Class of April 2014 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
Originally Posted by DancingDiva 
The "why" that I really want to know is why I would decide to do that? Why would I select the most horrible and toxic way to spend a Friday night? I could see if I thought I could moderate, had one, and oops it turned into ten. But this feels different - this is an incredible urge to purposefully self-destruct. I'm not depressed and I love my life (except this part, of course). It really just seems like the most bizarre, illogical thing.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
Congratulations on your review, MrG. That must feel really good.
Hi Dollpart. I'm glad you chose the meeting instead. Good job.
I'm glad you got a bit of a break today ChickChick. I hope you got some rest.
Hi Dollpart. I'm glad you chose the meeting instead. Good job.
I'm glad you got a bit of a break today ChickChick. I hope you got some rest.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Originally Posted by Adnamaeel
Izzy, I think one of the hardest things for addicts and alcoholics to let go of is instant gratification. We're so used to being able to change how we feel at will, that we lose sight of the fact that most things don't happen as quickly. I definitely relate to wanting to have all the answers right now. Patience is hard... I think you're smart to realize that moving forward means doing things differently, and I admire how you're seeking it out. You'll have all of your answers in time, meanwhile you're doing great!
Grateful, your plan for today sounds just about perfect. I hope you enjoy it. I love your weekend intentions.
Grateful, your plan for today sounds just about perfect. I hope you enjoy it. I love your weekend intentions.
How was your day?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: SE USA
Posts: 941
Congratulations all on our accomplishments this week! I love DD's quote: "I'm too good to poison myself anymore!" - that is what has carried me through today even when my AV was going nuts.
Headed to bed. Very tired tonight, but sober! Whoop Whoop! Thank you all for your inspiring and thoughtful posts.
Pan
Headed to bed. Very tired tonight, but sober! Whoop Whoop! Thank you all for your inspiring and thoughtful posts.
Pan
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Hi Everyone....Glad to be home & "settled" in for a sober Friday night. 11 days today & have really been feeling pretty content...which is nice for a change (something I've been praying for...contentment). I've really noticed in the posts here this week the ups & downs of these early days & probably even as we move along...that is just life, so I am taking those moments of contentment & enjoying it. Am going to keep this short tonight..Going to "chill" watching some movies with my Son tonight.....Got to hold my sweet new Grandson this evening & racecars with my other darling boy. Blessed I am & so glad to be sober.
Love ya All
Love ya All
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
... just checking in this sober middle of the night .
There's a couple big owls hooting back and forth as I type. I think they scare up some dinner that way.
About 10 months ago, we moved from a city by the beach down south to a small farm town in the Midwest. I have not met even one friend. I feel isolated. The people here are not friendly toward me. I feel like they don't want us here. We get the stink eye regularly because we drive a KIA with out of state tags. I keep asking my husband to please get them changed. I try to hide my southern accent. I cringe every time I get IDd when I buy alcohol because they see my out of state license and start asking questions.My son went from being an honor roll student consistently through elementary schools we were at before to borderline failing the 5th grade here.
. Oh , Soliliquy,
I'm so glad you're part of this Class.
My heart goes out to you, ...That can be a culture shock , but it may turnout to be a wonderful experience also.
Like Kittenme expressed , it may seem initially like,.... a more reserved approach,
but I found them a sweet caring bunch,...
I don't know if you would be opposed to going to a church, . ..from what I've read , and know of people moving into a small rural community, ..that's one of a few ways to integrate yourself, and family. You , of course , as a nondrinker, ...will be wonderful.
<I say this as a nontheist , who's a past member of our local Unitarian fellowship, .... and,.. intend to be back soon!! >
It'll be plus , ..... folks will think , at the PTA meeting "oh . that Mrs Soliliquy, she must be one of those Southern Baptist, maybe a Pentacostal ....you know she doesn't drink !?"
They'll be hopeful , maybe you'll share a tent revival story , or two.
And grateful someone would willingly leave a Coastal Paradise to come share their harsh winters. It'll reassure them things aren't as bad, ( or cold ) as they sometimes seem.
Relatives who've moved to San Diego , and Southern Florida , are a bit of a lingering sore spot, ....already
All , kidding aside , please don't hide your beautiful accent , ...that's nearly impossible , no matter how hard you try.
