Class Of February 2014 Part 11
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,074
Hello Febbies,
Glee- It sounds like you had a really hectic pregnancy the second time around. That must have been really difficult for you. It's hard enough as is being pregnant, let alone dealing with heavy stuff like that. I was a mess my first pregnancy because of the whole alcohol thing. Crying all the time and very very high anxiety. During my IOP rehab I had a psychiatrist tell me that I was highly prone to relapse because pregnant women tend to seek comfort and I found comfort in alcohol. I thought that was interesting. I wonder if being sentimental was your way of seeking comfort.
I feel fine now. The only issue I have is that I'm VERY tired and that's starting to affect me quite a bit. I sleep 9 hours a night and I require a nap when my baby takes a nap. Then I still feel groggy and tired. Exhausted. Drained. Sometimes I just want to cry because I'm sick of being tired, and this is only the beginning! Not only that but I had to cut way back on the caffeine. I've tried everything that is supposed to make you feel better naturally. I exercise, eat right, drink lots of water etc etc. Ok ok, maybe the Chinese food I ate for dinner 2 days in a row didn't help...
Anyway, I hope all is well with everyone. I miss Torn and I worry about her.
Gazza- I'm glad you enjoyed the RR crash course and SMART handbook! I found those to be golden too. They have been essential in my recovery. Like IMMENSELY helpful.
Glee- It sounds like you had a really hectic pregnancy the second time around. That must have been really difficult for you. It's hard enough as is being pregnant, let alone dealing with heavy stuff like that. I was a mess my first pregnancy because of the whole alcohol thing. Crying all the time and very very high anxiety. During my IOP rehab I had a psychiatrist tell me that I was highly prone to relapse because pregnant women tend to seek comfort and I found comfort in alcohol. I thought that was interesting. I wonder if being sentimental was your way of seeking comfort.
I feel fine now. The only issue I have is that I'm VERY tired and that's starting to affect me quite a bit. I sleep 9 hours a night and I require a nap when my baby takes a nap. Then I still feel groggy and tired. Exhausted. Drained. Sometimes I just want to cry because I'm sick of being tired, and this is only the beginning! Not only that but I had to cut way back on the caffeine. I've tried everything that is supposed to make you feel better naturally. I exercise, eat right, drink lots of water etc etc. Ok ok, maybe the Chinese food I ate for dinner 2 days in a row didn't help...
Anyway, I hope all is well with everyone. I miss Torn and I worry about her.
Gazza- I'm glad you enjoyed the RR crash course and SMART handbook! I found those to be golden too. They have been essential in my recovery. Like IMMENSELY helpful.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 436
Hello Febbies!
Lulu - You're doing the right thing by napping when your baby naps. Everything else can wait. It won't be like this forever, although it may seem like it now. It's just your homones readjusting to being pregnant. You were probably tired during the first trimester the first time around but didn't realize it. And personally I'd probably drink a cup or two more of caffeine a day, but that's just me, the rebel.
We spent yesterday afternoon touring the college by son is going to transfer to next year. It was a beautiful fall day and we had a great time. I know for a fact that even 6 months ago I wouldn't have been able to do this. It felt so good to be able to walk the campus and ask questions without being under the influence and/or a panic stricken mess. Life is good.
Hope everyone is doing well!
Lulu - You're doing the right thing by napping when your baby naps. Everything else can wait. It won't be like this forever, although it may seem like it now. It's just your homones readjusting to being pregnant. You were probably tired during the first trimester the first time around but didn't realize it. And personally I'd probably drink a cup or two more of caffeine a day, but that's just me, the rebel.
We spent yesterday afternoon touring the college by son is going to transfer to next year. It was a beautiful fall day and we had a great time. I know for a fact that even 6 months ago I wouldn't have been able to do this. It felt so good to be able to walk the campus and ask questions without being under the influence and/or a panic stricken mess. Life is good.
Hope everyone is doing well!
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
Checking In
Hi Febbies,
How I miss you all. I'm just crazed about the success some of you have had. I'm really disappointed in myself but I am on the crazy train of success and failure which I decided not to post as often.
