Codependency and Beyond - Part 24
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((SM)) - Congratuts on 5 months!
((Chino)) - sorry about the elbow
I asked my dr., yesterday, about my ankle. Without doing testing or anything (which I can't afford), I'm thinking it's arthritis and will continue to take ibuprofen or aleve.
((Lily)) - congrats on taking the time to learn who you are
I'm still learning, but I'm glad I'm nowhere near where I was 5 years ago. I was convinced that not only could I fix everything and everyone, I was convinced that anything bad that happened was my fault. What a relief to stop taking on all that responsibility.
We have now joined the states that have the unbearable heat. Under advisories for days, it was 103 degrees at 6 pm, last night.
My boss/friend just e-mailed me that he had put my final check in the bank. He and his wife worked for the company for 30 years. He says it feels weird, but "life goes on and so will we"
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
((Chino)) - sorry about the elbow
I asked my dr., yesterday, about my ankle. Without doing testing or anything (which I can't afford), I'm thinking it's arthritis and will continue to take ibuprofen or aleve.((Lily)) - congrats on taking the time to learn who you are
I'm still learning, but I'm glad I'm nowhere near where I was 5 years ago. I was convinced that not only could I fix everything and everyone, I was convinced that anything bad that happened was my fault. What a relief to stop taking on all that responsibility.We have now joined the states that have the unbearable heat. Under advisories for days, it was 103 degrees at 6 pm, last night.
My boss/friend just e-mailed me that he had put my final check in the bank. He and his wife worked for the company for 30 years. He says it feels weird, but "life goes on and so will we"
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Sunday, July 1, 2012
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Receiving
Here is an exercise.
Today let someone give to you. Let someone do something nice for you. Let someone give you a compliment or tell you something good about yourself. Let someone help you.
Then, stand there and take it. Take it in. Feel it. Know that you are worthy and deserving. Do not apologize. Do not say, "You shouldn't have." Do you feel guilty, afraid, ashamed, and panicky? Do not immediately try to give something back.
Just say, "Thank you."
Today, I will let myself receive one thing from someone else, and I will let myself be comfortable with that.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Receiving
Here is an exercise.
Today let someone give to you. Let someone do something nice for you. Let someone give you a compliment or tell you something good about yourself. Let someone help you.
Then, stand there and take it. Take it in. Feel it. Know that you are worthy and deserving. Do not apologize. Do not say, "You shouldn't have." Do you feel guilty, afraid, ashamed, and panicky? Do not immediately try to give something back.
Just say, "Thank you."
Today, I will let myself receive one thing from someone else, and I will let myself be comfortable with that.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
ok - let's see if i can catch up
SM - wahoo congrats to you & your HP on 5 months - that's awesome!
Chino - prayers of comfort & healing on your elbow - whatever route you decide to take ~ I pray the process is not too painful & doesn't take to long of a recovery period
Amy - last paycheck - ekk - I know that's scary for you - I pray this is just a path for another opportunity for you ~
Lisa - continued prayers for you, MW and all affected by the painful divorce process - especially his daughter
Lily - I attended my al-anon meeting yesterday & the topic was self-love and worthiness - we are worthy of the Next Right thing for ourselves - sounds like you are doing a great job at taking care of YOU!!
Regardless of minor chaos and difficulties - I am blessed far beyond what I deserve
Overwhelmed with gratitude ~
PINK HUGS to all,
Rita
SM - wahoo congrats to you & your HP on 5 months - that's awesome!
Chino - prayers of comfort & healing on your elbow - whatever route you decide to take ~ I pray the process is not too painful & doesn't take to long of a recovery period
Amy - last paycheck - ekk - I know that's scary for you - I pray this is just a path for another opportunity for you ~
Lisa - continued prayers for you, MW and all affected by the painful divorce process - especially his daughter
Lily - I attended my al-anon meeting yesterday & the topic was self-love and worthiness - we are worthy of the Next Right thing for ourselves - sounds like you are doing a great job at taking care of YOU!!
