Class of May 2012 Pt 7
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 568
Thanks for the kind words guys, I'm feeling better today. My logical side knows that everything is going to be fine, but my emotional side can't sleep at night when my son's bed is empty. This whole camp experience will probably do both of us some good, after all, he has to go away to college one of these days.
Our 4th of July celebration is low-key this evening. I'm making a curry for dinner (because nothing says "go America" like Indian food), and then we'll go watch fire works from the parking lot of a nearby high school. We're totally skipping my neighbor's party; it turns out that I don't like being around her that much when I'm sober anyway.
I'm feeling good about everything in general. I actually enjoyed my run this morning, picking up the pace and even going an extra mile at the end because I was enjoying the endorphins or whatever it is that makes runners happy. I have a long way to go before I'm back into the shape I want to be in, but progress is very motivating.
Anyway, Bob -- Costa Rica? That is really awesome. Have you been there before?
Hit, give your sweet doggie a good belly rub from me, okay? My dog (a super handsome corgi) likes to hide in the closet during storms and fireworks. Either that or he's on my lap. I wish I could just explain to him that those scary noises are nothing to fear.
Thursday, great job on the picture! I'll have to give it a try later.
FP, no rhyme for the 4th of July? Maybe you'll feel a flash of inspiration later today. If not, it is a holiday so you should enjoy your day off. Too bad about the cancellation of fireworks displays in your area. Stay dry!
Hey Emily, I know you can stay strong tonight. What game are you playing, is it the vampire game? What kind of character do you have? Sorry if I sound ignorant; I know very little about this. It sounds like a lot of fun though.
Our 4th of July celebration is low-key this evening. I'm making a curry for dinner (because nothing says "go America" like Indian food), and then we'll go watch fire works from the parking lot of a nearby high school. We're totally skipping my neighbor's party; it turns out that I don't like being around her that much when I'm sober anyway.
I'm feeling good about everything in general. I actually enjoyed my run this morning, picking up the pace and even going an extra mile at the end because I was enjoying the endorphins or whatever it is that makes runners happy. I have a long way to go before I'm back into the shape I want to be in, but progress is very motivating.
Anyway, Bob -- Costa Rica? That is really awesome. Have you been there before?
Hit, give your sweet doggie a good belly rub from me, okay? My dog (a super handsome corgi) likes to hide in the closet during storms and fireworks. Either that or he's on my lap. I wish I could just explain to him that those scary noises are nothing to fear.
Thursday, great job on the picture! I'll have to give it a try later.
FP, no rhyme for the 4th of July? Maybe you'll feel a flash of inspiration later today. If not, it is a holiday so you should enjoy your day off. Too bad about the cancellation of fireworks displays in your area. Stay dry!
Hey Emily, I know you can stay strong tonight. What game are you playing, is it the vampire game? What kind of character do you have? Sorry if I sound ignorant; I know very little about this. It sounds like a lot of fun though.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
Well, I made it through the day. Went to a meeting at lunchtime which got me out of my rut, even if it was a mad dash to the bus. And not the one I'd meant to get, but a different one. Had one of those attacks of paranoia that I get from time to time. Did I lock the door/turn off the gas/turn off the water/delete as applicable? things.
And then I spent the afternoon walking round Nottingham. Went to Spud-U-like and had the crushed potato with tuna and a whole pile of leaves. I think it was mostly leaves. Got stuff written up to type out - which I'll be doing next and then calling it a night. All was right with the world for a while.
Till I got to my games evening and nobody else showed up for ages - and when they did there was only one other person.
But while I was waiting, I wandered round almost aimlessly. Hoping my feet wouldn't be stupid. Finally got some pasta and a bar of chocolate. On my way back I passed the pub. I told myself I was not. going. in. there. I really wanted to, but I didn't, I carried back on to the FLGS.
What bothers me a little is that I didn't recognise that it was the AV being really unsubtle. True, I'd been feeling lonely and a little angry too, but I should have noticed. And this time, I didn't.
Anyway, I got back, ate 1/4 of the pasta (because that's how much of the pot contained the number of calories shown on the label) and 5 squares of chocolate. And even though the game didn't happen, it was still a not too bad evening in the end.
IWant2 - I'm sure there are a lot of good ones out there, and I'm sure you're one of them. I've been in (too many) lectures where the person taking them had their back to the students, mumbled at the board, and either expected you to be able to write at 90 miles an hour, or hardly wrote anything.
