veryready

So yesterday was the first time I had to deal with someone putting a beer in my hand. Haven't really talked to anyone about not drinking yet. Rode with some friends and I knew they had a beer cooler back at the parking lot. When we go back one friend came over and handed me a beer. 'no thanks, I'm good', 'what?', 'I have some things to do', 'what?', 'you know if I have one I'll get drunk', 'so what, really?, come on!!!' It was tough but there were no hard feelings. Hung around for a little while, they drank and we still joked around. I left first on good terms with everyone. First tough public arm twisting. Once the moment passed I continued to pack my stuff up and I just thought I hope these guys are okay with this, but I am okay either way. I have to be done with drinking. Can't say I felt good about myself really. I hate saying no to friends no matter what it is, but oh well. Felt great this morning.

phoebe64

Thanks, Dee. I know. But I was feeling sorry for myself as I sipped my decaf coffee. More sorry for myself that I cannot drink "normally." That it consumes me even when I don't touch a drop.

JJay

Awesome job veryready! The first time is difficult.

Dee74

You're braver than I am veryready - everytime I hung out with the old crew they'd wear me down...they weren't being malicious it was just the way they live.

be very careful bro.

Rochele - I don't think any of us is glad to be an alcoholic - especially at the start....

but it gets easier...especially when some of the longer term rewards of being sober become more apparent.

Stick with it

D

solstice3

Flight was good, but finishing Drinking, A Love Story - Caroline Knapp today was better. I cried with both, but really, there were points in the movie that made me want to drink I went alone (don't think I've ever gone to a movie alone) and as predicted there were only 4 people at the 4pm show. I was pretty squirrely when I came out, but I had to drive 30 minutes home. Stopped off at Lowes for something and ended up just wandering around for a while. Was fine when I got out of there.

I won't go into detail so that I don't ruin the movie, but I do recommend having a plan if you are going so that you are sure not to drink/use afterwards.

There is one weird part - today was day 9 for me and at one point in the movie, someone told Denzel - you've not had a drink for 8 days and he corrected them and said 9 days, 9 days 2 hours and 26 minutes. I sure sat up at that one - coincidence?

Anyway, I'm over it now. I'm fortunate in one way that I live alone, no one drinks around me. So I guess it was just a trigger to see all of the alcohol flowing freely and all of the associated behaviors up there on the big screen.

Funny thing kind of - if you read my other post, you know I haven't been in a movie theatre in 7 years. I about keeled over when I saw that the large popcorn was $8.50 and all I could think is that I could get a domestic 12 pack for that or a cheap bottle of wine. Funny how the brain works, I guess I used to measure a lot of prices against the price of alcohol like it was some form of currency. (The hidden price we pay is not included in the price tag at time of sale though!)

Nite all and see you on infamous day 10.

Thanks again for being here.

Arrdubya

I agree with Dee. Gave all my booze to one of my buddies the other day. He came over after work and got out of his truck holding a beer!. I gave him the box and then lied so he would leave. I'm quite certain and quite motivated to never go back to my old bar. I do not know yet what I will do with the time I spent boozing and drugging, but I do know whatever it is it won't be with my old crew. Nobody is that strong forever IMHO. Your mileage may vary.

veryready

arrdubya - right on.
solstice - that's funny - I bought a panettone the other day (sweet cake like bread thing) and it was $10. Of course I thought, oooh that's more than a six of my favorite beer (I know that's expensive, but the cheap beer doesn't/didn't have enough alcohol content). I always compared prices to six packs.

Junebugapril

Hi, I am new here. This is my first time admitting I have a problem with alcohol. Right at this moment I am really craving a drink. It hurts. It is hard. But I want to stop drinking.

Bri

My name is Brian im an alcoholic.end of day 4 for me! It seems like I read somewhere that one is supposed to be the hardest as far as the urges? Went to 2 meetings this morning and learned a lot about a relationship with God. As you all can see I joined this site a long time ago trying to be sober for other people and reasons. Didn't always work...now I'm doing it for me. Plan on going to a meeting again tomorrow. Feel very positive this time and I'm ready to know a new peace. Thank you!

Dee74

It gets easier June - and support helps
Welcome to the thread

D

Junebugapril

Thanks so much, Dee! Do most of you go to meetings? I have not been to one yet.

Emily2002

I took a series of mindfulness classes once which helped me a lot. There was some meditation but got a whole lot more out of practicing being in the moment... JUST the moment and nothing else. Either focusing solely on each breath or solely on whatever I happen to be doing (washing each dish, folding laundry, etc.). The more I've done it, the more I use it as kind of like a "pause" button.

When I've caught myself snapping, I find an apology goes a long way AND shows my kids that it's ok to make mistakes as long as we own up to them.

Hang in there, Rochele.

Day#8. One day at a time....

Bri

Admitting and accepting it were 2 big issues for me also June. Definitely recommend meetings. They help a lot and the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. Lot of knowledge on this site as well.

Dee74

I just use SR June

D

Junebugapril

I hope I can do that too, Dee, I am not really a meeting type of person. I love forums!!!

solstice3

Veryready, I've had panettone -too sweet. I was never much for the sweets - a little more this week but things like sweetarts, etc. I still don't do chocolate!

Wine was pretty much my thing in later years but there were/are some domestics/cheap beers with pretty high content. The microbrews etc. were too rich for me to be able to drink enough of them.

Mostly the thought of beer makes me gag now; my struggle is I can't imagine never again having a great glass of wine with a great meal.

It's true though, I can't imagine it, because it would never be a glass, more like two bottles.

Think it through, think it through.

Magnificent7

Day 3 and I want a drink real bad. But, it's east coast and the liquor stores are closed. Besides I'm too tired to feed the beast, I have work tomorrow. The beast can F himself. No soup for you, too bad. Get used to it.

solstice3

Magnificent, just think how much better you will feel tomorrow. Days 3, 4 and 5 will be tough, but it is better each day.

Thinking it through really works for me.

phoebe64

Thanks New leaf. I did apologize right away to my daughter. Mind you, she was being snippy with me, as 13 yo girls can be to moms, but I blew my lid more than was needed. I was just irritable. I guess she was too! I agree on teaching them to apologize and leading by example is a great way to do it.

JJay

Hey, I'm on the East Coast too. It's tough 'cause there's a liquor store probably 1/2 mile, maybe only 1/4 of a mile, from my house. They stay open til 11 Mon-Sat and are even open til 10 Sundays! They're so mean.