Class of May 2012 part 17
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Hey my beautiful Mayan buddies!
Checking in quick. My vacation is officially over. Parents left today and I am back to work tonight. I feel refreshed and ready to get back to the grind. Feeling very solid about never drinking again. Passed quite a few tests with the parents, vacation with my partner, difficult emotional conversation, feeling out of place at a birthday party. All would have been huge triggers in the past. Time seems to have lessened the power of lifes crap to affect my sober resolve. Its just not an option anymore. Finding other things to distract myself and just accepting the fact that I will be very uncomfortable at times seems to have taken hold. I say this with a little trepidation, but really it's just an understanding I need to stay on gaurd.
I wish i had time to give you all a personal shout out, but gotta get ready.
Lots of love to you all.
Checking in quick. My vacation is officially over. Parents left today and I am back to work tonight. I feel refreshed and ready to get back to the grind. Feeling very solid about never drinking again. Passed quite a few tests with the parents, vacation with my partner, difficult emotional conversation, feeling out of place at a birthday party. All would have been huge triggers in the past. Time seems to have lessened the power of lifes crap to affect my sober resolve. Its just not an option anymore. Finding other things to distract myself and just accepting the fact that I will be very uncomfortable at times seems to have taken hold. I say this with a little trepidation, but really it's just an understanding I need to stay on gaurd.
I wish i had time to give you all a personal shout out, but gotta get ready.
Lots of love to you all.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
H.R.B. glad you are back and had a nice vacation. You shared some great thoughts, sometimes we are uncomfortable with our feelings, but drinking is no longer an option.
Your post is so encouraging, just what I needed today
Bloss
Your post is so encouraging, just what I needed today
Bloss
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Rock, buddy, so good to hear from you! You have a very special place in my heart. I gather it wasn't an easy time for you but you do sound very committed. Wise to be on guard about sobriety and also wise to be shaping your life into what you want/need it to be.
Love and (((hugs)))
Sassy
Love and (((hugs)))
Sassy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
HRB-wonderful to hear from you, we missed you lots xxx
Bloss-there is an eating disorder thread on SR I believe? Might be worth checking out? I really hope you find some support for your issues too. It's been quite a revelation to me to find people who think the way I do, and that can only help with isolation. Now that we're sober, that leaves us clear headed enough to face other challenges in our lives. As HRB said, it's often about accepting that uncomfortable feelings will come our way. It doesn't trigger us because we just don't drink any more. I really wish the best for you my friend xxx
Bloss-there is an eating disorder thread on SR I believe? Might be worth checking out? I really hope you find some support for your issues too. It's been quite a revelation to me to find people who think the way I do, and that can only help with isolation. Now that we're sober, that leaves us clear headed enough to face other challenges in our lives. As HRB said, it's often about accepting that uncomfortable feelings will come our way. It doesn't trigger us because we just don't drink any more. I really wish the best for you my friend xxx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
I'm in awe of the chemistry that has developed in this group over the past 9 months-ish. Some of us post lots, others occasionally, some are cheerleaders, some are quietly supportive. Some share deep thoughts, some share day-to-day matters. ALL have made a big difference in my life in a most positive way. I feel I've been challenged to think more deeply about why I want to remain sober and I've also felt the love, support and acceptance from all of you.
So I feel it's time for me to thank each and every one of you! No, I'm not going away -- I feel my life is much richer by staying here and talking with this group.
(((hugs)))
Sassy
So I feel it's time for me to thank each and every one of you! No, I'm not going away -- I feel my life is much richer by staying here and talking with this group.
(((hugs)))
Sassy
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Southeast, USA
Posts: 631
....and across the pond comes your friend Lee who is still up with our dreaded curse of insomnia. I am not going to fight it tonight. I have an off campus trip with my students tomorrow and so it won't be a regular day, so I have my cell alarm set on 3 different alarms and will fall asleep when I do. I have found that if I fight it and get in bed it is actually worse. So I am just logging in here and chilling out for a while and hopefully sleep will come the less I fight it. But it is definitely frustrating with a full week of work ahead to be up right now at 1 am at night and needing to wake up at 6:30 am.
