Class of May 2014
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 64
Go May class! I'm here and glad to be sober. A few thoughts have to come to mind as I read people's stories and thoughts.
Moderation: the dream of every alcoholic. I feel I've come to terms with the fact that I can't moderate my drinking. I've gotten sober for a good stretch, returned to 'moderate' drinking, and come full circle into daily binging at least 6 times. Each time I do this, the binging period lasts a little longer and it gets harder to stop. I will never be able to moderate but that's okay. There's a lot to do in life that doesn't involve drinking and the things that do involve drinking can be done sober.
Brasa, you mentioned getting back into taking care of yourself. I'm feeling the same way During my drinking, I've hardly been keeping up with exercise and various other looking-good behaviors. It does feel good to start being healthy again, lifting weights, running, and all that. I think taking good care of yourself is the best thing we can do for ourselves in early recovery. When I get a craving, I just assume it's nervous energy, strap on my shoes, grab the dog, and run until I can't run anymore.
I'm rooting for all of you. We can all do this and a happy life is waiting for all of you.
Moderation: the dream of every alcoholic. I feel I've come to terms with the fact that I can't moderate my drinking. I've gotten sober for a good stretch, returned to 'moderate' drinking, and come full circle into daily binging at least 6 times. Each time I do this, the binging period lasts a little longer and it gets harder to stop. I will never be able to moderate but that's okay. There's a lot to do in life that doesn't involve drinking and the things that do involve drinking can be done sober.
Brasa, you mentioned getting back into taking care of yourself. I'm feeling the same way During my drinking, I've hardly been keeping up with exercise and various other looking-good behaviors. It does feel good to start being healthy again, lifting weights, running, and all that. I think taking good care of yourself is the best thing we can do for ourselves in early recovery. When I get a craving, I just assume it's nervous energy, strap on my shoes, grab the dog, and run until I can't run anymore.
I'm rooting for all of you. We can all do this and a happy life is waiting for all of you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 66
DreamingDog, my next goal as I'm improving my overall energy and health is to go back to my exercise routine. I don't I'm ready yet, but I'd love to do a 5K. I'm more of a walker, but I've wanted to complete at least a 5k. I once started a couch to 5k training, but ended up mostly walking the event.
Funny you mentioning exercising... Just yesterday I was thinking if to calm my addictive personality I should find a healthy activity to get "high", like exercising, or working more hours, or crafting...
Yet best is moderation so I might just get busy with all the above without obsessing with anyone in particular.
Funny you mentioning exercising... Just yesterday I was thinking if to calm my addictive personality I should find a healthy activity to get "high", like exercising, or working more hours, or crafting...
Yet best is moderation so I might just get busy with all the above without obsessing with anyone in particular.
Diez de Mayan
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: The Hinterlands
Posts: 109
Hi all,
Just finished my first day sober. I've been on again, off again for many many years. I am too old to keep drinking and trying to walk straight while I walk my dog is embarrassing! I've been in AA since 1987. I've had many periods of long-term sobriety. The longest was 4 1/2 years. My denial keeps kicking in though. Also I get really depressed and drink to handle the pain. I just started therapy which is helping somewhat with addressing underlying issues.
Hope you guys all stay with me on our journey. I was in class of 2009 for a few months then everyone dropped by the wayside including me.
So it being cinco de mayo and all, the thought of a few sombreros crossed my mind. But I got two avocados and some tortilla chips and made guacamole instead!
Just finished my first day sober. I've been on again, off again for many many years. I am too old to keep drinking and trying to walk straight while I walk my dog is embarrassing! I've been in AA since 1987. I've had many periods of long-term sobriety. The longest was 4 1/2 years. My denial keeps kicking in though. Also I get really depressed and drink to handle the pain. I just started therapy which is helping somewhat with addressing underlying issues.
Hope you guys all stay with me on our journey. I was in class of 2009 for a few months then everyone dropped by the wayside including me.
So it being cinco de mayo and all, the thought of a few sombreros crossed my mind. But I got two avocados and some tortilla chips and made guacamole instead!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 64
Hey TT. I'm like you in that I keep falling off the wagon after extended periods of sobriety. My longest stretch sober since about age 15 has been just shy of 2 years. I'm 28 now.
Stick around and hang out with us. SR has a lot of great and supportive people that have weathered the storms of sobriety. Thanks for posting.
Stick around and hang out with us. SR has a lot of great and supportive people that have weathered the storms of sobriety. Thanks for posting.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 64
Brasa, I think it's totally fine to exercise a lot. Before I started drinking again, I exercised 5 days a week and then would go do active stuff on the weekend like hiking or biking. I didn't ever consider myself to be overdoing it. I was in good shape and felt great. Being active is just who I am and I lost that part of myself when I started drinking again. The feeling after a good run is pretty great. It definitely serves as a good positive reinforcement for healthy behavior.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 74
Am I too late to tag along for May? Might need some support. What's ridiculous is I feel amazing when I am not drinking...so why do I bother? Ridiculous. I am taking the time to work on ME, and apparently that means no more booze because its slowly killing me. Its no fun anymore. Thanks to anyone who understands. Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 625
Hi all,
Today was day 1 for me and it was astonishingly productive. I confronted daunting tasks only to find out they weren't so bad and I really enjoyed my work.
I truly do not get anything done when I'm drinking, even if I'm on a "moderate" day. Can't work or clean. And if those things go, my sanity goes. And forget about exercise!
I have yet to get that one done. But, baby steps. I accomplished a lot today so I'm really proud of myself.
