Class of March 2013 Part 13
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,187
Nms, i feel that if your family care about you, they ought to care about doing right by you. In your shoes i would feel within my rights to state catagorically no alcohol, if that is what you wish, you can even joke " lets face it, if any of you can't go without for a few days just to help me, you're obviously in as much trouble as i was" or words to that effect. For a long time my sister in law didnt drink, now she has the occasional wine, but i would never have dreamt it ok to take booze round to her house! Its like taking your own steak to a vegetarians and eating it bloody at the dining table, or visiting a diabetic and eating a huge cake! Sweetie, do what you must to protect your sobriety, and if they care they ahould abide by your preferences. Apologies for any mistakes, sausage fingers ( vegetarian of course!)
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
NMS,
How you feel about this does matter. So you don't have to apologize, not to us! I don't know the best way to deal with your situation, but put your need to be sober at the top of your plan, along with entertaining non-drinking minors. And remember to breathe! I get anxiety too, and I usually make things seem worse in my head than they really turn out to be.
How you feel about this does matter. So you don't have to apologize, not to us! I don't know the best way to deal with your situation, but put your need to be sober at the top of your plan, along with entertaining non-drinking minors. And remember to breathe! I get anxiety too, and I usually make things seem worse in my head than they really turn out to be.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Good morning or night buddies!
NMS, that's a tough one and I don't have much experience in entertaining at that level. I also was the only drunk in my family so it was always probably them talking about me on what to do. I don't like causing people problems so I would always just drink enough before to get through it and then skate as soon as I could so I could continue. Great way to enjoy life huh? Pretty sad actually.
It doesn't bother me when normal people have a drink in front of me because they could care less what it is they are actually drinking so its never about drinking anyway. I don't want to buy anyone's drinks since that's a perk I like....I save the money. They are on their own there. My friends have one and they can make it last 2 hours. I even forget what they have in their glass. It's a scientific wonder to me how they even do that.
I think it's your house and your party and your rules but I know that enforcing at a big gathering like that would just be almost impossible if your dad and his fiancé just plan on bringing it anyway. I'd have to be real. Friends you can hold them accountable to your rules but family?? We are kind of stuck with what we got if you know what I mean. If there is no way around it, is there anyway you can ask them to adjust? In other words, tell them you do not want bottles out in plain sight and they must mix their drinks in a utility room or something. What they have in their glass is their business but that doesn't mean you or a bunch of minors have to look at it all day. It's sounds wishy washy but I'm just trying to think of realistic strategies. Take it for what it is worth.
Absolutely I think in a perfect world we should be able to put our foot down on this but I'm just trying to be realistic on a big family function graduation party. These type of gatherings can be pretty tricky on a good day. Some family members who drink are just going to drink no matter what you ask them to do. I think you should just do your best and only worry about what you do.
It will be just fine NMS! You can only control what you can and your children love you for you. Just do what you know to be right for you. Enjoy the day with your children. Let the memory of their party be one of you not sitting at the drinking table.
xoxo
NMS, that's a tough one and I don't have much experience in entertaining at that level. I also was the only drunk in my family so it was always probably them talking about me on what to do. I don't like causing people problems so I would always just drink enough before to get through it and then skate as soon as I could so I could continue. Great way to enjoy life huh? Pretty sad actually.
It doesn't bother me when normal people have a drink in front of me because they could care less what it is they are actually drinking so its never about drinking anyway. I don't want to buy anyone's drinks since that's a perk I like....I save the money. They are on their own there. My friends have one and they can make it last 2 hours. I even forget what they have in their glass. It's a scientific wonder to me how they even do that.
I think it's your house and your party and your rules but I know that enforcing at a big gathering like that would just be almost impossible if your dad and his fiancé just plan on bringing it anyway. I'd have to be real. Friends you can hold them accountable to your rules but family?? We are kind of stuck with what we got if you know what I mean. If there is no way around it, is there anyway you can ask them to adjust? In other words, tell them you do not want bottles out in plain sight and they must mix their drinks in a utility room or something. What they have in their glass is their business but that doesn't mean you or a bunch of minors have to look at it all day. It's sounds wishy washy but I'm just trying to think of realistic strategies. Take it for what it is worth.