Superbowl was uneventful for me. I turned it off after half time and spent time with my wife and kids before they had to go to sleep. We had lots of good food and I did have an amazing weekend. First Super Bowl I have not had a drink on in forever. I would rather be awake with insomnia then tossing and turning and dreading tomorrow with a hangover. So I will take sleeplessness for now. I saw on television that February is the month in the US where most Americans are sleep deprived because of the longer periods of dark. I did have a long nap today so that could be the culprit but I do feel like I am in one of my annual cycles. Usually it hits me in January, so I guess it was late for the year.
I hope everyone has a good Monday. Two more days and I will be at 120! Feels pretty amazing!
Take care all,
Lee
Superbowl was uneventful for me. I turned it off after half time and spent time with my wife and kids before they had to go to sleep. We had lots of good food and I did have an amazing weekend. First Super Bowl I have not had a drink on in forever. I would rather be awake with insomnia then tossing and turning and dreading tomorrow with a hangover. So I will take sleeplessness for now. I saw on television that February is the month in the US where most Americans are sleep deprived because of the longer periods of dark. I did have a long nap today so that could be the culprit but I do feel like I am in one of my annual cycles. Usually it hits me in January, so I guess it was late for the year.
I hope everyone has a good Monday. Two more days and I will be at 120! Feels pretty amazing!
Take care all,
Lee
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Good morning, Mayans!
About that insomnia thing --- I have that occasionally. As far as I can tell, it seems to occur with greater frequency when I've been doing "thinking" work in the evening. Yesterday evening I was working on taxes and then had a really bad time falling asleep. If I have a quiet evening curled up with a light fiction book or watching Mindless TV, I don't usually have any problem falling asleep.
Oh well.....
Have a good day, all!
About that insomnia thing --- I have that occasionally. As far as I can tell, it seems to occur with greater frequency when I've been doing "thinking" work in the evening. Yesterday evening I was working on taxes and then had a really bad time falling asleep. If I have a quiet evening curled up with a light fiction book or watching Mindless TV, I don't usually have any problem falling asleep.
Oh well.....
Have a good day, all!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
Morning everyone
Saskia: speaking of insomnia, I drifted off to sleep fairly quickly last night, but woke around 3:00 a.m., couldn't get back to sleep until about 6:00 a.m. Then managed to doze for an hour or so. This happens to me fairly often, I try to calm my mind, but last night still had difficulty sleeping. Hope tonight's better for both of us. Have a pleasant Monday.
Bloss
Saskia: speaking of insomnia, I drifted off to sleep fairly quickly last night, but woke around 3:00 a.m., couldn't get back to sleep until about 6:00 a.m. Then managed to doze for an hour or so. This happens to me fairly often, I try to calm my mind, but last night still had difficulty sleeping. Hope tonight's better for both of us. Have a pleasant Monday.
Bloss
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
I have been painting all day. I'm exhausted. Sometimes painting is good in that I get in a zone and don't think much. But today was different. I've been battling some anxiety about death and dying. Had trouble falling asleep last night. Had a dream about it. And then all day today couldn't shake my thinking from it. I think it's being afraid about all the chemicals related to home renovation and that we've been doing it for about 7 months now. And I think it's because we haven't really given ourselves any downtime lately to enjoy life. It's been work, house, and plans keeping in touch with people. We're getting so close to the end of major house stuff, I cant seem to take a break. I already know I should take a break though. So just venting I guess. I hope everyone had a good day.
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Good Monday evening, May mates! Day 268 for the pink Pachster. (Psst! Our cherished You-Rock celebrates 9 sober months tomorrow!) I see insomnia is the topic of the "mo" as Teacher Jeni might say. Count me in on the sheep line-up. I keep waking up at 4am and can't get back to sleep. That alarm clock is most unwelcome, lately. Had pesky migraines all weekend, too, so that's likely a contributor.
Seemingly overnight I was assigned to four - yes, you read it right - four committees at work. The new term bantered about is "voluntold" (as opposed to volunteered), and sheesh, does that fit. I wouldn't mind so much if the commute wasn't soooo long. These extra assignments will keep me there later or keep me up later in the evenings or even working on my ultra-sacred weekends. No fair. Nuh uh. Waaaaahhhhh! So, if an elephant throws a tantrum in the forest (or the office) and no one is around to hear it...?!