I was checking in a guy the other night with the coolest , over-the-top accent , from Boston. he sounded like a character out of - The Departed- or Good Will Hunting. Had to ask his wife if she was from Boston too. , ...she was , but had more of , what I think of as a Midwest accent . Accents are the best !?! , Scottish , Liverpool, and those dang Aussie accents !!!, ......
Most important thing , by far, , is too do what you're doing. Not taking that first sip of wine. The support here is so strong. Please keep posting.
I've found that I could only drink "in the present" ...so , it was nice to learn I didn't have to worry about drinking tomorrow, next week , or any Holiday, since they weren't here yet. When they arrived , then it would be "the present " ....,,,,and since I don't drink in the present , ..it shouldn't be an issue.
As I think of it ,......if I could just carry that line of thinking into other areas , !!
I tend to worry , ...way too much
..... This Class is awesome !!
Y'all keep a smile on my face ,,,....a little light hearted humor infused on a very serious , and sometimes difficult journey.
I'm so grateful for everyone here ,, ....
There's a couple big owls hooting back and forth as I type. I think they scare up some dinner that way.
Originally Posted by Soliloquy
About 10 months ago, we moved from a city by the beach down south to a small farm town in the Midwest. I have not met even one friend. I feel isolated. The people here are not friendly toward me. I feel like they don't want us here. We get the stink eye regularly because we drive a KIA with out of state tags. I keep asking my husband to please get them changed. I try to hide my southern accent. I cringe every time I get IDd when I buy alcohol because they see my out of state license and start asking questions.My son went from being an honor roll student consistently through elementary schools we were at before to borderline failing the 5th grade here.
.
I'm so glad you're part of this Class.
My heart goes out to you, ...That can be a culture shock , but it may turnout to be a wonderful experience also.
Like Kittenme expressed , it may seem initially like,.... a more reserved approach,
but I found them a sweet caring bunch,...
I don't know if you would be opposed to going to a church, . ..from what I've read , and know of people moving into a small rural community, ..that's one of a few ways to integrate yourself, and family. You , of course , as a nondrinker, ...will be wonderful.
<I say this as a nontheist , who's a past member of our local Unitarian fellowship, .... and,.. intend to be back soon!! >
It'll be plus , ..... folks will think , at the PTA meeting "oh . that Mrs Soliliquy, she must be one of those Southern Baptist, maybe a Pentacostal ....you know she doesn't drink !?"
They'll be hopeful , maybe you'll share a tent revival story , or two.
And grateful someone would willingly leave a Coastal Paradise to come share their harsh winters. It'll reassure them things aren't as bad, ( or cold ) as they sometimes seem.
Relatives who've moved to San Diego , and Southern Florida , are a bit of a lingering sore spot, ....already
All , kidding aside , please don't hide your beautiful accent , ...that's nearly impossible , no matter how hard you try.
I was checking in a guy the other night with the coolest , over-the-top accent , from Boston. he sounded like a character out of - The Departed- or Good Will Hunting. Had to ask his wife if she was from Boston too. , ...she was , but had more of , what I think of as a Midwest accent . Accents are the best !?! , Scottish , Liverpool, and those dang Aussie accents !!!, ......
Most important thing , by far, , is too do what you're doing. Not taking that first sip of wine. The support here is so strong. Please keep posting.
I've found that I could only drink "in the present" ...so , it was nice to learn I didn't have to worry about drinking tomorrow, next week , or any Holiday, since they weren't here yet. When they arrived , then it would be "the present " ....,,,,and since I don't drink in the present , ..it shouldn't be an issue.
As I think of it ,......if I could just carry that line of thinking into other areas , !!
I tend to worry , ...way too much
..... This Class is awesome !!
Y'all keep a smile on my face ,,,....a little light hearted humor infused on a very serious , and sometimes difficult journey.
I'm so grateful for everyone here ,, ....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Hi all, just checking in on a very wet saturday morning. Feeling great. This morning wokeup and found myself contemplating my future, thinking over various possible options and aspirations, some bit wayward, others really exciting. Alcohol is now no longer part of my present or future, and that alone seems to open up so many more opportunities. After all, I'll have the energy, the commitment, the health, vitality and the money to do pretty much anything - wow, what a great way to wake up.
