DoubleDragons

Tempe, you ARE one of us! I am just so happy that you came right back. I am fearful that if I have a slip, I'll be one of those people who just disappear. . . . and then slink back in a year with a much bigger problem to address. So, I appreciate you coming right back. It is inspiring!!

DoubleDragons

So my crazy parents tried to start something with me yesterday. My father was in the military for five years (not a lifer). I sent him a Veteran's Day card signed by my family. He texted me a thank you but then proceeded with a long winded text about how my mother should have been included because it was a team effort and she actually went through more hardship than he did. Bottom line, it was her crazy drinking antics that finally made me want to quit drinking alcohol, and they can't stand it. They feel judged and they are looking for ways to bring me down. This is a long standing pattern in my life. This is how I know this. Funny thing is, this all just strengthens my resolve. BTW, Happy Veterans' Day to all who served. (and your spouses!!!)

TempeBrenn

DEE. As to what I will do differently.
Not go down the Chardonnay isle of the store.
Buy more herbal tea.
Read on SR at happy hour time, not just early am or late pm.
Keep a journal and gratitude list (something I have not done yet).
Forgive myself, (not easy), but not forget how ashamed I feel and how poisonous alcohol is to my body...reminding myself that after all, all wine is, is alcohol with a pretty name.
To really think the drink thru all the way to the next morning and how I will feel. If I had done that last night, I would not be writing this.

Thanks for the support and may God give everyone serenity, courage and wisdom

Bilr44

DD, I understand where you are coming from. My mom constantly lays guilt trips on me. We've moved a few times and she's used my kids as part of the whole guilt thing. She will not call, and then when I break down and do call there is another guilt trip. I finally decided to just let it go because she will not change. I think you need to do the same because your sobriety is for you, and your husband and children should come first. I think our parents forget that we have bigger concerns of our own and that they should offer support and not criticism. The issue is that they are probably feeling guilty and want to bring us down to that level. I have vowed to support my kids through good and bad in the future and would want them to feel great about reaching out to me.

SoberMarathon

I watched this Bilr, a few months back when I was still drinking. It made me cringe also but I had the attitude that 'I'm not as bad as that guy', and just kept on drinking as per usual. I should probably watch it again now that I'm sober. Leaving Las Vegas and Clean and Sober are also on my 'to watch' list.

sicknote

Welcome to the group Raider! Hope your doing good

TempeBrenn, don't kick ya self up about it. Just dust yourself off and try again. Nothing worth doing is ever easy.

DoubleDragons - sorry to hear about your folks. It sounds frustrating!! I don't have a good relationship with mine, and they are always bringing me down also, so I know how frustrating it can really get! Don't let it get to you. I try my hardest to separate it in my head "what they think, is just what they think, it doesn't necessarily make it right, I must keep calm". This might be where the serenity prey comes in "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change".



I've seen the films 'Flight' and 'leaving Las Vegas', extreme alcoholism at it's worst, luckily I haven't got that bad!! Although there are unfortunately parts I relate to.

I really want to see 'thanks for sharing', which is about sex addiction not alcoholism, but it's about the 12 step program which would be interesting, but it's not out here in the UK yet.

I watched '28 days' at the weekend, which was good, Sandra Bullock plays a party girl that ends up in rehab, so it's more about early recovery than the drink


happy sober day people!

x

Bilr44

I was in denial and wouldn't watch these while drinking. I didn't need things to hit that close to home.

Driver1

Tempe, this is your group...your home base... where we support each other through thick and thin. Lord knows we are not perfect or we wouldn't be here in the first place, right?

If I ever slip I sure hope I have the courage to come back here (a day later no less Tempe) where I know my comrades will help me press the reset button.

Glad you are back. It wouldn't be the same without you.

EternalQ

Welcome back Tempe!

EternalQ

I haven't been able to watch any of those movies. And not because I'm in denial about how bad it was. I know more than anyone how truly horrible it was. I guess I've worked so hard to leave feelings of despair behind (about all that I lost during those years). I want to focus each day on leading the best life for me on that day, soberly. I don't want to resume my feelings of shame, humiliation and sorrow. For the same reason, I haven't read Drinking a Love Story though everyone raves about it. I don't know, but that's how I feel.

