Class of September 2013 - Part 11
Perpetual Optimist
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by Renarde 
Off topic, but does anyone else have the phone app for SR? It's pretty great!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,070
Thanks for the kind words.
I actually only have one direct boss but I also have to report indirectly to his bosses. It is his superiors that decided that they didnt have confidence in me and wanted to let me go. As they wont replace my position, it is effectively a redundancy. I guess the writing was on the wall. I hated them and they, I guess, hated me ! The timing just sucks as I have a large financial burden which I need a job to service. Also, its the 3rd time in a row that I've lost my job due to a poor relationship with my superiors. Not brilliant for self esteem ! My boss is unhappy as it is beyond his control. He has been trying to save my role but in the end he couldn't overcome their viewpoints. Now I have to negotiate my redundancy or whatever you wish to call it, with my boss.
Lotsa fun....
Edit: dont worry, I dont want to drink. That aint gonna happen (I hope)
I actually only have one direct boss but I also have to report indirectly to his bosses. It is his superiors that decided that they didnt have confidence in me and wanted to let me go. As they wont replace my position, it is effectively a redundancy. I guess the writing was on the wall. I hated them and they, I guess, hated me ! The timing just sucks as I have a large financial burden which I need a job to service. Also, its the 3rd time in a row that I've lost my job due to a poor relationship with my superiors. Not brilliant for self esteem ! My boss is unhappy as it is beyond his control. He has been trying to save my role but in the end he couldn't overcome their viewpoints. Now I have to negotiate my redundancy or whatever you wish to call it, with my boss.
Lotsa fun....
Edit: dont worry, I dont want to drink. That aint gonna happen (I hope)
Perpetual Optimist
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by Renarde
I've been feeling nauseous and tired. I am feeling scared about this exposure tonight. Not much beyond that. Going to bed. Class starts up again tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,070
Renarde, keep marching on. You are giving me so much strength too!
Feeling up and down. I have that nauseous feeling of losing a job. Doesn't sit well. Also feel relieved that I dont have to put up with these twats though I would have preferred to leave on my terms. Oh well, I cant control that...
Feeling up and down. I have that nauseous feeling of losing a job. Doesn't sit well. Also feel relieved that I dont have to put up with these twats though I would have preferred to leave on my terms. Oh well, I cant control that...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Thanks guys! I think we have a bug running through the house. Both husband and I are nauseous and have been feeling weird for a day or two. Kiddo has randomly been complaining about tummy hurting and I think is getting over something.
Kaneda, what do you think your next move will be? What industry are you in?
I'm sad husband will be gone all week. He has been so comforting to me. Our marriage is on a different level these days. It's really nice.
How is everyone else tonight?
Kaneda, what do you think your next move will be? What industry are you in?
I'm sad husband will be gone all week. He has been so comforting to me. Our marriage is on a different level these days. It's really nice.
How is everyone else tonight?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 98
Guess it was an intervention, of sorts.....
I'm suppose to accept a 12 month treatment program, It's a little extreme. I can see a month, but a year? God My family are playing armchair and think I need to be around a bunch of **** like prison for a year.
In exchange I get out of my substantial financial problems. But thats bound to cause a big rift in my family.
But only if I go 12 months, its a lot to handle. I'm down **** creek, Absolutely no more money in the kitty. they have me over a barrel, unless I take control and sell and pay debt...homeless then .....and quite a lot of money from equity, last resort. They think I'm going to drink away the equity.
All this comes down today at breakfast.
Can I be so bad that I need a year in rehab? I don't think so.
I think it's overkill, I might talk them into a 30 day program instead, I cant see myself joining that cult for a year. I would be insane. I have free will, they think they know a thing or two about this, neither of them have drinking problems at all.
So the choice is loose your house, or loose your house and go to 12 month rehab or sell and go it on my own or rent while in rehab. I'm delighted at the options. Not.
I don't think i can handle rehab for a year, who the hell goes that long?
FML
I'm suppose to accept a 12 month treatment program, It's a little extreme. I can see a month, but a year? God My family are playing armchair and think I need to be around a bunch of **** like prison for a year.
In exchange I get out of my substantial financial problems. But thats bound to cause a big rift in my family.
