Class of May 2012 part 17
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
OLL-well look at you!! Only giving up for a week? And now you're one of the strong ones here, leading the way with your courage and determination. How cool and inspiring are you? You are so important to me and have helped me every step of this bumpy journey.
AND you recognise that AV however sneaky it tries to be!
You are one helluva brilliant sweet funny honest person....go girl!!
I'm doing really well at the moment. Work stress has calmed as much as its likely to. It's still scary and manic and very challenging for me, but that's the nature of the job. And I've got the support I need there now.
Home life is good. The kids are happy and things are really kind of lovely between me and H.
Soooo-time to tackle a few things I've tucked away for a while. The things that keep me awake at night. The flashbacks and the night terrors, the walking around in the garden at 2a.m trying to chase away memories. Those things...
I'm seeking some help, not f2f yet, I can't do that. But I've found, with the help of someone on this forum, somewhere safe on-line that I can at least get some of my stuff out and know that it will be ok. I need to move forward with this, but its got to be at my own pace. I'm strong in so many ways, but not with this. Not at all. I'm going to take a step back from my meetings. They take too much of my time, and as my home is a safe sober place to be now, I will continue to work the AA programme but not at the pace I was. I'm in no danger of relapse but I will step it up again if I feel it slipping.
It all feels kind of positive. I need to slightly change direction but not too far that it becomes dangerous. Sobriety will always come first.
Hope you all have a fun day. Love you all xxx
AND you recognise that AV however sneaky it tries to be!
You are one helluva brilliant sweet funny honest person....go girl!!
I'm doing really well at the moment. Work stress has calmed as much as its likely to. It's still scary and manic and very challenging for me, but that's the nature of the job. And I've got the support I need there now.
Home life is good. The kids are happy and things are really kind of lovely between me and H.
Soooo-time to tackle a few things I've tucked away for a while. The things that keep me awake at night. The flashbacks and the night terrors, the walking around in the garden at 2a.m trying to chase away memories. Those things...
I'm seeking some help, not f2f yet, I can't do that. But I've found, with the help of someone on this forum, somewhere safe on-line that I can at least get some of my stuff out and know that it will be ok. I need to move forward with this, but its got to be at my own pace. I'm strong in so many ways, but not with this. Not at all. I'm going to take a step back from my meetings. They take too much of my time, and as my home is a safe sober place to be now, I will continue to work the AA programme but not at the pace I was. I'm in no danger of relapse but I will step it up again if I feel it slipping.
It all feels kind of positive. I need to slightly change direction but not too far that it becomes dangerous. Sobriety will always come first.
Hope you all have a fun day. Love you all xxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
Saturday
Morning all
Lots of positive vibes here today with the May group. All is well today for me, no random urges to drink since visit with my sister early in the week.
OLL: inspiring post your sober journey
Saskia: great thoughts about noticing how we are feeling and why
Jeni: you seem so much happier and content
Stay well and have a great day
Bloss
Morning all
Lots of positive vibes here today with the May group. All is well today for me, no random urges to drink since visit with my sister early in the week.
OLL: inspiring post your sober journey
Saskia: great thoughts about noticing how we are feeling and why
Jeni: you seem so much happier and content
Stay well and have a great day
Bloss
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Jeni, I'm happy for you that you've found a resource that will likely help you! You have so dramatically turned your life around -- it is totally inspiring!
Bloss, happy to hear you've had no random urges to drink since sister. I think we all have at least some triggers but with time they can exert less power over us. I agree with you about OLL's inspiring journey. And I think each person here is an inspiration for me. I may be the laggard of the group but that doesn't change my determination to change. I ordered some SMART Recovery basic materials and they arrived yesterday. I plan to start work on them today with the goal of strengthening my resolve and giving myself all the tools I can find.
Enjoy the day!
