Dee74

Sorry for everyone having a hard time - it seems most of us are dealing with something this week, judging by my inbox.

FMFT i think it would be a great idea for you to join another thread. It doesn't mean you have to stop posting here, or stop being a Novie - but I think it's good for recovery to be with people who are at the same point of the journey too.

No need to wait til March tho - the February thread is open...there's the under 30 days thread too.

Of course it's up to you. Be where you feel comfortable and able to share.

The one thing I really want to get across to everyone is drinking will not make it better - thats the great alcoholic lie.

Remember back - really remember - play the tape through to the end - it didn;t make anything better, not really...made a lot of things worse tho.

Stay strong everyone - we're all in this together

D

veryready

Last night we watched 'Everything Must Go' with Will Farrell. I did not know anything about this movie, but thought it would be funny because Will Farrell is in it. Well it turns out to not be very funny (good but not funny) but is instead a movie about an alcoholic. Really interesting coincidence considering the conversations my wife and I have been having. I knew as soon as it started that he was an alcoholic, but my wife didn't get it until the end. I try not to recommend movies, but it made me not want to drink that is for sure. There were a lot of little things that I noticed in this movie that stood out that I could relate to. Things I think would go unnoticed by a non alcoholic.

I really liked it, but this is not an uplifting movie.

nomis

Hey gang,

FMFT, relapses are never easy, at least for me anyways. I know the last time I had a stretch of sobriety it took me a few years to attempt it again. And I was way too embarrassed to come back here and admit it so kudos to you. Just so you know, us Novies are kinda like the Mafia. Once you're in, you're in for life. Joking

Sisterella, sorry you're having a rough go. Cravings are something we are going to have to learn how to manage if we want to beat this thing. I know everybody here wishes we could just wake up one morning and think I'll never want to drink again, but we know that's not the way it works. Until somebody finds a cure for addiction.

Tomorrow is 110 days for me. Guess that counts as a mini milestone. Week hasn't been the best so far. Felt like a zombie on Monday, have a sneaking suspicion it's that darn PAWS biting me in the but. I think 110 days sounds sooooo much better than 3.5 months, but the reality is I have still only been sober for a very short period of time.
Seriously it feels like a year at least.

Keep hangin in there everyone.

Marine28

FMFT - I wrote a very long reply to your post and I don't know what happened to it. Maybe I somehow deleted it accidentally. In short I said that I had relapsed many many times and you can't sweat it. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. And you don't have to leave this thread. I still post on my "old" thread, too. Stay around, we would miss you! I also had an idea about the AA thing but will write more on that later.
VR - haven't heard of the movie. Is it recent or something to find in Netflix or Red Box?
Hi to everyone else out there!

Sazzle

Veryready - I saw that film back in NOvemver and it was a great film to watch. You are right, it's not uplifting but it's very true to the subject. I love Will Farrell as well and it was great to see him in a non comedy role.

Nomis - congratulations on your milestone. I've decided to stop counting after a year. I'm not checking it daily anymore but Monday was 4 months. A third of a year! I'm not wishing my life away, but in 2 months it will be 6 months. I am so proud of myself. Proud of all of all of us.

FMFT - I know you feel shame, but I also admire you dusting yourself off so quickly and posting in November thread and being accountable. One day soon you'll feel proud of that too as it's a big deal.

Have a great day everyone.

S x

veryready

Hi Marine - we watched it off of netflix.

phoebe64

Still here, still reading a few times a week. FMFT, sorry about your relapse. Please stay with us, even if you also join a current group. we love ya here! Part of the support is the history and familiarity as well as the recovery process and where you are. I miss the ones who have drifted away, but some of it is good. Assuming that we are here less largely because we are sober and doing well. I hope.

Coasting along here. Busy with kids, and spending time with the school stuff, dad's taxes, even though he is gone, ugh. Stuff. You all are busy with "stuff" too, I am sure.

Sisterella, I still have those feelings. often on a Saturday night as my dh cracks his Saturday beers. The worst id after a big drama with my 13 yo daughter. Boy, she can make me want to drink!

Good to see you June, VR, Sazz, Dee, Marine, and anyone I am missing.

Ro

Sisterella

This made me laugh ! Why you ask? Because the other day one of my friends on FB had posted a sign that said... "Be sure and buy your mother a bottle of wine for Mother's Day... Cause after all... YOU are one of the reasons she drinks.." Even though it didn't apply anymore I was till able to relate and chuckle !!

