Class of May 2012 part 14
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Class of May 2012 part 14
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Whoa FP! I think you waiting on Dee's heels for the new thread to open! Love the pic! Where are you navigating to now??
Jeni, I loved your story and I loved even more that you wanted to share it with us!
Very sad stuff I dealt with at work today. Stuff I normally would drink after. Even fantasizes about ordering a drink at the dinner with friends I'm about to go out with. But I'm posting here first to get the thought outside of me. I'm not planning on it. I jut have a fear of developing a lapse in judgement. Like blacking out before drinking and ordering a drink. And ending up like the drinking dreams. I always come into the drinking dreams when ie already started drinking. I want to wake up proud tomorrow. Tomorrow will 180 days but I really want to celebrate 6 months on the 21st. Ok here I go.
Jeni, I loved your story and I loved even more that you wanted to share it with us!
Very sad stuff I dealt with at work today. Stuff I normally would drink after. Even fantasizes about ordering a drink at the dinner with friends I'm about to go out with. But I'm posting here first to get the thought outside of me. I'm not planning on it. I jut have a fear of developing a lapse in judgement. Like blacking out before drinking and ordering a drink. And ending up like the drinking dreams. I always come into the drinking dreams when ie already started drinking. I want to wake up proud tomorrow. Tomorrow will 180 days but I really want to celebrate 6 months on the 21st. Ok here I go.
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
I'm sorry you had a tough work day. Big hugs to you, OneLess. I know you can get through your dinner alcohol free. You're a super-strong sober sister, and don't you forget it! We're all right here for you if/when you need to post or PM us tonight... or anytime. A huge early congratulations on your upcoming 180 days! I've got a special elephant in mind for you. 
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Ok I knew there was a good reason for me being an insomniac- it's 3.30 and I'm able to say whatever happened at work, you won't drink OLL. You have us all behind you loving you and supporting you xxxxxxx
And as its morning here happy 180 days my special caring friend xxxxx
And as its morning here happy 180 days my special caring friend xxxxx
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
OLL, I know you will be fine but am sorry to hear you had such a rough day. I can't wait to celebrate your 180 days! WOW! You have become so strong that you are one of our inspirations!
FP, I suspect you must have been saving that pick for just this occasion! Glad you made it :-)
Lee, sorry to hear you have a cold but congrats on being so strong in your sobriety.
Happy weekend, all!
FP, I suspect you must have been saving that pick for just this occasion! Glad you made it :-)
Lee, sorry to hear you have a cold but congrats on being so strong in your sobriety.
Happy weekend, all!
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Thanks for your support. I did make it through but not without multiple offers of drinks and offers of sips to share which surprised me. I was never tempted. I over think and analyze everything so I'm sure I will be reflecting. Time for bed for now. Thanks again everyone.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Thinking of you OLL xxxxx
Happy Saturday to all. I'm going over to my parents. Not anxious about it, I think finally I've let go of that, the fear and angst that accompanied me on my visits has really truly gone. My dad and brother are alcoholics. My brother with whom I was exceptionally close growing up is quite simply lost to the bottle. He is 45, still lives with my parents and can see nothing beyond where his next drink is coming from. My dad is ill. He has had mouth cancer caused by drinking and smoking. He still does both. My mum has, not surprisingly got mental health issues and is on so much medication there are days she withdraws from the world and doesn't get out of bed. It is sad.
To them I am the strong one. And I am I guess because I've managed to somehow dig myself out of this and move away.
Being with them isn't easy. My natural tendency to want to 'fix it' is intertwined with resentment, fear, pity (for them but also a huge dollop of meaningless self-pity), and hopelessness.
But over the past few months I've been able to somehow separate what is mine to own and what is theirs.
That is an incredible move forward for me, it really is.
I want to see them. I want to hug my brother and my dad and tell them I love them. Because I do. And I don't feel sad for myself any more because I have built a good life, and I'm growing all the time.