Bloss, happy to hear you've had no random urges to drink since sister. I think we all have at least some triggers but with time they can exert less power over us. I agree with you about OLL's inspiring journey. And I think each person here is an inspiration for me. I may be the laggard of the group but that doesn't change my determination to change. I ordered some SMART Recovery basic materials and they arrived yesterday. I plan to start work on them today with the goal of strengthening my resolve and giving myself all the tools I can find.
Enjoy the day!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Sassy, you ARE NOT the laggard of the group!!!
I won't hear it!
You are a strong resourceful woman who helps each and every one of us!! And we love you. Each of our journeys are personal to us, and although we share many similarities, we also have differences. We move at our own pace.
Do not beat yourself up now. Every step forward is to be celebrated xxxxxxx
I won't hear it!
You are a strong resourceful woman who helps each and every one of us!! And we love you. Each of our journeys are personal to us, and although we share many similarities, we also have differences. We move at our own pace.
Do not beat yourself up now. Every step forward is to be celebrated xxxxxxx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Thank you guys for the positive response. I was worried I had opened a can of worms and don't want anyone to think I mis-led them. I don't know why I've felt a little thoughts of wavering lately. It's bothering me but like saskia said, that's when a group like this helps, so I wanted to be honest and get it out. Just about to go out with another couple who knew I took a break from drinking months ago. And I think they're going to be surprised to know that I'm still not drinking. I didn't think it was going to be a problem until I talked to one of them today. I'm not drinking but I think it's going to be weird. They have kids now so get "out" very infrequently. I'm sensing they think this is going to be rowdy but its not. We'll see. This friend has had a lot of influence on me in the past, and I hope my newfound unbreakability does not cause a rift. I feel like I sound like I'm looking for attention. I'm not. I really just need to verbalized everything to help plan ahead. And of course I never think that when others do the same thing. Ack. Ok I'm off with you all in my pocket. It's ok that you guys are still my security blanket 8 months in right?
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Happy Saturday, my beloved May mates! Sounds like everyone checking in is doing a fine job in sobriety, so way to go, boaters! I was away on biz for a couple of days with no Internet! Can you believe that? How does that happen in 2013??? Had a really nice time, otherwise. Stayed in a large, quiet hotel room overlooking the city lights. Big jacuzzi beckoned, but I had too much to do and not enough time for sleep if I'd caved and enjoyed a good jet-tub soak. Met up with a few former colleagues that I hadn't seen in years, so the gabfest lasted until the wee hours. The best part about the trip was being social and getting away from the hometown routine. Now I'm wiped out after getting home late last night.
Many booze temptations, as our conference took place in a swanky casino. I was good, though, and one of my buddies is also a non-drinker. Shirley Temples and cranberry juice were our unspoken drinks of choice. I ate so much - and too much - great food. Hence the out-of-shape Mammoth entering the back seat of our sober wagon, Sas.
After being off of my regular feed for a few days, my digestive tract is complaining mightily. My system can't handle fried and rich food like it used to. And if I'd have washed it down with a bottle of wine, the acid would have brought up fire streaks of heartburn, for sure. Day 266 and hanging tough.
Groundhog Day today. Punxatawney Phil did not see his shadow, so that means spring is coming early, yay!!! Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend. Mammoth hugs of love to all.
elephant-snufflin'.jpg
Many booze temptations, as our conference took place in a swanky casino. I was good, though, and one of my buddies is also a non-drinker. Shirley Temples and cranberry juice were our unspoken drinks of choice. I ate so much - and too much - great food. Hence the out-of-shape Mammoth entering the back seat of our sober wagon, Sas.
After being off of my regular feed for a few days, my digestive tract is complaining mightily. My system can't handle fried and rich food like it used to. And if I'd have washed it down with a bottle of wine, the acid would have brought up fire streaks of heartburn, for sure. Day 266 and hanging tough. Groundhog Day today. Punxatawney Phil did not see his shadow, so that means spring is coming early, yay!!! Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend. Mammoth hugs of love to all.
elephant-snufflin'.jpg
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
just popping into say hi - I have a few busy days ahead of me outside SR this week
I'm proud of all you guys and the improvements you've made & the achievements you've fought for and gained...keep on keeping on, my friends
D
I'm proud of all you guys and the improvements you've made & the achievements you've fought for and gained...keep on keeping on, my friends
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
Saturday afternoon:
Dee: See you soon!