Congrats on day 36
FP - congrats on Day 53. Hope inspiration comes back to you. I'm sure it will. Hope the weather stays good, and also that the cats don't claw you too much.
HitRockBottom - glad to hear about your dad.
Harpo - nice to hear from you
Payton - where have you gone? Let us know how things are going, ok?
Saskia - glad things are going well for you at the moment.
Luling - no, you're not ignorant. At the moment, I'm not playing Vampire, although I have a couple of games of it lined up. (One short and in a couple of weeks, one longer and starting in September) I'm not sure what it was going to be tonight, because it didn't happen. And I'm not sure what it will be the Tuesday I come back from London either. And yes, it is fun.
I'll say good night folks. It's been a long day, but it's nearly over. Thanks for the support and encouragement. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm in recovery, just hanging on with white knuckles. But what do I know?
My next task is to get a sponsor. But that's for another day. For tonight, it's type things up and then bed. Sleep well. And love and hugs to you all.
And then I spent the afternoon walking round Nottingham. Went to Spud-U-like and had the crushed potato with tuna and a whole pile of leaves. I think it was mostly leaves. Got stuff written up to type out - which I'll be doing next and then calling it a night. All was right with the world for a while.
Till I got to my games evening and nobody else showed up for ages - and when they did there was only one other person.
But while I was waiting, I wandered round almost aimlessly. Hoping my feet wouldn't be stupid. Finally got some pasta and a bar of chocolate. On my way back I passed the pub. I told myself I was not. going. in. there. I really wanted to, but I didn't, I carried back on to the FLGS.
What bothers me a little is that I didn't recognise that it was the AV being really unsubtle. True, I'd been feeling lonely and a little angry too, but I should have noticed. And this time, I didn't.
Anyway, I got back, ate 1/4 of the pasta (because that's how much of the pot contained the number of calories shown on the label) and 5 squares of chocolate. And even though the game didn't happen, it was still a not too bad evening in the end.
IWant2 - I'm sure there are a lot of good ones out there, and I'm sure you're one of them. I've been in (too many) lectures where the person taking them had their back to the students, mumbled at the board, and either expected you to be able to write at 90 miles an hour, or hardly wrote anything.
Congrats on day 36
FP - congrats on Day 53. Hope inspiration comes back to you. I'm sure it will. Hope the weather stays good, and also that the cats don't claw you too much.
HitRockBottom - glad to hear about your dad.
Harpo - nice to hear from you
Payton - where have you gone? Let us know how things are going, ok?
Saskia - glad things are going well for you at the moment.
Luling - no, you're not ignorant. At the moment, I'm not playing Vampire, although I have a couple of games of it lined up. (One short and in a couple of weeks, one longer and starting in September) I'm not sure what it was going to be tonight, because it didn't happen. And I'm not sure what it will be the Tuesday I come back from London either. And yes, it is fun.
I'll say good night folks. It's been a long day, but it's nearly over. Thanks for the support and encouragement. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm in recovery, just hanging on with white knuckles. But what do I know?
My next task is to get a sponsor. But that's for another day. For tonight, it's type things up and then bed. Sleep well. And love and hugs to you all.
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Good Wednesday evening, my treasured May mates. The rain has held off, and the towns that had not cancelled their fireworks displays did their best to make it through the cloud cover for our enjoyment. I heard more blasts than I saw, but I'm glad the festivities were afoot after all.
My July 4th is a bittersweet mix of heartache and fun fireworks.
My dearth of verse inspiration has been accompanied with waterworks.
Our pensive and much-loved Desert Bard I cannot blame,
tho' I sorely miss our shared lyrical rivalry game.
Divorced a year ago this week started my ruminative slide.
Could not think of much else, as hard as I'd tried.
Today would have been our wedding anniversary.
Feelings of sadness and relief on this Day 53.
Took my first leap of faith with someone on SR and 'fessed up on my true he/she identity. After receiving a wrenchingly heartfelt PM, it seemed only fair to return the trust of privacy. By now, though, our loving and accepting May mates probably don't care one way or the other about any classmate's gender, except for that pesky GingerBeer character.