Regardless of minor chaos and difficulties - I am blessed far beyond what I deserve
Overwhelmed with gratitude ~
PINK HUGS to all,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Thanks, everyone. I'm going to deal with my elbow the same way I do my knee -- one day at a time. It's needed replacing for at least 15 years now. I'm getting a rehab session to learn what I should and should not do with it, then it's back to my new normal.
The surgeon really got me thinking about fear. He asked how much pain I was in at that moment, I said none, he said that wasn't normal lol. I take nsaids 3-4 times a year and a narcotic for my arthritis maybe once a year. My right knee has been rebuilt, same with my left ankle, and those are just two joints out of all the work I've had done. Over the span of 34 years, I've built up amazing pain tolerance. I've always accepted that I'm going to feel pain, experience debilitating pain sometimes, but I wasn't going to let it stop me from living my life and having fun, too!
So how come I turned into the biggest damn weenie with my daughter? When I dig down really deep, I think I must have had the martyr syndrome: "I'll spare you this pain, I'll take it on, because I can handle it."
What absolute BS. What a massive ego and lack of respect for her as an individual. I'd literally kick myself in the ass if I could bend my knee that far
The surgeon really got me thinking about fear. He asked how much pain I was in at that moment, I said none, he said that wasn't normal lol. I take nsaids 3-4 times a year and a narcotic for my arthritis maybe once a year. My right knee has been rebuilt, same with my left ankle, and those are just two joints out of all the work I've had done. Over the span of 34 years, I've built up amazing pain tolerance. I've always accepted that I'm going to feel pain, experience debilitating pain sometimes, but I wasn't going to let it stop me from living my life and having fun, too!
So how come I turned into the biggest damn weenie with my daughter? When I dig down really deep, I think I must have had the martyr syndrome: "I'll spare you this pain, I'll take it on, because I can handle it."
What absolute BS. What a massive ego and lack of respect for her as an individual. I'd literally kick myself in the ass if I could bend my knee that far
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Monday, July 2, 2012
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Who Knows Best?
Others do not know what's best for us.
We do not know what's best for others.
It is our job to determine what's best for ourselves.
"I know what you need." . . . "I know what you should do." . . . "Now listen, this is what I think you should be working on right now."
These are audacious statements, beliefs that take us away from how we operate on a spiritual plane of life. Each of us is given the ability to be able to discern and detect our own path, on a daily basis. This is not always easy. We may have to struggle to reach that quiet, still place.
Giving advice, making decisions for others, mapping out their strategy, is not our job. Nor is it their job to direct us. Even if we have a clean contract with someone to help us - such as in a sponsorship relationship - we cannot trust that others always know what is best for us. We are responsible for listening to the information that comes to us. We are responsible for asking for guidance and direction. But it is our responsibility to sift and sort through information, and then listen to ourselves about what is best for us. Nobody can know that but ourselves.
A great gift we can give to others is to be able to trust in them - that they have their own source of guidance and wisdom, that they have the ability to discern what is best for them and the right to find that path by making mistakes and learning.
To trust ourselves to be able to discover - through that same imperfect process of struggle, trial, and error - is a great gift we can give ourselves.
Today, I will remember that we are each given the gift of being able to discover what is best for ourselves. God, help me trust that gift.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Who Knows Best?
Others do not know what's best for us.
We do not know what's best for others.
It is our job to determine what's best for ourselves.
"I know what you need." . . . "I know what you should do." . . . "Now listen, this is what I think you should be working on right now."
These are audacious statements, beliefs that take us away from how we operate on a spiritual plane of life. Each of us is given the ability to be able to discern and detect our own path, on a daily basis. This is not always easy. We may have to struggle to reach that quiet, still place.
