Wifi

Hi all,

Quick check-in with all my November friends... I hope you are all doing well!!!

Have a safe and sober day!!!!

Sazzle

Hi Wifi

Thanks for checking in! How are you doing?

S x

Dee74

I had a situation like that once Sazzle.

In the end I had to ask the guy straight up - pay up or leave - he was just taking the Michael.

I was a young bull drinking too much then, so you can probably add more to that LOL - explain how difficult it is and unfair on you when his share of the rent isn't there....

D

veryready

Your kidding. That's exactly what I got. There are a few companies that make them. Mcvites I think, but they are chocolate on one side digestive. Digestive doesn't sound good, but they are awesome. My wife has been to London a few times and she knows that is what I want. So good with coffee.

Sazzle

Yup I think that is what I need to do. He's been a friend for over 10 years but his laid back attitude is really testing me! He can move in with his girlfriend if he really wants to save £££! He ignored my request to set up a bank transfer so he can't actually think much of our friendship.

S x

Nikkipoo

Good Morning Novies!
I had a great birthday yesterday, hearing from virtually everyone I care about and spending time with my husband, son and his family. We all went our all to breakfast. Thats one of my favorite things to do on a Sunday morning. My daughter doesn't live here but she called and told me that my "present" was in my email. I told her that she shouldnt have bought me anything as money is really tight for her right now. She laughed and said she didnt. During the call, she also talked to her brother and while he was doing that I checked my email....
She had written me the most beautiful email, listing just about everything that I had ever done for her. 3 pages worth! It was like a biography of our relationship. I started crying as I read it and when my son tried to hand me my phone back he saw how emotional I was and told his sister that she'd had obviously trumped what he'd done for me for my birthday! Included in the email was how proud she was of me for quitting alcohol and how hard she knew that was and continued to be and how strong a woman I was. :day1
She totally caught me off guard as I wasnt expecting a "This is your Life" and what you mean to me essay. Everytime I think about what she said and even now as I share this with you I am crying. She touched my very soul with what she said and how she feels about me. She finished by saying that I have given her the greatest of all gifts and that was my unconditional love and the knowledge that I would do anything for her at anytime. Only she said it more exquisitely....no one, not even my husband, her father has ever told me like she did how much I mean to her in this way. What a gift! What a treasure! I am still so overwhelmed by this that I had to share with you, my friends!

Wifi

Thanks Sazzle for asking...

Sobriety wise I am doing great...

We are having issues with my oldest son that we kicked out last week... I just got a text from my wife saying he is at our house and is pissed because I moved all his "grow equipment"... Now my wife isn't texting back or answering the phone... I don't know if I am going to have to go get a restraining order or what but I am not happy he just decided to show up at our house out of the blue...

So that kind of screws up what was an OK day... Hopefully I'll hear from her soon and he takes what he needs and leaves... I am just soooooo tired of the drama...

I agree with Dee... Pay up or find a new place... That is the last thing you need right now... I wish you the best!

Hope everyone has a safe and sober day...

phoebe64

Wifi, wow. I am so sorry for all the trouble you are having with your son. How painful, and well, even frightening.

I hope all is okay in the moment, in that you hear from your wife and she is safe today.

Ro

Dee74

I'm not sure how I'd handle that situation Wifi....I'm not a parent.
many prayers for you and your family though.

D

Sazzle

Wow Nikkipoo! That was such an emotional post for me. What a lovely birthday you have had. You sound like you have a wonderful family and they clearly think the world of you too. Glad you had a lovely time.

Wifi sorry to hear you are having issues with your son. Thinking of you and hoping it calms down.

Rent. Well I've asked for both rents and a direct debit to be set up from feb 1st. Has to text a he is with his girlfriend who is ill. I was polite, but to the point. I feel so much better now I've said what I want. Told my friend tonight and she was appalled at his behaviour which made me feel better. The knot in my stomach has gone and I feel less depressed. I think this was affecting my mood/energy.

Busy day today - back at work but quite energised and getting back to my 11pm-6:30 sleep routine.

Hope you are all tickety boo

S x

Wifi

Wow.. Tough night but drinking isn't an option... Things got pretty out of hand but he's gone again... This tough love thing is very difficult, and even harder now that I know my wife just isn't cut out to see it through so I have to be the "bad guy".

Hope all my Novie friends are having a safe and sober day!!!

ForMeForThem

Wifi - I'm thinking of you and your family. Being sober is the best thing you can do right now for your son, your wife, your other children, and of course yourself. Stay strong, give it time. Sending prayers your way...

ForMeForThem

Nikkipoo - Happy belated birthday. What a wonderful gift your daughter gave you, truly the best one a parent could ask for.

Sazzle - good for you for setting your boundaries with your flatmate. I'm sure that was a huge relief just getting it out there. I am tickety boo, thanks for asking, and I hope you are too

Hello to all my other November friends. Have a happy, sober day!