Absolutely I think in a perfect world we should be able to put our foot down on this but I'm just trying to be realistic on a big family function graduation party. These type of gatherings can be pretty tricky on a good day. Some family members who drink are just going to drink no matter what you ask them to do. I think you should just do your best and only worry about what you do.
It will be just fine NMS! You can only control what you can and your children love you for you. Just do what you know to be right for you. Enjoy the day with your children. Let the memory of their party be one of you not sitting at the drinking table.
xoxo
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,673
Originally Posted by 360shoes 
Good morning or night buddies!
NMS, that's a tough one and I don't have much experience in entertaining at that level. I also was the only drunk in my family so it was always probably them talking about me on what to do. I don't like causing people problems so I would always just drink enough before to get through it and then skate as soon as I could so I could continue. Great way to enjoy life huh? Pretty sad actually.
It doesn't bother me when normal people have a drink in front of me because they could care less what it is they are actually drinking so its never about drinking anyway. I don't want to buy anyone's drinks since that's a perk I like....I save the money. They are on their own there. My friends have one and they can make it last 2 hours. I even forget what they have in their glass. It's a scientific wonder to me how they even do that.
I think it's your house and your party and your rules but I know that enforcing at a big gathering like that would just be almost impossible if your dad and his fiancé just plan on bringing it anyway. I'd have to be real. Friends you can hold them accountable to your rules but family?? We are kind of stuck with what we got if you know what I mean. If there is no way around it, is there anyway you can ask them to adjust? In other words, tell them you do not want bottles out in plain sight and they must mix their drinks in a utility room or something. What they have in their glass is their business but that doesn't mean you or a bunch of minors have to look at it all day. It's sounds wishy washy but I'm just trying to think of realistic strategies. Take it for what it is worth.
Absolutely I think in a perfect world we should be able to put our foot down on this but I'm just trying to be realistic on a big family function graduation party. These type of gatherings can be pretty tricky on a good day. Some family members who drink are just going to drink no matter what you ask them to do. I think you should just do your best and only worry about what you do.
It will be just fine NMS! You can only control what you can and your children love you for you. Just do what you know to be right for you. Enjoy the day with your children. Let the memory of their party be one of you not sitting at the drinking table.
xoxo
NMS, that's a tough one and I don't have much experience in entertaining at that level. I also was the only drunk in my family so it was always probably them talking about me on what to do. I don't like causing people problems so I would always just drink enough before to get through it and then skate as soon as I could so I could continue. Great way to enjoy life huh? Pretty sad actually.
It doesn't bother me when normal people have a drink in front of me because they could care less what it is they are actually drinking so its never about drinking anyway. I don't want to buy anyone's drinks since that's a perk I like....I save the money. They are on their own there. My friends have one and they can make it last 2 hours. I even forget what they have in their glass. It's a scientific wonder to me how they even do that.
I think it's your house and your party and your rules but I know that enforcing at a big gathering like that would just be almost impossible if your dad and his fiancé just plan on bringing it anyway. I'd have to be real. Friends you can hold them accountable to your rules but family?? We are kind of stuck with what we got if you know what I mean. If there is no way around it, is there anyway you can ask them to adjust? In other words, tell them you do not want bottles out in plain sight and they must mix their drinks in a utility room or something. What they have in their glass is their business but that doesn't mean you or a bunch of minors have to look at it all day. It's sounds wishy washy but I'm just trying to think of realistic strategies. Take it for what it is worth.
Absolutely I think in a perfect world we should be able to put our foot down on this but I'm just trying to be realistic on a big family function graduation party. These type of gatherings can be pretty tricky on a good day. Some family members who drink are just going to drink no matter what you ask them to do. I think you should just do your best and only worry about what you do.
It will be just fine NMS! You can only control what you can and your children love you for you. Just do what you know to be right for you. Enjoy the day with your children. Let the memory of their party be one of you not sitting at the drinking table.
xoxo
Babs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
I'm not as sweet as I used to be though. I'm not so sure that if I were throwing the big party I wouldn't just set up a table back behind the garage by the trash dumpsters and tell everyone "see, I am considerate of other people's life style choices....here's the drinking/smoking section...enjoy!"
