Class Of September 2012 Part 5
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 184
SwingD, no tell you if you have a problem, not definitively, anyhow. All the same, I agree with Dee: if it's causing problems, it's a problem. You don't have to drink every day in order for it to be a problem. Myself, I *was* always a binge drinker - "only" drinking every second day at my worst, and only having a drink in the morning 3 times over the last 5 years. Unfortunately, "only" was enough times for me to hurt a whole lotta people, including myself, as a direct consequence of those binges. I'm sure you already know to see a doctor for the health concerns you are experiencing; maybe, you could try to quit for 30 days. Nothing in between. I guess how hard it is to do that and/or how it otherwise impacts your life might tell you if you're dependent (psychologically and/or physically).
LifeWithout: so sorry to hear what happened with your husband! I can't express how much I feel for you. I'm just relieved to hear that you are trying to do what's right for you right now, even though it's scary and difficult. You have shown incredible courage in opening up, and in asserting yourself to your husband. I wish you continued strength.
Telco: stay strong!! It must be so hard to be alone....I know that's when I drank the most, anyhow. ((hug))!
JimUK: I'm going to ask, as gently as I can: Do you think you were happier drinking, or were you just numb? You've been doing so well, and your GF must be so proud of you (I know my ex-BF would've been, had I stopped getting drunk/being mean before it was too late....I don't want you to get there. I don't).
Alright. A little rich coming from someone on Day 6! Been thinking of all of you, and I stay caught up on the posts, but I honestly mostly do this at work, and I am starting to fall ever so slightly behind....I will break out the notebook
when I have a chance. I really would love to respond to ALL of you individually. xox
LifeWithout: so sorry to hear what happened with your husband! I can't express how much I feel for you. I'm just relieved to hear that you are trying to do what's right for you right now, even though it's scary and difficult. You have shown incredible courage in opening up, and in asserting yourself to your husband. I wish you continued strength.
Telco: stay strong!! It must be so hard to be alone....I know that's when I drank the most, anyhow. ((hug))!
JimUK: I'm going to ask, as gently as I can: Do you think you were happier drinking, or were you just numb? You've been doing so well, and your GF must be so proud of you (I know my ex-BF would've been, had I stopped getting drunk/being mean before it was too late....I don't want you to get there. I don't).
Alright. A little rich coming from someone on Day 6! Been thinking of all of you, and I stay caught up on the posts, but I honestly mostly do this at work, and I am starting to fall ever so slightly behind....I will break out the notebook
when I have a chance. I really would love to respond to ALL of you individually. xox
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,525
Wow you guys... so much going on the past 24 hours with our class! Since I have the time right now, I'm going to do a shoutout to everyone, but don't expect this to continue LOL!
Obladi... I agree... have patience... and I hope you will see that brass ring.
Phoenix... sorry to hear of your struggle with eating disorders... but your first album, how exciting!
Boozefree... hope your headaches subside soon! Day 24 is awesome!
Deepbreath, Jimuk, Eli, walkingwithgod, Jaz, Groder, Ideatrack, and anyone else who's been struggling with insomnia... I really hope you all get a good night's sleep tonight. I have to admit that I am not in this camp. I have been sleeping awesome since I gave up drinking, but I slept HORRIBLY back when I drank. I used to wake up many times each night. I don't miss that at all.
Iwantfree, hope your busy day went well!
Liz, congrats on another sober day!
Eli... try not to feel guilty about your old job. I know that's easier said than done, but it is honestly pointless to beat yourself up over things you did wrong at a job you don't even work at anymore. I have to tell myself the same about my old job sometimes, but ultimately, all that matters is you don't make the same mistakes again. Try to move forward. Day 17 is awesome! I know what you mean about not believing the number, I really can't believe I'm at day 18 myself.
Forabetter life... 28 days! That is amazing. I'm only 10 days away from that but it seems like an enormous way away to me. Looking forward to getting there!
