Class Of November 2012 - Part 6
Doing Business Since 11/3/2012
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,143
It seams like it takes me a few days to notice that any of you have posted. Sorry Sazzle and Nomis that you are not feeling better, but I'm really happy to hear that you are fighting and doing what you have to do to stay on top of this. So much controversy about it, but I think AA is great. People like to bash it, that's fine, but they then go drink again. I don't get that. It's really just up to us. I read so many posts where spouses suggest we try to have just one. Crazy. We know what is best for us. We were at a friends house and the wife, who is a total alcoholic, asked why I don't just sip a little wiskey if I feel like I have been drinking too much beer. This is from someone who has not had 'a sip' of wine in 10 years. Seriously 1+ bottles per night for her, but I should try to do some sipping to control my drinking. Thanks, but I go it. She of course was staggering around the kitchen before the night was over.
I am doing well. I still think about it a lot, and I read the posts and check in here all the time and play the interactive word games. I decided that I was just 100% ready to quit and that is the biggest advantage I have. I really was VeryReady. I am still convinced that I tried as hard as I could to control it. Just thankful I am done with that argument in my head. I am a loser when it comes to drinking.
Stressful fire season here in Colorado. Already evacuated once and everyone is on pins and needles. We have been lucky, but we had some lightning last night with almost no rain. We have a lot of standing dead trees in the state from a very bad beetle (pine beetle/Ips beetle) infestation. Literally millions of standing dead trees. Firemen are doing a great job, but man it gets old. We usually enter a wet season in July so hopefully it won't be like this all summer. No fun.
Good to see everyone checking in here. Stay here.
I am doing well. I still think about it a lot, and I read the posts and check in here all the time and play the interactive word games. I decided that I was just 100% ready to quit and that is the biggest advantage I have. I really was VeryReady. I am still convinced that I tried as hard as I could to control it. Just thankful I am done with that argument in my head. I am a loser when it comes to drinking.
Stressful fire season here in Colorado. Already evacuated once and everyone is on pins and needles. We have been lucky, but we had some lightning last night with almost no rain. We have a lot of standing dead trees in the state from a very bad beetle (pine beetle/Ips beetle) infestation. Literally millions of standing dead trees. Firemen are doing a great job, but man it gets old. We usually enter a wet season in July so hopefully it won't be like this all summer. No fun.
Good to see everyone checking in here. Stay here.
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
Good post as always VR. Moderation was also my fool's paradise, but boy it fooled me for a long time, so I can't be too critical of others trying it.
Stay safe and have a good weekend all.
Stay safe and have a good weekend all.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Great post VeryReady. I am totally throwing myself into AA and loving it. 6 meetings in 6 days after 6 weeks of thinking I can manage on my own steam and not going to my regular weekly meeting. I've got a sponsor and I'm studying the book. I feel like a different person to the resentment, anger and restlessness I felt these past 3 weeks.
I've also just found out I can subscribe to a thread so I get notified when people reply. It's amazing what you find when you poke about the site!
S x
I've also just found out I can subscribe to a thread so I get notified when people reply. It's amazing what you find when you poke about the site!
S x
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
Glad that you're feeling better Sazz and the steps are working for you. Recovery certainly isn't a straight arrow, something I think we're all coming to terms with here on this thread.
I had a bit of a strange experience today. One of co-workers has mentioned a few times that I should come out shooting with him. I'm not particularly interested and more importantly, my wife would kick me out of the house if she found out I fired a gun.
So anyways he was back at it today, mostly in jest, and said my wife would never know. I said except for the big bruise I would have on my shoulder. And he said "Just tell her you were out drinking beer with the boys and playing football."
This happened in the lunchroom in front of a lot of the other staff. It caught me kinda flat footed and I just yammered out something like "that wouldn't fly". But I was thinking, jeez, I'm almost 8 months sober now. At some I'm going to have to tell people I don't drink, kinda like coming out of the closet. I know in the past I haven't mentioned it because of fear of failure. But I realized I need to start having more confidence in myself and letting people know.
Short story long. Hope you're all getting the same fabulous summer weather I've got over here.
I had a bit of a strange experience today. One of co-workers has mentioned a few times that I should come out shooting with him. I'm not particularly interested and more importantly, my wife would kick me out of the house if she found out I fired a gun.