Hey Joy, you asked about the job search...not good. I may have to resort to drastic measures. I don't know what those could be right now but I'll find something to turn a buck. I'll figure something out. I always do
My Mom had to be put on an antipsychotic drug and my Dad on an antidepressant. Jeez, there ain't a member of this family that isn't on something!
I get up in the morning all good but by evening I'm super down. One nice thing is the nurse at my parents facility is a recovering alcoholic...her words...and I told her when I quit drinking that because she shared that with me it helped me make the decision to quit. I drank a lot when this all started with them. It's been nice since when she gives me an update about them she also asks how I'm doing. She's like my unconventional sponsor in a way. I take help wherever I can get it!
And you all...you all are really the only folks I have that I can share totally with. I have people I can share with here too but that's a lot to ask of them. I need to spread out the help I need so I don't become a burden to just a poor handful of people.
You are all stuck with me.
Hey Joy, you asked about the job search...not good. I may have to resort to drastic measures. I don't know what those could be right now but I'll find something to turn a buck. I'll figure something out. I always do
My Mom had to be put on an antipsychotic drug and my Dad on an antidepressant. Jeez, there ain't a member of this family that isn't on something!
I get up in the morning all good but by evening I'm super down. One nice thing is the nurse at my parents facility is a recovering alcoholic...her words...and I told her when I quit drinking that because she shared that with me it helped me make the decision to quit. I drank a lot when this all started with them. It's been nice since when she gives me an update about them she also asks how I'm doing. She's like my unconventional sponsor in a way. I take help wherever I can get it!
And you all...you all are really the only folks I have that I can share totally with. I have people I can share with here too but that's a lot to ask of them. I need to spread out the help I need so I don't become a burden to just a poor handful of people.
You are all stuck with me.
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
My husband and I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary this weekend.
We are going on a date to dinner and movie. I'm a little anxious about being out
for that long. I haven't been to a movie sober in 8 years. I really used to love
going, popping a couple of pills first, made it seem so much more fun. Why, I
don't understand, because it's not like I had a bad movie experience and needed
drugs to get through it. I used the excuse of needing the pills for my back so
I could sit through it, but I know what I was really doing. Nonetheless, I am going.
It's all such a mind game, isn't it?
We are going on a date to dinner and movie. I'm a little anxious about being out
for that long. I haven't been to a movie sober in 8 years. I really used to love
going, popping a couple of pills first, made it seem so much more fun. Why, I
don't understand, because it's not like I had a bad movie experience and needed
drugs to get through it. I used the excuse of needing the pills for my back so
I could sit through it, but I know what I was really doing. Nonetheless, I am going.
It's all such a mind game, isn't it?
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Shoes, it's great you have the nurse there to talk with. I'm sorry about your
parents. I know, we are just having issues with my mom-in-law getting age
related issues. It's hard.
I'm so grateful for all of you here, too.
Now, shoes, polish your fanciest shoes and start walking! lol
parents. I know, we are just having issues with my mom-in-law getting age
related issues. It's hard.
I'm so grateful for all of you here, too.
Now, shoes, polish your fanciest shoes and start walking! lol
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 108
Hi all,
I've been contemplating lately about how amazing I feel. For me, I'm sure I get the benefit from a "double rebound" effect - the first being the obvious benefits of sobriety, and second being the lifting of the depression. Perhaps even a third benefit is the one I get from being on the bike for a couple hundred miles per week, losing weight and cleaning up my diet substantially. (How many is that? I lose count...). I recall writing about "being in a really good place, and needing to find a way to stay here permanently".
The truth is, this feels better than ANY buzz I've ever exacted from a bottle. Not even a close contest. Period.
I've been thinking a lot about the idea of recovery, sobriety and the various concepts, programs and methods that are the frequent topic of conversation on this forum. Much like my view of religion, I'm not an adherent to any one particular program or method. I see a lot of wisdom and insight in nearly all of them, and I glean from that insight the bits of wisdom that help form a more cohesive thought process that I can draw upon.
