Viperidae

Thats great Ivy. I ran into my friend and she later texted, "you look amazing!!" My skin is clearing up too, and the dark circles around my eyes are much better. I think I have dropped a few pounds, I fit in my nice suit last night, when I went out, and I was surprised. That little spark is back in my eyes, and I can access my vocabulary without grasping for words or names constantly. People's reactions are very different. I think it's 24 days, 18 without a cigarette, 24 without klonapin(valium). I have to look back because I actually lost track. It could be one day less.

I need to work for some weight loss. I'm ok, but I like to be really lean.

I also found out that Benadryl causes the symptoms of dementia when taken regularly. I was popping those things like crazy to deal with allergic symptoms from wine. I developed a nasty allergy to it, and I compensated with an absurd amount of benadryl. I was buying bottles of 100. It's no wonder I am so messed up. That has added to my recovery issues, as my memory will take longer to come back. Once the medication is stopped, levels of chemicals in the brain will restore themselves, thank god.

No wonder I could not ever remember anything.

Thanks guys!!

ScoutBall

My view....


Sober.

DG0409

40 days for me!!

Anyway, I'll keep this short for once as I have a busy day ahead. Hope everyone is doing well!

Sobreia

Congratulations DG!!!! Well done!!!! Very happy for you. Thank you for the inspiration

DrakeCKC

Congrats DG. 40 days has been traditionally represented a long time or a period of trial. So it is a major milestone!

Goat

Go DG! Keep on rockin'! :-D

Sobreia

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend!

I am approaching 3 weeks Feeling much more secure in my sobriety than I have done on previous attempts.

I keep going on about it, but I am so grateful to all the wonderful people on SR; for the support, advice and kindness.

Becoming more aware of how this disease manifests itself, by learning from others and sharing, has been incredibly helpful. Being able to name things, for example "AV", has made me understand more about my relationship to alcohol and by doing so I am more capable dealing with impulses and destructive thoughts.

I still have some trouble concentrating so haven't been very good at following the discussions on here and commenting. Sorry about this. I will have a proper read through now and write some responses, as there are a lot of things I find interesting and thought provoking.

I am feeling very encouraged and inspired by all of you! Thank you!

Dee74

way to go DG

D

AllieB

Sobriea: Glad you're hanging in there!

DG: Awesome milestone; congrats!

Drake: lol...I didn't think about the various resonances of 40 (e.g., 40 days of dryness in the desert) until you mentioned that.
That is awesome about your energy level and weight loss as well! I definitely do feel like I have more physical energy but, then again, it's finally sunny, and sun always helps with energy too - at least one of my fuel sources is solar.


I am a panicky, nervous wreck and am left alone tonight in a house with a lot of alcohol, so I wanted to check in to read and post make sure that I remembered that, even if I'm not doing anything else right in my life right now, I'm flipping sober. [Take that, panic attacks...I'm going to sit very still and have you sober.] Seeing everyone else doing so well, and seeing other people struggle too, is a great reminder that I can and should make sober choices, even and especially when I go into Chicken Little mode.

Have a great Saturday/Sunday all!

AnotherPaul

Congrats to all who are hitting milestones. There's a lot of strength on this website and it's inspiring.

Sobreia

Hey Allie, thank you for the encouraging words! I am about to fall asleep, 2am here, just wanted to say that I think you are being very strong - can understand it must feel tough to be on your own when you are not feeling well. Be kind to yourself, you are doing so well. I am learning how to just be still with my anxiety, and not try to numb it or run from it. Am realising that by allowing myself to feel it, even if it is painful, it goes away faster then when trying to suppress it... Do you have anything you could do which could make you feel less panicky and more relaxed? I have started to play the piano again, and also tried mindfulness meditation (I can recommend Jon Kabat - Zinn, very soothing voice!

Viperidae

DG, 40 days is fantastic. Good work!

Ok, today I need a bit of help. I need to be as delicate as possible in describing this, but my digestive system is not moving. This started, and has become worse, and worse since I quit the booze. When I have been in this situation, drinking usually produces a movement the following day. I'm sure that stress and anxiety are causing the problem. I have been eating a huge salad every day, I am taking a fiber laxative that dissolves in water, and I am taking a softener pill. Nothing is helping. I am at the point where I am uncomfortable.

I know exercise is a huge factor in making a regular digestive system, and I just read that intense exercise is very helpful. I am not exercising yet.

The only thing that has prevented me from drinking is the fact that when I think of alcohol it seems like gasoline. I am getting so much better. I had my first full day today in a long time. I left the house at 9am and got back at 8pm. I was doing things all day. No heavy work or anything, for me it is amazing.