So anyways he was back at it today, mostly in jest, and said my wife would never know. I said except for the big bruise I would have on my shoulder. And he said "Just tell her you were out drinking beer with the boys and playing football."
This happened in the lunchroom in front of a lot of the other staff. It caught me kinda flat footed and I just yammered out something like "that wouldn't fly". But I was thinking, jeez, I'm almost 8 months sober now. At some I'm going to have to tell people I don't drink, kinda like coming out of the closet. I know in the past I haven't mentioned it because of fear of failure. But I realized I need to start having more confidence in myself and letting people know.
Short story long. Hope you're all getting the same fabulous summer weather I've got over here.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Nomis, what an experience today! Sounds to me like your HP or whoever is looking out for you us getting you ready for the confrontation that may happen one day. I've told my friends I'm not drinking any more. I've kept it light (this full honesty thing isn't my bag as I'm not convinced people need to know the full extent if where I've been). I simply tell them that I can't be bothered to drink anymore. One drink is pointless and I can't deal with hangovers and don't want to get drunk either so I may as well have none. Most people accept this logic. It is based on truth.
Today has been horrendous. Some very nasty, untrue complaints have been made about me at work. I've been in tears. I went to a meeting. I shared & cried again. I didn't drink. I so would have in the past.
I'm angry, but angry for the right reasons today. I'm not fearful or scared. I love AA. It's magic.
S x
Today has been horrendous. Some very nasty, untrue complaints have been made about me at work. I've been in tears. I went to a meeting. I shared & cried again. I didn't drink. I so would have in the past.
I'm angry, but angry for the right reasons today. I'm not fearful or scared. I love AA. It's magic.
S x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Thanks Dee. I'm 100% certain I would not be ok if I hadn't pulled my socks up and started working properly on my recovery last Wednesday.
I was scared back then, for my sobriety. Little did I know what was just around the corner. I think I have a guardian angel looking over me.
S x
I was scared back then, for my sobriety. Little did I know what was just around the corner. I think I have a guardian angel looking over me.
S x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
Hi all! Lots going on with you and I'm really proud of each of you for pushing through in these tough times. You are my inspiration that it can be done, and be done in a better, more healthy way for all involved. I have not walked in your shoes, I am many steps behind, but my only advice is keep pushing on my friends.
As for me, I am hanging in. Been VERY busy with the kids and work. Overwhelmingly so, but working hard on keeping it in check as I know that this is a major trigger for me. Next week I have a vacation, a week away at a private lake in the mountains that my kids and I and extended family treasure. No alcohol (I wish I could have said that in the past), but just good family memories this time. Really looking forward to this time away.
So, off to the pool, happy 4th to my American friends and good day to everyone else! Thank you all for being here! SR is a real treasure.
Kate
As for me, I am hanging in. Been VERY busy with the kids and work. Overwhelmingly so, but working hard on keeping it in check as I know that this is a major trigger for me. Next week I have a vacation, a week away at a private lake in the mountains that my kids and I and extended family treasure. No alcohol (I wish I could have said that in the past), but just good family memories this time. Really looking forward to this time away.
So, off to the pool, happy 4th to my American friends and good day to everyone else! Thank you all for being here! SR is a real treasure.
Kate
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Happy Holidays, American friends.
FMFT (Kate!) Hi I feel honoured to know each and every one of you. I'm on holiday today. No more work dramas for 5 days. I can't wait for a complete break. I feel so much better about myself and others this past 10 days. I don't recognise where I was several weeks ago.
It's a bumpy ride and I'm glad I have you all here for support.
As an aside, I've been really exploring my creative side. I've taken all sorts or craft tasters and sessions. I love to paint now and it's so therapeutic.
My personal training sessions are finishing this month. I feel so much better about myself. I can deadlift 40kg & I've lost 2kg and 6" in 2 months. I look like I've lost about a stone so it just goes to show that scales are not an accurate measure at all!
I'd love to hear from those that used to post in this thread, that I miss hearing from.
Have a great weekend
S x
FMFT (Kate!) Hi I feel honoured to know each and every one of you. I'm on holiday today. No more work dramas for 5 days. I can't wait for a complete break. I feel so much better about myself and others this past 10 days. I don't recognise where I was several weeks ago.
It's a bumpy ride and I'm glad I have you all here for support.