The fundamental basis of all this is the simple admission that alcohol serves no productive or positive purpose in my life whatsoever. Period. It doesn't make ANYTHING better. NOTHING in my life is made better with alcohol. NOTHING. My temptation to drink is no stronger than my temptation to inject heroin (which is non-existent). My relationship with alcohol was abusive and destructive. If a situation or setting could be "made better" with alcohol, it's a situation or setting that I no longer want to be in. My mind is awakening after 30 nearly-continuous years of inebriation. I seek out and surround myself with those who radiate positive energy, love and compassion. Those who see the joy and wonder in life. Those whose minds are curious. Alcohol only destroys that energy. It unleashes violence and ignorance in people. It is a mind-numbing poison that we are brainwashed into believing we enjoy, need and benefit from. It is none of that.
Life is an amazing, precious gift. Enjoy it with a clear, curious and grateful mind and a forgiving and loving heart.
Peace,
D
I've been contemplating lately about how amazing I feel. For me, I'm sure I get the benefit from a "double rebound" effect - the first being the obvious benefits of sobriety, and second being the lifting of the depression. Perhaps even a third benefit is the one I get from being on the bike for a couple hundred miles per week, losing weight and cleaning up my diet substantially. (How many is that? I lose count...). I recall writing about "being in a really good place, and needing to find a way to stay here permanently".
The truth is, this feels better than ANY buzz I've ever exacted from a bottle. Not even a close contest. Period.
I've been thinking a lot about the idea of recovery, sobriety and the various concepts, programs and methods that are the frequent topic of conversation on this forum. Much like my view of religion, I'm not an adherent to any one particular program or method. I see a lot of wisdom and insight in nearly all of them, and I glean from that insight the bits of wisdom that help form a more cohesive thought process that I can draw upon.
The fundamental basis of all this is the simple admission that alcohol serves no productive or positive purpose in my life whatsoever. Period. It doesn't make ANYTHING better. NOTHING in my life is made better with alcohol. NOTHING. My temptation to drink is no stronger than my temptation to inject heroin (which is non-existent). My relationship with alcohol was abusive and destructive. If a situation or setting could be "made better" with alcohol, it's a situation or setting that I no longer want to be in. My mind is awakening after 30 nearly-continuous years of inebriation. I seek out and surround myself with those who radiate positive energy, love and compassion. Those who see the joy and wonder in life. Those whose minds are curious. Alcohol only destroys that energy. It unleashes violence and ignorance in people. It is a mind-numbing poison that we are brainwashed into believing we enjoy, need and benefit from. It is none of that.
Life is an amazing, precious gift. Enjoy it with a clear, curious and grateful mind and a forgiving and loving heart.
Peace,
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Rogersville, Tennessee
Posts: 2,659
Hi everyone,
Been missing lately, been very busy at work. Had a few days last week that would have sent me screaming into a bottle of Jose Cuervo, but after everything settled, I realized that I hardly gave drinking a thought on those nights.
Friday night I got a phone call from my old running buddy, he fell off the cocaine wagon after we both quit around 15 years ago. I hadn't told him that I have recently quit drinking, he was surprised to hear that. We had a long talk that night, a lot of things I said to him were things I learned here on SR.
We've been talking every night since and he's decided to give up drinking too. He has no computer access though. I wish he did so he could come on here.
Since my house painting is complete, I needed something else to do, so now I'm refinishing some old furniture. It really keeps my free time filled up. A friend stopped by the other day, saw what I've been doing and started laughing as I live in a 1950's era mobile home that has virtually no upgrading since new. He told me I'm putting chandeliers in an outhouse! I though that was hilarious, so I did put a chandelier above my kitchen table. (an old tv tray table) I guess a new kitchen table will now become a priority.
This Sunday will mark my longest time sober probably since I started drinking, 78 days, my last stretch was in 2003 after my then wife got a DUI. I stopped to support her. I found out soon enough that she made it about 14 hours. I kept going, hoping she would get sober, but that never happened. I just wish I would have kept on, but I didn't either. This time will be different.
I hope everyone is doing well.
Thanks and Stay Strong
Ken
Been missing lately, been very busy at work. Had a few days last week that would have sent me screaming into a bottle of Jose Cuervo, but after everything settled, I realized that I hardly gave drinking a thought on those nights.
