Saskia

I haven't finished the Tao of Sobriety but am well into it. I seem to do better with good imagery and the image of a cacaphony of voices in our heads and the concept of aligning with a kind and caring voice to work with to become the "manager" is one that hits me in the right place.

I also like seeing that multiple methods of recovery can co-exist and think that they can be reinforcing. (1+1 can result in more than 2).

I appreciate the warm and non-judgmental welcome back posts - they are helping me to feel more comfortable and get back on track. Perhaps the first lesson I am learning is that a slip doesn't need to lead to a slide - as it has often done in the past. I do, however, look forward especially to getting to 30 days of sobriety. Somehow that seems like a major milestone. I think I read somewhere that it takes at least 30 days to make or break a habit.

Today I'm focusing on my sobriety rather than trying to do everything on my endless "to do" list.

Deserto

"Today I'm focusing on my sobriety rather than trying to do everything on my endless "to do" list."

Good for you, Saskia. I'm definitely coming around to the notion that you have to put yourself first (and self care first) for all the other things to fall into place. Most of my life I've worn myself ragged with work and obligations... so of course the only thing I've ever wanted to do was "check out" as soon as I had a spare moment.

"(1+1 can result in more than 2)." That's a great thought to keep in mind.

Slightly out of it on Day 22
so where to begin?
I think I'll go for a swim
And sweat out the last of this flu.

[Accepting my demerit for the false rhyme. Oh well...]

flickedhisbic

So not including my little screw up today makes 3 weeks sober (I think I lost count again). Today my dad is coming up and helping me pack and then I think next weekend I'll be out of here.

Last night was difficult I've done my fair share of coke and most of it has been within the past year with one specific friend of my roommates and she was over last night. Pulling the cliquey s*it that has been going on since things fell apart between my roommates and I at the beginning of may. So I just really wanted to get trashed and do coke with her again so I wouldn't have the same icky bullied type feeling I did in middle school.

But I also had a great few days with my childhood best friends. We've known each other since we were 5 years old and we had lost touch. One of them had become a Benedictine Nun and I am about the farthest thing from religious so we had nothing in common. But she took her final vows on Thursday and our other friend and I went and stayed at the abbey for a couple days just to hang out. I got a lot of side eyes from the other nuns though for skipping out on all the prayers. lol. But it was nice to be with friends and in an environment where there was no alcohol.

I also told them about everything going on with me and they were more understanding than just about anyone I've talked to so far. So we are definitely going to be better about staying in touch. I need them right now.

Saskia

Flicked..., congratulations on your 3 weeks! and I agree that sometimes reconnecting with old friends can be good, especially so when they are accepting about our difficulties.

Way to go!

Iwant2

Hang in there Sakia:ghug3. Keep at. We are all pulling for you.

Saskia

Thanks, Iwant! I'm relaxing and posting today to maximize my ability to stay sober today. There are so many good "signature" lines on this forum and yours is one of my favorites :-)

Saskia

Deserto - nope, not a demerit but you should get 10 lashes with a wet noodle for that delightful little rhyme :-)

Feel better!

Easyrider

Hello everyone! I'm only really counting days when I check in here but it's 16 days now since I last drank. I'm drinking so much diet pop. I've recently discovered Dr. Pepper Zero and it is so awesome. It tastes just the same as the regular version but without all the sugar. I was looking longingly at the Corona Extra in the shop today, ice cold with a lime in the top mmmm. But I wasn't tempted at all. It was more a memory of something I used to enjoy but don't do anymore. Dunno if that makes sense or if it sounds like denial! I continued my shopping anyway buying fresh fruits and vegetables and no meat as I'm becoming more guilty as the days go on. I love eating steak and bacon sandwich and seafood is my favourite. But the guilt was always at the back of my mind with the fog of alcohol and it's coming back with a vengeance now. My brain is thinking, you wouldn't eat dogs or cats but it's fine to eat cows and pigs? I just can't get over how crazy it is. I'm smoking more than ever though. It's so frustrating. It's definitely more addictive than alcohol in my opinion. It makes me stink as well as my house. Plus it's making my teeth brown! And the price, for bit's of dried leaves and paper is mental! Never mind all the other obvious negatives. But I can't stop. Makes me want to scream. I'm going to book an appointment with the doctor to see if I can quit the evil weed once and for all. I'll post some more bollocks later. Keep sober people! x

Deserto

Congrats on 16 days Easyrider! Great post -- it's interesting how our minds start to race with sobriety.

Dr Pepper Zero... hmmm... might have to look for that (as though I need another soda in my life...)