Driver1

That's the spirit Dolly. Proud of you.

Psych 101: dont give in or you only reinforce...But get ready for that extinction burst!!!

SoberMarathon

The movies and TV shows that I find it hard to watch now are the ones that revolve around drinking or constantly have the characters in a bar, throwing back beers. My wife and I started watching 'The League' when I was still drinking - group of guys that sit are always drinking, talking football, etc. Although I like some of the humor in the show, I find it tough to watch - I feel jealous of these fictional characters in a way. Hanging out with the guys and drinking beer was one of my favorite pastimes, if not most favorite - hence my alcoholism...you should never enjoy anything too much. All said, I'd rather distance myself from alcohol-centric entertainment, especially those where the characters are enjoying themselves so much.

Make any sense?

DoubleDragons

I think that was my biggest problem about ever addressing my drinking issues. I always found real people, or movie characters, or people in books who always seemed worse off that me, so they were alcoholics, I was not, in my mind.

countingdays

DD, I can so relate to the Veterans Day scenario with the folks. In fact, when I hung up the phone after wishing my Dad a happy Veteran's Day, the thought came into my head that I am now likely somehow in trouble with my step Mom for not including her despite the fact that she didn't serve and actually did not even know my Dad during his time in the service. Oh the insanity of it all.

Bilr44

The problem with showing people drinking on these shows, for the most part is that they rarely show any of the negative aspects. But hey, as long as the companies say "always drink responsibly", everything is okay.

DoubleDragons

So, my husband and I both had today off from work, but the kids still had school, so we had an amazing, fun date day. We didn't get home until after 6 pm (three of my kids are teenagers, so don't you be thinking that you need to be calling the authorities ) We capped the night off with an early seafood dinner out. I really started looking at the people at the bar. Everyone looked haggard and tired. No one was doing much talking and the drinks were going down fast. One guy got up to go to the bathroom and he was stumbling around. Quite a few were smoking. In short, I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything by not drinking. I had my cranberry and lime, my husband had iced tea and my husband was saying how much more he enjoys his food now without alcohol with dinner. He said that after a couple of beers, his stomach would be somewhat full and his senses would be dulled and food just didn't taste as good as it does now. I was telling him that from 5-7 on Friday and Saturday nights is about the only time that I really, really crave my wine now. However, once 7 pm passes, I am glad that I didn't drink and the craving is almost always gone. So 4 hours of uncomfortable feelings in the scheme of 168 hours a week seems completely worth going through when I reflect on all of the upside of sobriety! Night, night my dear friends. Thanks for commiserating on the parent front!! I can't tell you how much you all have helped me, not just from a sobriety viewpoint, but from a "reflections of Living a healthy life" viewpoint. I think you all are among the healthiest people I have ever "met"!!!

shay17

Hi all ! I've enjoyed reading all your posts and my sober date is October 5th, so I'd love to be part of this group!?

37 days today, feels good though last time I relapsed at day 39 -
it seems that I just need to get past that day to be in the clear somehow. It's a psychological thing that seems to happen around this time for me. I know it's been mentioned by a few other members who deal with the same thing..

Been lacking a luster the past couple days, feeling a bit uncomfortable in my skin. Maybe its been the extra ice cream I have been eating that now I've gained about 5-7 pounds, enough that all my pants are tight. That's enough to make anyone frustrated, eh? haha.

So thankful to be sober however, as I know for a fact this is just a phase and it will pass. It can only get better from here if I continue to make the choice to stay away from the poison that could kill me. I'll take a few blue days and the extra lbs ANY DAY over that.

WhoDey

Welcome Shay. I like ice cream too!

Bilr44

Yeah, I have to do better about sugar as well.

HDrosebud

As some of you know my husband still drinks. .tonight he said my time is coming soon when I need to stop drinking as well...I wanted to cry..that he is willing to do this as well..I am so proud. .I will not remember him of it but I know when he is ready it will happen..he leaves tomorrow for deer camp with several half gallons of whiskey with him. I know he is strong and he will be considering his drinking when he is gone

Welcome Shay