But I was very hungry!
Ilya
Today was day 1 for me and it was astonishingly productive. I confronted daunting tasks only to find out they weren't so bad and I really enjoyed my work.
I truly do not get anything done when I'm drinking, even if I'm on a "moderate" day. Can't work or clean. And if those things go, my sanity goes. And forget about exercise!
I have yet to get that one done. But, baby steps. I accomplished a lot today so I'm really proud of myself.
But I was very hungry!
Ilya
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 464
Dee, I love the quote about the inner fight. After a good go with sobriety in late 2013/early 2014 I fed the bad wolf 
And he became viscous quickly! It didn't take long for me to realize I was on a very slippery slope. If I keep feeding the bad wolf I'll lose it all.
For a long time I was a weekend binge drinker. After time I started tacking on Thursday nights on. With this last go round I was buying beer on Sundays, Wednesdays, and ALWAYS Thu -Sat. I stopped eating well, stopped working out. My head space was full of that inner fight described so well with Dee's quote.
So I am here to fight the fight. Woke up to Day3 this morning.
Remember, One Day at a Time. Recommit every morning. There is a 24 Hour check in in the Newcomers Daily Thread. I highly recommend using the thread as a place to reaffirm your desire to quit every single day.
The mistake I made last go around was I became complacent in my recovery. I stopped doing the work. I know that in order to be successful in my recovery that I can never stop my program.
I say all of this to kindly ask if I may join the May 2014 group?
And he became viscous quickly! It didn't take long for me to realize I was on a very slippery slope. If I keep feeding the bad wolf I'll lose it all. For a long time I was a weekend binge drinker. After time I started tacking on Thursday nights on. With this last go round I was buying beer on Sundays, Wednesdays, and ALWAYS Thu -Sat. I stopped eating well, stopped working out. My head space was full of that inner fight described so well with Dee's quote.
So I am here to fight the fight. Woke up to Day3 this morning.
Remember, One Day at a Time. Recommit every morning. There is a 24 Hour check in in the Newcomers Daily Thread. I highly recommend using the thread as a place to reaffirm your desire to quit every single day.
The mistake I made last go around was I became complacent in my recovery. I stopped doing the work. I know that in order to be successful in my recovery that I can never stop my program.
I say all of this to kindly ask if I may join the May 2014 group?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 464
bananacake - do you have a plan for tonight? It's good you know your triggers because you can be ready for them. Be sure to have a good dinner and a pile of chocolate on hand!! 
I've found that when we are hungry/thirsty hard cravings will hit. Feed the hunger and thirst with food and water. The craving will pass, I promise!
Good luck tonight
I've found that when we are hungry/thirsty hard cravings will hit. Feed the hunger and thirst with food and water. The craving will pass, I promise!Good luck tonight
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 64
Welcome to everyone that's recently joined the May class. It's great to have all of you here.
Just checking in. Having some coffee. Watching the news. Feeling good sober and not hungover.
I look forward to hearing more about everyone and their story. Have a great day, folks!
Just checking in. Having some coffee. Watching the news. Feeling good sober and not hungover.
I look forward to hearing more about everyone and their story. Have a great day, folks!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 64
I was just wondering about something and wanted to ask y'all what you thought.
Do you ever replay memories of past hurts and pains in your head? I was doing that last night as I laid in my bed trying to get to sleep. The past hurts are always related to something some other person said or did to me. A stranger blowing up at me, a loved one insulting me, etc. It's like I keep these memories locked up well during the day and when I lay down to sleep, they come back very vividly. I always ruminate on them, get angry all over again, and feel like I should have stood up for myself more.
Do y'all ever do that? Any thoughts on what to make of it? Any ideas on how to put this emotional baggage to rest? I think these angry/hurtful thoughts are a big source of why I drank. I need some new skills.
Thanks for reading.
Do you ever replay memories of past hurts and pains in your head? I was doing that last night as I laid in my bed trying to get to sleep. The past hurts are always related to something some other person said or did to me. A stranger blowing up at me, a loved one insulting me, etc. It's like I keep these memories locked up well during the day and when I lay down to sleep, they come back very vividly. I always ruminate on them, get angry all over again, and feel like I should have stood up for myself more.
Do y'all ever do that? Any thoughts on what to make of it? Any ideas on how to put this emotional baggage to rest? I think these angry/hurtful thoughts are a big source of why I drank. I need some new skills.
Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 625
DreamingDog,
Oooooh yes! Especially in my early early days a couple of months ago. I lost so much rest because of replaying these terrible memories. Obsessing.
Lots of kind folks here at SR talked me down repeatedly when I careened into a negative thought spiral.
I will tell you, I found that as my recovery progressed, it was so much easier to say "no" to this process.
I'm sorry you're experiencing this, as I'm sure you know how useless reliving these things is. I think I time will come soon when you can remember something, even a painful memory, and think about it from the outside rather that feeling out of control and immersed.
Alcohol really affected how I experienced perspective.
Oooooh yes! Especially in my early early days a couple of months ago. I lost so much rest because of replaying these terrible memories. Obsessing.
Lots of kind folks here at SR talked me down repeatedly when I careened into a negative thought spiral.
I will tell you, I found that as my recovery progressed, it was so much easier to say "no" to this process.
I'm sorry you're experiencing this, as I'm sure you know how useless reliving these things is. I think I time will come soon when you can remember something, even a painful memory, and think about it from the outside rather that feeling out of control and immersed.
Alcohol really affected how I experienced perspective.
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