Class of October 2013 - Part 11
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
So glad to hear from you JL! Hang with the winners 
You are in good company, here with us 'Tobers! Well, the saga continues....step-mom calls yesterday afternoon....she says first, "Well, if you are coming out here anyway, we can find someplace for you to sleep. May not be a bedroom. Too many people here right now" I call her back and said "I am coming for YOU. No other reason to come now, but I care about you and am concerned" Response: "Well, ....let me talk to hubby then and call you back". She does, and says, "Can you come for Aug 1-6 when caregiver must attend a wedding? BUT....now, no car available for you to drive while here, since hubby is driving." So I would have to rent a car..... WHAT?! "Sure", I say.....THEN....9:30 last night (our time) ....8:30 CA time she calls frantic....how soon can I get there?! Caregiver wants to have Sundays off.....huh?? Long story longer, when I was there in March, I connected her with an agency that provides home caregivers (for her). Well, she ended up basically screwing the agency by stealing the caregiver who is now living in full-time, the agency is pissed (as well they should be) and now the live-in has her over a barrel and she has no "back-up". Soooooo...at first (last night) I told her I could get there as soon as the 6th.....she said "Great...come, I will help you in anyway I can." After sleeping on it, the 6th is Monday, with Sunday already passed, so why am I going to make myself crazy, drop everything here, to go there, when, truthfully, she can wait until NEXT Sunday? So, gonna call her this morning, will go out this week....rent a car to get to her place, drop it off there and see what happens....Meanwhile, I am going to take care of my own stuff here first, AND then there. Since I don't land at LAX until almost midnight, I am going to stay at a local hotel near my house, make some doctor/dentist appts. for the following morning and, following traffic....head out to her house...about 2-3 hours away. ENOUGH, I say!
You are in good company, here with us 'Tobers! Well, the saga continues....step-mom calls yesterday afternoon....she says first, "Well, if you are coming out here anyway, we can find someplace for you to sleep. May not be a bedroom. Too many people here right now" I call her back and said "I am coming for YOU. No other reason to come now, but I care about you and am concerned" Response: "Well, ....let me talk to hubby then and call you back". She does, and says, "Can you come for Aug 1-6 when caregiver must attend a wedding? BUT....now, no car available for you to drive while here, since hubby is driving." So I would have to rent a car..... WHAT?! "Sure", I say.....THEN....9:30 last night (our time) ....8:30 CA time she calls frantic....how soon can I get there?! Caregiver wants to have Sundays off.....huh?? Long story longer, when I was there in March, I connected her with an agency that provides home caregivers (for her). Well, she ended up basically screwing the agency by stealing the caregiver who is now living in full-time, the agency is pissed (as well they should be) and now the live-in has her over a barrel and she has no "back-up". Soooooo...at first (last night) I told her I could get there as soon as the 6th.....she said "Great...come, I will help you in anyway I can." After sleeping on it, the 6th is Monday, with Sunday already passed, so why am I going to make myself crazy, drop everything here, to go there, when, truthfully, she can wait until NEXT Sunday? So, gonna call her this morning, will go out this week....rent a car to get to her place, drop it off there and see what happens....Meanwhile, I am going to take care of my own stuff here first, AND then there. Since I don't land at LAX until almost midnight, I am going to stay at a local hotel near my house, make some doctor/dentist appts. for the following morning and, following traffic....head out to her house...about 2-3 hours away. ENOUGH, I say!
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 358
JL - so glad to hear from you! In the beginning I replaced the alcohol with other sugary sweets. It was the only way to battle the cravings. Once they subsided a bit I was able to get my sh&t together and start eating better too. I am down about 40 pounds since January (quit drinking in Oct). It will get easier. The daily obsession will become less intense. You just gotta make it there. You can do it!
Hugs, friend!
Hugs, friend!
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 358
DD - thanks for asking about me. Divorce is on hold for the moment. He is still here and we are trying to work through things. I think my stopping drinking was scary for him in the beginning. Big changes. Maybe I was going to leave him once I "fixed" myself. Stuff like that. Now he knows I am just trying to be a better person for myself and my kids. No ulterior motives. I am not overly hopeful but I love the guy and us being together and working things out is best for the kids so I will continue to try.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Good for you, Cyndi....yes, getting sober affects everyone in our lives and our relationships. In fact, when I was in AA, even though I was single at the time (initially) I did read the chapter....yes a whole chapter.....dedicated to "the wives". (Remember, AA was formed in the '30s so only men were drunks).....lol....and there is a lot to be said about the changes that the spouse has to go through when we "come to".
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Kansas City
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Originally Posted by JL2014 
I noticed I'm craving sweets, so I'm just indulging to get through this beginning. I have no idea how long it'll last.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 358
Originally Posted by trudgingagain
Good for you, Cyndi....yes, getting sober affects everyone in our lives and our relationships. In fact, when I was in AA, even though I was single at the time (initially) I did read the chapter....yes a whole chapter.....dedicated to "the wives". (Remember, AA was formed in the '30s so only men were drunks).....lol....and there is a lot to be said about the changes that the spouse has to go through when we "come to".
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
JL, Good to hear from you. I remember I couldn't get enough chocolate in the beginning. It didn't help that we had a Halloween party and had lots of left over chocolate. You don't crave the sweets when your drinking because your body converts the alcohol to sugar. It will slowly subside so you just have to hang in there.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: CO
Posts: 324
All,
Back from camping trip with dear son. A good time -- although not as fabulous as last time (fewer kids in the campground). But we had some good chats. (Fishing wasn't very good, either!)
