Class of May 2012 part 21
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Thanks Dee. I'm off to therapy shortly...that should restore me to sanity pronto...and I'm pleased you're back to being a muppet by the way...not that I can't cope with change or anything you understand 
I will catch up with all your posts later my lovely friends. Love to you all xxx
I will catch up with all your posts later my lovely friends. Love to you all xxx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Jeni, tears do come. For me, that was part of my feelings coming back - those that I had suppressed for so many years. For me they were also tears for that little girl who was hurt so badly. I would "cradle her in my arms" when I felt that way so I ended up as both comforter and comforted. That phase, like the others, passed, too. It was part of my healing. It would pop in again now and then though hasn't in some years now. Somehow for me, doing that "attached" the tears in an appropriate way and helped with the healing. We're all different and for each of us the healing is unique though there are often common elements.
Try to remember that this will pass, too. It's ok to mourn.
Hugs,
Sass
Try to remember that this will pass, too. It's ok to mourn.
Hugs,
Sass
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Jeni, as you are going through this, at some level it's bringing up old stuff for me but in a very different way. It's no longer so painful and it helps me to realize how much I have healed. So your journey is helping me. From your attitude and determination, I have a very strong sense that you will come through this well. No, everything won't be perfect, but it will be a whole lot better than it was before and your life will be so much healthier and more real.
Loads of hugs to you for having the strength to do this difficult work!
Sass
Loads of hugs to you for having the strength to do this difficult work!
Sass
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Thankyou for your posts Sassy.
A more positive post from me you will be pleased to hear. I am tackling quite a few things at the same time at the mo...this time of year is the busiest at work with report writing and end of year assessments, new pupils joining the school and the drama of pupils and staff moving classes (the pupils are accepting this far easier than some of the staff I might add!). It is always the most stressful part of the year for me, and in my job now it seems doubly so as I'm managing everybody else's stress levels too!! With that and my Dad's illness and therapy which is really intense, I have really been pushed to the limits of what I can cope with.
But...the positive thing is...not once have I thought of a drink. It hasn't crossed my mind. And...I haven't smoked either (can't say I haven't thought of that one though)
I know it's hard at the moment. I know I'm stressed and teary most of the time. But...I'm so grateful that I've got the opportunity to put my past behind me now. Being sober means I can move forward, and I feel so different in the way I react to things. I'm not so scared of everything any more. And that feels like freedom!!
Anyway, H is cooking tonight. I've had a day doing reports and have just got back from the gym. Gonna curl up on the sofa and relax now.
Thankyou for being such amazingly brilliant friends to me xxx
A more positive post from me you will be pleased to hear. I am tackling quite a few things at the same time at the mo...this time of year is the busiest at work with report writing and end of year assessments, new pupils joining the school and the drama of pupils and staff moving classes (the pupils are accepting this far easier than some of the staff I might add!). It is always the most stressful part of the year for me, and in my job now it seems doubly so as I'm managing everybody else's stress levels too!! With that and my Dad's illness and therapy which is really intense, I have really been pushed to the limits of what I can cope with.
But...the positive thing is...not once have I thought of a drink. It hasn't crossed my mind. And...I haven't smoked either (can't say I haven't thought of that one though)
I know it's hard at the moment. I know I'm stressed and teary most of the time. But...I'm so grateful that I've got the opportunity to put my past behind me now. Being sober means I can move forward, and I feel so different in the way I react to things. I'm not so scared of everything any more. And that feels like freedom!!
Anyway, H is cooking tonight. I've had a day doing reports and have just got back from the gym. Gonna curl up on the sofa and relax now.
Thankyou for being such amazingly brilliant friends to me xxx
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Happy Sunday, my cherished boaters! Just finished up paying my bills online... one thing I can count on in life is that the bills keep on coming. 
Had a fun day at the horse racetrack yesterday with Mate Pach, his sister and friends. I cleaned up on every race, baby, yeah! Of course, my bets are always the minimum, safe bets, but I still ended walking away with a whopping 7 dollar profit, lol! Got a ways to go in retiring early on that kinda win. Also had fun letting loose a teensy little bit to allow my recovering MP to finally teach this Mammoth with four left paws how to dance. Now that we've started, I can't get away from those lessons with the dance master so easily. Something that makes MP really happy that we can share. Maybe finding a lasting common interest is the key in maintaining/enhancing our relationship? If so, I'm all in.
Thank you, Sas and Teacher Jeni for your advice on enjoying the moments and realizing that the "real me" has a calm, rational demeanor. I do feel more comfortable in stepping back to not overreact and take events as a whole, when possible. MP has an issue with anxiety which reared up as we entered the large racetrack to navigate the grounds and socialize. I discovered that I was able to help out in pointing our way around and facilitating our give-and-take conversations with the group, so that did assist in easing MP's nervousness. Score one for sober serenity.