It's fun having each foot in both male/female roles, which offer an unexpectedly amusing freedom, but my original intentions were of self protection. I had been cyber-stalked (and in-person stalked) by my ex after attempting to help ex through horrific alcoholism by suggesting this incredible site. It was such a personal violation in receiving nasty e-mails and verbal taunts about my posts on SR, and you can surmise the toll it took on my sobriety at that time. As we were going through the separation and divorce, I learned a hard lesson about sharing a computer and wiping out website history.
This is my final attempt at an SR presence, and I am so grateful that I landed in this particular class. Truly like no other in which I've had membership, and I want to stay here. It's been a couple of months since I've seen ex lurking, and surely held my breath when I saw that name early on at the bottom of our May Class 2012, Part 1 thread. But, I will be reaching out more to all of you as my comfort level increases. Many of us post and PM so much personal information here in our class, and I want to be more of an honest part of our phenomenal whole.
Off to feed 2nd mom's herd of cats. Be back later tonight. Love and hugs to all.
My July 4th is a bittersweet mix of heartache and fun fireworks.
My dearth of verse inspiration has been accompanied with waterworks.
Our pensive and much-loved Desert Bard I cannot blame,
tho' I sorely miss our shared lyrical rivalry game.
Divorced a year ago this week started my ruminative slide.
Could not think of much else, as hard as I'd tried.
Today would have been our wedding anniversary.
Feelings of sadness and relief on this Day 53.
Took my first leap of faith with someone on SR and 'fessed up on my true he/she identity. After receiving a wrenchingly heartfelt PM, it seemed only fair to return the trust of privacy. By now, though, our loving and accepting May mates probably don't care one way or the other about any classmate's gender, except for that pesky GingerBeer character.
It's fun having each foot in both male/female roles, which offer an unexpectedly amusing freedom, but my original intentions were of self protection. I had been cyber-stalked (and in-person stalked) by my ex after attempting to help ex through horrific alcoholism by suggesting this incredible site. It was such a personal violation in receiving nasty e-mails and verbal taunts about my posts on SR, and you can surmise the toll it took on my sobriety at that time. As we were going through the separation and divorce, I learned a hard lesson about sharing a computer and wiping out website history.
This is my final attempt at an SR presence, and I am so grateful that I landed in this particular class. Truly like no other in which I've had membership, and I want to stay here. It's been a couple of months since I've seen ex lurking, and surely held my breath when I saw that name early on at the bottom of our May Class 2012, Part 1 thread. But, I will be reaching out more to all of you as my comfort level increases. Many of us post and PM so much personal information here in our class, and I want to be more of an honest part of our phenomenal whole.
Off to feed 2nd mom's herd of cats. Be back later tonight. Love and hugs to all.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
FP, Just thinking about you and sending a big cyber hug. You are truly loved. Take your time and make sure you can stay with us. It must be aweful having to look over your shoulder all the time. I am so thankful you are a part of this amazing May group and to call you a friend.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 513
Hey guys.
I haven't signed in since around the 28th. Things have been completely nuts here - I was sick with some kind of weird virus that caused extreme exhaustion and rash, my mom is visiting and the day she got here my daughter became very ill, then my mom got it, so I have been taking care of them while working, cooking, cleaning, managing our finances/my student loans/refinancing our mortgage and keeping up with my classes and dealing with my husband and coping and planning appointments regarding some medical issues of my own, hosting my father in law today as well as my mom, and trying to keep up my commitment to helping my friend who was injured in the accident. Everything I overcommitted to sort of hit me in an avalanche.
I also admit I have been avoiding the forum because I have been drinking, probably 2 drinks every day or other day, to keep up and slow down, which sounds absurd. I feel rather trapped in this pattern and feel like my success is just paling in comparison to everyone and am not working hard enough. I respect and love all of you so much so I just want to give back what this group is worth and I'm completely in awe of all of you. I have my second therapy appointment coming up and though I have impulses about every 30 minutes to cancel it I'm still going because I need it! I keep reassuring myself that I am investing in treatment and it is going to pay off.
I'm sorry I concerned so many people with my absence. For some reason I thought I had made a post about how I had visitors coming and I wouldn't be able to get online as much. It has been so insanely, insanely hot here (we don't have a/c) that life just seems kind of intensified and tiring.
Good news in that we finally paid off our bills and have $ left over for the first time. This is a big relief. Another new development is that my husband has been invited to interview for a job that would be LIFE CHANGING for us in terms of being about a 70% pay increase and an open door to anywhere he wants to go with his career. I cannot tell you how badly I want this to work out and so that is adding an element of...emotion, I guess, to my life.
