Class of May 2012 part 14
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
I survived the family day.
I'm always left feeling a little overwhelmed by it all, such crazy goings ons, such anger, such sadness from them all.
I watch them like an observer now and no longer get pulled into the emotional dramas. I guess that's progress?
I'm always left feeling a little overwhelmed by it all, such crazy goings ons, such anger, such sadness from them all.
I watch them like an observer now and no longer get pulled into the emotional dramas. I guess that's progress?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
2mags-I wonder if you need to just focus on the day you're on. Wake up each morning and have a plan to see you through. Taking one day at a time certainly saw me through those early weeks.
And posting here was a lifesaver. We're all rooting for you xxx
And posting here was a lifesaver. We're all rooting for you xxx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Jeni, yes, in this case being an observer is definitely progress. It means you are not getting sucked into the vortex of their "stuff". I doubt it's ever going to be easy and pleasant but it sounds like a way to see your family without getting pulled down.
OLL, glad you did so well on "the test you didn't get to study for" though I'm not surprised. You are doing so well!
2mags, glad to see you back! I totally understand the feelings since I'm not reliably totally sober yet either. Please give yourself lots of credit for trying and for coming back here. I'm still finding things I need to do for myself, especially around motivation. I keep adding things and figure that one of these days I will finally get it right.
OLL, glad you did so well on "the test you didn't get to study for" though I'm not surprised. You are doing so well!
2mags, glad to see you back! I totally understand the feelings since I'm not reliably totally sober yet either. Please give yourself lots of credit for trying and for coming back here. I'm still finding things I need to do for myself, especially around motivation. I keep adding things and figure that one of these days I will finally get it right.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Thanks Sas xxx.
Motivation is a hard one. You know the facts of why you shouldn't drink. You know how much better you feel when you start chalking up those days. But no amount of knowledge and self awareness will work until you really want to quit above anything else. I would love you both to crack this one. A sober life equips us to deal with life's sh!t when it hits.
You are both so deserving of this gift.
Lots of love to you xxx
Motivation is a hard one. You know the facts of why you shouldn't drink. You know how much better you feel when you start chalking up those days. But no amount of knowledge and self awareness will work until you really want to quit above anything else. I would love you both to crack this one. A sober life equips us to deal with life's sh!t when it hits.
You are both so deserving of this gift.
Lots of love to you xxx
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
The Dee way to get sober was to crash burn and nearly die...then pick myself up face life squarely in the eye, work on finding other solutions to my problems, and be the person I always wanted to be.
I wish I'd known then you could do the last bit without the crash n burn
D
I wish I'd known then you could do the last bit without the crash n burn
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Southeast, USA
Posts: 631
Welcome back 2Mags!!!
Something is up folks.....yesterday and today the site would not take my password so I had to reset it...don't know if someone has hacked my account (why would they/how would they?), but if this happens again I will have to start a new account......
Day 38 and chugging along!
Lee
2Mags--so glad you are back!!!!!!
Something is up folks.....yesterday and today the site would not take my password so I had to reset it...don't know if someone has hacked my account (why would they/how would they?), but if this happens again I will have to start a new account......
Day 38 and chugging along!
Lee
2Mags--so glad you are back!!!!!!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I'm not aware of any problems Lee...if it happens again don't start a new account...use the 'contact us' link at the bottom of every page and an Admin will try and sort out whats happening
D
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
OLL - Congratulations on 180 days
:day6
You had an unplanned trigger and made it! You are such an inspiration to me.
Jeni - I found your post about your brother and parents endearing. I hope you did tell them that you love them. I find your statement about putting your sobriety before anything just such good advice. I have to remind myself of that every day. I've been blessed because I haven't had cravings lately. They hit me the hardest when I am exhausted and cannot sleep.
2Mags - You aren't a loser! You have an addiction to alcohol. I would say you have great strength. It takes courage to post about a relapse. It takes courage to keep on trying. I agree with Jeni that taking it on a one day a time basis has worked best for me. Really, each day is all we have.
Dee - I always love your saying "Be the person I always wanted to be". I hope and pray that it comes to fruition for me. I am so sorry that you had to crash and burn. But, thank God you are here with us offering your relentless support, wisdom and kindness. I simply adore you!
