Class of February 2013 Part 8
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: "In Every Climb and Place"
Posts: 549
Checking in Feb "rews." Sure glad it's Friday. Hope everyone is keeping it even and recovering from any highs or lows. Been feeling stronger of late. Doubled my run distance this morning, exercise really helps the edginess. Goals, goals, goals, anyone got any new goals? Trying to drop from 195 to 185 lbs. here...Wanting to break 90 on the golf course...all the while keeping my sobriety and God first ! Family, Family, Family. I'm thinking a work out routine will help with all of this. Trying to keep it simple, although trying is dying; how about doing? Have a great and sober day everyone
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 465
Good morning Februarians!!
Hope that everyone is doing well.
goose- In answer to your question, yes, I have a new goal. I too am returning to school. I've been inspired by our February friends, venus and liss. Thanks guys! I'm not sure what I'm doing yet, I simply plan on completing my undergraduate studies and enjoying the ride. I'll see where it takes me, and go from there. My degree will be in psychology. Glad to hear you are feeling stronger goose.
venus- Are you feeling better? Concussions can be frightening. I hope that you are taking it easy on yourself.
Yesterday was a very challenging day for me. I came very close to calling today my "day one".
This has scared the beschizzles out of me... Looking back, I did everything wrong, with the exception of not drinking. There was a stressful meeting in the morning, followed by time alone in a house that was much too hot, poor sleep the night before, kids are out of town, poor eating, not enough hydration....all sorts of things that I could have controlled better, and some that I needed to simple let "be". By the time I left for a dinner meeting, the thought of a nice cold glass of wine became an obsession. I thought "dammit!!! Why can't I have a nice drink at the end of my hard day? Why can't I be normal???" I was angry, and thought that maybe I could try the "moderation" thing that others try. After all, if I relapse, isn't that part of the journey? Then I considered the concept of "relapse"; all of the work it would take to control things, the anxiety that I don't miss, the wasted next day...or three..., the broken promises to myself, the ugly dark circles under my eyes, the crappy sleep, the fear of driving even days after drinking, etc.... It was too high of a price to pay.
I arrived at the restaurant and said to myself, "I am pissed". I was so angry that I could not have that glass of wine, but I knew that it wasn't an option for me. The "moderation" ship set sail years ago and I jumped overboard...I can never swim back. If I want the life I have been working so hard to build, I cannot touch alcohol, ever.
This morning I am feeling a lot better. It was a grueling experience, but a good one I guess, because I have learned a few things. First of all, I have strength. Secondly, I can tell myself "no" with authority, and trust that my decision is in my best interest. Lastly, I need to stay vigilant when it comes to self-care, and nurturing myself. Maybe this isn't just a sobriety thing. Maybe "normal" people tend to their needs to maintain their sense of normalcy. I was frustrated, lonely without my kids, undernourished, tired....all things that I could have tended to better. But I see this today, and I have learned some new lessons.
Thanks for letting me share this. It feels good to get it off my chest.
Best to you all today!!
Much love,
MV
Hope that everyone is doing well.
goose- In answer to your question, yes, I have a new goal. I too am returning to school. I've been inspired by our February friends, venus and liss. Thanks guys! I'm not sure what I'm doing yet, I simply plan on completing my undergraduate studies and enjoying the ride. I'll see where it takes me, and go from there. My degree will be in psychology. Glad to hear you are feeling stronger goose.
venus- Are you feeling better? Concussions can be frightening. I hope that you are taking it easy on yourself.
Yesterday was a very challenging day for me. I came very close to calling today my "day one".
This has scared the beschizzles out of me... Looking back, I did everything wrong, with the exception of not drinking. There was a stressful meeting in the morning, followed by time alone in a house that was much too hot, poor sleep the night before, kids are out of town, poor eating, not enough hydration....all sorts of things that I could have controlled better, and some that I needed to simple let "be". By the time I left for a dinner meeting, the thought of a nice cold glass of wine became an obsession. I thought "dammit!!! Why can't I have a nice drink at the end of my hard day? Why can't I be normal???" I was angry, and thought that maybe I could try the "moderation" thing that others try. After all, if I relapse, isn't that part of the journey? Then I considered the concept of "relapse"; all of the work it would take to control things, the anxiety that I don't miss, the wasted next day...or three..., the broken promises to myself, the ugly dark circles under my eyes, the crappy sleep, the fear of driving even days after drinking, etc.... It was too high of a price to pay.I arrived at the restaurant and said to myself, "I am pissed". I was so angry that I could not have that glass of wine, but I knew that it wasn't an option for me. The "moderation" ship set sail years ago and I jumped overboard...I can never swim back. If I want the life I have been working so hard to build, I cannot touch alcohol, ever.