F.P.: Shirley Temples, haven't thought of those in a while. I used to have those as child, tasty from what I remember. I always tell myself, I can exercise off those extra calories, but a hangover and all the sadness drinking brings me is a different story. Glad you were able to connect with old friends and you had a sober buddy.
OLL: You have a plan, good! Enjoy yourself and stay in touch.
Jeni: I need my security blanket too, really helps when the going gets tough
Saskia: I looked around my bookcase and have a copy of the Smart Manual, have to look at it again, good source of support
I have to go do a few chores, the get ready to go pick up H's parents.
Have nice evening everyone
Bloss
Dee: See you soon!
F.P.: Shirley Temples, haven't thought of those in a while. I used to have those as child, tasty from what I remember. I always tell myself, I can exercise off those extra calories, but a hangover and all the sadness drinking brings me is a different story. Glad you were able to connect with old friends and you had a sober buddy.
OLL: You have a plan, good! Enjoy yourself and stay in touch.
Jeni: I need my security blanket too, really helps when the going gets tough
Saskia: I looked around my bookcase and have a copy of the Smart Manual, have to look at it again, good source of support
I have to go do a few chores, the get ready to go pick up H's parents.
Have nice evening everyone
Bloss
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
FP-your trip sounds good, well done on the sober front....no Internet?!?! That is outrageous!!! Hope you stamped your mammoth feet and shook that casino in disgust!
Do they really have a Groundhog Day? I thought that was just a film. My life can sometimes seem a bit like it..he he!
Well it's getting late here. Suppose I really should go to bed. I've had such a lovely day, I don't want it to end. H and I have been choosing holiday destinations for the summer, and we're going away for a few days in a couple of weeks. Though obviously nowhere without Internet...that would be just plain ridiculous!!!
Sweet dreams everyone xx
Great to hear from Dee, that was the shortest weekend break I've ever known mind you!xx
Do they really have a Groundhog Day? I thought that was just a film. My life can sometimes seem a bit like it..he he!
Well it's getting late here. Suppose I really should go to bed. I've had such a lovely day, I don't want it to end. H and I have been choosing holiday destinations for the summer, and we're going away for a few days in a couple of weeks. Though obviously nowhere without Internet...that would be just plain ridiculous!!!
Sweet dreams everyone xx
Great to hear from Dee, that was the shortest weekend break I've ever known mind you!xx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Aussie
Posts: 382
Hey Guys,
Sorry for the radio silence but I needed to take a break from everything for a while.
The news for me is that on the trip interstate last year in december I did drink. What can I say? I was back with my friends and there where bbq's and dinner parties full of alcohol. I didn't get drunk, I just had 1 or 2 and sipped water.
I drank over christmas time and got disgraceful, seriously still ashamed of that episode.
I got help and my sobriety date is the 1/01/2013 and today I had 33 days of sobriety. Which I think is the longest sobriety time since the 4month sobriety I started in may.
I can't be online here to much because I've found my posts are actually triggering for me to drink because when I post something negative it stays in my head all day and I concentrate on that small piece of negativity. Which then leads to anxiety and gives me a reason to drink.
It's still early days but I'm feeling better and I think therapy is helping in addressing and changing the behaviour patterns that make me drink.
I love you all. I'll post an update whenever I can but Uni starts soon so I'm going to be very busy again.
Sorry for the radio silence but I needed to take a break from everything for a while.
The news for me is that on the trip interstate last year in december I did drink. What can I say? I was back with my friends and there where bbq's and dinner parties full of alcohol. I didn't get drunk, I just had 1 or 2 and sipped water.
