinker.
At one point the officer shined his flashlight towards my eyes (probably to see if I had been drinking) and I almost smiled at the peace I felt knowing that I was completely sober and had been for 86 days. What a feeling!
I won't lie, the ticket stinks, but I was speeding so I got what I deserved, and in 10 minutes it was over and I was on my way home and I still managed to tuck my daughter in.
Had I been drinking this story would have started and ended very very differently!!
Just one of the millions of reasons I am so grateful to be sober !!!!!!!!
Just thought I'd share this powerful victory as I know you all understand!
Hugs and love, Chris
P.S.- Not that it really matters but the speed limit was 65mph and I was doing 78mph (I was flowing with traffic as everyone was doing 75-80mph)., but they chose me that day to pull over for whatever reason But that's not the point of the story. Just didn't want y'all thinking I was doing 100mph or something crazy like that. I didn't even know my little Prius could get up to 78mph I guess I know now!
Last night I got pulled over by the police (for speeding) rushing home to be with my wife and daughter after a 15 hour long day so I could be on time to tuck my daughter into bed.
The amazing thing is that in the past I probably would have had alcohol on my breath and my heart would be pounding out of my chest when I saw the blinding red and white lights flashing obscenely brightly in my rear view mirror.
Instead, I calmly pulled over to the side of the road. I knew I deserved the ticket and there was a calmness about me I would have never ever felt had I still been a drinker.
At one point the officer shined his flashlight towards my eyes (probably to see if I had been drinking) and I almost smiled at the peace I felt knowing that I was completely sober and had been for 86 days. What a feeling!
I won't lie, the ticket stinks, but I was speeding so I got what I deserved, and in 10 minutes it was over and I was on my way home and I still managed to tuck my daughter in.
Had I been drinking this story would have started and ended very very differently!!
Just one of the millions of reasons I am so grateful to be sober !!!!!!!!
Just thought I'd share this powerful victory as I know you all understand!
Hugs and love, Chris
P.S.- Not that it really matters but the speed limit was 65mph and I was doing 78mph (I was flowing with traffic as everyone was doing 75-80mph)., but they chose me that day to pull over for whatever reason But that's not the point of the story. Just didn't want y'all thinking I was doing 100mph or something crazy like that. I didn't even know my little Prius could get up to 78mph I guess I know now!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 974
Hey everyone.
My short term goal is to make it through this weekend. I know it's not much but man it's been hard lately. I've crumbled the past two weekends. My husband is already planning things to do and of course it'll involve drinking. I will stay close and post a lot so be prepared.
My short term goal is to make it through this weekend. I know it's not much but man it's been hard lately. I've crumbled the past two weekends. My husband is already planning things to do and of course it'll involve drinking. I will stay close and post a lot so be prepared.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 118
Originally Posted by calichris
I've shared this story with others and know you guys would appreciate it too....
Last night I got pulled over by the police (for speeding) rushing home to be with my wife and daughter after a 15 hour long day so I could be on time to tuck my daughter into bed.
The amazing thing is that in the past I probably would have had alcohol on my breath and my heart would be pounding out of my chest when I saw the blinding red and white lights flashing obscenely brightly in my rear view mirror.
Instead, I calmly pulled over to the side of the road. I knew I deserved the ticket and there was a calmness about me I would have never ever felt had I still been a drinker.
At one point the officer shined his flashlight towards my eyes (probably to see if I had been drinking) and I almost smiled at the peace I felt knowing that I was completely sober and had been for 86 days. What a feeling!
I won't lie, the ticket stinks, but I was speeding so I got what I deserved, and in 10 minutes it was over and I was on my way home and I still managed to tuck my daughter in.
Had I been drinking this story would have started and ended very very differently!!
Just one of the millions of reasons I am so grateful to be sober !!!!!!!!
Just thought I'd share this powerful victory as I know you all understand!
