Class of May 2012 part 14
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
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Jeni, great job on 6 months!
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Thankyou everyone. I'm just home from a meeting. Going to bed shortly.
I'm happy and grateful to have reached this milestone and couldn't have done it without you all holding my hand through the worst bits.
My insomnia is the next challenge. I'm making that docs appt and will have to be honest with him about how desperate I've got. Sometimes I even fool myself into thinking its not that bad because I'm such a sorted person during daylight hours. I sometimes think you're the only people in the world I'm entirely honest with, apart from my sponsor. And I guess that's because we are all alcoholics and understand each other.
So lucky to have you all xxx
I'm happy and grateful to have reached this milestone and couldn't have done it without you all holding my hand through the worst bits.
My insomnia is the next challenge. I'm making that docs appt and will have to be honest with him about how desperate I've got. Sometimes I even fool myself into thinking its not that bad because I'm such a sorted person during daylight hours. I sometimes think you're the only people in the world I'm entirely honest with, apart from my sponsor. And I guess that's because we are all alcoholics and understand each other.
So lucky to have you all xxx
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Jeni,
I hope you got a decent night's sleep. I agree that you should see another doctor. I was prescribed sleep medication that is not addictive. It has helped. Congratulations on one half of a year sober:day1
:day6
HRB - I am glad that you enjoyed "Flight". Someone one the boards stated that the movie "triggered them". I found the opposite to be true. The scenes with him falling brought back the horrors of my alcoholism. I hope you have a wonderful day off.
OLL - Your symptoms with running sound like you are pushing yourself too hard. I know in my youth when I overp-ushed myself with running - I also felt like I was going to vomit. You say you are doing it once weekly? I'd recommend more brisk walking and shorter spurts of running. I could also relate to your feelings of discontent. I visited my mother yesterday and even drove a little. I felt like I should've been much happier than I was. I too felt a sense of discontent. For me, a grattitude list is essential. I believe to a certain extent that everyone feels that way from time to time. Not being alcoholics - they just don't drink over it! I think it is wonderful that you are looking at other ways to enrich your life, giving back and growing. Pat yourself on the back! I think you are a wonderful role model.
I was slated to go to a AA meeting tonight with my sponsor. I woke up at 2:40 am and just laid there until 5:00 am. We had to take my two pups into the vet to get them neutered. I felt like I might be coming down with a cold. I took a nap and ate my lunch. I still wasn't feeling well, sniffling, bad headache, chills. I called my sponsor and told her how I felt. She said what she has said before -unless, your dying go to the meeting. At some point during the conversation, she relented - thank God and said take care of yourself. I went and laid down again because my head hurt so bad. I am still feeling very tired, but very grateful. I am so grateful that I am able to rest and take care of myself instead of having to work and being absolutely miserable. I had to do that for years.
Wishing everyone a happy Monday!
I hope you got a decent night's sleep. I agree that you should see another doctor. I was prescribed sleep medication that is not addictive. It has helped. Congratulations on one half of a year sober:day1
:day6HRB - I am glad that you enjoyed "Flight". Someone one the boards stated that the movie "triggered them". I found the opposite to be true. The scenes with him falling brought back the horrors of my alcoholism. I hope you have a wonderful day off.
OLL - Your symptoms with running sound like you are pushing yourself too hard. I know in my youth when I overp-ushed myself with running - I also felt like I was going to vomit. You say you are doing it once weekly? I'd recommend more brisk walking and shorter spurts of running. I could also relate to your feelings of discontent. I visited my mother yesterday and even drove a little. I felt like I should've been much happier than I was. I too felt a sense of discontent. For me, a grattitude list is essential. I believe to a certain extent that everyone feels that way from time to time. Not being alcoholics - they just don't drink over it! I think it is wonderful that you are looking at other ways to enrich your life, giving back and growing. Pat yourself on the back! I think you are a wonderful role model.