I drank over christmas time and got disgraceful, seriously still ashamed of that episode.
I got help and my sobriety date is the 1/01/2013 and today I had 33 days of sobriety. Which I think is the longest sobriety time since the 4month sobriety I started in may.
I can't be online here to much because I've found my posts are actually triggering for me to drink because when I post something negative it stays in my head all day and I concentrate on that small piece of negativity. Which then leads to anxiety and gives me a reason to drink.
It's still early days but I'm feeling better and I think therapy is helping in addressing and changing the behaviour patterns that make me drink.
I love you all. I'll post an update whenever I can but Uni starts soon so I'm going to be very busy again.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Jeni, thank you for looking out for me! No, I don't feel I'm beating myself up-- just another Internet miss-- I meant that I'm late getting sober but am not down on myself :-). Nice to hear that you and H will be taking a vacation. Groundhog Day is a big deal here in the northeast US because we are all tired of winter by now and are so hoping for spring.
OLL, IMHO it's never too late to look for support in our lives. I think it's natural to sometimes go through a phase of wondering whether we need to be 100% sober and also sometimes rebelling against what can be perceived as the strictures of sobriety. You are an awesome lady and just go by your instincts!
Ok, time for Mammoth to get back into the exercise routine so we don't permanently become the Mayan pancake team.
Seriously, though, glad to hear you got away for a bit 
Great to hear from you, Jane! We all need to figure out what our own needs are and no two of us have identical needs. Glad you are still working on sobriety and I respect your need to do what's best for you. It's nice if you pop in now and then!
Bloss, I hope you have a nice evening, too!
Rock, good buddy, I'm thinking of you, knowing that you have much going on. You sounded calm and sure of yourself and I trust your instincts on this.
OLL, IMHO it's never too late to look for support in our lives. I think it's natural to sometimes go through a phase of wondering whether we need to be 100% sober and also sometimes rebelling against what can be perceived as the strictures of sobriety. You are an awesome lady and just go by your instincts!
Ok, time for Mammoth to get back into the exercise routine so we don't permanently become the Mayan pancake team.
Seriously, though, glad to hear you got away for a bit Great to hear from you, Jane! We all need to figure out what our own needs are and no two of us have identical needs. Glad you are still working on sobriety and I respect your need to do what's best for you. It's nice if you pop in now and then!
Bloss, I hope you have a nice evening, too!
Rock, good buddy, I'm thinking of you, knowing that you have much going on. You sounded calm and sure of yourself and I trust your instincts on this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Morning all.
SJD-it's great to hear from you. Congratulations on your 33 days, and good to hear you've got support. That takes strength and courage. Post whenever you need to, we will be here for you xxx
Sassy-glad you're doing ok. The first few weeks are the hardest, but I've got faith in you. You can do this xxx
OLL-how did it go last night? I was thinking of you. You're my hero by the way xxx
Bloss-hope you have a lovely day xxx
HRB-hope you're ok my friend. Let us know how you're doing when you can xxx
Em-where are you? Missing your posts......xxx
I'm planning another quiet family day today, and they are the best. Starting to address other issues in my life is proving to be a real turning point for me. I'm now beginning to separate my alcoholism from my baggage and having found a safe place to begin to open up, I can start to make (very slow) progress with this. It also means I can spare you all my desperate early morning despairing posts. I've found a group of people who do exactly the same! And that's a real eye opener and oddly comforting to me because its never a good thing to feel you're the only one who feels a particular way.
