JL2014

Holy sh--. My wife's parents house burned. They barely got out. You can't make this crap up.

DoubleDragons

Wow, JL. I am so happy that they escaped intact. This must all be very shocking for all concerned, though. Juju ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dee74

I'm so sorry JL. I'm really glad everyone is ok tho.
How are you handling all of this?

D

trudgingagain

Wow, JL....so glad your parents are safe! Great to hear you are making it through all of this crap and staying sober. You are not praying to yourself....really, don't you believe that there is SOMETHING out there bigger than you? That's all it takes Bllr, glad to hear your daughter will be staying in state. Both of mine did and it was really nice to be able to see them (not to mention saving the cost of out-of-state tuition!). They were far away from home enough, though, to experience a different kind of life. One has even moved, as an adult, to Sta. Barbara, where she went to college. Waaaay better than the suburbs of L.A. ! Well, Appeal to the President is done and sent. Filing for Wrongful termination due to Breach of Contract, Breach of Covenant of Good Faith and Fair Dealing, (compensatory damages), and Slander per se, Negligence, wanton misconduct for failure to follow established University Policies (punitive damages). Will be contacting an attorney today, since I am so sure that the President will deny the appeal (not having the authority to provide this compensation....and to tow the line with the "Good ol boys"). I am sure that I will be headed to arbitration, but that is fine with me. I KNOW I am right on this one....and....even if I LOSE....what am I losing? I am not making any $$$ now, anyway, since the Provost officially terminated me. So, who cares? I talked to my sister, who is an attorney, yesterday. She referred me to a Wrongful Termination attorney in LA who is a friend of hers.....so, that is my mission for today! Semana Santa (Holy Week) is over, so the crowds should be gone, or at least REALLY diminishing. Looking forward to a MUCH more relaxing week ahead! BTW....hubby is doing great! Feeling MUCH better, drinking smoothies and going to get some protein powder today

Bilr44

JL, sorry to hear about your wife's parents. Things can be replaced, people can't. As bad as things are, it could have been worse. Prayers coming your way.

LittleSparrow

JL, I'm so very sorry to hear about your wife's parents' house. The important thing is that they got out. Man, you're going through a lot. You're being so strong by not drinking, though. You WILL get through all this. I'm sending you lots of positive energy. Know that we are here for you, so vent away as needed.

reflection

JL - sending you positive thoughts during this tough time. Lean on us.

fishoutawatta

All,

Thanks for the good Easter wishes. 'Twas a VERY busy weekend!
Bilr, good to hear the college decision is behind. FSU is a fine school.
JL -- wow, that's really hard to work with, but I'm glad (like the others) that your parents are okay. Still a great shock!
Trudging -- all the best dealing with the university!

Keepin' on keepin' on!

Fishy

Bilr44

I'm meeting a friend from Pennsylvania in Palm Beach tomorrow night. He is traveling for business and it has been almost 2 years since we last saw each other. He knows that I have quit but he is not a big drinker at all. It should be fun getting together over dinner.

JL2014

Not keeping it together. Not staying sober, everybody's out of their mind. I can't find a decent job. Feel like it's all squeezing me by the throat.

Dee74

Is drinking making that feeling better or worse, tho JL?

For me drinking was never dealing with stuff, drinking was running away. Then I'd feel guilty and ashamed because I was running away, not solving any problems, and letting the people I loved down....and so I'd drink more and the cycle spiralled.

At least when we're sober we have a chance to change things JL.

The only changes that happened to me when I was drinking were for the worse.

D

DoubleDragons

I am hurting for you, JL, but I know what Dee says is true. I react to things in my life so much more calmly and rationally now that I am sober. Being sober does make life easier. It doesn't take away the hard times, but it makes the hard times seem so much more manageable.

Bilr44

JL, If everyone else is out of their minds maybe they need you to keep it together. Things will always happen all around us and dealing with these things sober will help. I was a total negative mess while drinking and I'm sure it is only adding to your problems.

LittleSparrow

I can only echo what Dee, DD, and Bilr said best, JL. Drinking won't help anything. It masks things, sure, but everything is still going to be there and you need to keep it together to get through all this. Drinking isn't going to help you find a better job. You can do this with a clear head. You might not believe that you can do it, but the rest of the Tobers know you can. You're here, and that shows you're strong (maybe stronger than you know).

JL2014

Thank y'all. Think I'm gonna try to see a therapist or counselor; something. Things are too crazy and scary, and I feel terrible, like I'm sick or something. Know something's wrong and I just can't get my junk together. I really suck at watching my 9 month old, when I feel rotten(had him pushed off on me since the fire). My wife is the self appointed savior for the 6 ppl who lost everything in the fire. It's just nuts. Gonna do my best not to drink today. Don't really care, but still feeling like I don't need to.

fishoutawatta

JL - a therapist can be a great help in times of crisis. Someone who hears and sees, but with different eyes & ears. They can also help suggest small things that can move you forward when the big sh*t in your life seems to conspire to hold you back. It's a great realization that you've made to look for that kind of help. Do it!

That said, we're here, too!

Fishy

LittleSparrow

JL, I highly recommend seeing a therapist. If you try one and don't think you're getting anything out of it, try another. I went through some major depression and, to be honest, my therapist may be the only reason I'm here today (well, maybe her and the meds I take). Talking to someone who isn't directly involved can help take away the mental and physical weight of depression or anxiety. And a lot of them have a sliding scale for payment, which should make it a little easier on you. You have a lot going on right now so it makes sense that you're stressed, but if it's too much to handle, I think seeking help from the pros (doctor, therapist) is the best thing you can do. And it's completely valid. Depression can happen when things are bad, when things are good, when you're young, old, in between. You don't have to deal with it by yourself. Hopefully knowing that will help you feel a little better.

Dee74

I think counselling could really help JL.

D

reflection

JL - I agree with the counseling suggestion, as well. Being able to talk to a non-involved party who can help you get some perspective is very helpful.

DoubleDragons

My experience in therapy was excellent! I highly recommend it.