Giving advice, making decisions for others, mapping out their strategy, is not our job. Nor is it their job to direct us. Even if we have a clean contract with someone to help us - such as in a sponsorship relationship - we cannot trust that others always know what is best for us. We are responsible for listening to the information that comes to us. We are responsible for asking for guidance and direction. But it is our responsibility to sift and sort through information, and then listen to ourselves about what is best for us. Nobody can know that but ourselves.
A great gift we can give to others is to be able to trust in them - that they have their own source of guidance and wisdom, that they have the ability to discern what is best for them and the right to find that path by making mistakes and learning.
To trust ourselves to be able to discover - through that same imperfect process of struggle, trial, and error - is a great gift we can give ourselves.
Today, I will remember that we are each given the gift of being able to discover what is best for ourselves. God, help me trust that gift.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Originally Posted by Chino 
I'd literally kick myself in the ass if I could bend my knee that far
Well, recovery be damned, I am in full rescue mode
I am doing all of the paper work for the lawyer and building the case and NOT focusing on my life what so ever. . .
Although, I did just spend 9 days in a row with my family, not dealing with divorce at all. . .
uhhhhhhhg progress not perfection
oh yes, and it IS because I think I can do it better!! oh boy
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
Morning all,
Hope everyone is doing okay on this fine Monday morning? Noticed I didn't say fine lol
I missed all of you and thought of each of you often.
SM congrats of 5 months that is a heck of an accomplishment.
Chino all I can say about the elbow and knee is Ouch hope you feel better soon?
MS Pink I hope everything is still pink in your world?
I have been dealing with family crisis w/my Dad getting older as he is 83 and my sister is on her 3rd round of chem-o. The good new is I went and spent a week with them all in the beginning of June so I was so grateful for that visit. Plus I had some of the best Maine Lobster..Yum Yum.
Now I am home and dealing with financial drama and the threat of maybe having to move. I keep praying and trying to turn it over and saying okay God whatever your will is but you know that is bull because I want his will for me to be staying put in my home and not having to move. So I have lots of work to do in turning things over
Hopefully I will make it back on here more because I really miss you guys when I am gone.
Hope everyone is doing okay on this fine Monday morning? Noticed I didn't say fine lol
I missed all of you and thought of each of you often.
SM congrats of 5 months that is a heck of an accomplishment.
Chino all I can say about the elbow and knee is Ouch hope you feel better soon?
MS Pink I hope everything is still pink in your world?
I have been dealing with family crisis w/my Dad getting older as he is 83 and my sister is on her 3rd round of chem-o. The good new is I went and spent a week with them all in the beginning of June so I was so grateful for that visit. Plus I had some of the best Maine Lobster..Yum Yum.
Now I am home and dealing with financial drama and the threat of maybe having to move. I keep praying and trying to turn it over and saying okay God whatever your will is but you know that is bull because I want his will for me to be staying put in my home and not having to move. So I have lots of work to do in turning things over
Hopefully I will make it back on here more because I really miss you guys when I am gone.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((newby)) - I'm praying that your living arrangements straigthen out.
I am still grumpy, but have figured out it's from being home too much. With the heat, going anywhere is just not something I want to do - takes the car 15 minutes to cool down.
I did drop off an application to volunteer at the Senior Center nearby. Had to take a form to authorize a background check and motor vehicle record to the Marshal's office. Pretty sure you can imagine what my initials feelings were about dealing with the Marshal's office but at least I knew I had no outstanding warrants
They will let the Sr. Center know in about 4 days and I'm hoping I will hear something soon after that. Also had a very short phone interview with a temp agency I had signed up with. They said they had nothing avaiable but I could call once a week and check, so I will.
Sm and I just had a major fallout. NO ONE has taken any initative to figure out where we're staying in KY for the brat's wedding. I told sm I was still furious with her about her actions the other day and she could just get over it, like I had to get over when they were mad at ME for being stupid on dope.
It wasn't pretty, I told her that SHE is the one talking to brat every day, but as usual, is leaving everything up to dad and I. I did find pet friendly motels (we have to take the dog) but told sm SHE needs to find out where the hell the wedding is - all I know is one mention from bf that said his family is from an area the ONE time I met him.
