LonelyShadow

Got back to the gym today and it felt amazing, as soon as I started lifting those dumbells I remembered that this is who I'm suppose to be, not a drunk. I find that strength training has been my best defence against alcohol, during my dry January I took it incredibly seriously and it was great to find my muscles were still there. For anyone thinking of things to fill their time when going sober, I'd recomend hitting the gym!

Dee74

Welcome to Samwich, Ilya, bobquin and anyone I've missed - and big congrats to everyone hitting a milestone today, no matter what it is

this is a great group

D

samwitch

Evening all.
I've been considering why I drink(or drank, I should say) and it is to numb out all the problems in my life.

But do I really? No, they are still there. I think drinking just keeps me from taking action to actually examine them and potentially solve them. And it also keeps me feeling bad about myself and not worthy of anything better than what i have.

And honestly, what I have is pretty damn good so I think I got sucked into a vortex of self pity and no self confidence from all this drinking. Sitting in front of the TV every night putting away a bottle of wine doesn't do much for one's confidence to solve problems.

Im just musing out loud here....

kleigh

Hi all! Nearing the end of Day 2 for me!

Samwitch, your post about examining why you drink inspired me to do the same. It's funny, because it seems like such an obvious thing to do...but I don't believe I ever have.

First, I am in a very competitive, fast-paced, all-engrossing medical program. This is definitely the most amount of stress I've ever been under, and I'm only halfway through. I have definitely noticed my nights of binge-drinking and blacking out have increased over these past two years.

I also think I drink so that I am able to freely say things that I would NEVER say when sober. I tend to always want to keep the peace and not ruffle any feathers, so I end up stuffing a lot of emotions and reactions down. From what others have told me, the things I blather on about when I'm drunk are the exact things I feel like I cannot say otherwise.

Sorry to hijack the thread, just wanted to write that down somewhere. I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend.

LonelyShadow

It's the end of day 2 for me too! Surprised I don't have more physical symptoms like shaking or sweating, but really feeling the insomnia.

kleigh and samwitch i'm with you 100% in that it's hard to actually know the reasons behind why we drink, I sometimes don't like to think about it because it starts bringing up old feelings for me and i have no idea how i'm supposed to deal with them because i used to just drink it all away until i stopped thinking at all. Glad everyone is still going strong, this site has been a huge help already!

Briggsy75

Hello Everyone,

Seems most are doing very well on their journey! Day 15 here, wowzers! I can't recall a 3-4 day weekend in the past 19-yrs where I didn't drink it away. Definitely have more time to do other things when I'm not focused on the suds.

Hope everyone has a great day.

newhope01

Just wanted to check-in with everyone. Been super busy with the wedding and I got drunk on Valentine's day. Just want to be honest and I am trying to focus on the fact that I had a good string of sober days there for awhile. No desire to drink at the moment.

Feeling ashamed but I wanted to be honest with you guys.

Dee74

welcome back newhope
not beating you up, but will you be doing anything different this time?

acceptance that we can't drink - even on romantic nights like Valentines Day - is a big thing to master...

D

SoberLeigh

Way to go, Briggsy.!!!!

SoberLeigh

Hang on tight to that "no desire to drink at the moment" moment; it's a keeper.!!!!

Ilya

I have something to admit. Although, I'm sure I'm not the only one who knows this...
I thoroughly enjoy drinking. I love diving into a glass of wine or cognac or grappa.
I am a snob. I have very good taste.
But I hate how I feel and how my body reacts.
I hate the dry times. I hate when I'm "dry" but "drinking" still, whatever you call that.
Some of my drinking buddies would suggest that I just never stop.
But I know from experience that stopping is really grand and I love how I feel and how in my own head I am. I miss that feeling.
I hope in just a few days I'll feel that way again.
In my quitting experience it takes about three days to start sleeping like a baby and thinking straight.

Dee74

I enjoyed drinking too Illya - I had a long run of being able to manage drinking copious amounts of booze on a regular basis and still be seen as a high achiever.

But I was eating at my soul - and before long that inner parasite that used to be only visible to us becomes obvious to everyone.

The way you feel when you stop? I think you feel good because you know, at least in that moment, you're free.

D

shi

but u hate how u feel afterwards. i would have the worst hangovers and nothing is done when hangovered, so dont thoroughly love something that makes u sick afterwards. i think of the hangovers and loose the desire to touch another drink. try that.

Ilya

I'm looking forward to it. I guess I thought I should post that I'm not in a zone where I hate the stuff.
God I wish I was one of those people who hate the taste. But I love that sharpness and the dryness and the fruit.
I'll be letting that go now.
It's good, I'm just commemorating it I guess?

Dee74

It's like an ex lover - you'll get over it Illya - and mostly likely perceive this relationship in a different light down the track, I think.

D

shi

this was my biggest problem and still is. what i have experienced is that drinking and insomia are one family. with refraining from alcohol, i got my sleep back but as soon as i relapsed, insomnia came right back. this has really helped me stay away from alcohol coz i love n need my sleep.

Ilya

Dee, I think that is a really good way of putting it. An ex lover. I don't mind recalling my exes and telling stories, and I also know I wouldn't try to rekindle anything with them. They are a part of my tapestry and I'm not going to pretend I hated it or that I did something wrong. This is my story. But I've decided to move on with it. Well without it actually lol

shi

I KNOW THE FEELING. that wanting the-buzz-feeling always would get me to touch the 1st drink. the problem is, 1 is too much 1000 never enough.. n the hangover after the BUZZ, ........... not worth it.

shi

u totally nailed it. thank u for reminding me of this.

shi

very true. im 39 and 14 days sober. have relapsed too many times coz i thought i can do it in moderation. the earlier you quit drinking, the better. im now in the phase of regret coz ive lost too much n starting over at 39 is harder than u can imagine especially when others your age group are way far ahead.