Friday night I got a phone call from my old running buddy, he fell off the cocaine wagon after we both quit around 15 years ago. I hadn't told him that I have recently quit drinking, he was surprised to hear that. We had a long talk that night, a lot of things I said to him were things I learned here on SR.
We've been talking every night since and he's decided to give up drinking too. He has no computer access though. I wish he did so he could come on here.
Since my house painting is complete, I needed something else to do, so now I'm refinishing some old furniture. It really keeps my free time filled up. A friend stopped by the other day, saw what I've been doing and started laughing as I live in a 1950's era mobile home that has virtually no upgrading since new. He told me I'm putting chandeliers in an outhouse! I though that was hilarious, so I did put a chandelier above my kitchen table. (an old tv tray table) I guess a new kitchen table will now become a priority.
This Sunday will mark my longest time sober probably since I started drinking, 78 days, my last stretch was in 2003 after my then wife got a DUI. I stopped to support her. I found out soon enough that she made it about 14 hours. I kept going, hoping she would get sober, but that never happened. I just wish I would have kept on, but I didn't either. This time will be different.
I hope everyone is doing well.
Thanks and Stay Strong
Ken
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,187
Bud, everything sounds really good with you! I love the sound of a chandelier in the outhouse! Flock wallpaper too!! You should speak to Shoes about the interior design!!
Troae, sounds like you have really surfaced from that earlier depression, and are attacking life head on! I agree on surrounding myself with positive people, negativity just seems to seep the energy out of anyone around. Plus, as misery loves company, negative people will try to drag you down to their level. Keep it up, you are sounding great!
Joygirl, enjoy experiencing every emotion, the joy love and delight or your anniversary. You don't need chemical help to have a great time, relax and have fun, fun, fun!
Troae, sounds like you have really surfaced from that earlier depression, and are attacking life head on! I agree on surrounding myself with positive people, negativity just seems to seep the energy out of anyone around. Plus, as misery loves company, negative people will try to drag you down to their level. Keep it up, you are sounding great!
Joygirl, enjoy experiencing every emotion, the joy love and delight or your anniversary. You don't need chemical help to have a great time, relax and have fun, fun, fun!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Joygirl, Toots is right - I'm discovering that there's much fun to be had sans chemicals. In the beginning, I really couldn't see that but it is a possibility! Have a fun date with your hubby & congrats on 25 years!!
Shoes, I find that I share more with this group than anyone else as well. There are times when I'm feeling week and coming here reminds me why I want to stay sober and how. So nice that you have the nurse to be open with too. I'm looking forward to going to women's meetings in a few weeks and I'm hoping to connect with some sober women face to face.
nms, I know it's hard to restrict family members from drinking. My friend had to do that and it didn't go over well but that's because the rest of her family were active alcoholics. She stood strong and they eventually accepted her rules. Good luck -- none of this is easy.
Feeling sad over the situation with my brother. I almost feel like all of these feelings that I've buried for so many years are coming at me in a rush - but I'm coming out on the other end, finally. I'm not sure I handled the situation well at all but I can't take it back. We'll see how things pan out - but it makes me sad. I love the big lug even though he's quite the ass. Families!
Going to make it an early evening tonight and maybe get a little pleasure reading in. Good night/day/morning all!
Shoes, I find that I share more with this group than anyone else as well. There are times when I'm feeling week and coming here reminds me why I want to stay sober and how. So nice that you have the nurse to be open with too. I'm looking forward to going to women's meetings in a few weeks and I'm hoping to connect with some sober women face to face.
nms, I know it's hard to restrict family members from drinking. My friend had to do that and it didn't go over well but that's because the rest of her family were active alcoholics. She stood strong and they eventually accepted her rules. Good luck -- none of this is easy.
Feeling sad over the situation with my brother. I almost feel like all of these feelings that I've buried for so many years are coming at me in a rush - but I'm coming out on the other end, finally. I'm not sure I handled the situation well at all but I can't take it back. We'll see how things pan out - but it makes me sad. I love the big lug even though he's quite the ass. Families!
Going to make it an early evening tonight and maybe get a little pleasure reading in. Good night/day/morning all!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,649
NMS I'm late to the discussion but, for me, my house is a non alcohol zone - everyone who comes here understands that - people who don't like it, don't come.