But only if I go 12 months, its a lot to handle. I'm down **** creek, Absolutely no more money in the kitty. they have me over a barrel, unless I take control and sell and pay debt...homeless then .....and quite a lot of money from equity, last resort. They think I'm going to drink away the equity.
All this comes down today at breakfast.
Can I be so bad that I need a year in rehab? I don't think so.
I think it's overkill, I might talk them into a 30 day program instead, I cant see myself joining that cult for a year. I would be insane. I have free will, they think they know a thing or two about this, neither of them have drinking problems at all.
So the choice is loose your house, or loose your house and go to 12 month rehab or sell and go it on my own or rent while in rehab. I'm delighted at the options. Not.
I don't think i can handle rehab for a year, who the hell goes that long?
FML
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Go! Go go go go go. I haven't really responded to your posts before because I'm never sure what to say. This time I know exactly what to say - go to rehab! You need this more than anything in the world. You do need a year! Let go of all of the mess and turn everything around. This is the chance of a lifetime - so many people would give anything to go to rehab for a year, paid for, and have their financial problems taken care of. Pleeeeease go. I hate to be so blunt but i think you can handle it - I think your other choice will be death by the hand of your addiction, sooner or later. Please go! This is wonderful news for you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
And to answer your question - Who the hell goes to rehab for a year?
LUCKY addicts. Lucky addicts go for a year. So many times people go for a few weeks and don't get as much help as they need.
I really hope you go. You are tired of living this way. It's not sustainable. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
LUCKY addicts. Lucky addicts go for a year. So many times people go for a few weeks and don't get as much help as they need.
I really hope you go. You are tired of living this way. It's not sustainable. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Perpetual Optimist
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by Renarde
And to answer your question - Who the hell goes to rehab for a year? LUCKY addicts. Lucky addicts go for a year. So many times people go for a few weeks and don't get as much help as they need. I really hope you go. You are tired of living this way. It's not sustainable. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Spacestation,
It can be a fresh start. If you go, it should be your decision based on your desire to get better, rather than based on an agreement in a bargain for financial help.
Going willingly, with an open mind and an attitude focused on recovery may mean the difference between maintaining sobriety at the end of 12 months and walking out the door of the rehab center and straight into a liquor store.
Bottom line: even with all of the tools, resources, and support in the world, no one can make you stay sober but YOU.
Best wishes!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,070
Space
This is the first sober post I've read from you for a while. I cannot but agree with everyone else. Go and do the 12 month rehab. I do know an AA member that did 10 months rehab. He has never looked back since and it has been years. It was a gift.
You have everything to gain from this.
This is the first sober post I've read from you for a while. I cannot but agree with everyone else. Go and do the 12 month rehab. I do know an AA member that did 10 months rehab. He has never looked back since and it has been years. It was a gift.
You have everything to gain from this.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,070
Renarde
Take it easy and rest ! You've had a very traumatic and hectic month or so. Time to wind down a little ? Its good to see that you have an improved domestic situation. Treat it like gold !
AS for me, I am not sure what I will do next. I work in the online space though industry isnt so important as I run the numbers. Maybe I will go overseas again though that thought is very very frightening.
Take it easy and rest ! You've had a very traumatic and hectic month or so. Time to wind down a little ? Its good to see that you have an improved domestic situation. Treat it like gold !
AS for me, I am not sure what I will do next. I work in the online space though industry isnt so important as I run the numbers. Maybe I will go overseas again though that thought is very very frightening.
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Space - take the deal. It's a gift. Someday you are going to see it as such, but until then....just understand that people who need 12 months of rehab are people who are really, really ill.
The alternative is to spiral down an abyss of pain and suffering...and ruin (financial and otherwise).
The alternative is to spiral down an abyss of pain and suffering...and ruin (financial and otherwise).
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,189
Originally Posted by spacestation
Guess it was an intervention, of sorts.....
I'm suppose to accept a 12 month treatment program, It's a little extreme. I can see a month, but a year? God My family are playing armchair and think I need to be around a bunch of **** like prison for a year.
In exchange I get out of my substantial financial problems. But thats bound to cause a big rift in my family.
But only if I go 12 months, its a lot to handle. I'm down **** creek, Absolutely no more money in the kitty. they have me over a barrel, unless I take control and sell and pay debt...homeless then .....and quite a lot of money from equity, last resort. They think I'm going to drink away the equity.
