newby1961

Morning overs,

Itchy~~ "Newby,
I have found that our actual travels and experiences tend to exceed many people's capacity to believe. Name it and except for the Orient and down under, we have pretty much done many of the things we wanted to do, and been to many places from the top of the Alps to the bottom of the Red Sea, and from the valley of the Kings, to the top of the Andes in Bogota. We aren't quite done yet."
Very well said my friend and I hope to God we are not done yet? Lol

TP when I hear stories like that I just think those are yets for me and sometimes when I think about relapsing I think about those yets and it gives me strength. I don't think for me I want to think I am not a certain type of alcoholic cause my disease loves me to think I am different and in the past that has proved to be a slippery place for me to be at.

WITF :day2 and glad to have you with us.

Have an awesome day all. And remember if no one told you yet today

Tippingpoint

Great advice Newby. Thank you for it.

Rusty Zipper

FBL, is that larry m from the beav?

Manz

Tibetan saying "Nine times fall down, nine times pick yourselves up"

instant

Thank for the reminder TP.

frances2011

Great reminder TP. If I don't drink, I won't get drunk and won't wake up hungover. Such a simple equation but it works for me.

I have no desire to drink. The smell turns me off, and the calories strike me as a complete waste. If I opened the door to "one is OK once in a while," would I feel differently? I'm so far away from that possibility that the question is moot. May SR keep me this way!

Spend good time last night stretching out my sore back and hip muscles. I slept really well and woke up relaxed.

Happy Olympics Opening Day! Da-DAAAA-da-da-da-DAAAAA-da.....what event are you excited for? I'm looking forward to the marathon, gymnastics, canoeing......

FBL

Yep, one of my all-time favorite characters from one of my all-time favorite shows.

Well, the Brewers lost (again) last night, but I had a great time. I had 2 hot dogs, some ice cream and a big ol' soda pop. Reminded me of when my dad used to take me to games as a kid. The guy across the aisle from us was keeping the beer vendors hopping. He must've had about one an inning and at $8.25 per 16oz. beer, that's a lot of cash! At one point my friend leaned over, pointed at the guy and said "that used to be you"! Very true and it really made me smile. So glad those days are behind me now.

Have a great weekend, all!

Tippingpoint

Interesting insight about feeling like a kid again. That's often how I feel these days. Last night after our squash matches the rest of the guys on the team were exacerbating their states of hydration with copious quantities of beer while I was sucking back a protein and carb rich chocolate milk! One of the guys even said to me..."you're like a kid"!

Sobriety = fountain of youth?

LotusBlossom

"Alcohol is no longer part of my life."

No more, no less. The thought that I say to myself (unknowingly now) every day, many times a day.

Physical completed yesterday for work. Have to call the movers today to schedule an appointment. Trip to Illinois to look @ two apartments...though only one has availability. Just have to make sure it looks as nice as it does online - though that's the one I had inside help with my other sober friend on another recovery site. Her hubby said it was a really nice apt complex and they (the police - he's the officer) *never* get calls out there. The only thing that's semi holding me back is that the deposit (with my pets) is going to be close to $1100. Yikes! I think the relo company pays for part of that (nearly $800...I hope). So it's not AS bad but still. Sheeeeeeeeesh. After I get back in town tomorrow, I have a server wide event in my game I play that I'm hosting. I love getting together with lots of different people! So much fun. Should be around 50 people.

Sunday = cleaning day. I also purchased a deal that is 3 hours of cleaning ANY WAY I SPECIFY (so if I say clean my fridge! they'll do it) for $67 bucks!! I thought it was a steal and I will need it after my apartment is empty. I cannot wait! Even though I'm paying for it, it will be well worth it (I hope) and that takes a huge load off my mind.

I posted this up on the other recovery board I'm on and wanted to share it with you all...



"You know - I went to an AA meeting tonight (I was bored and drove by it and was like hey there's 5 mins till it starts why the heck not).