I have decided, and made clear, that I am getting my own my room and if need be? I'll drive MY car and come back when I'm ready. I have the money, thanks to financial aid and I gotta tell you - that little bit of independence feels good and I want mooooooooore!!!
I shopped for outfits, only to find out that no one is dressing up for the wedding? Slacks and nice shirts? Okay, I'm going to buy a swimsuit because my classmate buddy has a pool in her neighborhood and one of the motels has an indoor pool. Trying to make something good out of something that had me in a rage just a while ago.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I am still grumpy, but have figured out it's from being home too much. With the heat, going anywhere is just not something I want to do - takes the car 15 minutes to cool down.
I did drop off an application to volunteer at the Senior Center nearby. Had to take a form to authorize a background check and motor vehicle record to the Marshal's office. Pretty sure you can imagine what my initials feelings were about dealing with the Marshal's office but at least I knew I had no outstanding warrants
They will let the Sr. Center know in about 4 days and I'm hoping I will hear something soon after that. Also had a very short phone interview with a temp agency I had signed up with. They said they had nothing avaiable but I could call once a week and check, so I will.
Sm and I just had a major fallout. NO ONE has taken any initative to figure out where we're staying in KY for the brat's wedding. I told sm I was still furious with her about her actions the other day and she could just get over it, like I had to get over when they were mad at ME for being stupid on dope.
It wasn't pretty, I told her that SHE is the one talking to brat every day, but as usual, is leaving everything up to dad and I. I did find pet friendly motels (we have to take the dog) but told sm SHE needs to find out where the hell the wedding is - all I know is one mention from bf that said his family is from an area the ONE time I met him.
I have decided, and made clear, that I am getting my own my room and if need be? I'll drive MY car and come back when I'm ready. I have the money, thanks to financial aid and I gotta tell you - that little bit of independence feels good and I want mooooooooore!!!
I shopped for outfits, only to find out that no one is dressing up for the wedding? Slacks and nice shirts? Okay, I'm going to buy a swimsuit because my classmate buddy has a pool in her neighborhood and one of the motels has an indoor pool. Trying to make something good out of something that had me in a rage just a while ago.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Newby-Hi there. I'm Lily. Joined the thread while you were away. 
for you, your dad and your sister. That is a lot to deal with.
Amy-Deep breaths and one day at a time. You are doing some great work while dealing with this situation. I hope the senior center works out for you and that the trip to the wedding is fun. I like that you are driving yourself and getting your own room. Great self-care. Proud of you hunny.
MsPink-I remind myself of that same thing to prevent the self-beatings.
~~~~~~~~
I have to be careful about giving advice and thinking I know better than other people do about how they need to deal with their lives. Right now I am doing better with that process. I listen to my friends and sometimes I do make suggestions but I rarely feel like I need to tell them what to do and how to deal with their issues.
Lately, I am really struggling with loneliness. The kind of struggle that has a history of landing me in a bad relationship or a very sick codependent friendship. I see the warning signs. I feel nervous energy building up within me. And I also found myself surfing personal ads. HUGE red flag for me!!! I am not judging myself for it. I stopped it quickly and now I am paying attention to the red flags.
I have to be careful about who I tell these things too because sometimes people judge me mercilessly for my "love addiction." It sure feels like an addiction. I have been fixating on love lately and feeling like I will never meet someone again. This fear of being single long term constantly makes me put myself in bad situations. I need to be careful.
No, surfing personal ads, no giving the 'eyes,' no asking about single guys, not putting myself out there! I am banning myself from dating until I can spend a significant amount of time alone and be okay. I'm really doing the work this time and I am not kidding myself into thinking its okay to find "some dude" to fit into my void. I need to fill my void.
This morning I was reflecting on my past relationships and realized I wanted to be something to someone so badly that I was a nothing to myself. I need to be everything to myself now.