My mom also just casually dumped a huge deal and secret she had kept from me for a long time today while we were out running errands which caused a lot of shock and many emotions for me and I am still processing that. Then of course she freaked out that she had done that to me in that way and started crying and the whole day was sort of a mess. I plan to discuss this in therapy.
I've really missed everyone and as things slow down soon I plan on being back for daily visits. I read through our last thread and this one and want to congratulate all of the milestones and all of the hard won sober mornings. Want to give love and comfort to those of us who had major struggles and are returning to the fight.
I planned on drinking tonight but I came here and caught up with everyone's stories instead. I need to return to trying to take care of myself and being sober and connecting with all of you is a huge part of that.
I love you guys very much.
I haven't signed in since around the 28th. Things have been completely nuts here - I was sick with some kind of weird virus that caused extreme exhaustion and rash, my mom is visiting and the day she got here my daughter became very ill, then my mom got it, so I have been taking care of them while working, cooking, cleaning, managing our finances/my student loans/refinancing our mortgage and keeping up with my classes and dealing with my husband and coping and planning appointments regarding some medical issues of my own, hosting my father in law today as well as my mom, and trying to keep up my commitment to helping my friend who was injured in the accident. Everything I overcommitted to sort of hit me in an avalanche.
I also admit I have been avoiding the forum because I have been drinking, probably 2 drinks every day or other day, to keep up and slow down, which sounds absurd. I feel rather trapped in this pattern and feel like my success is just paling in comparison to everyone and am not working hard enough. I respect and love all of you so much so I just want to give back what this group is worth and I'm completely in awe of all of you. I have my second therapy appointment coming up and though I have impulses about every 30 minutes to cancel it I'm still going because I need it! I keep reassuring myself that I am investing in treatment and it is going to pay off.
I'm sorry I concerned so many people with my absence. For some reason I thought I had made a post about how I had visitors coming and I wouldn't be able to get online as much. It has been so insanely, insanely hot here (we don't have a/c) that life just seems kind of intensified and tiring.
Good news in that we finally paid off our bills and have $ left over for the first time. This is a big relief. Another new development is that my husband has been invited to interview for a job that would be LIFE CHANGING for us in terms of being about a 70% pay increase and an open door to anywhere he wants to go with his career. I cannot tell you how badly I want this to work out and so that is adding an element of...emotion, I guess, to my life.
My mom also just casually dumped a huge deal and secret she had kept from me for a long time today while we were out running errands which caused a lot of shock and many emotions for me and I am still processing that. Then of course she freaked out that she had done that to me in that way and started crying and the whole day was sort of a mess. I plan to discuss this in therapy.
I've really missed everyone and as things slow down soon I plan on being back for daily visits. I read through our last thread and this one and want to congratulate all of the milestones and all of the hard won sober mornings. Want to give love and comfort to those of us who had major struggles and are returning to the fight.
I planned on drinking tonight but I came here and caught up with everyone's stories instead. I need to return to trying to take care of myself and being sober and connecting with all of you is a huge part of that.
I love you guys very much.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 568
(((FrenchPink))) You are always such a rock for all of us when we need a bit of encouragement and comfort, and it saddens me to know that you've had these difficulties. I can absolutely understand and respect your caution; anything it takes to become more at ease. Anyway, I think you're the cat's pajamas.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 513
Originally Posted by FrenchPink 
I want to be more of an honest part of our phenomenal whole.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 568
Yay!!! She's back!!! (((Payton)))
So sorry you're going through all this stress, Payton. I understand how it's hard to post when things have been so nuts lately. I do hope you keep that appointment with the therapist; you had such a positive first experience, so it's worth following through. And I sure do hope you and your family are well.
I understand about not wanting to post when you've been drinking regularly, but I think the bottom line is that you know you want to quit, and you'll get your mind in the right place to do it. That's what a support forum is for, so please don't let that keep you away.
Your husband's job opportunity sounds very interesting. I do hope it works out. It sounds like you're ready for something in your life to change, and I pray that this all works out for you.
Anyway, it's great to see you here. Hopefully things will slow down for you soon; you don't need any more stress! And for selfish reasons, I miss your posts! Hopefully we'll see more of you as your time frees up a bit.