Sunnyflower I'm sorry to hear about your son's troubles :*( It's good you are there for him and that you know you can't control what's going on. Good for you for not drinking over it!
Telco, day 2! Awesome!
Marjoram, your walks sound like great therapy. I need to get back on the exercise train.
Soberjim... agreed, let's all finish Sept strong!
PHRD... glad I'm not the only one who's actually sleeping well, I almost feel guilty with so many others struggling. But I definitely had my share of CRAP nights of sleep back when I was drinking.
Mescal, glad you're with us and congrats on 3 days!
Sobersunshine & Benice, 3 weeks is amazing!!
Deepbreath, happy day 4! I am so glad your interview went well!
Lifewithoutbooz, I am so sorry to hear of what you had to go through with your husband. It sounds like you did the right thing getting yourself out of that environment for now. I wish you continued strength to deal with whatever the situation may bring.
Weasel1966, welcome! It sounds like it's a good time for you to join us. This is a great class
Avra... hi and happy sober Tuesday to you
Lefthook... a whole week is great! Glad you are making progress with your marriage as well.
Iwillwin... glad you're still here and still sober
SwingD hi and welcome... it certainly sounds like you may have an issue with drinking, but only you can really decide that. Either way we're glad you are here
Janelee, welcome and congrats on day 2
Bumble, congrats on day 6!
As for me, I'm finishing up day 18 here with a soda and a good book. I probably should be cleaning the house and/or studying for class tomorrow, but it's 9PM and I didn't get home from work until almost 8, so at this point I really just want to wind the day down. Like I said yesterday, I'm trying to give myself a little extra latitude to relax right now. Pretty soon, though, I will need to buckle down a bit more than I have been on studying and chores. I'm rather behind on housework :s
Have a great night all and a great day tomorrow!
Obladi... I agree... have patience... and I hope you will see that brass ring.
Phoenix... sorry to hear of your struggle with eating disorders... but your first album, how exciting!
Boozefree... hope your headaches subside soon! Day 24 is awesome!
Deepbreath, Jimuk, Eli, walkingwithgod, Jaz, Groder, Ideatrack, and anyone else who's been struggling with insomnia... I really hope you all get a good night's sleep tonight. I have to admit that I am not in this camp. I have been sleeping awesome since I gave up drinking, but I slept HORRIBLY back when I drank. I used to wake up many times each night. I don't miss that at all.
Iwantfree, hope your busy day went well!
Liz, congrats on another sober day!
Eli... try not to feel guilty about your old job. I know that's easier said than done, but it is honestly pointless to beat yourself up over things you did wrong at a job you don't even work at anymore. I have to tell myself the same about my old job sometimes, but ultimately, all that matters is you don't make the same mistakes again. Try to move forward. Day 17 is awesome! I know what you mean about not believing the number, I really can't believe I'm at day 18 myself.
Forabetter life... 28 days! That is amazing. I'm only 10 days away from that but it seems like an enormous way away to me. Looking forward to getting there!
Sunnyflower I'm sorry to hear about your son's troubles :*( It's good you are there for him and that you know you can't control what's going on. Good for you for not drinking over it!
Telco, day 2! Awesome!
Marjoram, your walks sound like great therapy. I need to get back on the exercise train.
Soberjim... agreed, let's all finish Sept strong!
PHRD... glad I'm not the only one who's actually sleeping well, I almost feel guilty with so many others struggling. But I definitely had my share of CRAP nights of sleep back when I was drinking.
Mescal, glad you're with us and congrats on 3 days!
Sobersunshine & Benice, 3 weeks is amazing!!
Deepbreath, happy day 4! I am so glad your interview went well!
Lifewithoutbooz, I am so sorry to hear of what you had to go through with your husband. It sounds like you did the right thing getting yourself out of that environment for now. I wish you continued strength to deal with whatever the situation may bring.