They were talking about gratitudes tonight. You know - I got to thinking. At first (when I first got sober) I was grateful for everyone convincing me that feelings would not kill me. They were just feelings. I would live and didn't need to drink. That gave me contentment, a peace, the strength to slowly deal with my past bit by bit.

Then came my illness. Oh jeebus. That was awful. Again - at the urging of everyone - I kept going to the dr's I kept demanding answers. One of the answers I was given was that "You know you've probably had this since 2005 (based on my symptoms). I can guarantee you were drinking alcohol to dull/numb the pain." and me still having the strength and the sense of humor to realize my first thought was "THE DOCTOR SAID I COULD DRINK AGAIN!!!!!" to point that out to him, laugh about it (despite being in terrible pain again) and hopefully make him more aware/a better doctor for alcoholics. This gave me amazing gratitude...but from that gratitude came the belief that I can do anything life throws at me, I can overcome, and an amazing self-confidence.

Then came Mike's passing. Wow. That...threw me in a tailspin. Only just recently, though, have positive feelings started to outweigh the grief and angst I felt from it. Chrimany, the gratitude I feel for him...I can never ever say enough, EVER. From him, however and that gratitude for everything he gave me, all of you know that I was able to get this new job...and the self confidence and transformation in me...it's like the old me. I haven't felt this confident about myself since I was 17 and applying for scholarships for school, etc. Sure, I was drinking alcoholically at 17 but it hadn't eaten away my soul yet.

All I am trying to say is that this started with one grain of gratitude. And a little faith. I never WANTED to be grateful for ANYTHING because that meant that there wasn't the entire world that had wronged me. Let gratitude in your life...I think you'll be amazed at what a gorgeous garden it turns into on down the road."



I hope you guys have a great weekend!

instant

LB thank you for mentioning gratitude. It has become a reference point for me now. I think being grateful is really important and if my capacity for it diminishes it is a warning sign for me. I think it is the best one sign I have to measure where I am at.

I still have a way to go in having what I think of as an open heart. It is the "slings and arrows" of daily life (not outrageous fortune..LOL) that continue to test me, and tempt me to distrust and become defensive. Yesterday a comment to me by a colleague in a forum struck me as very unfair. I have come quite a way in that I did not retaliate. I felt the hurt and it has played on my mind. I am developing much better skills in negotiating interpersonal dramas and issues but I am a work in progress.

dickensen

Instant,

I read your daily posts and very much appreciate them.
Don't sweat the small stuff. The slings and arrows will continue as they are part of life.
You are a great journey and you have made a lot of progress. Just compare the good old boozing days and now. This is what counts.
Anyway thanks again for your posts.

Rusty Zipper

larry shure had some "ism's"

hmmm, i just wonder? lol

FBL

HA! Yeah, I think Larry had some weird family issues as well. His mother was quite a bit older than the other moms, his father was never home and his big sister was already married and out of the house.

True story: Jerry Mathers and Tony Dow came to my college on a speaking tour in the 1980s. During the Q&A segment, I asked Jerry Mathis if there was any truth to the rumor that he died in Vietnam. Without missing a beat, Tony Dow replied, "Yeah...but he's better now"

ReadyAndAble

Yep, the best revenge is to not be like them. So says my good friend Marcus Aurelius.

Gratitude? I hear that, LB. I try to keep a cabinet full of it all times. No better way to wash off the mud of daily life. Acceptance is another skill I am honing. Of everything, up to and including my own inevitable death. To stop judging all the things that happen to me, to stop labeling them as good or bad. It's not what happens to me that matters; it's how I respond, both in thought and in deed.

I was just sharing with some friends on another thread this quote from Epictetus, the Chuck Norris of Stoicism:

Itchy

I loved The Beave too guys. I don't have the memory for detail you guys have though.