As an aside, I've been really exploring my creative side. I've taken all sorts or craft tasters and sessions. I love to paint now and it's so therapeutic.
My personal training sessions are finishing this month. I feel so much better about myself. I can deadlift 40kg & I've lost 2kg and 6" in 2 months. I look like I've lost about a stone so it just goes to show that scales are not an accurate measure at all!
I'd love to hear from those that used to post in this thread, that I miss hearing from.
Have a great weekend
S x
Doing Business Since 11/3/2012
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,143
Hi Everybody. Nice to hear from Everyone. Sazzle its great to hear how you are getting into some new things. I do not know what a stone is, but good job. Its great to see people expand in a positive direction here on SR. It is funny though, as I think my drinking ties into being obsessive and now I am pretty obsessive about my exercise and biking. I guess it's healthy, but I do think sometimes that I get a little crazy with it. Oh well.
FMFT - Enjoy your sober vacation. My impression of you and Sazzle, if I were to know you personally, is that you are two pretty tenacious ladies. I enjoy seeing the tough side of you here, insisting on making this work. Thanks.
Nomis - Your post actually made me laugh, just because how similar what we all go through is. Your lunchroom story. So many situations like this. I always think of something great I 'should have said' after the fact, but usually it's just like you write. Basically stammering. One guy in our office last week said 'VR can't be trusted, he doesn't drink anymore'. I should have said FU or something funny, but chose to mumble instead. This is why I have started to hang on to the one day at a time theme. It will all come eventually and I just try not to over-worry on these situations. Eventually it will be no big deal.
Long story of why, but yesterday I flew to Phoenix and drove back to Denver. I got a late start driving and still had 5 hours to go and it was already midnight. i70 on the west side of colorado is really dark and windy but the speed limit is 75. My eyes were really playing tricks on me and I just had to get off and take a nap. I really don't drive well at night, but as I was thinking about how I couldn't drive any more, I remembered the times I drank and drove in similar situations, super fast and with great confidence. Reminded me how lucky I was. All I could think was how is this so hard, I've done this drunk... Scary thought.
FMFT - Enjoy your sober vacation. My impression of you and Sazzle, if I were to know you personally, is that you are two pretty tenacious ladies. I enjoy seeing the tough side of you here, insisting on making this work. Thanks.
Nomis - Your post actually made me laugh, just because how similar what we all go through is. Your lunchroom story. So many situations like this. I always think of something great I 'should have said' after the fact, but usually it's just like you write. Basically stammering. One guy in our office last week said 'VR can't be trusted, he doesn't drink anymore'. I should have said FU or something funny, but chose to mumble instead. This is why I have started to hang on to the one day at a time theme. It will all come eventually and I just try not to over-worry on these situations. Eventually it will be no big deal.
Long story of why, but yesterday I flew to Phoenix and drove back to Denver. I got a late start driving and still had 5 hours to go and it was already midnight. i70 on the west side of colorado is really dark and windy but the speed limit is 75. My eyes were really playing tricks on me and I just had to get off and take a nap. I really don't drive well at night, but as I was thinking about how I couldn't drive any more, I remembered the times I drank and drove in similar situations, super fast and with great confidence. Reminded me how lucky I was. All I could think was how is this so hard, I've done this drunk... Scary thought.
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
Hey gang, nice to hear our little group is still going strong.
Sazzle, great to hear about your improved fitness. I've been running steady the past 8 months and have probably lost about a stone as well. Haha, you've got me, I don't actually know what a stone is, but I've shaved close to 9 kgs. Have fun on your vacay and remember to relax!
FMTM, same as well, have a great time getting away from "it" all. As for being a few steps behind, this isn't a race, and honestly it sounds like you're in a better place than most of us
VR, scary story, sobriety does bring perspective don't it? I remember driving with one eye open before so I would stop seeing double. And about not worrying part, well that takes some work. I'm on vacation now and I worry about everything. I'm sure that's linked up to my addiction in one way or another.
As for me folks, I would like to take this opportunity to announce the massive step I've have taken in my recovery. Today I had my very first counseling session with an addiction therapist. Equal parts terrifying and exciting, she basically wanted to know my whole life history and suggested that I may have experienced trauma as a child.