Weasel1966, welcome! It sounds like it's a good time for you to join us. This is a great class
Avra... hi and happy sober Tuesday to you
Lefthook... a whole week is great! Glad you are making progress with your marriage as well.
Iwillwin... glad you're still here and still sober
SwingD hi and welcome... it certainly sounds like you may have an issue with drinking, but only you can really decide that. Either way we're glad you are here
Janelee, welcome and congrats on day 2
Bumble, congrats on day 6!
As for me, I'm finishing up day 18 here with a soda and a good book. I probably should be cleaning the house and/or studying for class tomorrow, but it's 9PM and I didn't get home from work until almost 8, so at this point I really just want to wind the day down. Like I said yesterday, I'm trying to give myself a little extra latitude to relax right now. Pretty soon, though, I will need to buckle down a bit more than I have been on studying and chores. I'm rather behind on housework :s
Have a great night all and a great day tomorrow!
rebmeM
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Airports, and hotel rooms
Posts: 34
I have made it through my second day of sobriety. It had it's ups and downs. I've been shaking and anxious, but being on here has kept my mind busy, and focused on my sobriety. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but each day is preparing me for the next.
Sleep sober, and well. Tomorrow is another day behind us, and another day looking forward.
Sleep sober, and well. Tomorrow is another day behind us, and another day looking forward.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Well, I almost never make an attempt to shout at everyone individually, so I'll take up the slack. (Hint, when I "go advanced" I can see clear back to 11am this morning! What a communicative group we have here )
lwb, I really felt for you reading your post this morning. I know that you are on the road to something better. It's hard when you can't see around all of the twisty bends, but I think you are right in following your gut, taking the junk out of the closet, and not drinking to boot. My thoughts are with you.
Groder, I'm one of the few and the lucky that also slept well last night. Let's spread the fairy dust around some, eh?
Weasel, welcome. I think it's terrific that you are willing to try all of the tools at your disposal. If nothing else, this class will keep you on your toes trying to keep up with the sheer number of us.
Sunny, I was a solitary drinker as well, to keep all of that stuff at bay. Glad you are feeling good about "feeling through it." I just had a blowout with my kids - well with one of them. The other one left the house because she was fed up. I look forward to the day I get to side with them against the world rather than suffering this sibling rivalry. (Not envying your current need to "side" though!)
Avra, hi yourself!
lefthook, so glad you are getting to spend time with your babies. I know they must be loving the sober you. It's really wonderful to hear you acknowledging that there is work to be done and you are willing to do it. Trust is a very difficult thing to rebuild, beyond words. But it can be done, with vigilance and a good dose of humility. You are on the right path!
Jimuk, you weren't happy drunk either. Might as well be unhappy sober - odds are better that happiness will find you sooner out of the bottle than in. But you know that. You are really a good supportive, soul. Thanks for keeping on with being here.
[B]eli[/B, you sound like maybe you're feeling better today?
DB, glad you got some "extra" sleep and will keep my fingers crossed for you on the outcome! When I interview, I try to look at it as practice, in case I don't get the position. Then I can say, "well, it was good to at least get some practice in for the next one!"
******Dee}}}
IWillWin! Yay, still sober!
jaz Excellent to see you in fine jazzy form. Hope your day went well for you.
Telco, my Day 2 buddy, good planning to get that sandwich on the way back to the room. My emotions don't flow like that, sometimes I wish they did. I pray that some of those tears were from relief. It's a whole new day. I am looking forward to hearing about Day 3 from you.
SwingD, there's a seat in the back by me if you want to sit over here. I think I'm going to swing back around to you on your very own post.
idea, Day 20 is awesome! I can't imagine staying up sober past 3am every day, ugh. (Well ugh, staying up til 3am drunk - worse!) Anyhow, glad you got some "good" sleep last night. Maybe it will be 2 tonight!
janelee, there's a seat on the OTHER side of me. Come hang out with me and Telco and let's go into Day 3 together.
bumble, whether it's Day 6 or 60, you have wisdom and experience. Don't knock yourself. I like your avatar, too.