I was slated to go to a AA meeting tonight with my sponsor. I woke up at 2:40 am and just laid there until 5:00 am. We had to take my two pups into the vet to get them neutered. I felt like I might be coming down with a cold. I took a nap and ate my lunch. I still wasn't feeling well, sniffling, bad headache, chills. I called my sponsor and told her how I felt. She said what she has said before -unless, your dying go to the meeting. At some point during the conversation, she relented - thank God and said take care of yourself. I went and laid down again because my head hurt so bad. I am still feeling very tired, but very grateful. I am so grateful that I am able to rest and take care of myself instead of having to work and being absolutely miserable. I had to do that for years.
Wishing everyone a happy Monday!
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Tanja I often say to myself, "You should be much happier than you are" too. I'm happy for you for continuing to drive though! I really do need to make a gratitude list. I have so much to be grateful for. I am pretty much living the life I wanted to live when I decided to quit drinking. I feel like I have to just stop myself from sliding into my default emotion of discontent just because nothing is going on. I love how you said non-alcoholics probably feel the way from time to time, but they just don't drink over it! Haha, so true!
Jeni, just like we often fooled ourselves into thinking we didn't have a drinking problem just because we had a job, or didn't drink in the morning, or <insert some excuse here>, it is understandable why you would fool yourself into thinking you didn't have an insomnia problem just because you're okay during the day. I hope this doctor can help and if not, can send you some sort of specialist. Best wishes for some sleep.
Jeni, just like we often fooled ourselves into thinking we didn't have a drinking problem just because we had a job, or didn't drink in the morning, or <insert some excuse here>, it is understandable why you would fool yourself into thinking you didn't have an insomnia problem just because you're okay during the day. I hope this doctor can help and if not, can send you some sort of specialist. Best wishes for some sleep.
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 6 MONTHS MILESTONE, JENI!!!
Wow! Half a year sober!!!
All this talk of insomnia has Mammoth tuckered out. Wishing you a sound sleep to accompany your inspirational sober accomplishment! Love to you, sober sister.
Wow! Half a year sober!!!
All this talk of insomnia has Mammoth tuckered out. Wishing you a sound sleep to accompany your inspirational sober accomplishment! Love to you, sober sister.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
day 127/20 has been a long day. it looks like i've got a sponsor (at last) which is good, and means that i can start moving forwards again. and also that i won't have to go into my head on my own again.
i was going to do some baking today, but time has beaten me. but in a loving way, with no malice on its part, i'm sure, and besides i can't find a cake tin, so it will have to wait til tomorrow after all. which isn't a problem.
wish i could say the same thing about my head though. even when i'm happy, the av is still lurking. i have a lot to be grateful for, but if i'm honest i'm finding it a little difficult. a year ago, i had dreams, and hope for the future. today, i have neither. i genuinely believe that things will get better, because i've seen the evidence.
but right now, i'm not sure that its true for me. after all, what can i be? i don't know anymore.
jeni - good luck at the doctors in getting help with your insomnia. and big congratulations on six months.
onelesslonely - congrats on the running. it sounds like maybe you're pushing yourself too hard though.
tanja - hope you feel better soon.
as for me, i'll get through this slump, i know. i'll figure out what i'm supposed to be doing soon too. i mean, i sure as hell didn't get clean and sober to be miserable, to force myself to be content with having nothing, or to get stuck in a dead end job. and right now, i don't see much else in store for me. you can call it self pity if you want, and you might even be right, but i need to have something to aim for, otherwise...
what i'm saying is, i need to get myself in a position where it actually matters, where i'm doing stuff that i couldn't do before i found recovery.
have a good night folks, and sleep well. and remember that todays problems have a very limited shelf life. they expire in the morning.
love and hugs to you all.
i was going to do some baking today, but time has beaten me. but in a loving way, with no malice on its part, i'm sure, and besides i can't find a cake tin, so it will have to wait til tomorrow after all. which isn't a problem.
wish i could say the same thing about my head though. even when i'm happy, the av is still lurking. i have a lot to be grateful for, but if i'm honest i'm finding it a little difficult. a year ago, i had dreams, and hope for the future. today, i have neither. i genuinely believe that things will get better, because i've seen the evidence.