Hope you all have a fantastic day. I love you all so so much xxx
SJD-it's great to hear from you. Congratulations on your 33 days, and good to hear you've got support. That takes strength and courage. Post whenever you need to, we will be here for you xxx
Sassy-glad you're doing ok. The first few weeks are the hardest, but I've got faith in you. You can do this xxx
OLL-how did it go last night? I was thinking of you. You're my hero by the way xxx
Bloss-hope you have a lovely day xxx
HRB-hope you're ok my friend. Let us know how you're doing when you can xxx
Em-where are you? Missing your posts......xxx
I'm planning another quiet family day today, and they are the best. Starting to address other issues in my life is proving to be a real turning point for me. I'm now beginning to separate my alcoholism from my baggage and having found a safe place to begin to open up, I can start to make (very slow) progress with this. It also means I can spare you all my desperate early morning despairing posts. I've found a group of people who do exactly the same! And that's a real eye opener and oddly comforting to me because its never a good thing to feel you're the only one who feels a particular way.
Hope you all have a fantastic day. I love you all so so much xxx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Good morning, dear Mayans!
Jeni, so glad you have found a safe place to deal with those other issues. I've understood those panicky messages and they only bothered me in the sense that I knew you were hurting and I felt there wasn't much I could do to help except be supportive. I think you will find that by the time you have dealt with much of the history, your life will be enormously changed. You've already gone through many awesome changes and what you are doing now wouldn't be possible without sobriety. You are definitely not alone!
Em, I'm missing your posts, too!
I hope the rest of you are good today...Tanja? Lee? OLL? Bloss? Rock? Pach? Dee? SJD? FindingSoleil? COAlpha? And of course anyone else I missed due to my slowly deteriorating memory - please don't consider that a slight!
Have a great day!
Love and (((hugs)))
Sassy
Jeni, so glad you have found a safe place to deal with those other issues. I've understood those panicky messages and they only bothered me in the sense that I knew you were hurting and I felt there wasn't much I could do to help except be supportive. I think you will find that by the time you have dealt with much of the history, your life will be enormously changed. You've already gone through many awesome changes and what you are doing now wouldn't be possible without sobriety. You are definitely not alone!
Em, I'm missing your posts, too!
I hope the rest of you are good today...Tanja? Lee? OLL? Bloss? Rock? Pach? Dee? SJD? FindingSoleil? COAlpha? And of course anyone else I missed due to my slowly deteriorating memory - please don't consider that a slight!
Have a great day!
Love and (((hugs)))
Sassy
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Southeast, USA
Posts: 631
Good morning to everyone.
SJD, I can TOTALLY relate to what happened to you. I am now on day 117 and I made it to around 100 days a couple of times since March of last year. The best thing to do is really analyze what made you do it and continue to NOT drink. And don't beat yourself up by the starting over at zero thing. I do that to myself. Celebrate all of the sober days you have racked up since you started. There is something about the around-100 day mark that trips me up. I think I start to think I could drink normally, but I think I have finally learned my lesson. I'm quite sure this is it for me now. It can be for you too. Just don't pick up anymore and be kind to yourself.
Hope everyone has a great day. I had a tough week last week work-wise and it has taken the whole weekend to recuperate. I hope this week lightens up a bit. Jeni can attest that our line of work is so MENTALLY fatiguing. Most people really don't realize that. When my friends all talk about all of my vacation days they don't realize that a) I earned them and b) education is a tough field mentally and you NEED the days to rest.
Having a cookout today with the family and going to watch the Superbowl. It has always been a trigger for me but not this year. Not really into the teams playing and feel too strong not drinking. I read somewhere that tomorrow is one of the most-missed days of the work year for folks....recovering from those Super Bowl hangovers. Not me. Ever. Again.
Have a good one,
Lee
SJD, I can TOTALLY relate to what happened to you. I am now on day 117 and I made it to around 100 days a couple of times since March of last year. The best thing to do is really analyze what made you do it and continue to NOT drink. And don't beat yourself up by the starting over at zero thing. I do that to myself. Celebrate all of the sober days you have racked up since you started. There is something about the around-100 day mark that trips me up. I think I start to think I could drink normally, but I think I have finally learned my lesson. I'm quite sure this is it for me now. It can be for you too. Just don't pick up anymore and be kind to yourself.
