Class of May 2012 part 17
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
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I don't know how I am. Feel sick and anxious and just wondering how I'm going to get through the day and the week. But this isn't a sobriety issue and I need to stop my anxiety over spilling onto this thread because it isn't fair on those struggling to stay sober. I don't want or need a drink so that's good.
Great to hear from you, hope you enjoyed the oscars. Love you loads xxx
Great to hear from you, hope you enjoyed the oscars. Love you loads xxx
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Personally I think there's a lot more to being sober than staying abstinent or not, Jeni.
I also reckon the issues you're facing as every bit as important as anyone else's issues, and vice versa
D
I also reckon the issues you're facing as every bit as important as anyone else's issues, and vice versa
D
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
I hear you. I too feel like the sober thing is more firm than ever. Ive been working a little harder on me the past month. Not sure things are really changing, but I sure am trying. I think this is an odd time on the sobriety calendar. Maybe Dee can shed some light for us, but I feel like things are more in focus and I recognize my issues and no longer believe drinking is one of them... Or even that drinking caused any of them. It just made everything SO much worse. I have work to do and thank goodness drinking is not getting in my way anymore. I just question what to accept and what to work on changing.
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Well, I never got past thinking drinking wasn't one of my issues - I think it still is, even if I haven't drunk for night on 6 years...but I definitely came to realise it was one of the ways I tried to deal with a lot of other deeper issues too.
I talk a lot about the void I tried to fill...I found out it's unfillable.
I needed to focus instead on healing the void.
I wanted to heal the void, and be the best person I could be - for me, that meant dealing with a lot of old musty stuff....
D
I talk a lot about the void I tried to fill...I found out it's unfillable.
I needed to focus instead on healing the void.
I wanted to heal the void, and be the best person I could be - for me, that meant dealing with a lot of old musty stuff....
D
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Yeah, and today is significant because 9 months ago tonight was the last time I drank. And what a terrible time that was. Maybe that's at the back of my mind too. Don't know.
Today I'm back to work so I've got to put my smile on and support everyone else. Their issues are just as important to them and its my job to be the calm and positive one, so that's what I will do.
Thank you Dee xxx
Today I'm back to work so I've got to put my smile on and support everyone else. Their issues are just as important to them and its my job to be the calm and positive one, so that's what I will do.
Thank you Dee xxx
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Congratulations on 9 Months Jeni!
image-2407338434.jpg
I saw this and thought it would be a nice pic to celebrate 9 months of growing, sometimes painful. But we are making stable branches and roots now that will lead to a wonderful future.
image-2407338434.jpg
I saw this and thought it would be a nice pic to celebrate 9 months of growing, sometimes painful. But we are making stable branches and roots now that will lead to a wonderful future.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
Day 17. My moods are starting to get back to normal, but the AV... is being as annoying as I've come to expect. She thinks my resolve is less, and over the next couple of weeks she's really going to try to grind me into the dirt.
I don't know why, but this last slip really seems to have got to me. I know that looking at steps 2 and 3 has brought up some stuff.
It's not that I don't have faith. I do. I know that prayers get answered. Just not mine. There was a time when I prayed for my mother every night. And when she was diagnosed with lung cancer... I carried on. After her operation was put back, I prayed that it wouldn't get put back again. And carried on, even after it was put back another three times.
I hear a lot about God's will, and how we should bear that in mind when we pray, and, to me, that starts to sound a lot like saying that stuff will happen regardless.
I also hear a lot about how it's the 'God of your understanding'. Which is fair enough, but there are times when it seems as if there's a bit of a knowing wink and a 'but of course, eventually you'll realise it's...'
And that bothers me.
I have no problem with what anyone else believes (or doesn't). I don't have any issues with the idea of a creator. But there are a wholebuncha things that I do have issues with. And yes, I know, it says to get rid of the baggage that comes with the whole 'God thing'. And sometimes the sales pitch is a little too keen.
As for me, I managed to get up reasonably early today, and not oversleep. I'm off to a meeting in a little while. Depressingly, it's a chip meeting, and I would have been picking up my 7 month chip. When I get back, I'll try and do a little writing.
I'm going to try and stick closer to here as well.
I have to beat this. If I don't, one day I'll find myself in the same place I was 14 months ago. And I doubt I'll be so lucky next time.
Have a good day folks. Be gentle with yourselves, and remember that the past is the past, and while we can't change it, we don't have to let it chain us.
Love and Hugs to you all. x x x
I don't know why, but this last slip really seems to have got to me. I know that looking at steps 2 and 3 has brought up some stuff.
It's not that I don't have faith. I do. I know that prayers get answered. Just not mine. There was a time when I prayed for my mother every night. And when she was diagnosed with lung cancer... I carried on. After her operation was put back, I prayed that it wouldn't get put back again. And carried on, even after it was put back another three times.
I hear a lot about God's will, and how we should bear that in mind when we pray, and, to me, that starts to sound a lot like saying that stuff will happen regardless.
I also hear a lot about how it's the 'God of your understanding'. Which is fair enough, but there are times when it seems as if there's a bit of a knowing wink and a 'but of course, eventually you'll realise it's...'
And that bothers me.
I have no problem with what anyone else believes (or doesn't). I don't have any issues with the idea of a creator. But there are a wholebuncha things that I do have issues with. And yes, I know, it says to get rid of the baggage that comes with the whole 'God thing'. And sometimes the sales pitch is a little too keen.
As for me, I managed to get up reasonably early today, and not oversleep. I'm off to a meeting in a little while. Depressingly, it's a chip meeting, and I would have been picking up my 7 month chip. When I get back, I'll try and do a little writing.
I'm going to try and stick closer to here as well.
I have to beat this. If I don't, one day I'll find myself in the same place I was 14 months ago. And I doubt I'll be so lucky next time.
Have a good day folks. Be gentle with yourselves, and remember that the past is the past, and while we can't change it, we don't have to let it chain us.
Love and Hugs to you all. x x x
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