Lots of love ... :ghug3
So sorry you're going through all this stress, Payton. I understand how it's hard to post when things have been so nuts lately. I do hope you keep that appointment with the therapist; you had such a positive first experience, so it's worth following through. And I sure do hope you and your family are well.
I understand about not wanting to post when you've been drinking regularly, but I think the bottom line is that you know you want to quit, and you'll get your mind in the right place to do it. That's what a support forum is for, so please don't let that keep you away.
Your husband's job opportunity sounds very interesting. I do hope it works out. It sounds like you're ready for something in your life to change, and I pray that this all works out for you.
Anyway, it's great to see you here. Hopefully things will slow down for you soon; you don't need any more stress! And for selfish reasons, I miss your posts! Hopefully we'll see more of you as your time frees up a bit.
Lots of love ... :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 513
Forgot to add that I found out that my dad may have a really concerning health issue and he is going for further testing. I also bent over to pick something up while looking in a different direction and banged my face into a piece of furniture and gave myself a black eye. So there's that. ha.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 568
Originally Posted by Payton
Forgot to add that I found out that my dad may have a really concerning health issue and he is going for further testing. I also bent over to pick something up while looking in a different direction and banged my face into a piece of furniture and gave myself a black eye. So there's that. ha.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Hey Payton, glad you posted. Welcome back I missed your posts. It sounds like you have been doing 3 full time jobs. Take care of yourself and I hope everything turns out well with your dad.
Goodnight classmates.
Goodnight classmates.
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Woo, hoo! Our Payton is back! I was missing your posts. I knew you couldn't leave us...we're all just too dang loveable.
Take good care of yourself, lady, in dealing with all of that crazy activity in your life. Deep breaths, plenty of exercise, lots of water, and a good rest every night. We love you!
Take good care of yourself, lady, in dealing with all of that crazy activity in your life. Deep breaths, plenty of exercise, lots of water, and a good rest every night. We love you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northeast Florida
Posts: 334
FP, Just thinking about you and sending a big cyber hug. You are truly loved. Take your time and make sure you can stay with us. It must be aweful having to look over your shoulder all the time. I am so thankful you are a part of this amazing May group and to call you a friend.
And Payton, thanks so much for checking in with us! I am always glad to see your posts. We missed you!
Congrats to everyone on their milestones.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hi everyone, just checking in. Really struggling at work, everything is just so stressful at the moment. I'm having sleepless nights and dizzy spells and just keeping my head above water!
The good news is I haven't drunk for 40 days....
I still read here every day, but no time to post.
Lots of love to you all.
Payton, so lovely to hear from you, stay with us xxx
The good news is I haven't drunk for 40 days....
I still read here every day, but no time to post.
Lots of love to you all.
Payton, so lovely to hear from you, stay with us xxx
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Rock: And you are my "rock." Glad you're doing so well on the sober front, especially as you are such a hard worker! Thank you so much for your reassurance and cyber-hug.
Bob/Iwant2: I have huge respect for teachers, and you sound like an excellent one. It's tough out there with the current political climate. Have a terrific time in Costa Rica. Hoping you can post a pic for us.
Saskia: Wonderful that you're doing well. Enjoy the sober reading material.
Luling: Curry for dinner, mmmm mmmm! Save me a plate. Nice that you're back to running again after your foot injury. Thank you for your reassurance, too. Cat's pajamas? I've had enough cat anything for a lifetime.
Emily: Sounds like you're continuing to do well in sobriety. Great! Is "Spud-U-Like" a real food joint? Sounds like a mock restaurant in a comedy skit.
Harpo: As always, it's great to hear from you. Thanks for checking in.
(((Payton))): Again, I'm soooo happy you're back with us. We're always here for you.
Thursday: My buddy in bursting the PM box at the seams! Thank you for your kind thoughts.
Jeni: Congratulations on your 40 days! So sorry to hear about your work stresses. Some jobs can really tear up your life. Huge hugs to you.
Flicked: Thank you so much for your thoughtful PM's tonight and your support. Hoping your classes go well for you. Love you, classmate.
Hugs of love to all. Planning to hit the sack soon. Here's to a sober tomorrow.
Bob/Iwant2: I have huge respect for teachers, and you sound like an excellent one. It's tough out there with the current political climate. Have a terrific time in Costa Rica. Hoping you can post a pic for us.
