hypochondriac

This is what I liked about the AVRT stuff, just making that decision was the hard part. I like what INH said (via TU maybe) about arbitrarily setting your confidence at 100%. Once I had made that decision to never drink again and realised that anything that contradicted that decision was my AV, then any doubt became a moot point. I already decided I don't drink so it doesn't matter. I thought that sounded so utterly stupid before but it works now. Whenever you engage in that 'should I shouldn't I' drink debate you will end up drinking. I only know that cos that's what I did for many years. You can't have an intellectual argument with addiction.

That said I may be doing something daft by meeting up with a drinking buddy today. This isn't a test, this is just seeing my friend. I have seen them while sober before and it was odd I must admit but they didn't give me a hard time about not drinking after the initial shock. I went through the debate in my head and I just couldn't justify saying, I don't want to see you because you drink/take drugs. It sounds so hypercritical! Drinking isn't the main focus of our relationship but it did help. It will be fine but I just have that slightly precarious feeling. The stupid thing is that I have still not gone back to seeing some old friends that don't really drink just because we meet in pubs...

Sorry, I'm typing out loud again!

Hope everyone is having a good day.

Love to you R4R xxx

Dee74

I'm taking a overdue break for a few days guys - it's been a busy time for me recently - I'll catch up when I get back

D

hypochondriac

You deserve a break Dee, hope you have a good one xxx

sarah1414

Stopping by the March class to say how much I have enjoyed reading the last few pages of posts. You are all an amazing bunch. Such encouragers!

I'm at day 5 so I'm posting in the June class but I care for you all so I will keep checking in here and posting from time to time.

stillsleeping

Sarah! Glad you're still dropping by. You're so welcome here girl. Well done on 5 days - stay strong

xxx

Jeni26

Nice to hear from you Sarah xx. So pleased you're doing well.

I'm ok. A busy day at work so am exhausted, but am heading out to a meeting soon.
16 days sober now after my relapse. (I know that means I shouldn't really be in this class either, but I'm not moving!)

My love to everyone xxx

stillsleeping

No, don't move! It drives me nuts when people do. Having a relapse doesn't change the date that you started this journey, right? A relapse is a part of the journey. Isn't it?

xxx

hypochondriac

Thanks for popping in Sarah! xxx

Jeni26

Hi all,

How is everyone? Pretty quiet here at the moment.

I'm doing ok. Tired and overworked but surviving. Alcohol sometimes creeps into my thoughts on the drive home from work, but not in a serious way, just momentary and easily replaced by other things.
I suppose that's a good thing!
How are you KaPuka? Haven't heard from you in a while?xx

KaPuka

Hey Jeni yep all good
Thanks
I'm with you on the drive home from work cravings too, what can you do to get rid of them!? Ive been invited to one of my best friends bucks parties in august which is a bit of a worry, hope I'll be strong enough then to resist any urges
Otherwise all is good I guess

stillsleeping

Hey and mornin guys

I'm cool, just workin hard. In the car now, checkin in before the grind!

No booze here, good food an cuddles with H when I finally get home. Simple pleasures, right?

Xxxx

jobei

Hello everyone! Been on a mini vacation for the last few days and it's been my first one sober. It's been great. I spent the last two days in Atlantic City which is like the Las Vegas of the east coast of the U.S. It's all about drinking and gambling. My best friend and I went there to play poker. I didn't even crave alcohol once. I thought about it a few times but quickly dismissed it with the realization that if I did drink that I would feel absolutely horrible shortly after. Just not worth it. My best friend didn't drink either... he's not alcoholic and it's no big deal for him to go about things sober. We really did have fun. I was so much more aware of things... sights... sounds... people... and my thoughts were clear and that was quite novel for me. Tonight I'm in NYC and my brother and I just went to a bar and he had a beer and I had a pineapple juice. I simply did not want a drink whatsoever... it was uncanny. NYC has always been a place that I've done some of my heaviest drinking. I would be wasted at a bar right now instead of quietly enjoying our overpriced hotel room and writing this post. This is so much better. I will wake up early and walk around the city and spend some of my "drinking" money on some cool shirts. I feel truly blessed. I want to thank all of you that have supported me... especially in those first two months. My little brother said that he's proud of me... I almost burst into tears of gratitude. I want to be a good example to him. I am not perfect by any means but I'm a much better person without being drunk. While I was coming back from AC I was thinking a lot about recovery and such... the key for me has been "Don't drink!". I know that sounds simple but that's what they told me at AA... keep it simple and don't drink! I hope everyone is doing well today! God bless!