Love and Light,
Lily
for you, your dad and your sister. That is a lot to deal with. Amy-Deep breaths and one day at a time. You are doing some great work while dealing with this situation. I hope the senior center works out for you and that the trip to the wedding is fun. I like that you are driving yourself and getting your own room. Great self-care. Proud of you hunny.
MsPink-I remind myself of that same thing to prevent the self-beatings.
~~~~~~~~
I have to be careful about giving advice and thinking I know better than other people do about how they need to deal with their lives. Right now I am doing better with that process. I listen to my friends and sometimes I do make suggestions but I rarely feel like I need to tell them what to do and how to deal with their issues.
Lately, I am really struggling with loneliness. The kind of struggle that has a history of landing me in a bad relationship or a very sick codependent friendship. I see the warning signs. I feel nervous energy building up within me. And I also found myself surfing personal ads. HUGE red flag for me!!! I am not judging myself for it. I stopped it quickly and now I am paying attention to the red flags.
I have to be careful about who I tell these things too because sometimes people judge me mercilessly for my "love addiction." It sure feels like an addiction. I have been fixating on love lately and feeling like I will never meet someone again. This fear of being single long term constantly makes me put myself in bad situations. I need to be careful.
No, surfing personal ads, no giving the 'eyes,' no asking about single guys, not putting myself out there! I am banning myself from dating until I can spend a significant amount of time alone and be okay. I'm really doing the work this time and I am not kidding myself into thinking its okay to find "some dude" to fit into my void. I need to fill my void.
This morning I was reflecting on my past relationships and realized I wanted to be something to someone so badly that I was a nothing to myself. I need to be everything to myself now.
Love and Light,
Lily
Paradox, Humor, Change
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Naples, FL USA
Posts: 888
Hello everyone, I have been working my brains out, and I am so glad to read everyones post. Its nice to know, that I am not the only one who has "stuff" going on. Newbie welcome back. I went to a couple of meetings tonight, first a CA meeting than an AA meeting. I had not been to a meeting in four days, the longest I have gone since getting sober. The power I find in meetings from my point of view, is nothing short of Gods grace. Why going to a meeting sets me free I don't know. I enjoy the ritual of it. I have read that addicts enjoy ritual. Regardless, God, Steps, and Four Agreements still leave me feelings a wee bit crazy with no meeting. So I was soooo glad to go tonight. I have one more day of work tomorrow, and then off for two days. Wew...
Regarding codenpency issues, I grew tonight. There is a put down artist in my Cocaine Anonymous meeting, that has been sober for what like 13 years I think. People call him Angry Tom. He is a gotcha guy. His routine is too question other peoples integrity, their sobriety, their motives, and basically he throws people under the bus. And I get my turn in the barrel with him from time to time. Before I was honoring the Four Agreements, my routine with a man like this would be to think.... "This guy is a *****" "This man is going to hell when he dies" and if I were intoxicated, or out of balance I would tell a person like this to go F - themselves. One of my Four Agreements is too not take anything personally. Another is too always do my best. As angry Tom was setting everyone straight tonight at the meeting the voice in my mind said somthing amazing. It said Tom might be feeling insecure or jealous or somthing maybe he is doing "the best" he can. The words "the best" or "doing your best" soothes the judge in my mind. Once I accepted that its possible he is doing his best, this odd feeling came over me. I felt compassion. I was not offended and did not personalize his scolding.
I found a new way to "not take anything personally". Woop, woop, woop!
