Class of June 2011 part 12
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 351
Hi All,
It is lovely reading all your posts and to see that you are all two years sober.
I wish I could say the same but the drinking is simply getting worse and worse but tonight I am going back to a meeting. I haven't been for nearly 18 months but I am more and more aware that I really am powerless. I feel so stupid and I am so sad with it all.
But, what can I do other than just get to that meeting tonight!
Love to you all!
Chimp!
It is lovely reading all your posts and to see that you are all two years sober.
I wish I could say the same but the drinking is simply getting worse and worse but tonight I am going back to a meeting. I haven't been for nearly 18 months but I am more and more aware that I really am powerless. I feel so stupid and I am so sad with it all.
But, what can I do other than just get to that meeting tonight!
Love to you all!
Chimp!
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Chimp good to see you giving it another go. Life is better once we learn how to live.
Dee we are just playing pop/rock covers- some 60's - to today. Its good to dip my toe in. I need to get some gear. I bought a gibsob SG and a small valve amp that is not strong enough. I also need some effects, as well as more practice. Its great fun- one day i hope to play some of the songs i have written since I got sober.
Dee we are just playing pop/rock covers- some 60's - to today. Its good to dip my toe in. I need to get some gear. I bought a gibsob SG and a small valve amp that is not strong enough. I also need some effects, as well as more practice. Its great fun- one day i hope to play some of the songs i have written since I got sober.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Hey Chimp glad to hear you are back on the road to recovery. How was the meeting?
Congrats to the rest of you guys recently hitting the 2 year mark (and me
) I have still to find a hobby or something I am passionate about but it is difficult during another depressive episode - the worst I have ever had ive been off work nearly 4 months now - recently had a change in medication and hoping this will work for me and start to kick in soon. I am also trying to practice mindfullness which my psychiatrist recommended - maybe meditation can be my passion.
Love to you all,
Deb x
Congrats to the rest of you guys recently hitting the 2 year mark (and me
) I have still to find a hobby or something I am passionate about but it is difficult during another depressive episode - the worst I have ever had ive been off work nearly 4 months now - recently had a change in medication and hoping this will work for me and start to kick in soon. I am also trying to practice mindfullness which my psychiatrist recommended - maybe meditation can be my passion.Love to you all,
Deb x
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 351
Hi All,
I hope it is ok to post here but I feel more at home here. Is it ok?
On Tuesday, I finally asked for a Sponsor. I have spoken to him every day since. I am about to finally complete the Big Book. On Thursday, I went to the Doctors and saw a Nurse. She referred me to the Alcohol Treatment Unit locally. I will be there on Wednesday. I also have an appointment with my new doctor in two weeks.
Yes, things are going well. I am totally beat, totally beat but I am sober. On Friday, I completed a very difficult piece of business successfully.
But I am sad, it isn't like before , when a few days of sobriety and life was great. I really
am ill, really ill. But I have made a start and you people are truly my inspiration.
Love to you all,
Chimp!
I hope it is ok to post here but I feel more at home here. Is it ok?
On Tuesday, I finally asked for a Sponsor. I have spoken to him every day since. I am about to finally complete the Big Book. On Thursday, I went to the Doctors and saw a Nurse. She referred me to the Alcohol Treatment Unit locally. I will be there on Wednesday. I also have an appointment with my new doctor in two weeks.
Yes, things are going well. I am totally beat, totally beat but I am sober. On Friday, I completed a very difficult piece of business successfully.
But I am sad, it isn't like before , when a few days of sobriety and life was great. I really
am ill, really ill. But I have made a start and you people are truly my inspiration.
Love to you all,
Chimp!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 351
Hi All,
Again, I hope it is ok for me to post here but I am taking so much inspiration from all of you.
I had a good read of yesterday's rather miserable post yesterday but it was an honest post.
I am currently trying to identify the factors that trigger my drinking. Clearly, feeling low on Sundays is such a trigger. I didn't drink yesterday. Instead we watched a film. So,
Drinking Trigger: Feeling low on Sunday afternoons.
There, some progress. Now, for even more progress, what am I going to do about it? What little activity can I put in place? I'll have a think and pray on that one.
