Miela

P.s. On a positive note, I went to get routine blood work done last week and my LFTs all came back normal (my doc doesn't know about my issues with alcohol so I was dreading getting the tests done just in case something showed up to give the game away).

Gerbosko

The past few days have been adding up on the stress level and I saw it in my posts and in real life. Today was a very frustrating day, everything wasn't going my way and I clearly just wasn't thinking. Job was getting frustrating and then I came home grumpy and got complained at by the neighbor because I pulled in "too fast", and I agree, total stupidity so I gotta mend that tomorrow or on my day off wednesday. I got frustrated with a SR user and posted a snotty reply which I also have to solve in private I think.

I believe it was a build up of stress because of the exam today, I worked late so I only had a limited time to get home and get ready to leave. All this build up of stress and I walk into the exam room and was very calm and confident is most of my answers, a few I'm not sure of but I'll find out - I took both reading and science test.

Was on my way home and cops had road blocked (I thought it was going to be a alcohol check point stop and wasn't worried obviously) -it was an accident ahead- and they told me to turn and I just kept inching forward and got the "halt!" from the cop, felt so stupid. lol... My brain is in a fog, what the hell.

I desperately need wednesday & thursday off, I cannot wait. I'll be back to normal soon folks.

Gerbosko

I find out tomorrow what the test scores were and if I passed or not. I think having these two done and over with is going kill the stress and return me to the normal egg-nog guzzling gerbosko.

Miela

Good luck Gerbosko Will be thinking about you.

M

Dee74

I'll sure you'll do well Gerb

D

Gerbosko

It was different this time around with the stress, I never even thought about alcohol for the whole time I was / am stressed (I just realized that this morning). Dealing with true stress while sober is better, even if I hate the effects and it drives me insane, at least I'm not stumbling out of a bar and driving home.

Now I just gotta work on what I'm going to do when I'm stressed and I cannot leave. A walk would of really really helped me a few times but it was either too late or I had something to do.

I'll try keeping my chin up today, still feel a bit grouchy but today is my "Friday" so that'll put a smile on my face and I just had my pumpkin egg nog.

Dee74

It takes time for all of us to learn all those sober life skills Gerb - but you'll do it

D

honeypie

Hang in there Gerbosko! Posting here to the Octobers will help relieve stress too!

Miela congrats on making it thru your Christmas party! I did not even attend ours (was a dinner) and I am so glad I didn't. The next day everyone shared war stories. Apparently everyone got smashed. Several were hungover...all laughed about it. It makes me wonder, are there not one or two co-workers who secretly worry about their drinking? Or why does everyone go get smashed and then laugh about it the next day?

Anyway you are so smart to drink all that diet coke and then leave the party early. Way to go!!!

Hope everyone is feeling good today. I am seriously missing goodcheer and hoping all is well with her and her family.

tanja

Miela, congratulations on not drinking during the Christmas party. You definitely flexed an emotional muscle. I too am somewhat slight (111 lbs) drink fast and can outdrink 200lb men. It makes for the worst hangovers. How wonderful to wake up sober and have a full memory of the night before and pride in yourself Gerbosko - there is no doubt in my mind that you did well on your exams! It is remarkable that you haven't even thought of alcohol in spite of all the stress. My hat is off to you! I have experienced frustration and depression in the past few weeks and not drank over it. I have discovered that these feelings don't last and that sitting with discomfort won't kill me. However, grief still scares me. I think for me that is the hardest emotion to deal with. I would like to thank all sobertobers for giving me the opportunity to share my feelings openly. Also, Gerbosko's post about making a comment to a SR member and clearing the air provides a good affirmation for today. "Serenity is something we each experience in a personal way. There is one fact, however, on which we all agree: Our individual serenity, or lack of it, relates directly to the way we practice the spiritual principles we have to value. For example, we are far more likely to have continuing peace of mind when we are rigorously honest in all we say or do, than when we try to slip by with half-truths or exaggeration. In the same way, serenity is always closer at hand when we remain self-aware-by staying in touch with our feelings rather than letting them eat away at us. We're also more likely to be at pace when we talk openly about our concerns and problems, instead of keeping them bottled up. To gain and maintain serenity, we need to take care of unfinished business each day. For example, if we are wrong, we promptly admit it; if we've had a misunderstanding, we clear the air. And finally, there can be no disagreement about the vital connection between serenity and acceptance. The better able we are to accept ourselves and others, the greater our peace of mind. Thought for Today: Am I doing what it takes to gain and maintain serenity?

tanja

Honeypie, I miss Goodcheer too! I think she is probably really busy at this time of year. I sent her a private message. I seriously miss Sadsoul too.

bozboz

I feel the same. Hope they come back soon.

Gerbosko, you will have passed your test with flying colors. I can feel it!

honeypie

Tanja, Bozboz, Miela, Littlesparrow and all the other Sobertober Chicks, (sorry fellas, you're awesome too but this post is a shout out to the sober tober chicks) - and especially goodcheer and Sadsoul who are really busy - -

THANKS LADIES!! It means the world to me to come here for your words and support. I am surrounded by men all day at work and then I am a mom to a male teenager at home and sometimes I feel like I want to drink because wine and female friends go hand in hand for me. So when I miss my gal pals I miss my wine too

I need to get back into some ladies AA groups for sure.

Tanja thanks especially for your wonderful meditations and affirmations! They are so welcome.

Lots of big hugs to all (male and female) and lots of sober wishes!!

Miela

Thanks Honeypie and Tanja. What a fantastic post Tanja I can relate to it so much and they are things that I really need to work on

Honeypie I have also been hearing about some of the drunken adventures some of my colleagues got up to after I left and I too was left wondering where having fun & letting your hair down ends and drinking problem begins. I watched as one particular woman drank glass after glass of wine, drinking each one as fast as she could (the way I used to drink!). I felt so sad for her because she is such a lovely, kind, sweet, amazing, talented woman but I believe anybody who needs to drink that fast and that much in a social setting cannot be happy within themselves. Anyway, many headed on to a late bar afterwards, got completely wasted and, according to those I've spoken to, "had a fantastic night, SO much fun!" (remembering this was a party where all guests were healthcare professionals ).

Hope you're all having a good day.

M

Gerbosko

PASSED BOTH TESTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

630 on reading

580 on science

I don't remember what "passing" is, but it's in the low 400's (450?)

I missed the guys call, but he left a message.

Ah here is the info.

honeypie

Sorry! But I had to! Woo hoo!!! Congrats!!!

Dee74

I knew you could do it Gerb

D

Miela

Congratulations Gerbosko!!!
I'm so delighted for you! You must be thrilled and very proud of yourself

M

tanja

Honeypie - All the sobertober chicks are behind you 100%. Congratulate yourself. You have had a lot change to deal with. No need for wine - you have us Miela - I was surprised reading your post and that they were health care professionals. I guess it affects every profession, so I shouldn't be surprised. Gerboskso - Congratulations. I had no doubts you would pass with flying colors!

Gerbosko

Thank you all for your thoughts and congratulations, I really appreciate it - I'm starting to get my normal self back without all that exam stress.

Miela

To be honest Tanja, I think it's a cultural issue. I come from a country where alcohol plays a pivotal role in any occasion. For example, the morning of a wedding/christening etc. it is tradition for the men of the house to have a shot of brandy or whiskey before breakfast. In fact, if you translate the word for whiskey in my language into English, it means 'The Water of Life'!!
I found it interesting to read somewhere here that 50% of Americans do not drink at all (hopefully I have that statistic correct!). In my whole life, I have only known 3 people who don't drink at all.

This culture makes sobriety quite a challenge!