Ah, well. There's always my dream of winning the big lottery.
Navigated successfully through the full-trigger Super Bowl, a.k.a. Stupor Bowl in my past life. Celebrated sobriety by going to bed early and getting to work today hangover-free. Barely any traffic, as many were apparently taking a day off from Sunday's too-hearty partying. Staying sober is the means to living life to the fullest, my beloved boaters! I can dig it.
Wishing everyone a sound sleep. And to all of our wonderful Mayans who haven't checked in for awhile... where the heck did you all go? Please send us a post, PM, and/or Thank You tag! We are missing you! Love and hugs to all.
P.S. Just saw your post, OneLess. Big Mammoth hugs of support to you, my friend. Try to squeeze in some time to take care of yourself. House projects can be overwhelming, even when the finish line is around the corner. Maybe a nice day away from the house with your hubby would refresh both of you (and your lungs)?
Seemingly overnight I was assigned to four - yes, you read it right - four committees at work. The new term bantered about is "voluntold" (as opposed to volunteered), and sheesh, does that fit. I wouldn't mind so much if the commute wasn't soooo long. These extra assignments will keep me there later or keep me up later in the evenings or even working on my ultra-sacred weekends. No fair. Nuh uh. Waaaaahhhhh! So, if an elephant throws a tantrum in the forest (or the office) and no one is around to hear it...?!
Ah, well. There's always my dream of winning the big lottery.Navigated successfully through the full-trigger Super Bowl, a.k.a. Stupor Bowl in my past life. Celebrated sobriety by going to bed early and getting to work today hangover-free. Barely any traffic, as many were apparently taking a day off from Sunday's too-hearty partying. Staying sober is the means to living life to the fullest, my beloved boaters! I can dig it.
Wishing everyone a sound sleep. And to all of our wonderful Mayans who haven't checked in for awhile... where the heck did you all go? Please send us a post, PM, and/or Thank You tag! We are missing you! Love and hugs to all.
P.S. Just saw your post, OneLess. Big Mammoth hugs of support to you, my friend. Try to squeeze in some time to take care of yourself. House projects can be overwhelming, even when the finish line is around the corner. Maybe a nice day away from the house with your hubby would refresh both of you (and your lungs)?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
OLL, I know the conflicting feelings of knowing I need a break and yet wanting to finish something. It's ok to vent! Sometimes that can help us to clarify things in our own minds. If not,it still helps. (((hugs)))
FP, sorry to hear we have a stressed out Pach! It sounds like I may need to drop off the pink Lambo for you to take for a delicious and relaxing spin. :day6
FP, sorry to hear we have a stressed out Pach! It sounds like I may need to drop off the pink Lambo for you to take for a delicious and relaxing spin. :day6
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
I love everyone here too!! Thanks for starting the love-fest Saskia! Everyone here, frequent poster, rare poster, or lurker is helpful, if only to know someone out there is "listening"
I snarked at your "Stupor-bowl" comment FP, how apt. I was reminiscing last night about how I'd previously used the Super Bowl as an excuse to over-do it, most times not really caring anything the game itself. It's been a long while since I drank at a Super Bowl party but I can recall some doozies of SuperBowls past in my early 20s....damn I am so glad I am not there any more. I turned the game on at approximately half-time and watched the lovely talented Beyonce perform -go Destiny's Child! Go chick rockers!!! and promptly turned it off until my 8 PM Downton Abbey reservation!
Way to go Rock on passing all the tests to your sobriety resolve. And OLL for making it through what was anticipated to be a difficult weekend.....although sorry about your anxiety today. The worry and anticipation is always much worse than reality, right??