Sorry for typing out my thoughts in such detail, I'm sure it must be boring for you all, but it sort of helps me. And you guys have become the family I didn't have when I was a kid, and are helping me grow up emotionally for the first time.
Sorry that's a bit heavy. Just wanted to thank you guys xxx
Happy Saturday to all. I'm going over to my parents. Not anxious about it, I think finally I've let go of that, the fear and angst that accompanied me on my visits has really truly gone. My dad and brother are alcoholics. My brother with whom I was exceptionally close growing up is quite simply lost to the bottle. He is 45, still lives with my parents and can see nothing beyond where his next drink is coming from. My dad is ill. He has had mouth cancer caused by drinking and smoking. He still does both. My mum has, not surprisingly got mental health issues and is on so much medication there are days she withdraws from the world and doesn't get out of bed. It is sad.
To them I am the strong one. And I am I guess because I've managed to somehow dig myself out of this and move away.
Being with them isn't easy. My natural tendency to want to 'fix it' is intertwined with resentment, fear, pity (for them but also a huge dollop of meaningless self-pity), and hopelessness.
But over the past few months I've been able to somehow separate what is mine to own and what is theirs.
That is an incredible move forward for me, it really is.
I want to see them. I want to hug my brother and my dad and tell them I love them. Because I do. And I don't feel sad for myself any more because I have built a good life, and I'm growing all the time.
Sorry for typing out my thoughts in such detail, I'm sure it must be boring for you all, but it sort of helps me. And you guys have become the family I didn't have when I was a kid, and are helping me grow up emotionally for the first time.
Sorry that's a bit heavy. Just wanted to thank you guys xxx
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Good morning, May boaters!
OLL, Congratulations on 180 wonderfully sober days!!!. Super sobriety is the ability you have of being around temptation and yet not feeling tempted.
Jeni, we share our stories as a family and they are so very helpful for all of us in our efforts to stay sober. I also think it's one of the many things that binds this wonderful May group together. For each story someone tells, many of us can relate to some degree and learn from it. In addition, it's that kind of sharing that brings us all closer. So please don't apologize for sharing!! That applies to all of our Mayans!
FP, how goes the recovery? And how did things turn out with your father's neighbor?
Happy and relaxing weekend to all!
OLL, Congratulations on 180 wonderfully sober days!!!. Super sobriety is the ability you have of being around temptation and yet not feeling tempted.
Jeni, we share our stories as a family and they are so very helpful for all of us in our efforts to stay sober. I also think it's one of the many things that binds this wonderful May group together. For each story someone tells, many of us can relate to some degree and learn from it. In addition, it's that kind of sharing that brings us all closer. So please don't apologize for sharing!! That applies to all of our Mayans!
FP, how goes the recovery? And how did things turn out with your father's neighbor?
Happy and relaxing weekend to all!
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 180 DAYS MILESTONE, ONELESS!!!
From one Super-Sober "sibling" to another, Mammoth is flying through the skies to celebrate your phenomenal accomplishment. Half a year! I am so proud of you, May mate!
super_elephant.jpg
From one Super-Sober "sibling" to another, Mammoth is flying through the skies to celebrate your phenomenal accomplishment. Half a year! I am so proud of you, May mate!
super_elephant.jpg
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Thanks for the grat's! I'm doing well. I was just hit with an unexpected and unrealized trigger and didn't have a lot of time to process and plan before going out to a restaurant. But I kept my head on and did fine. Just felt like a test I didn't get to study for. Hope everyone is having a good day. Good to see you 2mags. I really hope this is your last day2.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 256
Thank you OLL and Jeni! Would LOVE for this to be my last day 2. For the past month, it's been days 1-5, then I crash. Doc says "just aim for day 7!" right now....so that's what I'm doing.
Went to gym...had fabulous workout....stopped by Lowes for stuff to insulate 100+ year old house.....now the dirty work begins!
Back later!
Went to gym...had fabulous workout....stopped by Lowes for stuff to insulate 100+ year old house.....now the dirty work begins!
Back later!
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