Ok so there's been all kinds of stuff going on while I wrote this, so I might now be pages behind! Anyhow, writing to you all individually was fun PLUS it had the added boosted extra good effect of preventing me from driving to the liquor store after I (1) discovered one daughter had left the house, (2) had the second daughter yell at me about how everyone hates her and no one ever takes her side and she is going to be miserable for the next four years and she has no intention of changing anything because it's Not Her Fault, and (3) my "boyfriend" admitted he's been planning to go on vacation without me for a month.
Anyone else would say, "It's no wonder you drink," but I know you guys won't think that's a good idea. My AV can listen to everyone else, but I know you all have the real poop, so I'm sticking with you.
(Marjoram, the other Jims, Mark, hi!)
)lwb, I really felt for you reading your post this morning. I know that you are on the road to something better. It's hard when you can't see around all of the twisty bends, but I think you are right in following your gut, taking the junk out of the closet, and not drinking to boot. My thoughts are with you.
Groder, I'm one of the few and the lucky that also slept well last night. Let's spread the fairy dust around some, eh?
Weasel, welcome. I think it's terrific that you are willing to try all of the tools at your disposal. If nothing else, this class will keep you on your toes trying to keep up with the sheer number of us.
Sunny, I was a solitary drinker as well, to keep all of that stuff at bay. Glad you are feeling good about "feeling through it." I just had a blowout with my kids - well with one of them. The other one left the house because she was fed up. I look forward to the day I get to side with them against the world rather than suffering this sibling rivalry. (Not envying your current need to "side" though!)
Avra, hi yourself!
lefthook, so glad you are getting to spend time with your babies. I know they must be loving the sober you. It's really wonderful to hear you acknowledging that there is work to be done and you are willing to do it. Trust is a very difficult thing to rebuild, beyond words. But it can be done, with vigilance and a good dose of humility. You are on the right path!
Jimuk, you weren't happy drunk either. Might as well be unhappy sober - odds are better that happiness will find you sooner out of the bottle than in. But you know that. You are really a good supportive, soul. Thanks for keeping on with being here.
[B]eli[/B, you sound like maybe you're feeling better today?
DB, glad you got some "extra" sleep and will keep my fingers crossed for you on the outcome! When I interview, I try to look at it as practice, in case I don't get the position. Then I can say, "well, it was good to at least get some practice in for the next one!"
******Dee}}}
IWillWin! Yay, still sober!
jaz Excellent to see you in fine jazzy form. Hope your day went well for you.
Telco, my Day 2 buddy, good planning to get that sandwich on the way back to the room. My emotions don't flow like that, sometimes I wish they did. I pray that some of those tears were from relief. It's a whole new day. I am looking forward to hearing about Day 3 from you.
SwingD, there's a seat in the back by me if you want to sit over here. I think I'm going to swing back around to you on your very own post.
idea, Day 20 is awesome! I can't imagine staying up sober past 3am every day, ugh. (Well ugh, staying up til 3am drunk - worse!) Anyhow, glad you got some "good" sleep last night. Maybe it will be 2 tonight!
janelee, there's a seat on the OTHER side of me. Come hang out with me and Telco and let's go into Day 3 together.
bumble, whether it's Day 6 or 60, you have wisdom and experience. Don't knock yourself. I like your avatar, too.
Ok so there's been all kinds of stuff going on while I wrote this, so I might now be pages behind! Anyhow, writing to you all individually was fun PLUS it had the added boosted extra good effect of preventing me from driving to the liquor store after I (1) discovered one daughter had left the house, (2) had the second daughter yell at me about how everyone hates her and no one ever takes her side and she is going to be miserable for the next four years and she has no intention of changing anything because it's Not Her Fault, and (3) my "boyfriend" admitted he's been planning to go on vacation without me for a month.
Anyone else would say, "It's no wonder you drink," but I know you guys won't think that's a good idea. My AV can listen to everyone else, but I know you all have the real poop, so I'm sticking with you.