JL- great to hear from you. We all travel our paths differently, with different jogs and turns. Knowing the destination, rather than paddling aimlessly (sorry for the mixed metaphor!), is a good part of getting there! You're on the right road.
Substituting sweets for alcohol . . . OH YEAH! I used to tell people that I wanted "non-fat" calories" -- so no chocolatey dessert, except for port/brandy. Now, I shift the other way, or should I say "weigh".
Carry on, Tobers!
Fishy
Back from camping trip with dear son. A good time -- although not as fabulous as last time (fewer kids in the campground). But we had some good chats. (Fishing wasn't very good, either!)
JL- great to hear from you. We all travel our paths differently, with different jogs and turns. Knowing the destination, rather than paddling aimlessly (sorry for the mixed metaphor!), is a good part of getting there! You're on the right road.
Substituting sweets for alcohol . . . OH YEAH! I used to tell people that I wanted "non-fat" calories" -- so no chocolatey dessert, except for port/brandy. Now, I shift the other way, or should I say "weigh".
Carry on, Tobers!
Fishy
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Glad you think so Cydi....I just hunted down my book and in the old 2nd edition it is chapter 8...starts on p. 104 ....maybe you can find it online.....might help.....JL....hard candy is your friend And....the cravings do go away....might think about a low carb/paleo kind of eating thing.....I know that, at least for me, in about a week or two, the cravings were really, really diminished. I always used to wonder how my mother could never eat/like desserts....hahaha! Now, I definitely know THAT answer.....one vice at a time.....that's my motto....lol. So, decision made. Booked flight to CA on Monday. Arrive late so will get a hotel for the night...see dentists/docs on Tues. and then head to my step-mom's. Not even telling my kids I will be there....we shall see what happens......Welcome back, fishy! Glad you had a good time!
And....the cravings do go away....might think about a low carb/paleo kind of eating thing.....I know that, at least for me, in about a week or two, the cravings were really, really diminished. I always used to wonder how my mother could never eat/like desserts....hahaha! Now, I definitely know THAT answer.....one vice at a time.....that's my motto....lol. So, decision made. Booked flight to CA on Monday. Arrive late so will get a hotel for the night...see dentists/docs on Tues. and then head to my step-mom's. Not even telling my kids I will be there....we shall see what happens......Welcome back, fishy! Glad you had a good time!
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Wow, Trudging, I wish I had your energy.
Cyndi, I am so happy to hear that things are working out well for your family. I do think there is a lot of wisdom in not making any major decisions in our first year of sobriety. My emotions still are a little out all over the map, although I am definitely well progressed from the first few months of "whackyville." (and I guess I have to figure in other factors such as middle age hormones and first child leaving the nest . . . )
Cyndi, I am so happy to hear that things are working out well for your family. I do think there is a lot of wisdom in not making any major decisions in our first year of sobriety. My emotions still are a little out all over the map, although I am definitely well progressed from the first few months of "whackyville."
(and I guess I have to figure in other factors such as middle age hormones and first child leaving the nest . . . )
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Fishy, welcome back.
My husband and two of my sons are fishing fanatics. The other day they spent from 5 a.m. to 6 p.m. on a boat fishing for tarpon. (with a small lunch break) Only one fish was entirely reeled in and two others got hooked but one broke the line and one got off of the hook. I have to admit, I don't get it. It is thrilling, but with a lot of boring in between and I don't have the patience. But I love their enthusiasm. Different strokes for different folks is what makes the world go 'round.
My husband and two of my sons are fishing fanatics. The other day they spent from 5 a.m. to 6 p.m. on a boat fishing for tarpon. (with a small lunch break) Only one fish was entirely reeled in and two others got hooked but one broke the line and one got off of the hook. I have to admit, I don't get it. It is thrilling, but with a lot of boring in between and I don't have the patience. But I love their enthusiasm. Different strokes for different folks is what makes the world go 'round.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Everyone fishes here, mainly a lot of locals for their own food....and then the tourists...We have gone out, twice I think. I only go for the boat ride....for me, I don't have the patience or desire, but I always go Energy is not really a choice, right now, DD....lol...gotta keep on going.....just like the Energizer bunny 
Energy is not really a choice, right now, DD....lol...gotta keep on going.....just like the Energizer bunny
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Join Date: Feb 2014
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---Heard a phrase today; " I'm not where I want to be, but I thank God that I'm not where I used to be !". Wanted to share. I'm having a weird time in the evenings ( when I would usually drink). I'm always exhausted from working long hrs, just feels weird because being drunk has become the "norm", unfortunately. That AINT normal ! Hahaha.
Happy to feel uncomfortable in that case, right?
Gnite Tobers
Happy to feel uncomfortable in that case, right?
Gnite Tobers
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Join Date: Oct 2013
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hahahaha! Billr,....well....at least SOMEONE is keeping tabs on me.....not sure how I feel about that...lol....Talk much?! Familiar with the phrase, JL....always glad to be reminded! Hope everyone is having a great 4th! Not celebrated here, BUT, tomorrow the President declared a NATIONAL HOLIDAY....businesses will be closed cuz Costa Rica is playing the Netherlands in the World cup.....jeez.....
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