God knew what he was doing giving me two sarcastic boys instead of girls. The drama I deal with at the school every day with the girls there is enough for me... You are doing awesome! Just breathe in... breathe out... when ya need to and post here when you need to vent!

Sazzle

I saw that post in FB as well and I initially laughed, then thought how bad and how endemic alcohol is in our society, then chilled out and laughed again. I'm still obviously battling with my sense of humour now sober but I'm so glad you wrote what you did!

Last night I went out to a proper club (post 2am finish) for the first time since November. I really enjoyed myself. Danced loads (it helped the DJ was great), my drinks were cheap as chips and had fun.

It was really interesting to see things with sober eyes. One friend got really emotional, crying over nothing and another friend wanted to row with everyone. It was a large group of us though and conversation flowed as not everyone got obliterated.

I feel this is a huge milestone for me and the highlight of the night was my close buddies all jumping up and down cheering at me on the dance floor because they were impressed I was still sober. It's taught me I can lighten up and have fun if I want to and the company is right.

Today I'm cooking healthy meals for the freezer and off to a dinner party later. I got my 4m chip this week at AA. My emotions are all over the place still and I can have boundless energy but zero enthusiasm the next day. If I don't have a plan I can just hibernate all weekend.

Hope you're all good

S x

Sazzle

Hi Rochelle! Lovely to see you. We are all busier and I don't get on here as much as I feel I should. I certainly would be here like a shot if I was struggling. I read the newcomers every day but its great that we are busy.

S x

Sisterella

I completely understand! Thought twice about writing what the comment. These days the emotions go back and for between laughing at some stuff and getting that uptight (boarder line self righteous) recovering alcoholic "That's NOT funny" attitude. Facebook has become really interesting since quitting. Pics of drinks get noticed a LOT more and I can probably tell you exactly which people on my FB list are alcoholics. There are some things that still get laughed at on the inside, but it depends on who posts them, and the Like button rarely ever gets clicked on any of them any more. I don't get judgmental because not everyone has a problem with alcohol and many of the things are comical in the proper perspective. However I can also see how many people, who are struggling with recovery, would be offended at how flippantly people joke about it.

Just try to maintain a healthy sense of humor, and I've always been pretty good at laughing at myself.

Dancing sounds like so much fun. Enjoy dancing but I have no rhythm. If you look in the dictionary next to "white person who can't dance" there is actually a picture of me.

Marine28

Sis and Saz, I can so identify with your comments today. I rarely use Facebook since quitting drinking. In fact it is annoying me. I also rarely "like" anything. Before, i would "like" the dumbest things on FB. When I was drinking I did so many "drink and posts", it scares me. My emotions are also all over the place. Happy one day and then crying the next. Funny, but the "hard core" AA'ers around here call that "suffering from spiritual malady" and insist that it will go away if i faithfully work the steps. I haven't been to a meeting in over a month and am doing just fine. I did get some literature from SOS and am going to see if they have any meetings in the area.
My Mom is visiting for a few weeks so I am usually busy after work with her. I will miss her when she leaves, for sure. Have a good weekend everyone.

Bashforth

100 Days today! Feel great. Did my 90/90 meetings and now go 4 times a week. Incredible fellowship here in Chicago. Starting a new job on Monday and running my first 5K in April. Onwards and upwards!

Sisterella

Congrats Bash! That is awesome! I need to start running, or doing SOMETHING.

Marine so excited your Mom is coming to visit! Sorry your emotions are all over the place. Can relate to that too! Regarding the drunk posts... we used to call it PUTI (posting under the influence). So our line was Don't PUTI on Facebook!

BTW... had my first drinking dream in WEEKS last night. Woke up in a panic that I had thrown away over 100 days of sobriety and didn't understand why. Funny thing is that I used to have similar dreams that I had cheated on my husband and I would be devastated in the dream because I couldn't understand how I could have let that happen. Same type of dream, same emotional response. I wonder what Freud would say about that? Hmmmmmm.....

Sazzle

Bash, congrats on your 100 days. How awesome is that?! Well done.

Sis, I love the PUIT phrase. Like they say in AA about the past, when it comes to Facebook I look but don't stare. I rarely like things anymore, I've cropped a lot if drinking friends and I can also tell which of my friends are alcoholics too.

Marine, hope you have a lovely time with your mum.

Signing out on another late night (01:30!) and just so amazed and proud of myself that I am not socially ******** when sober! Have had a lovely meal and catch up with some close, but rarely seen, friends.