but right now, i'm not sure that its true for me. after all, what can i be? i don't know anymore.
jeni - good luck at the doctors in getting help with your insomnia. and big congratulations on six months.
onelesslonely - congrats on the running. it sounds like maybe you're pushing yourself too hard though.
tanja - hope you feel better soon.
as for me, i'll get through this slump, i know. i'll figure out what i'm supposed to be doing soon too. i mean, i sure as hell didn't get clean and sober to be miserable, to force myself to be content with having nothing, or to get stuck in a dead end job. and right now, i don't see much else in store for me. you can call it self pity if you want, and you might even be right, but i need to have something to aim for, otherwise...
what i'm saying is, i need to get myself in a position where it actually matters, where i'm doing stuff that i couldn't do before i found recovery.
have a good night folks, and sleep well. and remember that todays problems have a very limited shelf life. they expire in the morning.
love and hugs to you all.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,466
give yourself time to heal Em
not to depress you but most of my first year was about simply healing...it may be quicker for you, & I hope it is, but in the end...it takes the time it takes
D
not to depress you but most of my first year was about simply healing...it may be quicker for you, & I hope it is, but in the end...it takes the time it takes
D
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Originally Posted by FrenchPink 
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 6 MONTHS MILESTONE, JENI!!!
Wow! Half a year sober!!!
All this talk of insomnia has Mammoth tuckered out. Wishing you a sound sleep to accompany your inspirational sober accomplishment! Love to you, sober sister.
Wow! Half a year sober!!!
All this talk of insomnia has Mammoth tuckered out. Wishing you a sound sleep to accompany your inspirational sober accomplishment! Love to you, sober sister.
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Originally Posted by Saskia
Oh dear, it looks like Mammoth has sleep apnea and needs a cpap machine!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
I am told quitting drinking and losing 30 pounds did nothing to curb my snoring. At least I know how to replaster the ceiling FP.
OLL, Disclaimer...this is not medical advice. When I start running and I overdo it I get nauseous and get dry heaves. As time goes on it gets better, but it's a sign I'm pushing too hard too fast I think. Multiple shorter running periods may help. You may want to get the App "couch to 5k" it really helped me. Also the cold may be burning your lungs. I know some runners can run when it's cold. I had to wear a scarf or wind blocking neck warmer pulled up over my mouth.
Sas, there's enough to go around...everyone's invited for turkey and the best stuffing I've ever tasted, and the only one I've ever made. Maybe because I played Paula Dean when I made it (a whole stick of butter).MMM!
Em, I'm with you. I see some things in my life getting so much better, but others circling the drain. I hope you are right about limited shelf life.
Dee, I have accepted that this year is for growing and it will not always be easy. Thank you for your help.
Tanja, I guess I can see how the movie could trigger someone, but it made me thankful I called in sick my last day after drinking. I could have faced a similar situation, although not in the air.
FP, Hoping things are going well at work. I made enough turkey for you too. I'll post a beach pic to entice you down here!
And as far as our trip, I will quit tomorrow. My bag can be packed in 5 minutes. Let me know when and where.
OLL, Disclaimer...this is not medical advice. When I start running and I overdo it I get nauseous and get dry heaves. As time goes on it gets better, but it's a sign I'm pushing too hard too fast I think. Multiple shorter running periods may help. You may want to get the App "couch to 5k" it really helped me. Also the cold may be burning your lungs. I know some runners can run when it's cold. I had to wear a scarf or wind blocking neck warmer pulled up over my mouth.
Sas, there's enough to go around...everyone's invited for turkey and the best stuffing I've ever tasted, and the only one I've ever made. Maybe because I played Paula Dean when I made it (a whole stick of butter).MMM!
Em, I'm with you. I see some things in my life getting so much better, but others circling the drain. I hope you are right about limited shelf life.
Dee, I have accepted that this year is for growing and it will not always be easy. Thank you for your help.