Hope everyone has a wonderful evening.
:day6 You had an unplanned trigger and made it! You are such an inspiration to me. Jeni - I found your post about your brother and parents endearing. I hope you did tell them that you love them. I find your statement about putting your sobriety before anything just such good advice. I have to remind myself of that every day. I've been blessed because I haven't had cravings lately. They hit me the hardest when I am exhausted and cannot sleep.
2Mags - You aren't a loser! You have an addiction to alcohol. I would say you have great strength. It takes courage to post about a relapse. It takes courage to keep on trying. I agree with Jeni that taking it on a one day a time basis has worked best for me. Really, each day is all we have.
Dee - I always love your saying "Be the person I always wanted to be". I hope and pray that it comes to fruition for me. I am so sorry that you had to crash and burn. But, thank God you are here with us offering your relentless support, wisdom and kindness. I simply adore you!
Hope everyone has a wonderful evening.
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Originally Posted by 2magnolias 
Just a quick word to say hello and that I'm lurking!
I cannot believe it's been a month since I've been on SR...and it shows.
Day 2. Ugh. Off to the gym.
I cannot believe it's been a month since I've been on SR...and it shows.
Day 2. Ugh. Off to the gym.
Big thumbs up (so to speak, for this round-pawed pachyderm) on your awesome 2 sober days! I'm always grateful to see our boaters return. Stick with us now, ya hear? Posting daily was a lifesaver for me in getting through those early days. I really missed you.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Originally Posted by Dee74
I guess some of us are stubborn/stupid and we have to do the Phoenix rising from the ashes thing Tanja 
the thing is, not everyone makes it that way....
I'm glad I did tho
D
the thing is, not everyone makes it that way....
I'm glad I did tho
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 256
Lee, Sas, Jeni, Dee, everyone--thank you so much for believing in me and for the inspiration as always.
All--the worst thing I did, other than getting away from SR--was to stop thinking about sobriety one day (or minute or hour) at a time. I just assumed I was okay/strong/cured/better/etc. and that it was no big deal if I went to happy hour every now and then. I stopped holding my own hand.
But today was great--great workout, great day at home, looking forward to tomorrow, which is so much more than I could say three days ago!
Unfortunately, I have to go out of town to hang out with 'drinking' friends for Tgiving. Already planning, planning, planning. Think I'm going to pull the 'I'm on antibiotics and can't drink' story for now. Don't anywhere strong enough to tell folks I 'just don't drink anymore,' because I don't have anywhere near the self confidence it takes to do that. Oh well, I've got four more days to figure that one out.
Thank you for being here...and for your continued patience with me. Sas, Lee...it's SO good to know I'm not alone!!!
All--the worst thing I did, other than getting away from SR--was to stop thinking about sobriety one day (or minute or hour) at a time. I just assumed I was okay/strong/cured/better/etc. and that it was no big deal if I went to happy hour every now and then. I stopped holding my own hand.
But today was great--great workout, great day at home, looking forward to tomorrow, which is so much more than I could say three days ago!
Unfortunately, I have to go out of town to hang out with 'drinking' friends for Tgiving. Already planning, planning, planning. Think I'm going to pull the 'I'm on antibiotics and can't drink' story for now. Don't anywhere strong enough to tell folks I 'just don't drink anymore,' because I don't have anywhere near the self confidence it takes to do that. Oh well, I've got four more days to figure that one out.
Thank you for being here...and for your continued patience with me. Sas, Lee...it's SO good to know I'm not alone!!!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
This is a great link 2mags
Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide
make a plan now - cover all the contingencies you can think of ..and have an escape plan organised
D
Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide
make a plan now - cover all the contingencies you can think of ..and have an escape plan organised
D
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Good Saturday evening, my beloved boaters! Day 189 and feelin’ fine. Did some clothes shopping today… not a favorite task of mine, but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do. The good thing is that nearly everything is for sale at a huge discount to make up for the week(s) when all stores were closed in the hurricane aftermath.