For a long time that was my family - but they weakened
I don't expect you to go all Rambo like I did lol....but...it's your house - it's ok to set your boundaries and rules I think...
Joygirl - Troae is right....life is awesome
I reckon you'll enjoy the move a lot - and remember it too, to boot
Happy Anniversary!
Duff - I'm sorry for the situation with your bro is still knocking you around a little. It;s tough to be on either side of that fence.
Shoes I'm glad you have a little support - and I'm glad this group helps too
congrats on your milestone Budd
good to see you going from strength to strength Sas
hows things with you Toots? Marcher?
D
For a long time that was my family - but they weakened
I don't expect you to go all Rambo like I did lol....but...it's your house - it's ok to set your boundaries and rules I think...
Joygirl - Troae is right....life is awesome
I reckon you'll enjoy the move a lot - and remember it too, to boot
Happy Anniversary!
Duff - I'm sorry for the situation with your bro is still knocking you around a little. It;s tough to be on either side of that fence.
Shoes I'm glad you have a little support - and I'm glad this group helps too
congrats on your milestone Budd
good to see you going from strength to strength Sas
hows things with you Toots? Marcher?
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Good morning peeps. It's absolutely pouring rain here, it hasn't rained for a month so heavy rain is very very welcome. I actually had to hunt around the house to fight a suitable coat and my umbrella!
This morning, because of the rain and the time of year, it was very dark and cold (for an Australian!) so it was hard to get out of bed but soooooo much easier than in the hangover days. Remember those? When you could barely crawl out of bed? And other days you couldn't.
When I was putting on my 'face' this morning I noticed that after cementing the cracks I actually looked alright, ie., healthy.
Thanks for asking Dee, I'm really good. I'm eating too much ice cream (never used to eat much at all) and once I've finished one meal I'm anticipating the next but I'm also keeping an eye on my weight. In other words I am doing well. I've been going over to the gratitude threads lately because I know that one of my weaknesses is getting cocky when I achieve something and, as a result, falling on my face. Gratitude reminds me and grounds me.
March on my friends.
This morning, because of the rain and the time of year, it was very dark and cold (for an Australian!) so it was hard to get out of bed but soooooo much easier than in the hangover days. Remember those? When you could barely crawl out of bed? And other days you couldn't.
When I was putting on my 'face' this morning I noticed that after cementing the cracks I actually looked alright, ie., healthy.
Thanks for asking Dee, I'm really good. I'm eating too much ice cream (never used to eat much at all) and once I've finished one meal I'm anticipating the next but I'm also keeping an eye on my weight.
In other words I am doing well. I've been going over to the gratitude threads lately because I know that one of my weaknesses is getting cocky when I achieve something and, as a result, falling on my face. Gratitude reminds me and grounds me.March on my friends.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,649
I'm fine now - back to bullish health Toots.
I hear you on the weather Marcher - it was rainy and 13 here yesterday - thats not typical winter weather - back to normal clear blue skies today tho
D
I hear you on the weather Marcher - it was rainy and 13 here yesterday - thats not typical winter weather - back to normal clear blue skies today tho
D
Last edited by Dee74; 05-22-2013 at 05:16 PM.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,292
Thanks, Dee! I like the way that sounds "going from strength to strength". Somehow it feels like I flipped a switch. Occasionally the thought that crosses my mind is in the form of something like this "oh gosh, before this used to be a trigger to have a drink; although it sounds good, I know it will lead me to a place I don't want to go. This time it took me too darned long to reach the point where I totally quit. I don't ever want to go through that again!"
By the time I finish thinking through that, the small craving has disappeared. Each time I resist one,I feel stronger. I'm so grateful to everyone on SR!
Lots of love and hugs,
Sass
By the time I finish thinking through that, the small craving has disappeared. Each time I resist one,I feel stronger. I'm so grateful to everyone on SR!
Lots of love and hugs,
Sass
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,187
Duff, where emotions are concerned, the confrontations with those we love are rarely handled well. It's not that I avoid confrontation, ( I firmly believe in the positive aspects of clearing the air and not letting things fester) but I do feel,I can put things better in the written word. There have often been times I have emailed hubby in the week over something I need him to think about rather than just react, and at the weekend, we have been able to communicate in a less heated way. I'm not saying that my way is the only way, but certainly with a drunk it is easy to dismiss spoken words, especially if we see them as a personal attack, but the written word can be harder to ignore. If in doubt, remind yourself of Dees signature!