Saskia

Ah, EasyRider - I had forgotten about that addiction! I smoked for 20 years and quit (almost) cold turkey. That was in the days before the various smoking aids were developed except for Nicorette gum which didn't help me anyway.

I went to a free stop smoking program at the local Seventh Day Adventist Church. Now, mind you, I don't consider myself religious though do think of myself as spiritual but this was a dynamite group. 10 of us and there was a doc from the congregation who brought in a spirometer to test our lung function. I noticed barely any effects despite smoking 3 packs/day (Saskia never does things in half measures!) but he said my test showed my lung capacity was at 75% of normal. That meant beginning of disease in my small airways. He said that I wouldn't notice serious symptoms until my lung capacity got down to about 10% of normal! Also, the incidence of lung disease goes up in a major way after 20 years of smoking. That doesn't mean it can't happen sooner or later but I felt like I was playing Russian Roulette. So I quit -- and never looked back.

I agree that in some ways tobacco is more difficult but alcohol seems to me to be "sneakier". They both affect the same small section of the brain if I understand it correctly.

In any case, good luck with smoking cessation -- it's yet another "life process". I appreciate the reminder because I did successfully overcome that one!

Payton

Just checking in. I think I gt Deserto's bug. I woke up today very sick and throwing up...progressed to fever of 101 and unbearable body aches. We started that project so I had to help my husband move furniture and watch the baby all day while he primes the rooms. Only 5 hours until she goes to bed. All day I've been feeling horrible but so grateful that I am not hungover.

Hopefully I'll be over it tomorrow and come back to give support!

Deserto

So sorry you got it Payton. It's a strong one -- it even can spread through internet forums, apparently -- but it passes quickly!

Heading downtown to the juice shop for a nice carrot and beet concoction... my body is craving it at the moment.

Easyrider

I agree saskia, alcohol addiction is indeed sneaky! I quit for 6 months previously with the help of weekly meetings with a nurse giving me breath tests. I think the support/fear really helped me to stay quit.I have all sorts of nicotine substitutes but I'm beginning to think, they just keep me hooked until I pass a shop and buy more cigarettes. Maybe, cold turkey is the answer.

Easyrider

Forum transmitted infections Ahhhh!

Saskia

I hope you feel better very soon!

HitRockBottom70

Hey guys and gals,
Just wanted to check in. I'm doing well. At 3 weeks now. Feeling great today. Going to see Snow White, the previews look awesome. Tomorrow going to see the Lion King show with coworkers. I am so excited!.

I was afraid to post due to the cyber flu, but if we all can get through what we've been through, a little flu will not get me down!

To all those struggling, I wish you strength. We really do have the power within us to overcome.
To all those feeling down, know it will get better. It did for me. I am starting to enjoy the roller-coaster.
To those not feeling well, I wish you good health.
For those meeting their goals and milestones, Great job.
And all those who have inspired me to stay sober, Thank you.

Have a great weekend Mayers !!!

Iwant2

Thanks ......credit Pink Floyd..love yours as well

FrenchPink

The cyber flu.
Achoo! Achoo!
What's that, you say?
I've caught it, too!

Good evening, everyone. Spent a good part of the day doing errands and gabbing on the phone. Nice how I can remember the conversations now that I'm sober.

So sorry to hear that you don't feel well, Payton. Thinking we oughta quarantine Typhoid Mary Deserto for a bit until we nail down whatever Andromeda Strain he's passing on to our boaters.

Rock: Wonderful that you've reached the 3 week mark! Big thumbs up to you.

Flicked: So happy to hear that you're staying true to your sober self. Great job, buddy.

Easy: Congratulations on 16 days. Keep up the great work. Those cigs are tough to quit, for sure. I wish you the best on that front.

Saskia: Glad to read your continued posts with us here in May.

Deserto: Sounds like the worst of your cyber flu is over. Humor's coming back strong, desert dweller. Love the poem... and you're granted creative license for words that almost rhyme.

Enjoy the rest of your Saturday, classmates. It's always a pleasure to read everyone's thoughts, so I'll definitely be back a little later for more.

Soberjanedoe

Hello Sunday Morning! Life is good waking up hangover free. It's 1025am and I've already been for a walk and had breakfast at a lovely cafe.

One of my friends last night had 2 drinks then stopped. You know why? Because she only felt like 2. I wish I was like that person and talking to her was a real eye opener that I actually had a problem. Other people can stop at 2, other people don't get to 2 and just want more, more, more.

Deserto

If your tummy aches and your nose is wet
and every pore in your body's feeling inclement
don't blame Deserto, nor the net
I think you caught it from the elephant.