Saskia: Wonderful that you're doing well. Enjoy the sober reading material.
Luling: Curry for dinner, mmmm mmmm! Save me a plate. Nice that you're back to running again after your foot injury. Thank you for your reassurance, too. Cat's pajamas? I've had enough cat anything for a lifetime.
Emily: Sounds like you're continuing to do well in sobriety. Great! Is "Spud-U-Like" a real food joint? Sounds like a mock restaurant in a comedy skit.
Harpo: As always, it's great to hear from you. Thanks for checking in.
(((Payton))): Again, I'm soooo happy you're back with us. We're always here for you.
Thursday: My buddy in bursting the PM box at the seams! Thank you for your kind thoughts.
Jeni: Congratulations on your 40 days! So sorry to hear about your work stresses. Some jobs can really tear up your life. Huge hugs to you.
Flicked: Thank you so much for your thoughtful PM's tonight and your support. Hoping your classes go well for you. Love you, classmate.
Hugs of love to all. Planning to hit the sack soon. Here's to a sober tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,138
@Payton So glad you are back... we've all missed you.
@FP sorry to hear of the sad anniversaries. Nothing breaks this desert rat's heart like seeing an elephant cry.
So it's far too late on the 4th of July... now 5th of July and my 55th day sober. Deserto's whirlwind summer bachelor tour continues, with a birthday party last night and, today, a few hours at the beach followed by a circuit of backyard cook outs and a lovely fireworks display, which magically did not light the entire municipality afire. Wonder of wonders!
I admit I started the day debating internally if I wanted to drink. It was a strangely detached intellectual debate -- not quite the same thing as the AV speaking -- and I decided, simply, "not today." But in the course of the evening I ended up at a BBQ held by an old acquaintance who has just gotten back from his seasonal stint counting tortoises in the Mojave. He was telling a friend about accidentally picking up a mixed vodka drink earlier in the evening. "First alcohol that has passed these lips in a while," he said.
"You're not drinking?" I said.
"I'm taking a break right now," he said. And then added: "The break has been about two years now."
Something about that, as I stood on his little one acre compound admiring the house that he'd finally completed after years of work, just seemed so cool. I got his number and said, we should hang out some this summer.
@FP sorry to hear of the sad anniversaries. Nothing breaks this desert rat's heart like seeing an elephant cry.
So it's far too late on the 4th of July... now 5th of July and my 55th day sober. Deserto's whirlwind summer bachelor tour continues, with a birthday party last night and, today, a few hours at the beach followed by a circuit of backyard cook outs and a lovely fireworks display, which magically did not light the entire municipality afire. Wonder of wonders!
I admit I started the day debating internally if I wanted to drink. It was a strangely detached intellectual debate -- not quite the same thing as the AV speaking -- and I decided, simply, "not today." But in the course of the evening I ended up at a BBQ held by an old acquaintance who has just gotten back from his seasonal stint counting tortoises in the Mojave. He was telling a friend about accidentally picking up a mixed vodka drink earlier in the evening. "First alcohol that has passed these lips in a while," he said.
"You're not drinking?" I said.
"I'm taking a break right now," he said. And then added: "The break has been about two years now."
Something about that, as I stood on his little one acre compound admiring the house that he'd finally completed after years of work, just seemed so cool. I got his number and said, we should hang out some this summer.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
FP - as much as I love your humor and caring for others, I was especially moved by your post sharing with us a little bit more about yourself! "Anniversaries" can be pure he**. They can bring up so many old and painful memories. I know I would feel incredibly violated if my ex were stalking me here!
HRB -thanks for the support and suggestions!
Payton, so happy you're back!
Emily - I always enjoy your posts. They are so descriptive and well-written.
And for all our May banditos - you are a super bunch of friends and I appreciate all of your posts.
I've spent some time in the past several days reading other threads and that left me with the realization that we have a very unusual group here and I feel fortunate that I joined when I did.
I've realized that in order to remain sober, there are other things I need to do for myself. I still plan to read here and post some of the time but expect to be spending more time doing the other things I need to do. Sorry if I'm repeating myself!
HRB -thanks for the support and suggestions!
Payton, so happy you're back!
Emily - I always enjoy your posts. They are so descriptive and well-written.
And for all our May banditos - you are a super bunch of friends and I appreciate all of your posts.
