opalblue

Lol. Am feeling quite soppy tonight. Gonna go to bed before I say anymore. Goodnight class

1stepup

Got through the evening sober somehow, thanks for encouragement everyone, was swamped in self pity earlier and went for a lie down in a dark room and drifted off to sleep for a few hours. Really clinging on to the 'this too shall pass' phrase now, but it will and I don't have to drink on these emotions.

I do need to be more assertive and need to work on this, in the past I've let things build up inside me and let it eat away at my inner peace. Its a balance of making it clear when Im upset by a comment without resorting to revenge comments back in spite.

I feel I am learning to cope better with negative feelings this time around, in the past I would have bottled it all up and used the comments as a perfect justification to drink 'I'll show them!!!' type of attitude.

After the sleep I had im now wide awake past midnight, reminds me of the early days when I was coming down and struggling with withdrawal!

Choobie

Hang tough, 1 step, you are doing great! You are right, it will pass. I think we are all going through growing pains. We take a step, we do a little work, and see results down the road. I believe you are about to turn the corner!

Applekat

"I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living or get busy dying."

Dee74

I'm sorry so many people seemed to struggle last night (my time) but I'm thrilled to see everyone made it through

D

determined99

Great job for hanging tough team. I feel it too, big time actually.

Asked to go on another business trip. I think I am ready for it, but dang AV had me immediately thinking about chillin in airport and hotel lounges... Looking back on prior trips with nostalgia. Then I reminded myself of the blackouts and preparation H under the eyes to give presentations... Not remembering getting on planes or the plane ride or how I got to the hotel...

Ok, talked myself back to team august land! I think I like it here! How about you guys?!!

CristinaN

So glad everyone made it through the day. I wonder if the change in weather is part of the reason some are feeling down. In any event I'm happy y'all made it through.

Choobie

Determined, I love it here in TeamAugust sober land! Prep H not needed here. Lol!
:banana :banana

Thus evening I am grateful for:
New TV season on Hulu
Cheese nips
That my parents picked up their dogs
Quiet, clear moments in my mind
Ice cream cones
That I am sober, right this minute

doingsomething

Hi Team August. Sorry I haven't posted in a long while. And very sorry to hear the rough day a lot of team mates had. But since I'm catching the tail end, it's great to see everyone pushing through. Very encouraging.

I have to confess I feel kind of remiss in posting, especially since I check in and probably post less than half the time. Kind of makes me a lurker. Apologies for that. Aside from being somewhat of a solitary guy by nature, I haven't been struggling so much with the AV and also feel a little guilty about that. But I know my day will come. In fact the longer I don't have a bad day, the more anxious I am about the next one turning dark.

Ok I'll stop rambling now. Thanks for listening. And keep on pushing through. It's definitely better sober. Definitely. If nothing else, just remember how good it feels waking up without a killer hangover. Cause it feels really f*@!ing good compared to how mornings used to feel.

ScooterBoo

Chris, I have caller ID, and I have programmed my cell phone so that my brother's call has a different ring tone. Unfortunately for me, I am the only one he is comfortable confiding in. When he had problems with depression in college, it was the same way. When I don't hear from him, I assume everything is fine. When he calls, I take a deep breath and answer. I try to follow your advice and just listen and reassure him that he has support.

I knew my s-i-l was ticked after I argued with her. My brother called after I got home to tell me none of her siblings would have acted the way I did, and that I would never have treated any of my other in-laws in that manner. I knew that did not sound like him, that she must have told him just what to say. I groveled. I sent a hand-written apology card, saying that I was so sorry, it was none of my business, I had no right butting into something - - basically I apologized for everything she accused me of. I have not been to Texas since, and she has not been here, although my brother comes a few times a year. I have not seen their three children since that Columbus Day weekend, 2011.

I thought my groveling apology had put an end to it. I thought she was over it; I had no idea she continuously harps on my brother about it, and that he is ready to call it quits, until he phoned me last week. They are starting marriage counseling next week. Obviously, she has issues. It is very important to her that she live in a gated community, that she drive a new Lexus, etc.

I do not for one minute believe I was so horrible that she has kept on about it for three years. I think she has problems.

I just wish I could be happy about my sobriety instead of so on-edge and worried about my brother.

Thanks for caring.

ScooterBoo

Apple, you have turned into our philosopher! I must admit I prefer your pizza quote!

Applekat

How about pizza....and a little Shawshank Redemption?! I love that movie and it's a quote from that movie.

ScooterBoo

1step, hang in there; you've got this. I think we all understand the self-pity. I certainly do.

determined, I LOVE our August Team and believe it has kept me sober.

Take care everyone, and remember "this, too, shall pass."

bblackbirdflyy

I love the crappy weather! I was actually a little put out the sun shining! Happy you made it through too!

bblackbirdflyy

Feel better knb!

Ultramarathoner

Finally home. Consistent with the alcohol related events on the trip, I saw a man performing DWI tests on the side of the highway as I was driving home.

Great work hanging in there everyone. And Scooter- let's hope the marriage therapist can give some peace and clarity to the situation.

calichris

Scooter, if I may throw this out there.... I believe you can hold these two feeling mutually exclusively. In other words, sure you can feel worried about your brother that just means you care. But you can ALSO be happy about your sobriety. Both are your truths right now you don't have to decide between the two. You are a great person who deserves a great sober life. God bless you.

Good night Team August. Have to wake up at 5am tomorrow. Love you all and talk tomorrow, Chris

glandon

Doing, thanks for checking in, and it so does sound like you are doing good. Hopefully your days don't "turn dark"!

Since you are doing OK, you probably have some good advice and encouragement for some of us who struggle occasionally. I am sure we'd appreciate it.

pinklinzangel

Hey, penkins, check in, getting worried. Xx

sthlondonab

Morning all

I am going easy on myself today and starting a little later at work. I have been dropping the levels of sleep, so picking that back up.

Last night I had a drink dream, so I am on watch today. It wasn't a warm and rosy pub scene, it was me having drink hidden in a pint of diet coke with friends watching TV. I didn't drink it but it was beside me and ready too. Hmm, weird.

Today is going to be a good one! I plan to relax a little more at work and not let things get to me today. I have to do some business drinks later, informal, but I will leave them at 7pm and go to AA.

Have a great day everyone :-)