I really miss my Febbies though and I still like the updates for those that are working a good program.
I've been working also really hard at my Master's program. I did a good job of messing it up with my drinking but I'm 3 classes away and they offered a class in Europe. So I applied and it costs me money but I can visit Europe of Economics, US Embassy and a lot of other things my hubby might find boring. My mom who raised us super poor is against this idea and I'll let you know I moved out ASAP and paid my own schooling and rent for many years. So she mad me feel super guiltily but I've decided if my class allows me, I will go to Europe for international finance class.
My husband has been my worse enemy in turning off drinks but he's aging and he's realizing. I said to him last week, sucks to realize you're an alcoholic doesn't it? He agreed. I shouldn't and won't base my quitting on his actions but I tried alone last year with like 90 day results, with him on my side, maybe we can go longer? Or at least learn we aren't on same page.
I hate to be the person show shows up one in a blue moon on a webpages but I think about others and I'd rather know something than nothing. I continue to think we are headed in right direction, even if it is the slow track.
How I miss you all. I'm just crazed about the success some of you have had. I'm really disappointed in myself but I am on the crazy train of success and failure which I decided not to post as often.
I really miss my Febbies though and I still like the updates for those that are working a good program.
I've been working also really hard at my Master's program. I did a good job of messing it up with my drinking but I'm 3 classes away and they offered a class in Europe. So I applied and it costs me money but I can visit Europe of Economics, US Embassy and a lot of other things my hubby might find boring. My mom who raised us super poor is against this idea and I'll let you know I moved out ASAP and paid my own schooling and rent for many years. So she mad me feel super guiltily but I've decided if my class allows me, I will go to Europe for international finance class.
My husband has been my worse enemy in turning off drinks but he's aging and he's realizing. I said to him last week, sucks to realize you're an alcoholic doesn't it? He agreed. I shouldn't and won't base my quitting on his actions but I tried alone last year with like 90 day results, with him on my side, maybe we can go longer? Or at least learn we aren't on same page.
I hate to be the person show shows up one in a blue moon on a webpages but I think about others and I'd rather know something than nothing. I continue to think we are headed in right direction, even if it is the slow track.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Originally Posted by LonelyShadow 
Torn!! 
Great to hear from you
Great to hear from you
The class in Europe sounds fantastic. Go for it, girl!!!
Hope you stay close, successes or failures.
Happy
from the Febbies.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,074
Torn, it's great to hear from you again! The Europe opportunity sounds awesome! Keep us posted!
Went to the immunologist/ allergist for baby again this morning. Initially went in because he had an allergic reaction to eggs and when I told his pediatrician about it she referred him to this allergist MD before she gave him any more immunizations. Well, this allergist is apparently very thorough. She not only found out that my son is indeed allergic to eggs, but he also has a deficient immune system AND a bacterial infection in his nose that causes him to get sick often. So, this summer when he kept getting sick I somehow thought it was MY fault, even though I was wiping down all the carts and keeping him away from sick people, but he just has this deficient immune system and a bacterial infection in his nose. So, I'm glad we got that figured out now.
On another note, today is sort of an anniversary for me. This used to be my sobriety date (11-12-13) and would have been still had I not drank again on my birthday. That being said, this means I have only drank 1 time in an entire year. I can't wait until I've drank 0 times in a year. Woo hoo!
Went to the immunologist/ allergist for baby again this morning. Initially went in because he had an allergic reaction to eggs and when I told his pediatrician about it she referred him to this allergist MD before she gave him any more immunizations. Well, this allergist is apparently very thorough. She not only found out that my son is indeed allergic to eggs, but he also has a deficient immune system AND a bacterial infection in his nose that causes him to get sick often. So, this summer when he kept getting sick I somehow thought it was MY fault, even though I was wiping down all the carts and keeping him away from sick people, but he just has this deficient immune system and a bacterial infection in his nose. So, I'm glad we got that figured out now.