(Marjoram, the other Jims, Mark, hi!)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 76
Soberbythesea & Obladi--thank you both for the recap! You did what we all dream of doing...
I had a strange moment today. Sometimes I use the Bach Flower Rescue Remedy tincture when I'm feeling stressed or anxious. Don't know if it's a placebo, but it does seem to help. Well, today I got the spray version (you spray it on your tongue instead of putting drops under your tongue). When I sprayed it in my mouth, it tasted just like whiskey! I looked at the bottle and it says it has "27% alcohol." No kidding!
Never noticed this with the tincture, and I know that 2 sprays of this stuff has a very negligible amount of booze. But it did a number on my head. Maybe because the flower essence makes it smell & taste like some fancy digestif. Or just regular bitters. I swear, I have a cloud of booze vapors around my face. Whatever the case, I have to get rid of this stuff.
Which is a shame since I do like the calming effect of the drops. The things we have to learn by experience...
I had a strange moment today. Sometimes I use the Bach Flower Rescue Remedy tincture when I'm feeling stressed or anxious. Don't know if it's a placebo, but it does seem to help. Well, today I got the spray version (you spray it on your tongue instead of putting drops under your tongue). When I sprayed it in my mouth, it tasted just like whiskey! I looked at the bottle and it says it has "27% alcohol." No kidding!
Never noticed this with the tincture, and I know that 2 sprays of this stuff has a very negligible amount of booze. But it did a number on my head. Maybe because the flower essence makes it smell & taste like some fancy digestif. Or just regular bitters. I swear, I have a cloud of booze vapors around my face. Whatever the case, I have to get rid of this stuff.
Which is a shame since I do like the calming effect of the drops. The things we have to learn by experience...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Inbetween dances
Posts: 548
Hey all! Sorry I haven't had time to read earlier posts. I spent the day with my grandfather who passed away this evening. I'm still in shock. I don't really think it has hit me yet. I made a promise to myself and my kids that I quit drinking. After today, I want it more than ever...... And I also want to throw in the towel. But I'm drinking h2o and taking melatonin. Resting quietly on the couch. Scared to sleep, scared to stay wake..... At least he's re united with my mom, his daughter. Anyways, thanks for reading, have a good peaceful night--and sober too!
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Chardonnay, I am so sorry for your loss, and at the same time glad that you were able to spend the day with your grandfather. Yep, you made a promise to your kids and I think your mom and grandfather would both be pleased at this, no? Have a peaceful night...
HopingForZen, it's aggravating when you lose a post! Sometimes I work in Word or Notepad to be SURE I don't lose it, but sometimes I forget. In any event, it's good to see you here on Day 11. only 3 days til you can start counting weekS. ;0
HopingForZen, it's aggravating when you lose a post! Sometimes I work in Word or Notepad to be SURE I don't lose it, but sometimes I forget. In any event, it's good to see you here on Day 11. only 3 days til you can start counting weekS. ;0
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 540
Chardonnay, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you were able to spend time with your grandfather today.
Groder, I d jumped out my Resuce Remedy when I learned through another post on SR that it contained alcohol. Hadn't even thought about that. Also dumped the mouthwash and non-alcoholic beer, which does have a little bit of alcohol in it.
Wow there are so many posts. I have read them all, and I am thinking of all of you tonight. I am so grateful to be part of this class.
Groder, I d jumped out my Resuce Remedy when I learned through another post on SR that it contained alcohol. Hadn't even thought about that. Also dumped the mouthwash and non-alcoholic beer, which does have a little bit of alcohol in it.
Wow there are so many posts. I have read them all, and I am thinking of all of you tonight. I am so grateful to be part of this class.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 69
Chardonnay, so sorry to hear about your grandfather. Was this unexpected? I basically said goodbye to my dad today. He's having a medical procedure tomorrow related to the cancer, but he has heart issues so any kind of surgery is dangerous for him, so we said our goodbyes just in case. I'm lucky to have had that opportunity. Thinking about you. It's so incredibly hard. But I'm here if you want to talk. 