ForMeForThem

Oh, I've been meaning to ask. I ordered the book "Rational Recovery", have any of you read it? What did you think? It should be coming in the mail this week. Feeling like I need something more and I'm hoping this book will help.

Nikkipoo

FMFT, I havent read Rational Recovery, but I have read "Under the Influence" and "After the Influence". Both were a tremendous help to me. I believe there's a list somewhere on this forum of related literature and posts from people who have read those.

phoebe64

Nikki, sounds like a wonderful birthday! What a gift from your daughter!

Wifi, glad the immediate crisis is past, but so sorry you have to go though this with your son. I think of you and your family.

Sazzle, good you spoke up to your flat mate. That is just so wrong of him to not pay. Unacceptable. It can be so hard to be assertive when people are friends, but it is abuse of the friendship on his part.

Hanging in here. Nothing exciting to post. But no drama is a good thing, right!?

Wifi

I've started it but haven't gotten through it yet... I wish I could tell you more, but I know it has helped a lot of people if you can get your mind around that method...

I hope all my Novie friends have a safe and sober day!!!

Marine28

Wifi - sorry to hear of the problems at home. Brings back memories...things will work out in the end. Someone has to be the bad guy...I don't have kids of my own, but know it must be hard. I am glad you aren't drinking. Take it easy.

amy55

Nikkipoo, happy belated birthday !!!!!!!

Ok, finally got computer going again, or at least I think so !!!!! Vacuumed it inside and out, vacuumed bottom, then removed the keyboard, etc, and vacuumed some more, it is working now.

I need to be away from stress and drama, but I am getting thrown back, right into the middle of it. I think that I have been dealing pretty well with this so far.

Some background. I left my ex 12/2008. I was married twice. Had a child with my first husband, then my ex had adopted her when we were married for a year. She learned manipulation at an early age. She was 8 at the time. She learned that if I said no to something, like wearing a sleeveless shirt in the winter to school, she just had to ask my ex or my mom, and they would say yes. Short example, but that is the way it was. I had no say.

I was in an abusive relationship, she was older at this time, and lived alone. Whenever I told him to leave, or when I got a restraining order on him, she took him in.

She has children, our grandchildren, and I had asked her, even while we were separated before the divorce went through, to split the birthday parties for her children so that we both could be there, but at different times. She wouldn't do this. So back in April 2009, my mom was coming in from Florida. I asked my daughter to let me have this birthday party for her son, since I was not able to attend any other ones, because he was there.

My daughter also has a lot of medical issues, she takes a lot of meds. Apparently someone had called DYFS (Division of Youth and Family Services) on her, with accusations that even sound ridiculous to me. She assumed that it was me, all because of the fighting over this birthday party. She filed a restraining order against me for harassment.

She dragged my 2 other children into this, and of course they were going to support their big sister, because she is so ill.

So I had to retain a lawyer, and waste $1500 on this, for charges that were just so absurd !!!!!!! Needless to say, we saw a judge, and I didn't have to speak at all, and I think my lawyer only said one thing. Judge dismissed the entire case when my daughter said that I just recently spent the 5 months with her when she was pregnant and on bed rest, and that she did not fear for her life.

Now this daughter wants me back in her life. We have tried a few times since then, but we could not work it out. Yes, I am angry also, but I am trying to leave that behind.

So presently she speaks to me, my son speaks to me, but my youngest daughter will not. This is all due to whatever she had told them regarding why she wanted a restraining order.

So this Christmas, this daughter came to my see me with my grandchildren, and my son came up also, they spent 2 days with me. Things went pretty good.

What I am dealing with now is my eldest daughter again. She calls me with complaints about everyone, who is not doing things the way she wants them done. Previously I would just try to keep my mouth shut, and appease her anyway that I can. I do this, because my mom (who is 80 is really being hurt and affected by this fighting in the family)

So Christmas comes, and she is upset that my sister and her cousins did not go to her house for x-mas eve. X-Mas eve is when my side of the family always had x-mas.

I didn't keep my mouth shut this time. I told her that my sister will never go to her house for a party, where my ex, and his new gf, and her family are also present.

She then started about birthday parties, I told her if he is there, with or without gf, and her family, there is no way that I would be there. I told her I had asked about splitting birthday parties. I could either leave early, or I can come later. I told her he refuses to do that, that he said, he would do the entire party, and I should just "deal with it".

So she then says, well come the day before so that you can help me set up for the party !!!!!!! (lol)

I already did this, btdt, I get to play maid and cook, I leave without even eating, and the ex gets the whole party. I tell her this, and she starts with the "sick card" again, about she needs help to arrange the party. argh...........

Don't really need a response to this, I think I just needed to get this out. I go through stuff like this everyday.


Just if you even read through all of this garbage, then thank you.

PS...... not drinking

Wifi

Hang tough amy... It's good to hear from you... I know all about family drama and can totally relate...