Hugs and love, Chris
P.S.- Not that it really matters but the speed limit was 65mph and I was doing 78mph (I was flowing with traffic as everyone was doing 75-80mph)., but they chose me that day to pull over for whatever reason But that's not the point of the story. Just didn't want y'all thinking I was doing 100mph or something crazy like that. I didn't even know my little Prius could get up to 78mph I guess I know now!
Last night I got pulled over by the police (for speeding) rushing home to be with my wife and daughter after a 15 hour long day so I could be on time to tuck my daughter into bed.
The amazing thing is that in the past I probably would have had alcohol on my breath and my heart would be pounding out of my chest when I saw the blinding red and white lights flashing obscenely brightly in my rear view mirror.
Instead, I calmly pulled over to the side of the road. I knew I deserved the ticket and there was a calmness about me I would have never ever felt had I still been a drinker.
At one point the officer shined his flashlight towards my eyes (probably to see if I had been drinking) and I almost smiled at the peace I felt knowing that I was completely sober and had been for 86 days. What a feeling!
I won't lie, the ticket stinks, but I was speeding so I got what I deserved, and in 10 minutes it was over and I was on my way home and I still managed to tuck my daughter in.
Had I been drinking this story would have started and ended very very differently!!
Just one of the millions of reasons I am so grateful to be sober !!!!!!!!
Just thought I'd share this powerful victory as I know you all understand!
Hugs and love, Chris
P.S.- Not that it really matters but the speed limit was 65mph and I was doing 78mph (I was flowing with traffic as everyone was doing 75-80mph)., but they chose me that day to pull over for whatever reason But that's not the point of the story. Just didn't want y'all thinking I was doing 100mph or something crazy like that. I didn't even know my little Prius could get up to 78mph I guess I know now!
Chris, Great story - ticket is a bummer, though. However, this is one more reason, on a very long list of reasons why drinking is no bueno, and sobriety is wonderful. Thanks for the insight.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Well done on milestones, inspirational stuff, sorry ive been off the radar you'll guess why, Ive had a truly frightening experience with the drink the day before my birthday, Id bought 2 bottles of spirits and virtually drank the lot in self destruct mode, I blacked out but the next day I was REALLY ill and my body couldn't take any more abuse, started throwing up and luckily rang the NHS line to ask what I should do, whilst doing this I passed out and the next thing I remember was being in the ambulance on way to hospital.
It was scary but was taken care of then well by the nurses and its started a new resolution in me to not give up and die from this alcoholism, Im still very ill but have since been allowed home, Never want to have a birthday like that again, but Im lucky to be alive, cant believe the amount Ive got through since I relapsed, back on day 2, back to AA tomorrow and back to being back on board here.
Im red in the face and can hardly eat but Im here to stay with a stronger resolve than ever to survive this thing.
It was scary but was taken care of then well by the nurses and its started a new resolution in me to not give up and die from this alcoholism, Im still very ill but have since been allowed home, Never want to have a birthday like that again, but Im lucky to be alive, cant believe the amount Ive got through since I relapsed, back on day 2, back to AA tomorrow and back to being back on board here.
Im red in the face and can hardly eat but Im here to stay with a stronger resolve than ever to survive this thing.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Originally Posted by Choobie
Apple, I don't think this is exactly a goal, but I was a sneaky drinker as well. I was in perfect control with family and then would go home and drink to reward myself.
I try to think of being sober as my own secret reward. In the midst of chaos, I am calm because I have found a secret source of strength. Also, I'm now planning out rewards in the place of AL. Right now, I'm all about bubble baths, so I would pick out some new bubble bath to have waiting and imagine how good it will feel, the book I will have waiting, and how I will feel the next day-tired, relaxed, and proud!
I try to think of being sober as my own secret reward. In the midst of chaos, I am calm because I have found a secret source of strength. Also, I'm now planning out rewards in the place of AL. Right now, I'm all about bubble baths, so I would pick out some new bubble bath to have waiting and imagine how good it will feel, the book I will have waiting, and how I will feel the next day-tired, relaxed, and proud!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