This morning I am feeling a lot better. It was a grueling experience, but a good one I guess, because I have learned a few things. First of all, I have strength. Secondly, I can tell myself "no" with authority, and trust that my decision is in my best interest. Lastly, I need to stay vigilant when it comes to self-care, and nurturing myself. Maybe this isn't just a sobriety thing. Maybe "normal" people tend to their needs to maintain their sense of normalcy. I was frustrated, lonely without my kids, undernourished, tired....all things that I could have tended to better. But I see this today, and I have learned some new lessons.
Thanks for letting me share this. It feels good to get it off my chest.
Best to you all today!!
Much love,
MV
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,548
So glad you got through that Mvngon ~
You had a huge amount of challenges in one day, and not only did you make it, but you learned from it.
You have more powerful skills on board to cope next time....how good is that?
Congratulations re school....it's wonderful!!! Very, very happy for you.
To be honest, my head's not good.
It hurts....and someone just sent me a PM telling me that I don't sound like myself at the moment? That worries me.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
Love Venus xx
You had a huge amount of challenges in one day, and not only did you make it, but you learned from it.
You have more powerful skills on board to cope next time....how good is that?
Congratulations re school....it's wonderful!!! Very, very happy for you.
To be honest, my head's not good.
It hurts....and someone just sent me a PM telling me that I don't sound like myself at the moment? That worries me.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
Love Venus xx
LOL. You'll be fine Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,031
Originally Posted by Mvngon 
Good morning Februarians!!
Hope that everyone is doing well.
goose- In answer to your question, yes, I have a new goal. I too am returning to school. I've been inspired by our February friends, venus and liss. Thanks guys! I'm not sure what I'm doing yet, I simply plan on completing my undergraduate studies and enjoying the ride. I'll see where it takes me, and go from there. My degree will be in psychology. Glad to hear you are feeling stronger goose.
venus- Are you feeling better? Concussions can be frightening. I hope that you are taking it easy on yourself.
Yesterday was a very challenging day for me. I came very close to calling today my "day one". This has scared the beschizzles out of me... Looking back, I did everything wrong, with the exception of not drinking. There was a stressful meeting in the morning, followed by time alone in a house that was much too hot, poor sleep the night before, kids are out of town, poor eating, not enough hydration....all sorts of things that I could have controlled better, and some that I needed to simple let "be". By the time I left for a dinner meeting, the thought of a nice cold glass of wine became an obsession. I thought "dammit!!! Why can't I have a nice drink at the end of my hard day? Why can't I be normal???" I was angry, and thought that maybe I could try the "moderation" thing that others try. After all, if I relapse, isn't that part of the journey? Then I considered the concept of "relapse"; all of the work it would take to control things, the anxiety that I don't miss, the wasted next day...or three..., the broken promises to myself, the ugly dark circles under my eyes, the crappy sleep, the fear of driving even days after drinking, etc.... It was too high of a price to pay.
I arrived at the restaurant and said to myself, "I am pissed". I was so angry that I could not have that glass of wine, but I knew that it wasn't an option for me. The "moderation" ship set sail years ago and I jumped overboard...I can never swim back. If I want the life I have been working so hard to build, I cannot touch alcohol, ever.
This morning I am feeling a lot better. It was a grueling experience, but a good one I guess, because I have learned a few things. First of all, I have strength. Secondly, I can tell myself "no" with authority, and trust that my decision is in my best interest. Lastly, I need to stay vigilant when it comes to self-care, and nurturing myself. Maybe this isn't just a sobriety thing. Maybe "normal" people tend to their needs to maintain their sense of normalcy. I was frustrated, lonely without my kids, undernourished, tired....all things that I could have tended to better. But I see this today, and I have learned some new lessons.
Thanks for letting me share this. It feels good to get it off my chest.
Best to you all today!!
Much love,
MV
Hope that everyone is doing well.
goose- In answer to your question, yes, I have a new goal. I too am returning to school. I've been inspired by our February friends, venus and liss. Thanks guys! I'm not sure what I'm doing yet, I simply plan on completing my undergraduate studies and enjoying the ride. I'll see where it takes me, and go from there. My degree will be in psychology. Glad to hear you are feeling stronger goose.
venus- Are you feeling better? Concussions can be frightening. I hope that you are taking it easy on yourself.