So I summoned up the courage today to phone my father’s neighbors about their terse and demanding note that I remove the fallen tree’s branches posthaste. For goodness’ sake, we’re still recovering from the recent storm and subsequent devastation. What is wrong with people? Who cares about a few small branches leaning on your house when some of us still don’t have power, heat, or even a house left to go home to any more? Geez.
Part of my job often involves lecturing to hundreds of people at a time and I’m okay with that, but when it comes to facing person-to-person conflict I get very nervous. Fortunately, I met up with their answering machine and left a brief, matter-of-fact, yet arm’s length/cordial type of message explaining that the tree belongs to both of us because the trunk straddles the property line. Have a great day. Click. I’m figuring that they’ll contest that fact and we’ll end up in court over it since it is a very large and expensive tree to remove.
Later today, I returned home to their response blinking on my machine. A few deep breaths to calm my pounding heart and anticipatory semi-hyperventilation, press the message button, and…!?! Seems my no nonsense ‘tude brought them back to neighborly friendliness(ish) and they agreed to split the cost of the removal. Awesome! I’ll accept my Oscar and thank my long list of peeps. Phew! I am so relieved.
OneLess: Big Mammoth hugs of love to you on your 180 days, sober mate! I read your post twice about people offering to share sips of their drinks with you. I mean, taking a few French fries from someone’s plate, okay, but sharing a drink? Suppose some people aren’t used to non-drinkers and are unsure how to act. Regardless, you handled it very well and maintained your hard-won sobriety. Way to go!
Teacher Jeni: “And you guys have become the family I didn't have when I was a kid, and are helping me grow up emotionally for the first time.” I love this! Well said, my friend, and I second your sentiment. So glad to hear that you survived the family get-together with strength and grace. Big hugs to you.
Saskia: My recovery is coming along pretty well, thanks! And, yes, I was sitting on that elephant-drives-car pic for quite a while in hopes of snagging the coveted shotgun position. Great that you’re doing well with your trainer and the gym. Keep up the good sober fight. We’re all rooting for you!
Bionic Lee: I hope you’re feeling better today. I think colds are a common job hazard for teachers. Excellent job on your 38 days, classmate, woo hoo! And there is only one Bionic Lee. All others are wannabe imposters and intruders. Whoever it is, we’ll get that wascally wabbit!
2Mags: I hear you on the moldy old house projects. With these drafty relics of ours, there is always something to fix. Good deal on quitting drinking and getting back to the gym. You’re most certainly a winner on both fronts.
Dee: “…then pick myself up face life squarely in the eye, work on finding other solutions to my problems, and be the person I always wanted to be.” Agreed. So glad that you made it through to help yourself and so many others with your experience. And thanks for posting the Thanksgiving Survival Guide link again. Terrific advice for any time of the year. Big hugs to you!
Emily: How are you? I hope all is well. Are you celebrating the big 120 sober days tomorrow? I’ll wait for your confirmation, my cherished May mate.
You-Rock: I see your Thank You tags with us, good buddy. Looking forward to your next posts when you get a breather. Big hugs to you.
Tanja: Thank you for your wonderful messages to our boaters. I hope you’re able to get a good night’s sleep. Love to you.
Dweller: How are you doing, Top Dawg? Missing my Cactus Cowpoke. Throw us a post when you can.
Super-Crew? Thursday? Uninvited? Auden? Candi? Easyrider? Soleil? Flicked? GingerBeer? IllNeverTell? Iwant2? Luling? Payton? Pink in a poke buddy? Seahorse? SoberJane? TedPlante? SubtleKnife? Where did you go, classmates? Please send us a post. We’re missing you!
Wonderful to see our May class remain so active and close to each other. Part 14 already, wow! I’ll be around for the holiday week/weekend to check in. Please remember to post/PM with us whenever you need to… especially around these full-trigger holidays with button-pushing family and friends. Stay strong in our sober quest. Love and hugs to all.
So I summoned up the courage today to phone my father’s neighbors about their terse and demanding note that I remove the fallen tree’s branches posthaste. For goodness’ sake, we’re still recovering from the recent storm and subsequent devastation. What is wrong with people? Who cares about a few small branches leaning on your house when some of us still don’t have power, heat, or even a house left to go home to any more? Geez.