Tanja, I guess I can see how the movie could trigger someone, but it made me thankful I called in sick my last day after drinking. I could have faced a similar situation, although not in the air.
FP, Hoping things are going well at work. I made enough turkey for you too. I'll post a beach pic to entice you down here!
And as far as our trip, I will quit tomorrow. My bag can be packed in 5 minutes. Let me know when and where.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Em, in some ways you sound good but in other ways you sound like you could be depressed. Are you one of that large number of us who have trouble with depression in the winter or do you think it's your current circumstances that have you feeling a bit of the blahs?
Please be very gentle with yourself and remember that you are a very important part of our Mayans! Whenever you don't post for a few days I always notice and wonder how you're doing! Life has a habit of not staying the same for long. It's kind of like red traffic lights ... They always turn green eventually :-)
(((hugs))) from across the pond!
Please be very gentle with yourself and remember that you are a very important part of our Mayans! Whenever you don't post for a few days I always notice and wonder how you're doing! Life has a habit of not staying the same for long. It's kind of like red traffic lights ... They always turn green eventually :-)
(((hugs))) from across the pond!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
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My bag is ready, lets start down here IMG_2170.jpg
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Em-my thoughts are with you. As you so often tell us, please be gentle with yourself xxx
HRB-that looks a very nice place to start on our world trip. What beautiful blue skies. It has been raining so hard here my road is flooded. I'm getting a lift to work today, guess he might have trouble actually reaching me, maybe I should stay at home?!
FP-I LOVE the pic, I slept for 5 hours without waking last night!!! Amazing. I'm going to make that docs appt today. Deliberating whether to be entirely honest with him. Don't want to go back on anti depressants though. I really don't think I need them. If I divulge a little about the night terrors, he may refer me to a therapist? Guess I need to stop second guessing and just seek help?
OLL-your running sounds painful, don't go crazy. Slowly but surely wins the race.
Love to you all xxx
HRB-that looks a very nice place to start on our world trip. What beautiful blue skies. It has been raining so hard here my road is flooded. I'm getting a lift to work today, guess he might have trouble actually reaching me, maybe I should stay at home?!
FP-I LOVE the pic, I slept for 5 hours without waking last night!!! Amazing. I'm going to make that docs appt today. Deliberating whether to be entirely honest with him. Don't want to go back on anti depressants though. I really don't think I need them. If I divulge a little about the night terrors, he may refer me to a therapist? Guess I need to stop second guessing and just seek help?
OLL-your running sounds painful, don't go crazy. Slowly but surely wins the race.
Love to you all xxx
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Rock, love the pic! Looks heavenly , especially right now as it gets cold up here.
Jeni, I think you are wise to see the doc. They aren't mind readers and can't fix everything but often they can help. I still remember how desperate I became to get some sleep. I felt like I imagine someone dying of thirst might feel when they can see a glass of water but can't reach it. As Tanja noted, there are a few sleeping meds that are not habit-forming. We tried one but because I have a quirky reaction to Benadryl, I had the same reaction to that one -- it kept me awake! But we did find something that works and if one is diligent, it is feasible to avoid habituation. It won't eliminate night terrors but dealing with them may be a bit easier with some stood sleep.
Xxxx
Jeni, I think you are wise to see the doc. They aren't mind readers and can't fix everything but often they can help. I still remember how desperate I became to get some sleep. I felt like I imagine someone dying of thirst might feel when they can see a glass of water but can't reach it. As Tanja noted, there are a few sleeping meds that are not habit-forming. We tried one but because I have a quirky reaction to Benadryl, I had the same reaction to that one -- it kept me awake! But we did find something that works and if one is diligent, it is feasible to avoid habituation. It won't eliminate night terrors but dealing with them may be a bit easier with some stood sleep.
Xxxx
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Southeast, USA
Posts: 631
Checking in on day 49 and still sober! Had a great holiday weekend but now it is back to the grind but work is good for the soul.
Had such a nice, sober holiday. So much more appreciative and positive.
Have a great day everyone.
Lee
Had such a nice, sober holiday. So much more appreciative and positive.