Sass, you are being very positive this time around, also you are so aware of the pitfalls, you can be better prepared. There will always be plenty of support here x
Shoes it's nice you have some one you can talk to face to face about your recovery, I wish there was someone in my life, but I don't care enough about it to go to AA or anything. With so many recovering drunks out there, I'm bound to trip over one sooner or later, lets face it we don't go around wearing signs!!
Sass, you are being very positive this time around, also you are so aware of the pitfalls, you can be better prepared. There will always be plenty of support here x
Shoes it's nice you have some one you can talk to face to face about your recovery, I wish there was someone in my life, but I don't care enough about it to go to AA or anything. With so many recovering drunks out there, I'm bound to trip over one sooner or later, lets face it we don't go around wearing signs!!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,292
Originally Posted by tootsl1
Sass, you are being very positive this time around, also you are so aware of the pitfalls, you can be better prepared. There will always be plenty of support here x
Shoes it's nice you have some one you can talk to face to face about your recovery, I wish there was someone in my life, but I don't care enough about it to go to AA or anything. With so many recovering drunks out there, I'm bound to trip over one sooner or later, lets face it we don't go around wearing signs!!
Shoes it's nice you have some one you can talk to face to face about your recovery, I wish there was someone in my life, but I don't care enough about it to go to AA or anything. With so many recovering drunks out there, I'm bound to trip over one sooner or later, lets face it we don't go around wearing signs!!
Yes, you are right, Toots that there are many, many alcoholics out there. Not only of the "drink until wasted" variety, but I think there are far more people than we think who are "closet" alcoholics like I was.
I had a very sharp therapist who I started with during a time of great turmoil. After about 8 years of seeing him either once or twice a week, I finally told him about it. He was either 1) totally surprised or 2) knew it and acted totally surprised (I previously hadn't thought about the latter possibility but he would be capable of and likely to do that!).
Some of us can manage just enough control to avoid a public spectacle but that doesn't mean we don't have the same problem. I have a friend who is an alcoholic who hasn't had a drink in many years. She is very prim and proper and you'd never guess it in a million years. Even today, I could (and not long ago have) nursed one glass of wine for an hour or more. But when alone I could just as easily get wasted. So I can't nurse that single glass because I know where it would inevitably lead.
I doubt that I am genetically an alcoholic (none in my family) but I believe that early heavy drinking (in college and after) altered my brain chemistry so that now I am an alcoholic. I've had enough lengthy "dry" spells to know with certainty that this isn't going to change, ever. So it's high time that I simply accept and live with it. And the true reality is that it's not a deprivation to stop drinking alcohol (or any drug) - it provides a momentary high and then such a very high price for that fleeting feeling. And then we spend our lives chasing that fleeting feeling. What a colossal waste! Going there again is simply not an option.
As you've probably guessed, I'm in the process of verbalizing my thinking as a way of cementing my changing attitudes about drinking.
Thanks for listening!
Hugs,
Sass
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,292
Ps
Today is my Day 30 (I just looked it up). I am not really celebrating until I hit 60 days because I did 30 before and want to feel more solid before celebrating this time. But I am quietly gratified to have made it this far.
Thank you, friends!
Today is my Day 30 (I just looked it up). I am not really celebrating until I hit 60 days because I did 30 before and want to feel more solid before celebrating this time. But I am quietly gratified to have made it this far.
Thank you, friends!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Aussie
Posts: 382
Woohoo Saskia! 30days!
Today is day 66 for me, its my longest time sober since my 93 day stretch I started last may.
Today I donated blood for the first time and it was not as dreadful as I always thought it would be. I think I'm going to become a regular donor, it felt good to be able to contribute something.
Today is day 66 for me, its my longest time sober since my 93 day stretch I started last may.
Today I donated blood for the first time and it was not as dreadful as I always thought it would be. I think I'm going to become a regular donor, it felt good to be able to contribute something.
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