I've spent some time in the past several days reading other threads and that left me with the realization that we have a very unusual group here and I feel fortunate that I joined when I did.
I've realized that in order to remain sober, there are other things I need to do for myself. I still plan to read here and post some of the time but expect to be spending more time doing the other things I need to do. Sorry if I'm repeating myself!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
Well, Day 32. Got my form of to the student loan people after getting it back from the doctors. It was cold earlier, but now it's sunny and (almost) warm.
Today I have to pack for my trip to London. It's not going to be a very productive day, and I'm going to be tied up for longer than I'd like. Such is life, and I'm not going to let it get to me.
I'm going down to London for a week, starting tomorrow, so I'm going to be out of touch for a while. I've got some meetings lined up for while I'm down there, so I won't be away from the programme. Or have I spelt that wrong? I know that when we're talking computers it's spelt the US way, but not when we're talking telly. Any others I'm not sure about...
But I digress. A week in London, away from the usual routine. Time spent with my beloved. Almost makes me worry about coming back Still I have a meeting to go to on the evening I return, so I'm ok there.
Smilie of the day... hmmm...
FP - The two anniversaries together... that must be tough. Love and hugs to you. Stay with us. We'd miss your words of wisdom, your poetry, and... well, we'd just miss you. And yes, Spud-u-like is a real chain. At least, I think it's a chain. I've only seen one of them (in Nottingham) although there may have been a whole load of them a few years back. Nottingham also has a Wimpy, so...
Payton - glad you're here again. Welcome back. We're here for you. If you feel that you're going to slip, post here first. It works, or at least, I think it does. It sounds like your life's been really stressful. Luling said it best, I think. You know you want to quit, and it's the difficult times that you can lean on us. And it's good to know that your life has it's good points. We've missed you.
Jeni - 40 days. Wtg! Hope things get less fraught at work soon.
Saskia - I know what you mean about having other stuff to do, or do I mean having to do other stuff? I try to get to a meeting every day, which means that on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I'm spending almost all day out of reach of the interweb. And as for repeating yourself, the number of times I've said to somebody 'How's it going? Or did I already ask you that?' is... too many to count.
Oh yes, I've arranged a health check for the 23rd of July. Wish me luck folks.
Have a good day folks. Whatever the weather, whether busy, resting, relaxing (and no, they're not quite the same thing) or stressed, remember that it won't get better with a drink.
Love and hugs to you all. And may your higher power go with you.
Today I have to pack for my trip to London. It's not going to be a very productive day, and I'm going to be tied up for longer than I'd like. Such is life, and I'm not going to let it get to me.
I'm going down to London for a week, starting tomorrow, so I'm going to be out of touch for a while. I've got some meetings lined up for while I'm down there, so I won't be away from the programme. Or have I spelt that wrong? I know that when we're talking computers it's spelt the US way, but not when we're talking telly. Any others I'm not sure about...
But I digress. A week in London, away from the usual routine. Time spent with my beloved. Almost makes me worry about coming back
Still I have a meeting to go to on the evening I return, so I'm ok there.Smilie of the day... hmmm...
FP - The two anniversaries together... that must be tough. Love and hugs to you. Stay with us. We'd miss your words of wisdom, your poetry, and... well, we'd just miss you. And yes, Spud-u-like is a real chain. At least, I think it's a chain. I've only seen one of them (in Nottingham) although there may have been a whole load of them a few years back. Nottingham also has a Wimpy, so...
Payton - glad you're here again. Welcome back. We're here for you. If you feel that you're going to slip, post here first. It works, or at least, I think it does. It sounds like your life's been really stressful. Luling said it best, I think. You know you want to quit, and it's the difficult times that you can lean on us. And it's good to know that your life has it's good points. We've missed you.
Jeni - 40 days. Wtg! Hope things get less fraught at work soon.
Saskia - I know what you mean about having other stuff to do, or do I mean having to do other stuff? I try to get to a meeting every day, which means that on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I'm spending almost all day out of reach of the interweb. And as for repeating yourself, the number of times I've said to somebody 'How's it going? Or did I already ask you that?' is... too many to count.
Oh yes, I've arranged a health check for the 23rd of July. Wish me luck folks.
Have a good day folks. Whatever the weather, whether busy, resting, relaxing (and no, they're not quite the same thing) or stressed, remember that it won't get better with a drink.