Big hugs to you, Teacher Jeni. I love Sas's advice on being the comforter and comforted in imagining holding the "hurt little girl" self. Awesome!
Have a wonderful day, my beloved peeps. Love and hugs to all.
Had a fun day at the horse racetrack yesterday with Mate Pach, his sister and friends. I cleaned up on every race, baby, yeah! Of course, my bets are always the minimum, safe bets, but I still ended walking away with a whopping 7 dollar profit, lol! Got a ways to go in retiring early on that kinda win. Also had fun letting loose a teensy little bit to allow my recovering MP to finally teach this Mammoth with four left paws how to dance. Now that we've started, I can't get away from those lessons with the dance master so easily. Something that makes MP really happy that we can share. Maybe finding a lasting common interest is the key in maintaining/enhancing our relationship? If so, I'm all in.
Thank you, Sas and Teacher Jeni for your advice on enjoying the moments and realizing that the "real me" has a calm, rational demeanor. I do feel more comfortable in stepping back to not overreact and take events as a whole, when possible. MP has an issue with anxiety which reared up as we entered the large racetrack to navigate the grounds and socialize. I discovered that I was able to help out in pointing our way around and facilitating our give-and-take conversations with the group, so that did assist in easing MP's nervousness. Score one for sober serenity.
Big hugs to you, Teacher Jeni. I love Sas's advice on being the comforter and comforted in imagining holding the "hurt little girl" self. Awesome!
Have a wonderful day, my beloved peeps. Love and hugs to all.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Jeni, you sound tired but positive! Only good will come of not drinking or smoking. You are awesome!
FP, happy to hear you had a good time with MP at the racetrack! Love the "sober serenity". Being able to step back is a very valuable tool. Sometimes when I'm tired and cranky, I just react and I'm rarely happy with the way I did. I'm also working on trying not to kick myself about lapses in judgment. We are all human and life is about learning!
Hugs,
Sass
FP, happy to hear you had a good time with MP at the racetrack! Love the "sober serenity"
. Being able to step back is a very valuable tool. Sometimes when I'm tired and cranky, I just react and I'm rarely happy with the way I did. I'm also working on trying not to kick myself about lapses in judgment. We are all human and life is about learning!Hugs,
Sass
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Good Sunday evening everyone! I have had another nice weekend and I'm really pleased about it. I think I have slowed myself down a bit so I'm not always thinking about what's next or what should be now. That kind of thinking really gets me riled up. So I have felt a little calmer the last couple weekends. It's a different story during the work week with the extremely uncomfortable conditions, but I'm dealing. I've been reading a lot of photography blogs, which is fueling a real passion for it. I have to take it slowly though because classes, lens', and accessories are so expensive! Some day I will get around to posting a couple pics.
FP, I'm glad the racetrack was fun and you were able to help MP during anxieties. I remember wanting to mention that I have noticed I am a tiny bit reserved in my "excitement" about the good things going on in my life or the good things I'm planning. It felt similar to what you were describing a little ways back, so I really tried to think about it more. I think maybe the higher my excitement is, the more severe my devastation would be if the situation took a turn or didn't work out. Now, I know I'll have negative situations and negative feelings to deal with throughout my life, so I'm not actually trying to avoid them altogether. I think I may be trying to prevent the devastation from being so severe that I would crave a drink. Because the worst situations that I've had to deal with in the last year really made me want a drink and I don't want to be back to even that. Did that make sense? I'm not saying it's healthy, but I do think it is true in my case. I also do think some of it may be just a natural calming from sobriety and living better though. It's just probably so abnormal from us that it's easy to pick out.
Jeni, I admire you for plugging through all these difficult situations without a thought for a drink! I really hope things start falling into place for you soon. Have you considered getting the chest pains checked by a doctor just to make sure? Especially since you started an exercise program recently? I'm not telling you what to do. I just thought of the possible connection and would feel horrible if I didn't mention it.
HRB, I was so happy to read your post! Sounds like things are going well with you and it made my day! How great that your partner is going to go to therapy with you. I hope it's just the thing to send your relationship into bliss. Any pics from Disney?
Wehav, hope your work situation stays smooth sailing!
Tanja, Saskia, Babs, Dee, Aviva, Kitty, SJD, Emily, Shock, and everyone else, thinking of you too! Hope everyone is well. I feel like it's been a little quite here, but hopefully all for good reasons. I know I have been having a hard time being on here on my phone, especially in posting long posts, but I still pop in all the time and appreciate everyone's posts, even a quick hello
FP, I'm glad the racetrack was fun and you were able to help MP during anxieties. I remember wanting to mention that I have noticed I am a tiny bit reserved in my "excitement" about the good things going on in my life or the good things I'm planning. It felt similar to what you were describing a little ways back, so I really tried to think about it more. I think maybe the higher my excitement is, the more severe my devastation would be if the situation took a turn or didn't work out. Now, I know I'll have negative situations and negative feelings to deal with throughout my life, so I'm not actually trying to avoid them altogether. I think I may be trying to prevent the devastation from being so severe that I would crave a drink. Because the worst situations that I've had to deal with in the last year really made me want a drink and I don't want to be back to even that. Did that make sense? I'm not saying it's healthy, but I do think it is true in my case. I also do think some of it may be just a natural calming from sobriety and living better though. It's just probably so abnormal from us that it's easy to pick out.
