One Year & Under Club Part 32
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Aliso Viejo, CA
Posts: 863
Originally Posted by Gilmer 
Siesta, I'm sorry to hear about your stepdaughter's not doing any better. She doesn't sound as if she's in a place where you and your husband can help; however, it would be good to send her little humor e-mails and headlines, just to keep your foot in the door with her. Keep sending small, occasional messages that you care and keep her in mind. Someday when she hits bottom she may appreciate your simple, unconditional kindness.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Toots sounds like you've been pretty busy!
Else what a trip we had kinda similar dreams. Hopefully no more tonight!
Siesta hope one day your SD realizes you guys arnt the enemy and are there to help.
Work was dead slow and left a couple hours early. Really wasn't feeling like being there. This week kinda feeling like I don't really want to interact or have to talk to anyone. Super tired too just wanting to sleep a lot.
Else what a trip we had kinda similar dreams. Hopefully no more tonight!
Siesta hope one day your SD realizes you guys arnt the enemy and are there to help.
Work was dead slow and left a couple hours early. Really wasn't feeling like being there. This week kinda feeling like I don't really want to interact or have to talk to anyone. Super tired too just wanting to sleep a lot.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,047
Another blockbuster day in soberland. Today I turned down an offer of a bonus of about 10% of my annual salary in exchange for a very small job of work, on the grounds that the work wouldn't contribute anything of value and therefore would waste my time and make me feel bad. 
I've heard a lot of people in AA in NYC say that they make less money sober. Gotta love them gifts of sobriety!
I've heard a lot of people in AA in NYC say that they make less money sober. Gotta love them gifts of sobriety!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,183
Courage, I'm with Gilmer about your Soberland decision yesterday. Sometimes making less money offers more time for, ummm, let me think, happy. How about this little AA nugget, "My best thinking is what landed me here." 
BF, even though you aren't taking the test for a bit, are you studying? Sorry, two daughters, old habits die slowly with me.
Siesta, phew, what a relief. I figured you would understand. It was Toot, oops, I mean others that concerned me.
Toots, I hope that you had an enjoyable visit with your SR buddy!!
Happy 5 months, TL. Congrats on 4 weeks, LTV.
Have a fun and productive day, Undies.
BF, even though you aren't taking the test for a bit, are you studying? Sorry, two daughters, old habits die slowly with me.
Siesta, phew, what a relief. I figured you would understand. It was Toot, oops, I mean others that concerned me.
Toots, I hope that you had an enjoyable visit with your SR buddy!!
Happy 5 months, TL. Congrats on 4 weeks, LTV.
Have a fun and productive day, Undies.
No quitting on yer quit eh!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,879
Good morning my friends! I don't know how an old fella like me is supposed to keep up with all the goings on here, but I try, and will add my two cents when I figure it's worth it lol. To all of you, I read all the posts and realize we share so many things in common, and because of that, the help and support offered is so valuable to me! Just reading the posts let's me know that I'm not some abnormal idiot and that I'm not alone on this journey!
Siesta, my Bubba has to contend with 4 step children, 3 daughters and a son from my previous marriage. At first I think it was a bit overwhelming for her, but as time went on and they began to accept her for who she is, and that no matter what they did or wanted, she would always be a part of their lives! Our second oldest daughter said something a few years ago that brought tears to my eyes, she told me that Irene was the best thing that ever happened to me! Now, looking back, there are so many things I should be grateful for, a loving, understanding bride, 4 great children, a great job, many fantastic friends, and now, sobriety! Our youngest daughter was only 11 when Bubba and I got together, I'm sure she went out of her way to make Bubba feel unwelcomed, continuous comments on how things used to be when we were a "family" thinking in her mind that it would make Irene leave and I go back with my ex. Now, Ashley and Bubba are as close as any "real" mother and daughter can be!
And on that note, Ashley finishes her Master's in Forensic Psychology the end of June and will be leaving DC and moving back to Alberta! We are so proud of her!!
Let's all have a productive day my friends, and remember, take time to stop and smell the roses!
Siesta, my Bubba has to contend with 4 step children, 3 daughters and a son from my previous marriage. At first I think it was a bit overwhelming for her, but as time went on and they began to accept her for who she is, and that no matter what they did or wanted, she would always be a part of their lives! Our second oldest daughter said something a few years ago that brought tears to my eyes, she told me that Irene was the best thing that ever happened to me! Now, looking back, there are so many things I should be grateful for, a loving, understanding bride, 4 great children, a great job, many fantastic friends, and now, sobriety! Our youngest daughter was only 11 when Bubba and I got together, I'm sure she went out of her way to make Bubba feel unwelcomed, continuous comments on how things used to be when we were a "family" thinking in her mind that it would make Irene leave and I go back with my ex. Now, Ashley and Bubba are as close as any "real" mother and daughter can be!
