Dee74

It really does work Jane...just try and take it easy...breathe in and out - get the air in there - try and focus on that for a while

D

OneLessLonely

SJD, I'm sorry you're having a panic attack. I think urge surfing is a great way to deal with this. We are here for you.

Saskia

Hang in there, Jane! A panic attack is miserable but it can be managed with some practice.

Dee74

how are you now SJD?

D

Soberjanedoe

I'm good. I surfed it out! I went to the hairdresser and got my hair washed and blow dried for a spoil and then bumped into some old friends I hadn't seen in months and we had a big catch up.

Dee74

awesome!

D

Jeni26

Morning everyone.

Jane, so pleased you got over your panic attack, they are so frightening xxx. So pleased the breathing helped. Holding your breath is what you do naturally when anxiety hits and focusing on that will see you through. You're doing great. Reading your post reminded me of when I was giving birth to our son. It seemed like I held my breath for about 12 hours, obviously I didn't, but I passed out at one point due to lack of oxygen. Our bodies when in stress mode do all sorts of crazy things!x
Bloss-your plans for your kitchen sound great, lovely that you're thinking ahead to positive things. Did you ever find any support for the eating disorder issues? Xxx
OLL-thanks for your love and care and for your PMs. I forget that sometimes things that can't be posted can still be shared. You are my rock. Love you loads xxx

I'm much more on an even keel today. Going to work through my 'to do' list calmly and stop procrastinating and getting worked up over the small stuff. It isn't worth it, and doesn't do anything for my mental state. I'm still a bit of a nutcase, but I'm not crying and panicking and doing generally crazy things, so that's good.

Have a good day everyone. Love you all lots xxx

Soberjanedoe

Staying sober at a university campus is difficult but I can do this one day at a time. There is a party on tomorrow and a friend asked if I was going. I said yes without thinking. 2hrs later she asked again if I was going and I realised and say no.

I know I'm not going to react with situations that involved alcohol perfectly but if I tale this one hour at a time and one day at a time I will get through this.

Jeni26

Yes, Jane you can do it, I believe in you xxx

FrenchPink

So glad to hear you're okay, SoberJane! Panic attacks are scary. Great choice on turning down the drinking party.

Got in late last night after orchestra rehearsal, so I am draaaaaagging today. Wish I needed less sleep to function, but them's the breaks. A shorter work week after having a beautiful Monday off. The compressed schedules make me super busy, though. Almost slept through the alarm clock this morning.

Have a strong and sober day, May mates! Love and hugs to all.

Dee74

I found it a lot easier to live amongst drunken madness once I accepted who and what I was Jane.

I'm someone who's very bad at drinking and who lets their drinking completely take them over.

Once I really accepted that premise it was way easier to say no...it kinda became a perverse badge of honour eventually.

I was different and I became quite proud of that, in a way.

D

Saskia

Good morning, Mayans!

Jane, good for you for urge surfing through the panic attack! The more you do that the easier it will become to remember to do it.

I'm a bit bummed today though not surprised. I had my 6-month liver and pancreas function tests and my annual nutrition status tests and the results were available this morning. If I hadn't already discussed my drinking with my docs, they would likely be able to figure it out from the tests. They weren't awful but just the fact that the results are there is, excuse the term, sobering. My liver doc and I had a discussion yesterday about effects of binge drinking Vs a steady 1 glass of wine a day (which of course I know I can't sustain). Having nothing for several weeks and then having a bottle of wine is much more detrimental than having one or two glasses every day and I can't sustain the latter. So although I've known for a long time that drinking is bad for my health, the deteriorating labs are providing me with an additional shove.

I simply can't keep relapsing periodically and expect my health to stay the same. The window of opportunity for staying sober and improving my health is rapidly disappearing. I haven't had any cravings this time, so far, so that's a help. I'm working the SMART program plus doing some visual imagery exercises (eg picturing myself in a situation where I'm offered a drink and calmly saying "no thanks" and feeling good about it).

You all are a great inspiration and I want nothing more than to successfully follow in your footsteps!

Have a good day, all!

Jeni26

Well there it is then Sassy. No more drinking. Full stop.

You out of all of us here have the most to lose health wise by picking up that drink. The doctors have spelt it out loud and clear.

Do whatever it takes to stay off that poison. For you, for your daughter, for your friends, for us.

We all want you to be well and happy Sas xxxxxxx

Saskia

Thanks, Jeni. Yes, this is most definitely full stop. Otherwise I'm commiting a slow and agonizing suicide. Life can be a b*tch but the alternatives are worse and I'm now in the years when I should be able to relax and enjoy. I'm hurting myself if I don't give myself the best possible odds to do that.

Sober Sassy

Jeni26

And we are here to support you every step of the way xxx

tanja

Sas - I am relieved to hear that your lab results weren't awful! I think seeing the tangible results of our drinking can indeed be very sobering and give us the push and motivation we need to stop drinking. As Jeni said "we are all here to support you every step of the way". We all love you and want the best for you. A support network is just so essential in this journey to sobriety and a happier life.

OneLessLonely

FP I hope you are managing your busy-ness okay. Mini posts are fine by everyone. Just knowing everyone is still trucking along this path is helpful. I also need substantial amounts of sleep to function properly and drag when I don't get it. So I hope your week goes by fast. How is the orchestra going? Are you enjoying it even though it is late hours?

Jeni26

My Dad is poorly at the moment. Bronchitis and complications arising from his cancer. I've been struggling as to what support I should give him as nothing is straightforward in my family.

I'm going to a meeting tonight and will chat to my sponsor about it.

Love you all loads xxx

OneLessLonely

Saskia I am sorry to hear your labs weren't ideal. I'm glad they weren't awful though. And they may be just where they need to be for you right now. I feel like the AV would jump all over normal results telling you that you are fine and can drink. This is a very objective piece of evidence that shows you have to keep up your motivation for sobriety. You can do it. I thought of you this weekend when we installed some shelves in one of our closets by the way. Gotta love organization! It gave us so much more storage!

Saskia

Jeni and Tanja, thanks soooo much for the awesome support. I made it through grocery shopping without agonizing over the wine section. I just bypassed it. So far easy but the challenge will, of course, be sustaining the momentum. I feel very blessed to have this incredible group of Mayans in my corner!



Xoxo