Yesterday was a very challenging day for me. I came very close to calling today my "day one".
This has scared the beschizzles out of me... Looking back, I did everything wrong, with the exception of not drinking. There was a stressful meeting in the morning, followed by time alone in a house that was much too hot, poor sleep the night before, kids are out of town, poor eating, not enough hydration....all sorts of things that I could have controlled better, and some that I needed to simple let "be". By the time I left for a dinner meeting, the thought of a nice cold glass of wine became an obsession. I thought "dammit!!! Why can't I have a nice drink at the end of my hard day? Why can't I be normal???" I was angry, and thought that maybe I could try the "moderation" thing that others try. After all, if I relapse, isn't that part of the journey? Then I considered the concept of "relapse"; all of the work it would take to control things, the anxiety that I don't miss, the wasted next day...or three..., the broken promises to myself, the ugly dark circles under my eyes, the crappy sleep, the fear of driving even days after drinking, etc.... It was too high of a price to pay.I arrived at the restaurant and said to myself, "I am pissed". I was so angry that I could not have that glass of wine, but I knew that it wasn't an option for me. The "moderation" ship set sail years ago and I jumped overboard...I can never swim back. If I want the life I have been working so hard to build, I cannot touch alcohol, ever.
This morning I am feeling a lot better. It was a grueling experience, but a good one I guess, because I have learned a few things. First of all, I have strength. Secondly, I can tell myself "no" with authority, and trust that my decision is in my best interest. Lastly, I need to stay vigilant when it comes to self-care, and nurturing myself. Maybe this isn't just a sobriety thing. Maybe "normal" people tend to their needs to maintain their sense of normalcy. I was frustrated, lonely without my kids, undernourished, tired....all things that I could have tended to better. But I see this today, and I have learned some new lessons.
Thanks for letting me share this. It feels good to get it off my chest.
Best to you all today!!
Much love,
MV
had that feeling of awkward but just focus took kids home safe and warm and have loads to look forward to so keep your chin up god I get it we all do xxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,548
So much love to you liss....struggle street.
Boy I can relate to that this week....but just like Mvngon, you made it!!!!
Dee is so right....years of doing this with alcohol on board means that it takes some time to get used to doing it sober....
be proud of yourself.
I am way proud of you.
Love V xx
Boy I can relate to that this week....but just like Mvngon, you made it!!!!
Dee is so right....years of doing this with alcohol on board means that it takes some time to get used to doing it sober....
be proud of yourself.
I am way proud of you.
Love V xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,636
MV - Excited for you to go back to school! Glad that you made it through & thanks again for your post - all good reminders.
Liss, MV, Venus - I just realized this, but I'll be heading back to school this fall to finish a degree too. It was the plan before I stopped drinking. Excited we'll all be hitting the book together.
Venus - Wow, that is some bump! Glad that you got it checked. Hope you heal quickly!
I just got back to London from a lovely bday weekend in Bath & seeing Stonehenge & touring the Cottswolds. Now enjoying the summer evening on a roof top deck. Life is good.
Liss, MV, Venus - I just realized this, but I'll be heading back to school this fall to finish a degree too. It was the plan before I stopped drinking. Excited we'll all be hitting the book together.
Venus - Wow, that is some bump! Glad that you got it checked. Hope you heal quickly!
I just got back to London from a lovely bday weekend in Bath & seeing Stonehenge & touring the Cottswolds. Now enjoying the summer evening on a roof top deck. Life is good.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 465
Originally Posted by SereneEdition
MV - Excited for you to go back to school! Glad that you made it through & thanks again for your post - all good reminders.
Liss, MV, Venus - I just realized this, but I'll be heading back to school this fall to finish a degree too. It was the plan before I stopped drinking. Excited we'll all be hitting the book together.
Venus - Wow, that is some bump! Glad that you got it checked. Hope you heal quickly!
I just got back to London from a lovely bday weekend in Bath & seeing Stonehenge & touring the Cottswolds. Now enjoying the summer evening on a roof top deck. Life is good.
Liss, MV, Venus - I just realized this, but I'll be heading back to school this fall to finish a degree too. It was the plan before I stopped drinking. Excited we'll all be hitting the book together.
Venus - Wow, that is some bump! Glad that you got it checked. Hope you heal quickly!
I just got back to London from a lovely bday weekend in Bath & seeing Stonehenge & touring the Cottswolds. Now enjoying the summer evening on a roof top deck. Life is good.
Take care on your journeys!
Much love,
MV
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