DG0409

53 days for me today. I think I'm going to take the day off work. I'm pretty burnt out after the last 2 weeks... I've been working pretty hard to get caught up on things and just don't seem to have any self-discipline left at the moment. I think I need a few days off. Part of me feels like that is old 'drinking/procrastinating' sort of behavior, but honestly, that is silly. It is really OK to take a break once in a while. Not sure exactly what my plans for the day are though.


Johnny- I know just what you meant about the sunshine. I come from a sunny state and when I visit more overcast states, I can definitely tell a difference. I remember the first time I went two weeks without seeing the sun... I hated it! There are a billion places to live on this planet and they're not all the same. By all means, travel and spend time elsewhere... heck, get up and move to Puerto Rico. You only live once, do you want to spend your whole life in a cloudy miserable place?? Seriously, screw what everyone else thinks.


MLC- I suspect you may actually have more to tell the new-comer if you chose to share than you think. Why do you not want her to think, "forget it! sobriety stinks!"?? Because you know that even though it's a struggle and you don't feel better yet all the time... you know that it's worth it. I think your full story is a little more like, "This is hard, and everything isn't better yet. But I'm sticking with it because I know that as a sober person I can eventually start to tackle and solve the real problems rather than drinking and making them worse." You have reasons to quit that have gotten you this far. You could share those. Not that I'm trying to say that you need to share if you're not ready. I just think maybe there is more to the story than you give yourself credit for.


Ladybug- Way to go on 26 days! I think it's natural to still have bad days sometimes for the first bid. We drank for so long and over so many different things that our brain just associates it with everything. It's really easy for something to remind of us drinking and for our brain to translate that into craving a drink. Whenever I think of drinking, I think of how miserable I was at the end and that helps. I don't let myself dwell ever on how it was relaxing or whatever because I know that is a LIE. I was not relaxed from all the alcohol... I was depressed, anxious, my life was falling part and I was miserable.

Scoutball- I can totally sympathize. I've been spending a lot more time examining myself and my life since I quit... and it hasn't not exactly been a fun experience. I did so many things when I was drinking that I wish I didn't. Saying I wish I didn't isn't accurate either... I wouldn't change my past or anything I don't think... I learned from it. But there are definitely things I look back at and it's confusing and really hard to understand why I did them. Then there are all the things I should have done and didn't. And the lists are so long! I know I never want to be that way again. I know it will take time to not make me that way to start with. There are things that when I was drinking, I could never figure out why I did them. I am starting to think that the answer for many of them is that I did them because I was drinking.

bookpunk

Hearing how tough it is -- that's why I come here when I'm feeling the same way. It doesn't make me think "sobriety sucks." It makes me think "alcohol sucks."

Ladybug2

Thank you, Bookpunk, I needed to hear this today

Day 27 and the weekend is here. No big plans, which worries me a little, but trying not to look ahead. Taking an hour at a time. In-laws are coming over today to watch my daughter while I get some things done. Big trigger, but I think I'll be ok. I am too close to 30 days to blow it now, right?

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Going to be hot (90's), humid and miserable here in PA

Babs1234

Ladybug,Bookpunk---thanks I needed to hear from someone in the same boat today. I've got a funny feeling that it is going to be a long week-end. I have to change my train of thoughts to happier things. Whoa---I think i'm feeling sorry for myself and better knock it off soon.
Ok----i'm going to change this frown to a smile. ---thanks

DrakeCKC

Doing some life examination with a clear mind here too at 55 days. I need to divest of some toxic "friends" not totally disown but back off from their poisonous influence, I need to give a toxic client the heave-ho even though I do not have a prospect to replace them yet and deal with some of the other addictive habits I have.

Give me strength... but as I saw in a post somewhere, a little graphic that said "the worst day sober is better than the best day drunk".. Gotta keep believing!

Ladybug2

Oops, this is Day 26, not 27. Getting ahead of myself

triathlynne

Well hi all. This is day 42 for me

Babs1234

having problems with my computer---hope it is ok by Monday. Have a great week-end. hugs for everyone. thank you for all the support.

Dee74

Hope everyone has a good weekend and a smooth road ahead

D

MustLoveCoffee

Well said, bookpunk. Thanks.

DG0409

Spent the day checking out some of the attractions around the area that I'm currently in. I travel a lot for my job and one of the things I love about it is being able to take the time to see different stuff.