This week, I am ringing my Sponsor every day, I am about to complete the Big Book, tomorrow evening I have a meeting, on Wednesday I am attending the clinic for two hours, unfortunately (like last week I will miss Friday's meeting due to work). All in all, I am in a good place.
And in some ways, I am actually excited about everything. Not a flag waving, get the bunting out excited. I don't know. There is just something inside of me saying "this is it, time to learn about life, time to live."
Love to you all,
Chimp!
Again, I hope it is ok for me to post here but I am taking so much inspiration from all of you.
I had a good read of yesterday's rather miserable post yesterday but it was an honest post.
I am currently trying to identify the factors that trigger my drinking. Clearly, feeling low on Sundays is such a trigger. I didn't drink yesterday. Instead we watched a film. So,
Drinking Trigger: Feeling low on Sunday afternoons.
There, some progress. Now, for even more progress, what am I going to do about it? What little activity can I put in place? I'll have a think and pray on that one.
This week, I am ringing my Sponsor every day, I am about to complete the Big Book, tomorrow evening I have a meeting, on Wednesday I am attending the clinic for two hours, unfortunately (like last week I will miss Friday's meeting due to work). All in all, I am in a good place.
And in some ways, I am actually excited about everything. Not a flag waving, get the bunting out excited. I don't know. There is just something inside of me saying "this is it, time to learn about life, time to live."
Love to you all,
Chimp!
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Chimp
Good to see you progressing. I found that when i stopped poisoning myself things worked out. It happens in its own time, its the dealing with myself along the way that is the challenge.
Life is enjoyable in do many ways now i am not drinking. I am living again.
Good to see you progressing. I found that when i stopped poisoning myself things worked out. It happens in its own time, its the dealing with myself along the way that is the challenge.
Life is enjoyable in do many ways now i am not drinking. I am living again.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 351
Hi All,
A week today I took my last drink.
I woke up after a terrible drinking session that nearly saw me wreck my business and my family. When everyone was out, I went to the shop and bought two bottles of wine. I had one glass and then threw the rest away.
That, may be the single best desicsion I have ever made.
That night, I went to an AA meeting and I asked for help. I asked for a Sponsor.
It hasn't been easy this past week but the position I am in now is a start:
I have a sponsor
I have read the Big Book
I am going to meetings
I am seeking professional help
I have supportive parents
I am sober
That you guys here are sober means hopefully when I say this, you can see I am on the right track.
Unlike before there is no elation at sobriety. Instead, as my sponsor described it, there is 'balance.' Life is still difficult but now I am sober not drunk. That is the big difference.
Also, inside, I seem to instinctively understand what it is I have to do (the key word being 'do').
Well, today, I feel the best I have in a long time. Some of the old Chimp is back.
But that is also a trigger, thinking I have beat this alcohol lark, when it will never be beat, not till my last breath. Instead, each day, through some thought and a few simple steps, I can be sober.
It is God I owe this all to. Not me. I tried, I failed.
Trigger: Being on a high and thinking both life and I are great.
Love to you all,
Chimp!
A week today I took my last drink.
I woke up after a terrible drinking session that nearly saw me wreck my business and my family. When everyone was out, I went to the shop and bought two bottles of wine. I had one glass and then threw the rest away.
That, may be the single best desicsion I have ever made.
That night, I went to an AA meeting and I asked for help. I asked for a Sponsor.
It hasn't been easy this past week but the position I am in now is a start:
I have a sponsor
I have read the Big Book
I am going to meetings
I am seeking professional help
I have supportive parents
I am sober
That you guys here are sober means hopefully when I say this, you can see I am on the right track.
Unlike before there is no elation at sobriety. Instead, as my sponsor described it, there is 'balance.' Life is still difficult but now I am sober not drunk. That is the big difference.
Also, inside, I seem to instinctively understand what it is I have to do (the key word being 'do').
Well, today, I feel the best I have in a long time. Some of the old Chimp is back.
But that is also a trigger, thinking I have beat this alcohol lark, when it will never be beat, not till my last breath. Instead, each day, through some thought and a few simple steps, I can be sober.