And on that note, Ashley finishes her Master's in Forensic Psychology the end of June and will be leaving DC and moving back to Alberta! We are so proud of her!!
Let's all have a productive day my friends, and remember, take time to stop and smell the roses!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Aliso Viejo, CA
Posts: 863
Cowboy,
What a great post. I'm with you about keeping up with this thread. I love that I can always count on it to be full of great advice.
Thanks for the stepparent advice. My stepson and I have a great relationship but I was a lot more involved with him at a younger age. With my stepdaughter she's always said that I'm not her mom. Totally understandable and hopefully she'll come around. Currently she is couch surfing in another state with some drug addicted boy at her side. Popping in and out of her mom's place and wreaking havoc at their house. I wish we could just hit the fast forward button to the time when everyone is telling me she'll grow out of this. On a daily basis though we are just hoping that she is safe.
Feeling very grateful for sobriety these days. Now is the first time we haven't had a child in our home and I think it's giving us more time to reflect. Our health is good, jobs are thriving, and we live in a beautiful little town. We took time out yesterday to go lay at the beach before hubby heads out on a long 10 day work trip. It was nice to just be still and appreciate what we have and have worked so hard for. All of this would have been lost without sobriety.
What a great post. I'm with you about keeping up with this thread. I love that I can always count on it to be full of great advice.
Thanks for the stepparent advice. My stepson and I have a great relationship but I was a lot more involved with him at a younger age. With my stepdaughter she's always said that I'm not her mom. Totally understandable and hopefully she'll come around. Currently she is couch surfing in another state with some drug addicted boy at her side. Popping in and out of her mom's place and wreaking havoc at their house. I wish we could just hit the fast forward button to the time when everyone is telling me she'll grow out of this. On a daily basis though we are just hoping that she is safe.
Feeling very grateful for sobriety these days. Now is the first time we haven't had a child in our home and I think it's giving us more time to reflect. Our health is good, jobs are thriving, and we live in a beautiful little town. We took time out yesterday to go lay at the beach before hubby heads out on a long 10 day work trip. It was nice to just be still and appreciate what we have and have worked so hard for. All of this would have been lost without sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: SF Bay Area, CA
Posts: 33,532
Hi all!
Just checking in. Doing chores and staying on my diet. I lost 6 pounds, so it's motivation to keep going. Funny how quitting drinking, drugs, cigarettes gave me an excuse to eat anything I thought of, but I suppose that's normal. Now I'm determined to get off the weight I've gained, sometimes on hour at a time. It's hard, but I really want to feel more comfortable in my own skin.
Have a great day. Love the posts, the thoughts, suggestions, humor and everything else on this thread! Aly xxoo
Just checking in. Doing chores and staying on my diet. I lost 6 pounds, so it's motivation to keep going. Funny how quitting drinking, drugs, cigarettes gave me an excuse to eat anything I thought of, but I suppose that's normal. Now I'm determined to get off the weight I've gained, sometimes on hour at a time. It's hard, but I really want to feel more comfortable in my own skin.
Have a great day. Love the posts, the thoughts, suggestions, humor and everything else on this thread! Aly xxoo
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Aly - Congrats on your weight loss. I've always had a sweet tooth. The way I got through the first 6-8 weeks of sobriety by eating tons of sweets and lying on the couch. Thankfully it was winter in Connecticut, which meant bulky layers. Haha. As the weeks pass, I'm relying more on myself, and cutting back on the snacks. Progress.
Courage - Well done saying no to a work opportunity that didn't fit your interests or needs.
Toots - I'm glad to hear you've been eating your way through the big easy. Thanks for the discussion about anxiety. It hits close.
Cowboy, Siesta, Babs - I don't have step children but I am one and, man, I was a muddled up wreck when I was a teenager. I love GrandmaGilmer's suggestion on how to keep a foot in the door. Siesta, I'm glad that with the kids out if the house you're finding time for recreation and pleasure with your hubby. (Carlos, nothing to see here. Keep reading, you dirty birdie.)
GG - how is baby Eli?
Dottie - What's shaking? How's work? Have you gone on any dates lately?