Warmly,
SM
Regarding codenpency issues, I grew tonight. There is a put down artist in my Cocaine Anonymous meeting, that has been sober for what like 13 years I think. People call him Angry Tom. He is a gotcha guy. His routine is too question other peoples integrity, their sobriety, their motives, and basically he throws people under the bus. And I get my turn in the barrel with him from time to time. Before I was honoring the Four Agreements, my routine with a man like this would be to think.... "This guy is a *****" "This man is going to hell when he dies" and if I were intoxicated, or out of balance I would tell a person like this to go F - themselves. One of my Four Agreements is too not take anything personally. Another is too always do my best. As angry Tom was setting everyone straight tonight at the meeting the voice in my mind said somthing amazing. It said Tom might be feeling insecure or jealous or somthing maybe he is doing "the best" he can. The words "the best" or "doing your best" soothes the judge in my mind. Once I accepted that its possible he is doing his best, this odd feeling came over me. I felt compassion. I was not offended and did not personalize his scolding.
I found a new way to "not take anything personally". Woop, woop, woop!
Warmly,
SM
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
newby, prayers for you and yours. Heartache on top of upheaval is a rough ride.
Amy, yesterday I practically burned rubber pulling out of my driveway. Some days I feel like a caged animal and yesterday was one of them. I hope you get to volunteer. They'll add a spark of light to your day
Lily, what you're doing takes strength and honesty, and the reward makes it all worth it.
SM, when all else fails me, what you did tonight is always what saves me.
Folks, tonight I gave a lecture in front of two photography clubs. There were close to 100 people there. I froze for a moment at first, then didn't want to stop talking. I didn't have notes because I didn't prepare for it. I didn't commit to it until I walked in the door, then I did it all from memory. I've turned another corner
Amy, yesterday I practically burned rubber pulling out of my driveway. Some days I feel like a caged animal and yesterday was one of them. I hope you get to volunteer. They'll add a spark of light to your day
Lily, what you're doing takes strength and honesty, and the reward makes it all worth it.
SM, when all else fails me, what you did tonight is always what saves me.
Folks, tonight I gave a lecture in front of two photography clubs. There were close to 100 people there. I froze for a moment at first, then didn't want to stop talking. I didn't have notes because I didn't prepare for it. I didn't commit to it until I walked in the door, then I did it all from memory. I've turned another corner
Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
SoberMan-Awesome job at applying your principles and staying sober. Good for you.
Chino-You are doing great too! I'm so proud of you for doing your speech, from memory no less! Wowzers! And thank you for acknowledging the work I'm putting in.
Picked up a book and just started reading. Books really calm me and take the nervous energy away. I'm having a go at the Lord of the Ribgs trilogy again. I'm going to try and get into it. Maybe I'll actually read it all this time. It saved me from myself tonight.
Love and Light,
Lily
Chino-You are doing great too! I'm so proud of you for doing your speech, from memory no less! Wowzers! And thank you for acknowledging the work I'm putting in.
Picked up a book and just started reading. Books really calm me and take the nervous energy away. I'm having a go at the Lord of the Ribgs trilogy again. I'm going to try and get into it. Maybe I'll actually read it all this time. It saved me from myself tonight.
Love and Light,
Lily
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Directness
So much of our communication can reflect our need to control. We say what we think others want to hear. We try to keep others from getting angry, feeling afraid, going away, or disliking us. But our need to control traps us into feeling like victims and martyrs.
Freedom is just a few words away. Those words are our truths. We can say what we need to say. We can gently, but assertively, speak our mind.
Let go of your need to control. We do not need to be judgmental, tactless, blaming, or cruel when we speak our truths. Neither do we need to hide our light. Let go, and freely be who you are.
Today, I will be honest with others, and myself knowing that if I don't, my truth will come out some other way.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Directness
So much of our communication can reflect our need to control. We say what we think others want to hear. We try to keep others from getting angry, feeling afraid, going away, or disliking us. But our need to control traps us into feeling like victims and martyrs.
Freedom is just a few words away. Those words are our truths. We can say what we need to say. We can gently, but assertively, speak our mind.
Let go of your need to control. We do not need to be judgmental, tactless, blaming, or cruel when we speak our truths. Neither do we need to hide our light. Let go, and freely be who you are.