It is God I owe this all to. Not me. I tried, I failed.
Trigger: Being on a high and thinking both life and I are great.
Love to you all,
Chimp!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 351
Hi All,
So, I am part of the programme.
Two years ago when I first came on here I used to look at Pumpkin and watch the work she was putting into her sobriety. She was going to AA meeetings, she was talking to her Sponsor.
I knew then that I wasn't going to be getting sober for a while. I wasn't doing those things. I tried to stay sober and of course, I failed.
How times have changed.
Things seemed to have clicked. I have set out on my suggestions. I am speaking to my sponsor and others. Already, I realise that I am an example to other alcoholics as though I am new to sobriety, new to actually doing the programme, I am only a few days ahead and look where I am at.
I see that and knowing it motivates me to work at the 'Just for Today' card.
No more the ecstasy of sobriety. Instead, there is just life and in the word of my sponsor 'balance'. In the words of another alocoholic 'you are starting to realise what serenity is.'
Life is nice. Just nice. No more, no less.
Why? Because, I am working on it.
I like being sober. I like being part of AA. I like the fact that each day for the rest of my life, like so many others before me, I can do some very simple things, which will ensure I remain sober.
Good.
Love to you all.
Chimp!
So, I am part of the programme.
Two years ago when I first came on here I used to look at Pumpkin and watch the work she was putting into her sobriety. She was going to AA meeetings, she was talking to her Sponsor.
I knew then that I wasn't going to be getting sober for a while. I wasn't doing those things. I tried to stay sober and of course, I failed.
How times have changed.
Things seemed to have clicked. I have set out on my suggestions. I am speaking to my sponsor and others. Already, I realise that I am an example to other alcoholics as though I am new to sobriety, new to actually doing the programme, I am only a few days ahead and look where I am at.
I see that and knowing it motivates me to work at the 'Just for Today' card.
No more the ecstasy of sobriety. Instead, there is just life and in the word of my sponsor 'balance'. In the words of another alocoholic 'you are starting to realise what serenity is.'
Life is nice. Just nice. No more, no less.
Why? Because, I am working on it.
I like being sober. I like being part of AA. I like the fact that each day for the rest of my life, like so many others before me, I can do some very simple things, which will ensure I remain sober.
Good.
Love to you all.
Chimp!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 351
Thanks instant,
Partly, what I have done before is trip over myself. Thinking that all of life's problem's were solved by a few days sobriety.
It slightly concerns me but I have been told not to even think about it and just let the fact be, that I am sober, I am doing what I am told, life is good. Why probe too deeply?
The word 'balance' is key. I don't feel different but I am.
I like it.
I feel like a grown up a bit.
Chimp!
Partly, what I have done before is trip over myself. Thinking that all of life's problem's were solved by a few days sobriety.
It slightly concerns me but I have been told not to even think about it and just let the fact be, that I am sober, I am doing what I am told, life is good. Why probe too deeply?
The word 'balance' is key. I don't feel different but I am.
I like it.
I feel like a grown up a bit.
Chimp!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Chimp,
So proud of you well done!
I know its a cliche but remember one day at a time. We did step 1 at the meeting last night and there was a guy who is one week sober there so lots of good advice from everyone for him. I wish I could remember more of it. Another simple but v important cliche - keep it simple.
xx
So proud of you well done!
I know its a cliche but remember one day at a time. We did step 1 at the meeting last night and there was a guy who is one week sober there so lots of good advice from everyone for him. I wish I could remember more of it. Another simple but v important cliche - keep it simple.
xx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 351
Thanks Instant and Pumpkin,
Yes, the funny thing is before I would have been trying to work at 'keep it simple' and 'one day at a time' but now it is just happening and has sunk in.
I guess because I am listening and doing the suggestions.
Simple really!
Love to you all,
Chimp!
Yes, the funny thing is before I would have been trying to work at 'keep it simple' and 'one day at a time' but now it is just happening and has sunk in.
I guess because I am listening and doing the suggestions.
Simple really!
Love to you all,
Chimp!
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