Part of my job often involves lecturing to hundreds of people at a time and I’m okay with that, but when it comes to facing person-to-person conflict I get very nervous. Fortunately, I met up with their answering machine and left a brief, matter-of-fact, yet arm’s length/cordial type of message explaining that the tree belongs to both of us because the trunk straddles the property line. Have a great day. Click. I’m figuring that they’ll contest that fact and we’ll end up in court over it since it is a very large and expensive tree to remove.
Later today, I returned home to their response blinking on my machine. A few deep breaths to calm my pounding heart and anticipatory semi-hyperventilation, press the message button, and…!?! Seems my no nonsense ‘tude brought them back to neighborly friendliness(ish) and they agreed to split the cost of the removal. Awesome! I’ll accept my Oscar and thank my long list of peeps. Phew! I am so relieved.
OneLess: Big Mammoth hugs of love to you on your 180 days, sober mate! I read your post twice about people offering to share sips of their drinks with you. I mean, taking a few French fries from someone’s plate, okay, but sharing a drink? Suppose some people aren’t used to non-drinkers and are unsure how to act. Regardless, you handled it very well and maintained your hard-won sobriety. Way to go!
Teacher Jeni: “And you guys have become the family I didn't have when I was a kid, and are helping me grow up emotionally for the first time.” I love this! Well said, my friend, and I second your sentiment. So glad to hear that you survived the family get-together with strength and grace. Big hugs to you.
Saskia: My recovery is coming along pretty well, thanks! And, yes, I was sitting on that elephant-drives-car pic for quite a while in hopes of snagging the coveted shotgun position.
Great that you’re doing well with your trainer and the gym. Keep up the good sober fight. We’re all rooting for you! Bionic Lee: I hope you’re feeling better today. I think colds are a common job hazard for teachers. Excellent job on your 38 days, classmate, woo hoo! And there is only one Bionic Lee. All others are wannabe imposters and intruders. Whoever it is, we’ll get that wascally wabbit!
2Mags: I hear you on the moldy old house projects. With these drafty relics of ours, there is always something to fix. Good deal on quitting drinking and getting back to the gym. You’re most certainly a winner on both fronts.
Dee: “…then pick myself up face life squarely in the eye, work on finding other solutions to my problems, and be the person I always wanted to be.” Agreed. So glad that you made it through to help yourself and so many others with your experience. And thanks for posting the Thanksgiving Survival Guide link again. Terrific advice for any time of the year. Big hugs to you!
Emily: How are you? I hope all is well. Are you celebrating the big 120 sober days tomorrow? I’ll wait for your confirmation, my cherished May mate.
You-Rock: I see your Thank You tags with us, good buddy. Looking forward to your next posts when you get a breather. Big hugs to you.
Tanja: Thank you for your wonderful messages to our boaters. I hope you’re able to get a good night’s sleep. Love to you.
Dweller: How are you doing, Top Dawg? Missing my Cactus Cowpoke. Throw us a post when you can.
Super-Crew? Thursday? Uninvited? Auden? Candi? Easyrider? Soleil? Flicked? GingerBeer? IllNeverTell? Iwant2? Luling? Payton? Pink in a poke buddy? Seahorse? SoberJane? TedPlante? SubtleKnife? Where did you go, classmates? Please send us a post. We’re missing you!
Wonderful to see our May class remain so active and close to each other. Part 14 already, wow! I’ll be around for the holiday week/weekend to check in. Please remember to post/PM with us whenever you need to… especially around these full-trigger holidays with button-pushing family and friends. Stay strong in our sober quest. Love and hugs to all.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
FP, so happy to hear the tree thing got resolved without shotguns! I know exactly what you mean about being able to give a talk/presentation to a roomful of people without a problem but getting discombobulated when facing a possible individual conflict. You deserve that Oscar! Would love to see a pic of an elephant holding an Oscar
I, too, will be home for the Thanksgiving holiday and expect to be in New Jersey visiting family for Christmas. That won't present any temptations. I will be ecstatic if I can hit 30 days by the end of 2012!
I, too, will be home for the Thanksgiving holiday and expect to be in New Jersey visiting family for Christmas. That won't present any temptations. I will be ecstatic if I can hit 30 days by the end of 2012!
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