Lots of work ahead, but it feels good knowing that I've taken a concrete step of getting help from a professional in a real face-to-face situation. Just to let you guys know I gave a big shout out to you all when she asked me how I've been able to stay sober for the past 8 months. So thanks guys.
Sazzle, great to hear about your improved fitness. I've been running steady the past 8 months and have probably lost about a stone as well. Haha, you've got me, I don't actually know what a stone is, but I've shaved close to 9 kgs. Have fun on your vacay and remember to relax!
FMTM, same as well, have a great time getting away from "it" all. As for being a few steps behind, this isn't a race, and honestly it sounds like you're in a better place than most of us
VR, scary story, sobriety does bring perspective don't it? I remember driving with one eye open before so I would stop seeing double. And about not worrying part, well that takes some work. I'm on vacation now and I worry about everything. I'm sure that's linked up to my addiction in one way or another.
As for me folks, I would like to take this opportunity to announce the massive step I've have taken in my recovery. Today I had my very first counseling session with an addiction therapist. Equal parts terrifying and exciting, she basically wanted to know my whole life history and suggested that I may have experienced trauma as a child.
Lots of work ahead, but it feels good knowing that I've taken a concrete step of getting help from a professional in a real face-to-face situation. Just to let you guys know I gave a big shout out to you all when she asked me how I've been able to stay sober for the past 8 months. So thanks guys.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Haha Nomis & VR a stone is 6.3kg. And after working out that conversions, I realise I'm
2 stones (12kg) down in total since Dat 1!! I need to drop a couple more but I'm well happy with my progress.
VR your road trip sounds scary. It's amazing how lucky we have been in the past. We must have had someone looking over us.
I had to check in just now as I'm ok holiday and really struggling. I've just escaped while my friends were watching tennis and drinking. It's difficult to be away with drinkers and I think it may be too soon to go away.
I love that I logged in and saw that VR described me as tenacious. It was EXACTLY what I needed to read! Thank you.
It feels like my friends are strangers and that is so sad for me. I wish I had a sober buddy with me
S x
2 stones (12kg) down in total since Dat 1!! I need to drop a couple more but I'm well happy with my progress.
VR your road trip sounds scary. It's amazing how lucky we have been in the past. We must have had someone looking over us.
I had to check in just now as I'm ok holiday and really struggling. I've just escaped while my friends were watching tennis and drinking. It's difficult to be away with drinkers and I think it may be too soon to go away.
I love that I logged in and saw that VR described me as tenacious. It was EXACTLY what I needed to read! Thank you.
It feels like my friends are strangers and that is so sad for me. I wish I had a sober buddy with me
S x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Panama City, Panama
Posts: 116
Hey guys... had you all on my mind recently and wanted to check in to say hello. Still doing well down here in sunny Panama (which makes no one jealous right now)... actually it's more like rainy Panama this time of year. We are the tropical version of Seattle without a Starbucks and with 100% humidity. Made it through the school year and immediately started a 4 week intense Spanish course. While I still have learn A LOT what it has taught me the most is that I still know nothing! But at least people will get the "deer in the headlight" look because I am now actually understanding what they say and processing an elementary response, instead of just hoping I can pick up on key words and context clues. Still not drinking. Not sure what day I am on. Contemplating going to AA once school gets back in. Think it is time. BTW... My sister is still doing well too! Think she just hit 5 months. So proud of her!
Glad you all are doing well!
Made it through the school year and immediately started a 4 week intense Spanish course. While I still have learn A LOT what it has taught me the most is that I still know nothing! But at least people will get the "deer in the headlight" look because I am now actually understanding what they say and processing an elementary response, instead of just hoping I can pick up on key words and context clues. Still not drinking. Not sure what day I am on. Contemplating going to AA once school gets back in. Think it is time. BTW... My sister is still doing well too! Think she just hit 5 months. So proud of her! Glad you all are doing well!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Hi Sis. Lovely to hear from you. Your sister is doing fab! I'm going to AA and it feels like the right time for me. I really pushed against it at first, but it's helping me enormously now.
I did a Spanish night school once many many years back. I didn't get past 'my name is sazzle, and l have a white car' before I quit. I no longer have a white car so I couldn't speak to a Spaniard anymore!
S x
I did a Spanish night school once many many years back. I didn't get past 'my name is sazzle, and l have a white car' before I quit. I no longer have a white car so I couldn't speak to a Spaniard anymore!
S x
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