On another note, today is sort of an anniversary for me. This used to be my sobriety date (11-12-13) and would have been still had I not drank again on my birthday. That being said, this means I have only drank 1 time in an entire year. I can't wait until I've drank 0 times in a year. Woo hoo!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 436
Lulu, I have news for you..... You're always going to think that everything is your fault. That's what us Mothers do. 
It sounds like you've got a great medical team on your side. That's so important!
Congratulations on today's milestone. And yes, it IS a milestone because it is the date of the beginning of your sober journey. One you should be very, very proud of!!
It sounds like you've got a great medical team on your side. That's so important! Congratulations on today's milestone. And yes, it IS a milestone because it is the date of the beginning of your sober journey. One you should be very, very proud of!!
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
Originally Posted by Lulupalooza
Torn, it's great to hear from you again! The Europe opportunity sounds awesome! Keep us posted!
Went to the immunologist/ allergist for baby again this morning. Initially went in because he had an allergic reaction to eggs and when I told his pediatrician about it she referred him to this allergist MD before she gave him any more immunizations. Well, this allergist is apparently very thorough. She not only found out that my son is indeed allergic to eggs, but he also has a deficient immune system AND a bacterial infection in his nose that causes him to get sick often. So, this summer when he kept getting sick I somehow thought it was MY fault, even though I was wiping down all the carts and keeping him away from sick people, but he just has this deficient immune system and a bacterial infection in his nose. So, I'm glad we got that figured out now.
On another note, today is sort of an anniversary for me. This used to be my sobriety date (11-12-13) and would have been still had I not drank again on my birthday. That being said, this means I have only drank 1 time in an entire year. I can't wait until I've drank 0 times in a year. Woo hoo!
Went to the immunologist/ allergist for baby again this morning. Initially went in because he had an allergic reaction to eggs and when I told his pediatrician about it she referred him to this allergist MD before she gave him any more immunizations. Well, this allergist is apparently very thorough. She not only found out that my son is indeed allergic to eggs, but he also has a deficient immune system AND a bacterial infection in his nose that causes him to get sick often. So, this summer when he kept getting sick I somehow thought it was MY fault, even though I was wiping down all the carts and keeping him away from sick people, but he just has this deficient immune system and a bacterial infection in his nose. So, I'm glad we got that figured out now.
On another note, today is sort of an anniversary for me. This used to be my sobriety date (11-12-13) and would have been still had I not drank again on my birthday. That being said, this means I have only drank 1 time in an entire year. I can't wait until I've drank 0 times in a year. Woo hoo!
Allergies are impacting us so much now. I wonder if we just have better testing or more sensitive kids? I know if I wear makeup or anything with smell like perfume I blow up red and puffy. My husband likes cologne and I've often complained that now mild stuff he usese is in the garage for his use.
No way this is your fault. It's something that we should study because I know people allergic to the sun and grass, and that's very unfortunate because that is regular outdoor life.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,074
Hi Febbies,
Torn- It does seem like people are more sensitive to things these days. Not sure why. I'm horribly allergic to penicillin and I breakout in hives with any laundry detergent that isn't hypoallergenic. The odd thing about my son is that while the skin test was positive for an allergic reaction for eggs, his blood test didn't indicate any allergic response to eggs. Either way, he isn't getting any eggs for a while.
I was reflecting on 11-12-13 yesterday. In a way, I felt like I should celebrate that day because that was one of the times I drank where I realized that I REALLY don't want to drink and it isn't worth it. That day I was really stressed out so I went to the grocery store and I bought 2 wine coolers in a box. That's right, those really disgusting wine coolers. I parked in an undeveloped area by our house and drank them on the way home. Nothing great happened. The sense of throwing up was more overwhelming than the warm rush. By the time I got home the buzz finally set in. Later, my husband questioned me about it. He said I was acting strange and demanded to see my grocery receipt, which had be disposed of way before I got home. Later that night I woke up after about 2 hours of sleep and I couldn't go back to sleep. I was jittery and anxious. I was afraid I hadn't taken very good care of my baby (at that time he was 2 mo old). I realized how close I had come to getting caught and how it must have looked to my husband. The next day I felt like crap. The next time I drank was on my birthday. I thought that if I got better wine and I drank it a little slower, I'd have better results. Nope, still not worth it. Not worth it one bit. It was just like it was when I had left it. Miserable. Not fun or relaxing anymore. It was down and dirty pathetic alcoholic drinking. I realized it'll never be the same again. I'll never enjoy it again, and I'll never be able to drink 'normally' ever again. My romantic relationship with alcohol has soured and turned into nothing short of an abusive relationship. It'll never change.