Really4Real

Hey guys and gals

Just wanted to say I'm off to stay with a couple friends who have a house on a lake to dry out. Well, that sounded weird... dry out and lake doesn't seem to go together...
Anyway, I'm excited because I won't be drinking. They are helping me get over this.

Thanks for all the encouragement. I will return on Sunday sober!

Jeni26

Lovely to hear from you R4R, Jobei and KaPuka xx
You are all doing great, warms my heart to hear it!
Day 20 for me and doing ok.
I've got some friends over for dinner on Saturday, old drinking buddies. They know we've quit so are just bringing soft drinks to support us. I know that is lovely of them, but part of me can't help feel sad that things have to change. We've had some great drunken fun evenings and been on holiday with them too. I know that's just my alcoholic brain trying to fool me, cos we had many evenings marred by one of us drinking too much (usually her husband) but I'm a bit scared that things will change. She is my closest friend and I don't want to drift away from her. She likes a drink, but her husband has a serious problem with it, and I know I couldn't deal with his drunken behaviour again. He is in denial, and quite defensive about even talking about drink.
Hopefully it will be a happy sober evening, but I know there is a growing divide between us. Such a shame.
Anyway, loads of love to Hypo and Still- you 2 are just doing so brilliantly!xxx

stillsleeping

Haha! Thanks Jen! And Job, that was a great post - me an H are taking our first sober holiday in a few weeks, and I'm going to print out what you wrote and take it with me!

Absolutely knackered, need to go to bed. Love you all, will post more at the weekend.

xxx

hypochondriac

Glad you have someone helping you dry out R4R x

Kapuka, if you are not absolutely sure you won't drink at the party I'd avoid it if you can. Mind you August is a while off Hope you're doing well x

Glad to hear you are doing so well Job! Enjoy the rest of your holiday X

And thanks Jeni To be honest I am a bit wobbly. I am determined to go to more meetings this week as I'm a bit worried about my complacency. I have had so much work on this week and everything seems like a conspiracy to interrupt me! I think in a way it's all been a round about way of my AV trying to convince me I deserve a drink. The serenity prayer has really helped me this week (never thought I'd ever say that!).

Glad you're doing well Still x

Take care everyone x

Dee74

back on deck
looking forward to your return too R4R - take it easy

D

stillsleeping

Hey Dee, welcome back!

I've heard from R4R, she's doin really well. Can't wait to have her back on the threads though...

Jeni26

Hi all, and welcome back Dee, we missed you x.
Well we had friends over for dinner last night, and ALL our evenings up until now have been boozy. They usually end up staying over although they live only a 15 minute drive away. I was a bit concerned about how it would go, I still wanted us to have fun and didn't want that to change.
They brought soft drinks with them and it was a lovely evening. We still managed to laugh and things didn't seem awkward to me, but then I feel quite solid in sobriety (for the moment). I sent her a text later asking if not drinking had spoiled it for her at all, and she said no. I wonder if her husband felt the same? It's weird watching friendships change and adapt as time goes on.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend xxx

stillsleeping

Hey all

Hypo, it's really good that you're aware ahead of time that you need some more support. I'm glad the meetings help - remember that we're here too

Jen, I'm glad it went well. I've found that after the first soft drink I'm okay, although I really haven't been out much. I've got a BBQ this Friday with a big group of old work friends which should be interesting. I'm really excited about it, and feel confident that I won't drink - I've decided I'm not going to and know that I'm stronger than alcohol. And besides, I've got a lot to look forward to.

I'm looking forward to getting to the end of the night and just feeling sleepy.

I'm looking forward to being excited about seeing my friends, not at the chance to get wasted outdoors.

I'm looking forward to eating good food because I'm hungry, not to soak up the booze.

I'm looking forward to remembering every conversation I have.

I'm looking forward to talking to the two other sober people that I know will be there and not feel ashamed that I'm talking too loud with a red face.

I'm looking forward to waking up on Saturday and going for a run on the pebbles.

Yeah.

My tortoise is nibbling my toe right now

Love you all xxx