Today, I will be honest with others, and myself knowing that if I don't, my truth will come out some other way.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Lily, I started my recovery here on SR, and the thread I landed on was this one, so my first 12 step program was for codies. I do my 12 step meetings and my sponsor work with AA. A year after being sober I took the "are you an alcoholic" test, and didn't answer very many yes, although I know I am and never want to drink again
A year after that, I ran across a quiz for sex and love addicts, and I answer yes to all but one question I think =)
you are not alone. My current bo, MW, was my AA sponsor. I had no crush on him, but always a crush on someone. After a particularly unsatisfying crush on the tattoo artist, I decided to work on me, as you are doing.
I read "A Woman's Worth" by Marianne Williamson, started getting into The Course of Miracle, learned and practice meditation. I put time and effort into developing my friendships and went to a ton of meetings, and eventually became mostly serene in solitude
and then got in a relationship hahahaha. I suspect when/if this one ends I will have to do some of the work all over again =)
At least now I believe it is worth while work!
A year after that, I ran across a quiz for sex and love addicts, and I answer yes to all but one question I think =)
you are not alone. My current bo, MW, was my AA sponsor. I had no crush on him, but always a crush on someone. After a particularly unsatisfying crush on the tattoo artist, I decided to work on me, as you are doing.
I read "A Woman's Worth" by Marianne Williamson, started getting into The Course of Miracle, learned and practice meditation. I put time and effort into developing my friendships and went to a ton of meetings, and eventually became mostly serene in solitude
and then got in a relationship hahahaha. I suspect when/if this one ends I will have to do some of the work all over again =)
At least now I believe it is worth while work!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
We say what we think others want to hear.... We do not need to be judgmental, tactless, blaming, or cruel when we speak our truths.
I feel like Popeye "I yam what I yam"
Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Thank for sharing Lisa. It is so good to know I am not alone in my struggle. I'm getting better.
Saw my therapist today, went to Al-Anon, then had lunch with my sponsor. All in all a successful growth-filled day.
It is so good to know I am not alone in my struggle. I'm getting better.Saw my therapist today, went to Al-Anon, then had lunch with my sponsor. All in all a successful growth-filled day.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I am seriously going to explode any day now. I did get a dress for the wedding - can dress it up for the wedding (mildly, since "they don't dress up up there") and also can wear it to an interview IF I ever get one.
Dad is now concerned about us getting motel rooms? Gee, I asked about that 2 months ago. Seems the one I made reservations for is not so nice, after going back and forth with dad, we have new rooms and it's almost $400 for 2 rooms 2 nights? Sm is having a fit, saying we can't afford it and dad and I both asked her if she'd like to sleep in the van.
The wedding is not in a church, it's on a mountain. Please, God, don't make us climb up a mountain in the heat of the afternoon!
I've gained 10 pounds since I quit smoking and am NOT happy. I still have to get my hair cut, pack, but I think I have everything else taken care of. Am going to see how early my classmate buddy will let me come over tomorrow and laugh and have fun.
Sorry to whine, but it's just been one of those weeks. I did get a swimsuit and if things get funky at the wedding, which I seriously doubt they will, I have MY room and a big indoor pool
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Dad is now concerned about us getting motel rooms? Gee, I asked about that 2 months ago. Seems the one I made reservations for is not so nice, after going back and forth with dad, we have new rooms and it's almost $400 for 2 rooms 2 nights? Sm is having a fit, saying we can't afford it and dad and I both asked her if she'd like to sleep in the van.
The wedding is not in a church, it's on a mountain. Please, God, don't make us climb up a mountain in the heat of the afternoon!
I've gained 10 pounds since I quit smoking and am NOT happy. I still have to get my hair cut, pack, but I think I have everything else taken care of. Am going to see how early my classmate buddy will let me come over tomorrow and laugh and have fun.
Sorry to whine, but it's just been one of those weeks. I did get a swimsuit and if things get funky at the wedding, which I seriously doubt they will, I have MY room and a big indoor pool
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