Topspin, I absolutely love what you said about not drinking in the present moment, and therefore not having to think about past of future. Just being a person who never drinks in the present. Brilliant.
I'm confidently taking my turn with today's sober baton!
Thank you to everyone, you're all so inspiring to me.
Topspin, I absolutely love what you said about not drinking in the present moment, and therefore not having to think about past of future. Just being a person who never drinks in the present. Brilliant.
I'm confidently taking my turn with today's sober baton!
Thank you to everyone, you're all so inspiring to me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 181
Good morning! It's about 5:30 AM here and I'm awake, which is beyond weird to me. Probably because I was exhausted and passed out at like 7:30 last night. I guess all that lousy sleep must have finally caught up with me.
Day 15. Hope we all have a fun and sober Saturday!
Day 15. Hope we all have a fun and sober Saturday!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Goodmorning everyone
Hope everyone is hanging in. Wasn't able to post a lot yesterday, work was busy and I had some other life issues going on (nonsense tho)
Day 17 and I'm feeling stable still (let's see how long this lasts lol)
The books suggested to me have been great thank you!
Hope everyone is hanging in. Wasn't able to post a lot yesterday, work was busy and I had some other life issues going on (nonsense tho)
Day 17 and I'm feeling stable still (let's see how long this lasts lol)
The books suggested to me have been great thank you!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: SE USA
Posts: 941
Good morning all, A restless night of sleep with some crazy dreams about parties on ferries, I am looking forward to today. It is beautiful here in North Carolina after a huge bout of storms last night which took down a tree in out front yard (and the power on our block). I have a party to go to tonight (hence, likely the dream), which I am hosting for work and therefore I can't get out of...strangely enough - right now, I am now too worried about it as I am feeling absolutely no desire to drink...almost the opposite, I am fearlessly guarding my 5 days and absolutely do not want to start over as that initial decision to quit and follow through was difficult (not sure exactly how I managed to make it, to be honest). Given that I have yet to discover the secret sauce to sobriety, I can not go back. I have never been much of a sweet tooth, so the goobers, raisinettes (sp?), chocolate thing doesn't do it for me - however, I have been eating/craving dried mangos, which is pretty funny. Definitely not a normal part of my taste profile! Thank you all for your posts, they are helpful to read throughout the day whenever I needed support or reminding of the path we are on. Take care, Happy Sober Saturday, Pan
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Good day every one. I hope everyone made it through last night fine. I have to admit last night was not fun for me. I was home alone and bored, the AV wasn't really bugging me but I realized that one of my triggers is boredom, so maybe the AV was just trying to be slick. I resisted so I won. 
I am on day 14 and have no plans on looking back.
I am on day 14 and have no plans on looking back.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Originally Posted by Adnamaeel
Diva, I think that's the million dollar question. I made a conscious decision to self destruct. I had been using opiates to deal with life for a while, but I actually had some level of control over it. I hadn't become dependent on them yet, going without didn't make me sick. I went from being able to walk away to being a full on addict in a matter of seconds. It's really hard to explain, I knew exactly what I was doing as I crossed that line, but I did it anyway. It's a really big why. I don't know if it's entirely attributable to the AV, if some of us are just wired for self destruction, or what, but I think your question leads right to the heart of the nature of addiction.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 3,233
Good morning all! I've been up for a couple of hours and have been what my Grampsy calls "bright eyed and bushy tailed", lol... I think if my hubby was awake I would be annoying him with how happy I am this morning!
I have really been enjoying meditating in the morning before my house wakes up. Is anyone else doing the free Oprah and Deepak meditations? If not you should check them out. Today during my meditation I realized sobriety HAS to be my #1 priority. I used to think that was unfair to my husband, kids, family and friends... or maybe I was just scared to make that my #1. But it hit me like a meteor had struck me in the head this morning that sobriety has to be #1 so that I can take care of the other priorities, and if sobriety isn't first place than alcohol always will be! wow.... I feel like that is a huge breakthrough for me. I know that won't stop AV from tempting me later today or tomorrow, but I think me realizing that is a huge step in me never drinking again.
Topspin - you crack me up, I loved your post to soliloquy!
Freein - I'm glad your up feeling good about the day like I am! Keep it up!
kitten- Its good you finally got some sleep! Congrats on day 15!