Jeni, I admire you for plugging through all these difficult situations without a thought for a drink! I really hope things start falling into place for you soon. Have you considered getting the chest pains checked by a doctor just to make sure? Especially since you started an exercise program recently? I'm not telling you what to do. I just thought of the possible connection and would feel horrible if I didn't mention it.
HRB, I was so happy to read your post! Sounds like things are going well with you and it made my day! How great that your partner is going to go to therapy with you. I hope it's just the thing to send your relationship into bliss. Any pics from Disney?
Wehav, hope your work situation stays smooth sailing!
Tanja, Saskia, Babs, Dee, Aviva, Kitty, SJD, Emily, Shock, and everyone else, thinking of you too! Hope everyone is well. I feel like it's been a little quite here, but hopefully all for good reasons. I know I have been having a hard time being on here on my phone, especially in posting long posts, but I still pop in all the time and appreciate everyone's posts, even a quick hello
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
OLL, you sound so good! That doesn't mean perfect ... It means coping with real life. The changes I see in you are truly awesome! Nothing I can see that's wrong with what you are doing. I think anyone would be stressed out about work and moderating your response to things isn't necessarily bad. I'm so happy to hear you are enjoying the photography :-)
Hugs,
Sass
Hugs,
Sass
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hi all. Just wanted to wish everyone a good day. I've started counting down the weeks until school finishes....
OLL-don't worry about the chest pains, I've had them checked out before and I'm prescribed beta-blockers for anxiety. I'm not about to keel over. You can't get rid of me that easily. Lol
Ok off to crazy workapalooza I go...
Love to you all xxxxxxxxx
OLL-don't worry about the chest pains, I've had them checked out before and I'm prescribed beta-blockers for anxiety. I'm not about to keel over. You can't get rid of me that easily. Lol
Ok off to crazy workapalooza I go...
Love to you all xxxxxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
niiiiice workapalooza posts! HEHEHEHEHEEEEE!
Had a busy weekend and then day 1 of crazy workapalooza Part 2: the summer crazies started today. best day 1 of summer in, like ever. hope it stays like this!
i'll catch up with posts sometime this week but wanted to say a quick hellooooo to all my lovely may peeps. helloooooo! have a good night
Had a busy weekend and then day 1 of crazy workapalooza Part 2: the summer crazies started today. best day 1 of summer in, like ever. hope it stays like this!
i'll catch up with posts sometime this week but wanted to say a quick hellooooo to all my lovely may peeps. helloooooo! have a good night
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Well done Kitty...nearly at that magic 30 days, I think that was always a big one for me.
Wehav...you are just crazy girrrrrrl. Love the new vocab you've introduced to the group. I have started to use the word workapalooza in my real life. People are being rather slow to pick it up, but they'll learn. By the time you come to Yorkshire it will be so widespread they will even be using it on the BBC news...lol.
Talking of workapalooza, it is totally manic. I don't even have time to eat during the day. I'm in a permanent state of mild anxiety that I will forget something really important. I've got a series of post-it notes stuck around my computer of 'urgent' things to be tackled each day and I barely scratch the surface because I have to trouble shoot all day and don't get a chance to return to my desk. Hey ho...I'm dreaming of the summer break and sitting in my garden eating ice cream. I mean I don't want much really...
Have a good day everyone xxx
Wehav...you are just crazy girrrrrrl. Love the new vocab you've introduced to the group. I have started to use the word workapalooza in my real life. People are being rather slow to pick it up, but they'll learn. By the time you come to Yorkshire it will be so widespread they will even be using it on the BBC news...lol.
Talking of workapalooza, it is totally manic. I don't even have time to eat during the day. I'm in a permanent state of mild anxiety that I will forget something really important. I've got a series of post-it notes stuck around my computer of 'urgent' things to be tackled each day and I barely scratch the surface because I have to trouble shoot all day and don't get a chance to return to my desk. Hey ho...I'm dreaming of the summer break and sitting in my garden eating ice cream. I mean I don't want much really...
Have a good day everyone xxx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE !!!!! GUESS WHAT????It's 100 Days for me today !!!!!! I'm very excited----I wish everyone a fantastic Day and I will say it again and again --This thread is the only thing
that got be sober. With out you guys I would still be drinking and sneaking my booze. thank you and a big, BIG---HUG TO ALL OF YOU.
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