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Oh, HopingForZen, I feel for you. It's so difficult to just.... wait.
Buddhist Prayer for Peace
May all beings everywhere plagued
with sufferings of body and mind
quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power,
and may people think of befriending
one another.
May those who find themselves in trackless,
fearful wilderness--
the children, the aged, the unprotected--
be guarded by beneficent celestials,
and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.
Buddhist Prayer for Peace
May all beings everywhere plagued
with sufferings of body and mind
quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power,
and may people think of befriending
one another.
May those who find themselves in trackless,
fearful wilderness--
the children, the aged, the unprotected--
be guarded by beneficent celestials,
and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 259
Chard, I'm sorry for your loss but grateful you were able to be present and with him in his final hours.
Hfzen: I'm sorry to hear about your dad. You're in my thoughts
Everyone is in my thoughts tonight as I lie in bed with tears in my eyes...it's been a night of introspection.
I have a couple of obligations tomorrow, but hope to spend some time getting caught up on posts and writing...to you all and for me to share...it's time. I'm tired of living in shame and I do believe, in your company September family, I'm ready to tell my side...
I truly love each of you...my prayers are with you all. Day 5 here I come...again. This was last weeks record; let's surpass it this week, shall I?
Hfzen: I'm sorry to hear about your dad. You're in my thoughts
Everyone is in my thoughts tonight as I lie in bed with tears in my eyes...it's been a night of introspection.
I have a couple of obligations tomorrow, but hope to spend some time getting caught up on posts and writing...to you all and for me to share...it's time. I'm tired of living in shame and I do believe, in your company September family, I'm ready to tell my side...
I truly love each of you...my prayers are with you all. Day 5 here I come...again. This was last weeks record; let's surpass it this week, shall I?
rebmeM
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Airports, and hotel rooms
Posts: 34
Grocer - I threw out my mouthwash the day I quit. Also won't be using NyQuil if I get sick this winter. You never think of things that have alcohol in them until you get sober.
Chardonnay - I am deeply sorry for your loss. Stay strong, You've got friends here.
Hopingforzen - you are in my thoughts.
Deepbreath - You can do it! Take it well beyond 5 this time!
I lay here in bed, wanting to go get a soda from the vending machine. Restless, and can't sleep. Busy couple days till Sunday. Then I have a full week off. That is going to be the real test. Maybe I'll just hide in bed.
Chardonnay - I am deeply sorry for your loss. Stay strong, You've got friends here.
Hopingforzen - you are in my thoughts.
Deepbreath - You can do it! Take it well beyond 5 this time!
I lay here in bed, wanting to go get a soda from the vending machine. Restless, and can't sleep. Busy couple days till Sunday. Then I have a full week off. That is going to be the real test. Maybe I'll just hide in bed.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Chard sorry for your loss, losing a loved one is never easy but drinking wont make it any better.
LHook congrats on a week sober, that's awesome!!
Lifewithoutbooze hope eveything works out with your husband.
Insane doesn't even describe my day. I went for another walk with my dog down at the beach again tonight to unwind and there was a bonfire with about 30 to 40 people that was an AA meeting. I heard them going over the 12 steps as I was walking by. I've gone to a few different meetings in the past but people weren't very friendly but I like the beach scene so thinking about checking out the next one next week if I get off work in time.
LHook congrats on a week sober, that's awesome!!
Lifewithoutbooze hope eveything works out with your husband.
Insane doesn't even describe my day. I went for another walk with my dog down at the beach again tonight to unwind and there was a bonfire with about 30 to 40 people that was an AA meeting. I heard them going over the 12 steps as I was walking by. I've gone to a few different meetings in the past but people weren't very friendly but I like the beach scene so thinking about checking out the next one next week if I get off work in time.
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