So this symptom is a trigger and I have to work on it somehow. I'm about to eat some more apples and drink some more miralax. I have to get regular, or this will be a disaster. I'm also going to load up on probiotics, just in case.

Any thoughts? Sorry for the grossness of the post.

Dee74

I've only had the problem once but I find worrying made it worse.

If you're really concerned Johnny, the best idea is to see a Dr - none of us know for sure what the problem is.

D

AllieB

Sobreia: those are really good ideas. I have thus far really flipped out when trying to meditate (I see a big black void with screaming monkeys, panic, hyperventilate, and then it gets ugly. Yeah, I have issues), but many people have told me to cowgirl up and give it time. I've taken a meditation workshop, and there are some techniques they recommend to children and teens that I can work with. Thanks for reminding me. The better, higher, more enlightened, way cooler self that I hope to be definitely meditates.

Johnny5: If it's been more than a week, Dee is right and you should think about a seeing a doctor (compaction is no laughing matter).

If it's less serious than that, start by laying off the fiber. It sounds counter-intuitive, but if you have a radical uptick in fiber intake, nothing will move through your system (bodies don't generally like to be surprised). Drink a lot of water, take a combo laxative such as senna (combo in the sense of softener plus stimulant) and keep taking the laxative for a couple days if necessary. You can get a simple stool softener (without the stimulant) as well and take just the softener forever without ill effect, but you probably need the stimulant at first.

(I went through similar troubles when I quit smoking and go through it every time I move, travel, or significantly change my routine.)

AllieB

Whoops. You already have the softener...that's great. Softeners (unlike stimulants) can be used for extended periods. Stimulants, although sometimes exactly what the not-a-doctor ordered, are for short-term use only. That said, I'm really grateful for them.

I hear that some of the other options (eating mango, drinking diluted apple cider vinegar or a shot of straight olive oil, sipping a cup of warm salty water, etc) work for some people, but I haven't had luck with those gentler options.

(Don't be embarrassed, everybody poops.)

Everyone Poops - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (cult-classic kids' book)

Viperidae

ok thanks. I'll go with the stimulant and the stool softener and lay off the fiber laxative. I already have the stool softener(colase). I can pick up the other tomorrow. I had a CAT scan 2 years ago because of this. It was normal. The fact that I can go just fine if I drink tells me this is not a disease or blockage.

When I had bad problems, I had quit drinking for 6 months. I was off the Prozac. I had many colonics. When I started prozac it helped a lot, and then I started drinking and the problem vanished. I am still on the prozac now.

The drinking relaxed my system. I'll call my doctor and get a referral to a gastroenterologist on Monday. I don't have much faith that they will help me, but you never know. I'll tell ya, if it gets to a week, I don't know what will happen(I guess an 80 dollar colonic is better than 2 $40 nights of booze, just to try anything to keep me on track). Actually a colonic is a great way to go to start over, and eat really good stuff and probiotics.

I am going every 3-4 days, but it is not satisfying at all. It's not a good feeling and getting worse. This started way before I started the fiber and stool softener.

Viperidae

Allie, What stimulant would you use? And I have the off brand stool softener with Colace.

I know my doc can give me an oral pill that will clean everything out, but he doesn't really want to.

I never found salt water, in oral or other ways, does anything. Nothing gentle works. I was forced to go for colonics about 6 times.

AllieB

Ah. If you have long-standing issues in this department that have required medical intervention, I'm not knowledgeable enough to help. As a general matter, however, pooping every 3-4 days is not considered true constipation. I know, it's not comfortable, but it's not considered a health problem.

Colonics are, imho, a bit sketchy. They clear out your good gut flora as well as the bad, and recolonization doesn't always work out the way one would hope. Gut flora is important, mysterious, complicated, and not easily fixed by mere consumption of probiotics.

I take a generic Senna product (available at CVS, Walgreens, anyplace, really; senna is just a plant) when I need to. But bear in mind that your system can become dependent on stimulants if you use them too often. In other words, as a general matter they're ok to take if you've gone 3 or 4 days without poop, but you shouldn't take them regularly (or prophylactically to stay regular), and you definitely shouldn't take them if you may have a blockage.

If your doctor doesn't want you taking a stimulant lax, though, don't. I don't know his reasons, but he probably has good ones. You can look at acupressure options (just google acupressure and constipation), but you may just have to drink a lot of water and wait until your system normalizes. It took my digestive system about 3 months to start working normally again after I quit smoking.

Dee74

yeah, I think if you have a history you're better off with a Dr than an internet board Johnny (no disrespect, of course, to Allie or anyone here)

D

AllieB

None taken, Dee, I completely agree.