It was good for me to see some new things... it always helps my perspective.

Looking forward to seeing more cool stuff tomorrow. I've got a few places in mind that I've been wanting to see for some time, but haven't had a chance yet.

I need to remember the things that I like to do. When I think about it, I like a lot of stuff that is way cooler than drinking. And not drinking has made me start to remember more of. Not that I ever entirely stopped liking cool stuff, but my interest in it had admittedly diminished considerably.

Goat

Good evening everyone!

My extra contract that was causing me to work 80 hour weeks for the past three months is over finally!

I really wish I could say "I'll miss the extra money" but the money from this contract was designated solely for my employee and the IRS.

I won't miss the long hours AA plus 80 hours a week plus IOP plus coaching plus scouts is a lot of stuff on my plate.

Today I got a chance to go outside. I planted three of eight forsythia shrubs before the sky opened up. I really enjoy planting things. I also did some leveling where my patio in the back yard will be.

Two baseball games and concession stand duty tomorrow. Gonna be a busy weekend. Hey, maybe it'll rain again

I'm feeling very strong in my program right now. Not complacent strong, but strong because I feel the growth and change it is giving me.

ElegantlyWasted

A day 39er checking in. Great to see so many April Babies staying the course. Weird yet good how things are starting to clear up in week 6; feel like a little bit of a break through. Have a great weekend everyone!

Viperidae

I also have some AV going on. It's a very faint nagging. Once I make it past 6pm I'm ok. It's mainly at 'happy hour' 4-6pm. I bounced right back after the last time I drank, so oddly I think it's ok. But I know the slippery slope all too well. So many things are better now. Since I made it over that hump of feeling terrible for 1.5 weeks, it's easier to see how things are better.

Who makes green smoothies and what machine are you using to make them?

Hi all. I saw the Naturopath, and she gave me great advice. I'm pretty confident that I can improve things with a few supplements, and some semi-serious dietary changes.

This might seem hard to do, but how much energy did we expend getting our booze, and dealing with the repercussions of drinking?

AnotherPaul

Day 57 here. I've had some cravings lately, which are ignored easily enough, but the simple fact that I'm still dealing with them can be a bit depressing sometimes, especially coupled with the knowledge that they'll be there for a long time, in spurts at least, and maybe forever. When I feel sorry for myself and get in a rut like that and feel like breaking something, I try to remember that as bad as alcoholism is, there are a lot of people dealing with worse things. I try to remember that I'm fortunate to be "only" 37 years old as I'm sobering up, and as much damage as I did to this body, it's already healing, the weight is coming off, and at least I didn't lose a marriage or hurt someone with my car and so on. I mean, all I did was damn near drink myself to death and lose one job, lol. It could always have been worse, and would've gotten there in short order if I'd kept it up, and if I stay this course things will slowly continue to improve, with some bumps along the way, but I'm young enough to hopefully have 40 or so years to enjoy sobriety and be a good person and a positive force in this world on some small level. And that's enough.

Dee74

Hey AnotherPaul

I tried to think of it this way - I dealt with cravings for 20 years or more...the only difference now is I don't feed them.

Give it time...they will fade, then stop - I can't remember the last time I had one.

D

DG0409

Day 54.

Had a good day. Saw some cool stuff. Had a snack of 2 donuts earlier and pizza for dinner, but that's ok... just can't make a habit of doing that.

At the end of the day, I was just starving and looking for something to eat. My body has learned to crave food rather than alcohol.

Exhausted tonight, but I like that feeling: I know I'll sleep well.

Hope everyone had a good Saturday.

Ladybug2

Hi everyone,

Just checking in at the end of a hard Day 27. Craving for wine hit at 5pm tonight and wouldn't go away. Almost threw in the towel, but kept thinking how close I am to 30 days and how much regret I would have tomorrow. I thought it would get easier the closer I got to 30 days, but it is actually getting harder?! Why is that? That AV is full of surprises and really knows how to catch me off guard. But, today I beat it

Dee74

It will be up and down for a little while ladybug - we drank for years - 30 days is great, but it's just the beginning

D

DrakeCKC

Busy day, which is always good. 56 days under the belt. Humbled in the realization that being sober is only part of the fight... next comes recovery and the promise of better times.

Good night from Midwest USA, class!