All this comes down today at breakfast.
Can I be so bad that I need a year in rehab? I don't think so.
I think it's overkill, I might talk them into a 30 day program instead, I cant see myself joining that cult for a year. I would be insane. I have free will, they think they know a thing or two about this, neither of them have drinking problems at all.
So the choice is loose your house, or loose your house and go to 12 month rehab or sell and go it on my own or rent while in rehab. I'm delighted at the options. Not.
I don't think i can handle rehab for a year, who the hell goes that long?
FML
I'm suppose to accept a 12 month treatment program, It's a little extreme. I can see a month, but a year? God My family are playing armchair and think I need to be around a bunch of **** like prison for a year.
In exchange I get out of my substantial financial problems. But thats bound to cause a big rift in my family.
But only if I go 12 months, its a lot to handle. I'm down **** creek, Absolutely no more money in the kitty. they have me over a barrel, unless I take control and sell and pay debt...homeless then .....and quite a lot of money from equity, last resort. They think I'm going to drink away the equity.
All this comes down today at breakfast.
Can I be so bad that I need a year in rehab? I don't think so.
I think it's overkill, I might talk them into a 30 day program instead, I cant see myself joining that cult for a year. I would be insane. I have free will, they think they know a thing or two about this, neither of them have drinking problems at all.
So the choice is loose your house, or loose your house and go to 12 month rehab or sell and go it on my own or rent while in rehab. I'm delighted at the options. Not.
I don't think i can handle rehab for a year, who the hell goes that long?
FML
I'm not a member of this group. It's quite active and I glance it at times...not sleepy yet, tonight, so I popped in.
Anyway, my take on your post. It seems that you are being offered a gift that if taken seriously could change your life, possibly forever.
This is the only post of yours I ever read. I may be dead wrong here, but you don't seem ready to go to any extreme to remain sober. If you aren't, you won't.
One month, one year, ten years in rehab won't matter if your primary driver isn't the desire to stop drinking above all else. I'm vibing that your current attitude is doomed for failure, rehab or not.
Hey, this is just my opinion.
This may seem a bit negative...not true, When I did rehab years ago, I did it for "other" reasons. Total failure...for me. My mind was closed, I looked for faults, I was destined to fail...then I did. I came out of rehab with my wife and best friend of 25 years, fancy cars, great kids, very cool dog, big house, easy six figure job...etc. Since then I have lost almost everything...But I am free from the bondage of alcohol today, and soon the future will again look bright...already searching for some sober shades.
YOU CAN DO THIS...FOR YOURSELF...NOT FOR MONEY...AND WIN!!!
My very best in making the right decision.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: north hollywood, ca
Posts: 70
Just needed to introduce myself...I'm giving sobriety a chance and surrounded by triggers...I have to find a way out of my sick addicted mind to deal with my living arrangement...It sucks living with people that understand how to deal with a drunk better than a sober person...but that's my fault...when I've been living the majority time around them as a drunk person...I guess what Im trying to say is, that I feel miserable some days, and often just want to be left alone, (instead of being probed 18 hours of the day)...any advice???
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 225
Space take this opportunity, all the above advice seems to make sense. This is an amazing opportunity and could be the beginning of a new life for you.
Kaneda I'm so sorry to hear about the job. Perhaps there is a silver lining and you will find something better working with people you like. Try not to take it personally, if they haven't replaced you then it can't have been about you but maybe just the position became redundant?
Renarde I'm glad things are good with your husband. Be brave whilst he's away. Mine used to work away a lot and I remember that anxiety and drinking to help me sleep. Now he comes home every evening and often for lunch. Drives me bonkers!
Welcome Newme. Lots of support here, no probing just genuine concern, camaraderie and good advice
Kaneda I'm so sorry to hear about the job. Perhaps there is a silver lining and you will find something better working with people you like. Try not to take it personally, if they haven't replaced you then it can't have been about you but maybe just the position became redundant?
Renarde I'm glad things are good with your husband. Be brave whilst he's away. Mine used to work away a lot and I remember that anxiety and drinking to help me sleep. Now he comes home every evening and often for lunch. Drives me bonkers!
Welcome Newme. Lots of support here, no probing just genuine concern, camaraderie and good advice
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