Hope everyone has a great day. I had a tough week last week work-wise and it has taken the whole weekend to recuperate. I hope this week lightens up a bit. Jeni can attest that our line of work is so MENTALLY fatiguing. Most people really don't realize that. When my friends all talk about all of my vacation days they don't realize that a) I earned them and b) education is a tough field mentally and you NEED the days to rest.
Having a cookout today with the family and going to watch the Superbowl. It has always been a trigger for me but not this year. Not really into the teams playing and feel too strong not drinking. I read somewhere that tomorrow is one of the most-missed days of the work year for folks....recovering from those Super Bowl hangovers. Not me. Ever. Again.
Have a good one,
Lee
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Happy but not surprised that you're doing so well, Lee! And yes, I do get it as far as teachers stress and work load. I saw the toll it took on a very close friend who is now a retired teacher. The expectations for teachers has changed so dramatically. I salute all of our dedicated teachers!
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 30+ DAYS MILESTONE, SOBERJANE!!!
Mammoth is skateboarding right by your side as we rack up our gloriously booze-free days together! I am very proud of you for getting back into our sober wagon in a phenomenal show of sober strength. Much love to you!
elephant-skateboarding.jpg
Mammoth is skateboarding right by your side as we rack up our gloriously booze-free days together! I am very proud of you for getting back into our sober wagon in a phenomenal show of sober strength. Much love to you!
elephant-skateboarding.jpg
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
Morning Mayans
The play we took H's parents to was a comedy, we had a nice time. I'm going to do a few household chores, yoga watch the Suoer Bowl.
SJD: thanks for checking in, really smart to take care of yourself in the way which works best for you.
Saskia: have a nice Sunday
Jeni: I like the idea of specific support groups to fit different issues, I'm looking into help for isolation and eating disorders.
Em, Oll, HRB, Tanja, F.P. everyone I missed...have a great day
Bloss
Have a great day everyone,
The play we took H's parents to was a comedy, we had a nice time. I'm going to do a few household chores, yoga watch the Suoer Bowl.
SJD: thanks for checking in, really smart to take care of yourself in the way which works best for you.
Saskia: have a nice Sunday
Jeni: I like the idea of specific support groups to fit different issues, I'm looking into help for isolation and eating disorders.
Em, Oll, HRB, Tanja, F.P. everyone I missed...have a great day
Bloss
Have a great day everyone,
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Hey all, just wanted to check in and let you know I had a great night last night. Nothing like what I was worried about leading up to it. Have been busy on the house this am and have my mom and stepdad coming over for dinner. Things just don't feel the same with them anymore, but I'm trying to do the best with what I got feelings-wise, and at the very least not stressing over it.
SJD it's good to hear from you. By all means do whatever it takes to be the best sober you.
Jeni, I'm really glad you have found some other resources to battle the insomnia and baggage at the pace you feel comfortable. I was never bothered by your despairing early morning posts. Only, like saskia said, helpless. You're my hero.
FP glad to hear you were able to shine in sobriety through your trip away with many drinking opportunities. And without the Internet and SR? You are a champion!
HRB hope things are going well and that you're just baskin in the sun listening to those waves. When are you back?
Bloss I love comedy shows! Glad you had a good time. Hope your yoga goes well! Good luck in the Super Bowl!
I hope everyone has a good day!
SJD it's good to hear from you. By all means do whatever it takes to be the best sober you.
Jeni, I'm really glad you have found some other resources to battle the insomnia and baggage at the pace you feel comfortable. I was never bothered by your despairing early morning posts. Only, like saskia said, helpless. You're my hero.
FP glad to hear you were able to shine in sobriety through your trip away with many drinking opportunities. And without the Internet and SR? You are a champion!
HRB hope things are going well and that you're just baskin in the sun listening to those waves. When are you back?
Bloss I love comedy shows! Glad you had a good time. Hope your yoga goes well! Good luck in the Super Bowl!
I hope everyone has a good day!
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