Love and hugs to you all. And may your higher power go with you.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Well hello everyone,
I wanted to check in. I have literally been wiping or vaccuuming or unpacking for 6 days straight. The closing and the move went well. Then I went to crazy town. I tried wiping every surface area available in the new house. I truly became obsessed with sanitizing the entire place, and then freaked out about cross contaminating with my shoes, my hands, the bottoms of the spray bottles. We moved to a woodsy area, so there have been more spiders, more flies, more bugs in general than I'm used to. So I hate being barefoot, I hate walking in the dark, and I hate walking away from my cup or plate for even a second. I've been averaging two meals a day of not very healthy stuff. I've lost a few pounds from that and from lifting, moving, unpacking, stairs, etc. After all my germaphobia and all my cleaning, I still got sick. Fever, headache, neck ache, cough. And I kept doing everything. I am worried I am turning into some relatives who have germaphobia and OCD about cleaning. I am exhausted. And today is my first day back at work. In fact, this moment is the first moment I've been alone in the house with a few minutes to spare. AndI came to post so I guess that's good. I've been reading the thread throughout all this but have just not known what to even post. I don't even know how I feel. I have not drank. We went out to eat last night while on an errand run, sat at the bar, ordered an iced tea. I usually never drank while I was sick anyways, so I'm guessing that's the bigger reason why I got sick at one of the most stressful times in my life. Enough about me.
Deserto, how serendipitous you came across that guy on a 2 year break from drinking. He may be just the person you need in your life right now.
Payton, glad you checked in here, and sorry you've had so much added stress right now and are drinking. By posting here I'm hoping you are ready again to give it a full on effort? I worry about your medical conditions you have spoken of before. Alcohol can only make any medical condition worse.
French, I think I think of you as an elephant. I have looked at my car radio thing that tells you the name of the band and song, and I've seen elephant twice and thought of you. I am okay not knowing your gender but when you're ready will certainly listen with my much smaller human ears.
Saskia, good luck and good for you for adding things to your sober repertoire.
Jeni, always good to hear from you. I feel like you are one of the first ones I remember reading when I found this site. I may have missed this, but is your husband still on board with you with sobriety?
Have a great day everyone!
I wanted to check in. I have literally been wiping or vaccuuming or unpacking for 6 days straight. The closing and the move went well. Then I went to crazy town. I tried wiping every surface area available in the new house. I truly became obsessed with sanitizing the entire place, and then freaked out about cross contaminating with my shoes, my hands, the bottoms of the spray bottles. We moved to a woodsy area, so there have been more spiders, more flies, more bugs in general than I'm used to. So I hate being barefoot, I hate walking in the dark, and I hate walking away from my cup or plate for even a second. I've been averaging two meals a day of not very healthy stuff. I've lost a few pounds from that and from lifting, moving, unpacking, stairs, etc. After all my germaphobia and all my cleaning, I still got sick. Fever, headache, neck ache, cough. And I kept doing everything. I am worried I am turning into some relatives who have germaphobia and OCD about cleaning. I am exhausted. And today is my first day back at work. In fact, this moment is the first moment I've been alone in the house with a few minutes to spare. AndI came to post so I guess that's good. I've been reading the thread throughout all this but have just not known what to even post. I don't even know how I feel. I have not drank. We went out to eat last night while on an errand run, sat at the bar, ordered an iced tea. I usually never drank while I was sick anyways, so I'm guessing that's the bigger reason why I got sick at one of the most stressful times in my life. Enough about me.
Deserto, how serendipitous you came across that guy on a 2 year break from drinking. He may be just the person you need in your life right now.
Payton, glad you checked in here, and sorry you've had so much added stress right now and are drinking. By posting here I'm hoping you are ready again to give it a full on effort? I worry about your medical conditions you have spoken of before. Alcohol can only make any medical condition worse.
French, I think I think of you as an elephant. I have looked at my car radio thing that tells you the name of the band and song, and I've seen elephant twice and thought of you. I am okay not knowing your gender but when you're ready will certainly listen with my much smaller human ears.
Saskia, good luck and good for you for adding things to your sober repertoire.
Jeni, always good to hear from you. I feel like you are one of the first ones I remember reading when I found this site. I may have missed this, but is your husband still on board with you with sobriety?
Have a great day everyone!
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