BoozeFree - I hope you're feeling better, and that those headaches and belly aches didn't turn into a full blown illness or virus. I have days where I feel completely "off." That's normal for a day or two here and there, but when it lingers, it can mean that I have to look at how I'm spending my time. Are you having fun? Are you doing things to restore yourself after a long day at work?
Let's see, I finished reading Codependent No More and I've moved on to the ACoA literature. My parents didn't drink alcoholically but they raised me in a very dysfunctional environment. I've been posting on the acoa steps threads on the friends and family section here. It's dredged up some memories which have been sort of free floating in my mind, leaving me feeling a bit melancholy. I decided it was time to start the fourth step. (I found directions on the internet). Wow. Wow. Wow. The patterns and trends of my pain, resentments, mistreatment of others, and fear are astounding. It was stunning to realize that I've been building my life with broken bricks all these years. Now comes the hard part, learning how to let it go.
I hope all are well. Time to rouse my little friends from their rest time.
Courage - Well done saying no to a work opportunity that didn't fit your interests or needs.
Toots - I'm glad to hear you've been eating your way through the big easy. Thanks for the discussion about anxiety. It hits close.
Cowboy, Siesta, Babs - I don't have step children but I am one and, man, I was a muddled up wreck when I was a teenager. I love GrandmaGilmer's suggestion on how to keep a foot in the door. Siesta, I'm glad that with the kids out if the house you're finding time for recreation and pleasure with your hubby. (Carlos, nothing to see here. Keep reading, you dirty birdie.)
GG - how is baby Eli?
Dottie - What's shaking? How's work? Have you gone on any dates lately?
BoozeFree - I hope you're feeling better, and that those headaches and belly aches didn't turn into a full blown illness or virus. I have days where I feel completely "off." That's normal for a day or two here and there, but when it lingers, it can mean that I have to look at how I'm spending my time. Are you having fun? Are you doing things to restore yourself after a long day at work?
Let's see, I finished reading Codependent No More and I've moved on to the ACoA literature. My parents didn't drink alcoholically but they raised me in a very dysfunctional environment. I've been posting on the acoa steps threads on the friends and family section here. It's dredged up some memories which have been sort of free floating in my mind, leaving me feeling a bit melancholy. I decided it was time to start the fourth step. (I found directions on the internet). Wow. Wow. Wow. The patterns and trends of my pain, resentments, mistreatment of others, and fear are astounding. It was stunning to realize that I've been building my life with broken bricks all these years. Now comes the hard part, learning how to let it go.
I hope all are well. Time to rouse my little friends from their rest time.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Baby Eli is great, GF! Mom is doing well, too. Daddy has taken off from work for two weeks to help her out around the house. My husband just drove through a nearby town, and they're having a festival with lots of little kiddie rides. Maybe daddy can take big sister there tomorrow and give Mommy a real rest!
Wow, forensics psychology, Cowboy! What an utterly cool specialty!
Wow, forensics psychology, Cowboy! What an utterly cool specialty!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Hi undies.
Left work early again. Just haven't been feeling it at all. I let my sister talk me into going out to run some errands with her but I've quickly been reminded how much I hate being out around a bunch of people mainly due to me being so insecure feeling. Sitting in the car waiting while she's in a couple stores looking for an outfit. I think I'm realizing I've got to find a way to stop hating myself so much and of corse I always want changes to happen immediately even tho I know that's not how it works.
Left work early again. Just haven't been feeling it at all. I let my sister talk me into going out to run some errands with her but I've quickly been reminded how much I hate being out around a bunch of people mainly due to me being so insecure feeling. Sitting in the car waiting while she's in a couple stores looking for an outfit. I think I'm realizing I've got to find a way to stop hating myself so much and of corse I always want changes to happen immediately even tho I know that's not how it works.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
((BF)). I think lots of us who drink or use feel uncomfortable in our skin but don't know why. You have identified why you're uncomfortable, which is a great breakthrough. The important thing now is to seize upon this insight and do the work to see the wonderful person you are, to realize the gifts you uniquely offer the world. Take Toots' advice and slowly and deliberately press past your comfort zone. Listen to Courage and treat yourself tenderly. And do as Carlos recommends and keep studying. Do you see a therapist? Go to AA? Meditate? Keep a journal? Any or all of these methods will keep you moving forward. I'm so excited for you BF. We're all behind you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,183
Hey BF, I think you are pretty amazing! You have made such incredible progress over these past months. I think if we do this sobriety thing right, with humility and gratitude, that it just follows suite that we are one of the last to realize how amazing we are, and our lives are becoming.
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