Have a great day everyone.
Lee
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Oh boy did it get cold out here! No more lunches in my car. Not worth the deep freeze! My Mexican dish last night was delish and we'll be having leftovers tonight. Just working towards another weekend. Hope everyone is having a good day! Lee you sound just great! I'm very happy for you that you're on such a strong path!
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Dark, cold and miserable here too.
H cooking dinner tonight and then I'm out to work with my sponsor.
Everything has settled with me. Am sure it's because I got 5 hours uninterrupted sleep last night. It has made such a difference to go past the 2 hour mark without waking. If I could only do that every night I would be so much happier!
Lee-you are sounding so strong my friend xxx
H cooking dinner tonight and then I'm out to work with my sponsor.
Everything has settled with me. Am sure it's because I got 5 hours uninterrupted sleep last night. It has made such a difference to go past the 2 hour mark without waking. If I could only do that every night I would be so much happier!
Lee-you are sounding so strong my friend xxx
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Checking in before work tonight. Just out back looking at my garden. My seeds are all coming up. I should have my own veggies next month. I already have herbs because I cheated and got bigger plants.
It really is starting to feel like I've been sober a long time so I got onto one of those AA calculators and tomorrow will be 200 days. I guess it has been a long time. Kinda cool.
Lee, glad you are doing well on day 49!
OLL, Thinking about you at work. Just a note, I know people who arrayed a new job and then took maternity leave after 10 months. It's all about being happy in the end. We spend so much time at work... I think we need to get as much out of it as we do on our days off. Just my 2 cents though.
Jeni, hope you made it in to work ok and hoping today goes well for you.
Sas, You made some great points there about sleep. I know I easily get into a panic when I know I need to work 12 hours the next day and can't fall asleep or can't get back to sleep. I guess they call it sleep anxiety. I had to work with my doc too.
Em, I'm thinking about you and hoping you are feeling better today. This is a slow process of change we are going through. I know we all expected it to be a quick fix. I'm guessing that is what led us all to alcohol in the first place... Know we are here for you and wishing you well. I know deep down That if we just keep taking those steps forward away from alcohol, life will get better and more fulfilling. It's hard work though and I know at times I feel like its not worth it... But if you really think about how life was before, you can clearly see it is worth it.
Tanja, Hoping you are feeling better. Glad your sponsor relented and allowed you time to rest and saved the others in the group from getting sick. Take good care of yourself sober sister!
FP, Know I am thinking about you and hope you have a good week.
All other Mayans and our mentor Dee,
Hoping you have a wonderful rest of the week.
It really is starting to feel like I've been sober a long time so I got onto one of those AA calculators and tomorrow will be 200 days. I guess it has been a long time. Kinda cool.
Lee, glad you are doing well on day 49!
OLL, Thinking about you at work. Just a note, I know people who arrayed a new job and then took maternity leave after 10 months. It's all about being happy in the end. We spend so much time at work... I think we need to get as much out of it as we do on our days off. Just my 2 cents though.
Jeni, hope you made it in to work ok and hoping today goes well for you.
Sas, You made some great points there about sleep. I know I easily get into a panic when I know I need to work 12 hours the next day and can't fall asleep or can't get back to sleep. I guess they call it sleep anxiety. I had to work with my doc too.
Em, I'm thinking about you and hoping you are feeling better today. This is a slow process of change we are going through. I know we all expected it to be a quick fix. I'm guessing that is what led us all to alcohol in the first place... Know we are here for you and wishing you well. I know deep down That if we just keep taking those steps forward away from alcohol, life will get better and more fulfilling. It's hard work though and I know at times I feel like its not worth it... But if you really think about how life was before, you can clearly see it is worth it.
Tanja, Hoping you are feeling better. Glad your sponsor relented and allowed you time to rest and saved the others in the group from getting sick. Take good care of yourself sober sister!
FP, Know I am thinking about you and hope you have a good week.
All other Mayans and our mentor Dee,
Hoping you have a wonderful rest of the week.
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