ST - Day 17 is fantastic! I hope you keep feeling stable, I think that is a wonderful thing this early in sobriety. I feel like my moods are bouncing around quite a bit throughout the day, but I don't expect much more at this point.
Pan - Your dreams sound wild, lol. I'll be thinking about you tonight as you are at your party, stay strong! One of my sons adores dried mango slices so we always have quite a few on hand in the house.
Screwed - I'm sorry last night wasn't fun... I hope tonight is better. Day 14 is awesome, congrats!!
Newbies and the rest of you I didn't get to I am happy you all are here and hope you are doing well. Stay strong!
Have a wonderful sober Saturday everyone!!
I have really been enjoying meditating in the morning before my house wakes up. Is anyone else doing the free Oprah and Deepak meditations? If not you should check them out. Today during my meditation I realized sobriety HAS to be my #1 priority. I used to think that was unfair to my husband, kids, family and friends... or maybe I was just scared to make that my #1. But it hit me like a meteor had struck me in the head this morning that sobriety has to be #1 so that I can take care of the other priorities, and if sobriety isn't first place than alcohol always will be! wow.... I feel like that is a huge breakthrough for me. I know that won't stop AV from tempting me later today or tomorrow, but I think me realizing that is a huge step in me never drinking again.
Topspin - you crack me up, I loved your post to soliloquy!
Freein - I'm glad your up feeling good about the day like I am! Keep it up!
kitten- Its good you finally got some sleep! Congrats on day 15!
ST - Day 17 is fantastic! I hope you keep feeling stable, I think that is a wonderful thing this early in sobriety. I feel like my moods are bouncing around quite a bit throughout the day, but I don't expect much more at this point.
Pan - Your dreams sound wild, lol. I'll be thinking about you tonight as you are at your party, stay strong! One of my sons adores dried mango slices so we always have quite a few on hand in the house.
Screwed - I'm sorry last night wasn't fun... I hope tonight is better. Day 14 is awesome, congrats!!
Newbies and the rest of you I didn't get to I am happy you all are here and hope you are doing well. Stay strong!
Have a wonderful sober Saturday everyone!!
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Up at 6:30 on a rainy Saturday morning. I have not used Meth in over 15 years, but had "using" dreams last night that were very vivid & long. Not sure where that came from, but feel a bit exhausted from it this morning & feel kinda "yuck" just having dreamed about it.
Nice to sit here with my coffee & know I don't have to go to work. Will be taking my son out to his school for pre ball game warmup, then will go do my power walk & sprint some hills then to the weight room for a workout before heading back to ball field for another double header. Exercise has become somewhat of an addiction for me over the last couple of years....a little obsessive about it....but it won't kill me & is a great help with my anxiety. Working out with weights is very empowering & there has never been one time that I have completed a workout & said "I wish I wouldn't have done that".
Congratulations to all who woke up with another day of sobriety & those that are struggling....start again & move forward. Don't let the "monster" pull you down. I know how hard the anxiety can be for many of us, but I know too that for me, most of the anxiety I have experienced is a direct result of my drinking. Seems that lessons more & more with another sober day. Wishing you all a great sober day
Nice to sit here with my coffee & know I don't have to go to work. Will be taking my son out to his school for pre ball game warmup, then will go do my power walk & sprint some hills then to the weight room for a workout before heading back to ball field for another double header. Exercise has become somewhat of an addiction for me over the last couple of years....a little obsessive about it....but it won't kill me & is a great help with my anxiety. Working out with weights is very empowering & there has never been one time that I have completed a workout & said "I wish I wouldn't have done that".
Congratulations to all who woke up with another day of sobriety & those that are struggling....start again & move forward. Don't let the "monster" pull you down. I know how hard the anxiety can be for many of us, but I know too that for me, most of the anxiety I have experienced is a direct result of my drinking. Seems that lessons more & more with another sober day. Wishing you all a great sober day
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 3,233
Sorry you had a cruddy night Mariah! Sounds like you have a lot to keep you busy today! Reading about your workout makes me feel like I've had one myself! lol. I know what you mean about never regretting a workout, maybe I'll get one in today myself. 
Thanks for inspiring me. Have a wonderful day!!
Thanks for inspiring me. Have a wonderful day!!
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