I have been reading more than posting lately. Not because I don't have much to say, but because I am more impressed with how different recovery is for each, while remaining the same. I also feel a bit out of place because while so many are still struggling, I am not. At least not with my recovery. Sure I occasionally get a reflex memory of how nice it was before I became addicted physically to alcohol to have just one once in a great while. But I happily can never drink again. Happily not regretfully. I knew if I could just get straight and detoxed, I could take it from there. On my own I could not go more than at most 8 hours without alcohol sleeping. Then I had to drink to stop shaking immediately on waking. Then my life was a struggle. Not financially,nor with family. Just timing supply runs for on the way home from work until I retired again and could fill those empty of alcohol eight hours five day weeks with alcohol too.

I didn't quit alcohol, I divested myself of that unwanted burden, and after decades was able to finally put the burden down.

That means I don't think about it at all anymore as relates to me. I am recovered while at the same time aware that if I drink one, I was trapped before it touched my lips once more.

I am well. My focus in life now is simplifying. I have again amassed a plethora of "stuff" again. No debts, no liabilities just lots of nice stuff that I have finally admitted I will never use. My hallway is loaded and I am moving it all to my smaller steel building as my sorting and showing area for yard sales and storage. Except for family heirlooms, photos, and antiques, the rule is if we haven't actually used it in the last year, the we will sell it, donate it, but first put my grown sons to work and give them fist pick.

We aren't hoarders or messy, quite the opposite. But "stuff" doesn't make me a better person, or happier. As if an inanimate object could. An arrogant jerk with nothing is no worse than an arrogant jerk with everything.

I have always thought that life was more about the journey, than the destination. I also realize it isn't about matching luggage for the journey, in fact fussing over nice stuff, protecting it from another taking it, dusting it, storing it, repairing stuff when it breaks, leaves little room for enjoying the scenery on the trip.

Pulling out stuff to get rid of also brings back pleasant memories. And I have already found some stuff I can use, just in time before I bought more.

Life is pleasant, I am so over my alcoholism. I still always have a drink in my hand, just not alcohol.

Itchy

Amen R&A, well said. George Herbert completes that thought for me. If the best revenge is not being like them, then the best revenge is living well.

Many folks in becoming responsible young adults are told to leave their childish ways behind. As a result they throw the baby out with the bathwater. Many get rid of their child-like sense of wonder, along with childish behaviors. My childlike sense of wonder makes my life one of receiving wonder all the time, with little time to fret about my ego. And no time for toxic substances or entities.

One wondrous thing I have found is that you can't catch, and pitch, at the same time.

Itchy

Oops!
Can't edit here. My stuff is in the hallway after sorting it all from closets and cabinets, desks and shelves. We don't keep stuff in the hallways. I just stack it there as I go through and then move it all to the shed, which has A/C. Then there I file the papers I need to keep, and sort the rest for what type of sale, donation, or giveaway to kids. And if my kids don't return my calls of earlier they get left out as I won't wait over the weekend to get at it. Gotta go work now.

It's OK once I get started. Then it is fun.

Rusty Zipper

fbl, do you happen to remember an epside where the cleavers had a alcoholic handyman or gardener?

i think wally took the rap for the boozer.

why at such a young age did i remember that till this day???

i know why! lol

instant

Hey guys I am up late on a Sunday morning. It's 10.30. This is rare for me. The house is quiet my family probably having gone for rides, runs and such. Catching up with posts whilst having tea and crumpets is nice.

Itchy I felt trapped for at least 6 years if not longer. I was still trying to bend the rules however. Now I am free. I do not look back with sentimentality or feel that I am missing out. I still get ideas of fancying a drink from time to time, but I now feel I understand that phenomena for what it is rather than regarding it as a 'good idea'. Living sober is an adventure to be cherished. I am grateful to finally have the opportunity.

I might take this opportunity to venture out into the garden.

Enjoy your day everyone.

FBL

Yeah, I just saw that one a few months ago. It's a third season episode called Beaver And Andy. I thought the episode was well-written and had some timeless truths about alcoholism. I'm working my way through the entire series on DVD, so I can get my "Beaver" fix whenever I feel like it.