I'm signing out on day 125 (I know this because someone asked me tonight and I had to check my sober app). I suppose I'm something of a novelty still with old friends but I'm sure I'll get to the point when people stop asking me.

Sunday I'm meeting old Uni friends so I expect I'll get a few oohs and ahs from them as well. It's only natural as me and red wine went hand in hand. I saw then late November and I wasn't drinking then. I'm going to try the 'I don't drink line' and keep it casual. They'll all get used to me not drinking soon enough.

Life is good right now.

S x

veryready

Funny about facebook. I to have lost interest in it since I stopped drinking.

Took the kids skiing today. Wife is out of town so it was just me and the three. Really had an excellent time. My expectations were just not to get too frustrated with the 3 of them, but we had a great day. The little guy skied with me without a harness for the first time and this was the first time I let the big boys go off on their own. We have walkie talkies so we could stay in contact. I was nervous about it, but it was the best way for the 4 of us to enjoy the day. Its not fair to the older guys to have to hang back with the little guy. We are pretty cautious about setting them loose, but I just told them what lifts they could ride where I knew they couldn't get too lost. Worked out great and they had their best day skiing ever since they were doing their own thing (just a little).

Good to be home safe and sound. This is a typical event that would be rewarded with some of the best Colorado IPA, and a headache tomorrow. Sticking with Coffee.

Thanks for the posts. I really would prefer to see how everyone is doing here as opposed to FB. No BS here. I like to look at pictures and stuff on FB, but now it really seams like so much junk.

ForMeForThem

Hello all! Haven't posted in a few days, getting my thoughts together. So- I lurked a bit in the February class but didn't post. Now I'm lurking in the March class and we'll see. Haven't posted yet, but I'm reading it daily. To be honest, I'm not ready to post there. There's alot of traffic with it being early in the month and I remember in November how it feels to start to get to know some of the people and care about what happens and then they disappear. I can handle when someone slips or struggles but not when they just go away. That affected me alot for some time and not sure I want that right now (there's even a person I remember from early November that disappeared and is now back, which is great she came back but I had wondered for all these months what happened to her). I know it may sound strange coming from me, the relapser of our group, but I'll tell you this, I care too much about all of you and especially about my own sobriety to just go away. I may have fallen down a few times, but I will not stay down, I will not stop working at change and I will not dissappear. I promise you that. So...I guess you guys are stuck with me for the long haul

ForMeForThem

So now to reply to some of the posts...

I totally agree about facebook. I used to PUTI alot, how embarrassing. I call it bragbook now, I just don't see the point anymore. I log on once in awhile to catch up on some family members and see pictures. Like veryready, I prefer this site, more honest and real life.

When I used to see the funny pics and quotes about drinking, I used to say to myself, "see, I'm normal, they drink like this too, they're even joking about it. I must not be that bad". Now, although I do get a chuckle out of them, I then think, "I know I was bad and either they really are normal drinkers who can occassionally relax with a glass or two and that's why they find it funny or they are alcoholics too!" Interesting how when you really get honest with yourself, how much your perspective changes.

Even at work I now notice how much people talk about drinking. Busy day, go home and have a drink. Stressful day, go home and have a drink. Good day, go home and have a drink. I'm told on a regular basis at work, stop and get yourself a bottle of wine on the way home, you deserve it after today. I used to agree with them, and almost used their comments as justification that I must not have a problem. Now I see it (and them) for what it really is. Kind of off topic, but I thought this was really sad the other day a coworker was talking about her upcoming trip to LasVegas with her husband and 2 children in their twenties. Someone suggested driving to see the Hoover Dam one day, that is was an amazing site to see. She laughed and said, that won't happen, my kids will want to be drinking, that's what we'll be doing the whole time. What?!? I'm glad I'm seeing things in a different light before it's too late and my kids are grown and we've missed out on real life.

Sisterella

((((HUGS)))) FMFT!! Glad you are still with us. We are honored to be "stuck" with you! I peeked over and read the March thread yesterday too and I had to laugh a bit when I read your comment above because I know exactly what you mean. You are correct about people falling off. Based just on November there have been almost 130 people who have posted here... Only about 10% still do and only about 5% do on a regular basis. Proud of you for keeping at this even after a slip up.

ForMeForThem

I always love your statistics. Do you teach math at your school?

Meant to ask you too, how is your sister doing? I'm still keeping her in my prayers.