Torn- It does seem like people are more sensitive to things these days. Not sure why. I'm horribly allergic to penicillin and I breakout in hives with any laundry detergent that isn't hypoallergenic. The odd thing about my son is that while the skin test was positive for an allergic reaction for eggs, his blood test didn't indicate any allergic response to eggs. Either way, he isn't getting any eggs for a while.
I was reflecting on 11-12-13 yesterday. In a way, I felt like I should celebrate that day because that was one of the times I drank where I realized that I REALLY don't want to drink and it isn't worth it. That day I was really stressed out so I went to the grocery store and I bought 2 wine coolers in a box. That's right, those really disgusting wine coolers. I parked in an undeveloped area by our house and drank them on the way home. Nothing great happened. The sense of throwing up was more overwhelming than the warm rush. By the time I got home the buzz finally set in. Later, my husband questioned me about it. He said I was acting strange and demanded to see my grocery receipt, which had be disposed of way before I got home. Later that night I woke up after about 2 hours of sleep and I couldn't go back to sleep. I was jittery and anxious. I was afraid I hadn't taken very good care of my baby (at that time he was 2 mo old). I realized how close I had come to getting caught and how it must have looked to my husband. The next day I felt like crap. The next time I drank was on my birthday. I thought that if I got better wine and I drank it a little slower, I'd have better results. Nope, still not worth it. Not worth it one bit. It was just like it was when I had left it. Miserable. Not fun or relaxing anymore. It was down and dirty pathetic alcoholic drinking. I realized it'll never be the same again. I'll never enjoy it again, and I'll never be able to drink 'normally' ever again. My romantic relationship with alcohol has soured and turned into nothing short of an abusive relationship. It'll never change.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Lulu - Reading your description of your last drink hit home with me. So well stated.
I'm in the final phase of studying for my exam. It's tomorrow night. I've never learned anything in such a short period of time. I've also never taken an exam where there is so much on the line - no praxis, no boards, nothing.
I studied hard for finals in college, but I've never experienced this level of pressure sober. My classmates and I are taking our tests around the same time. I've decided that I am not going to accompany them for a celebration afterwards at a bar. The desire to unwind and let loose could be dangerous for me with proximity to readily available alcohol. So I came up with a plan to go home and rest after the test, then cleared my schedule Saturday to hang with some friends.
I've been stressed out and I haven't been working much of a program over these past three weeks. These are the situations where people can succumb to alcohol's siren song. I've seen what's on the other side of my bottle of wine. I don't want to lose the peace, serenity and focus I'm beginning to experience in sobriety has for the fleeting rush of drinking. And like lulu said, it's lost it's luster for me anyway.
Thanks all for being here!
I'm in the final phase of studying for my exam. It's tomorrow night. I've never learned anything in such a short period of time. I've also never taken an exam where there is so much on the line - no praxis, no boards, nothing.
I studied hard for finals in college, but I've never experienced this level of pressure sober. My classmates and I are taking our tests around the same time. I've decided that I am not going to accompany them for a celebration afterwards at a bar. The desire to unwind and let loose could be dangerous for me with proximity to readily available alcohol. So I came up with a plan to go home and rest after the test, then cleared my schedule Saturday to hang with some friends.
I've been stressed out and I haven't been working much of a program over these past three weeks. These are the situations where people can succumb to alcohol's siren song. I've seen what's on the other side of my bottle of wine. I don't want to lose the peace, serenity and focus I'm beginning to experience in sobriety has for the fleeting rush of drinking. And like lulu said, it's lost it's luster for me anyway.
Thanks all for being here!
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