Bloss, hugs to you as you address your other issues. Jeni too I don't know if this is true for everyone, but I think with the months of sobriety we are all amassing it is to be expected that other issues come to the surface. We all blotted them out for so long with booze. After we give our bodies a rest with self-medicating and start to handle life on life's terms, we can finally start to deal with stuff in a healthy way, and we can all expect some growing pains because of that. So hang in there everyone if things get tough, remember drinking is NOT an option and we all DESERVE TO BE SOBER!!!!
xoxo
I snarked at your "Stupor-bowl" comment FP, how apt. I was reminiscing last night about how I'd previously used the Super Bowl as an excuse to over-do it, most times not really caring anything the game itself. It's been a long while since I drank at a Super Bowl party but I can recall some doozies of SuperBowls past in my early 20s....damn I am so glad I am not there any more. I turned the game on at approximately half-time and watched the lovely talented Beyonce perform -go Destiny's Child! Go chick rockers!!!
and promptly turned it off until my 8 PM Downton Abbey reservation!Way to go Rock on passing all the tests to your sobriety resolve. And OLL for making it through what was anticipated to be a difficult weekend.....although sorry about your anxiety today. The worry and anticipation is always much worse than reality, right??
Bloss, hugs to you as you address your other issues. Jeni too
I don't know if this is true for everyone, but I think with the months of sobriety we are all amassing it is to be expected that other issues come to the surface. We all blotted them out for so long with booze. After we give our bodies a rest with self-medicating and start to handle life on life's terms, we can finally start to deal with stuff in a healthy way, and we can all expect some growing pains because of that. So hang in there everyone if things get tough, remember drinking is NOT an option and we all DESERVE TO BE SOBER!!!!xoxo
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
OLL-thoughts of death and dying are a horrid but common side effect of anxiety, I've had them too in the past. Big hugs to you. I had a flashback to standing at the window waiting for H to return in the car one day when he'd taken the kids out, and being utterly convinced they would all be killed in a motorway pile-up! Time for you to take a break my friend, even if you're close to the finish line with home improvements xxx
FP-so sorry to hear of your migraines and insomnia. Sounds like you're being given far too much to cope with at work. Is there no way to turn down the extra workload? Balance is so important. Hypocrite I hear you cry!! But take it from one who knows...xxx
Kitty-thank you for your lovely post. There is truly something magical about this group for sure xxx
Sassy and Lee and all those suffering from insomnia...yeah it truly is the pits. No answers from me but I do understand so well xxx
I'm continuing to face what I will call 'The Dark'. That place inside me that is all screwed up and hurt, like a ball of pain. It isn't easy and it is going to take time, but I hope it will lead eventually to me being able to face therapy/a doctor without completely freaking out. I'm sort of opening up that box where I keep it and looking briefly now. It isn't overwhelming but it is scary. I will get there. Work is ok and family life is brilliant, so now is my time. I shared for a long time at my meeting last night about relatively mundane things, but the fact I spoke shows me my confidence is growing.
Off to work. Love you all so so so much xxx
FP-so sorry to hear of your migraines and insomnia. Sounds like you're being given far too much to cope with at work. Is there no way to turn down the extra workload? Balance is so important. Hypocrite I hear you cry!! But take it from one who knows...xxx
Kitty-thank you for your lovely post. There is truly something magical about this group for sure xxx
Sassy and Lee and all those suffering from insomnia...yeah it truly is the pits. No answers from me but I do understand so well xxx
I'm continuing to face what I will call 'The Dark'. That place inside me that is all screwed up and hurt, like a ball of pain. It isn't easy and it is going to take time, but I hope it will lead eventually to me being able to face therapy/a doctor without completely freaking out. I'm sort of opening up that box where I keep it and looking briefly now. It isn't overwhelming but it is scary. I will get there. Work is ok and family life is brilliant, so now is my time. I shared for a long time at my meeting last night about relatively mundane things, but the fact I spoke shows me my confidence is growing.
Off to work. Love you all so so so much xxx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 63
Good evening Mayans,
Just wanted to say a quick hello
Life's ups and downs aside, everyone sounds really positive and in a solid place I'm so proud of all of us! You're such incredible people. Thanks so much for letting me share this wonderful journey with you.
I've been feeling really good. I have a couple days of work this week and then a nice long, much needed vacation starting Friday. Ahhh...
Wishing everyone sound and peaceful sleep filled with only good dreams.
Soleil
Just wanted to say a quick hello
Life's ups and downs aside, everyone sounds really positive and in a solid place I'm so proud of all of us! You're such incredible people. Thanks so much for letting me share this wonderful journey with you.
I've been feeling really good. I have a couple days of work this week and then a nice long, much needed vacation starting Friday. Ahhh...
Wishing everyone sound and peaceful sleep filled with only good dreams.
Soleil
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