Dee74

continues from here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...pt-3-a-21.html



D

Dee74

congratulations on the new job Gerbosko

This was a really cool link I found last year on coping with Thanksgiving - I think it applies with Christmas too - it's a good one if you haven't read it yet

Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide

D

Gerbosko

Thanks everyone!

I just want to quickly say that I still don't have a job but the staffing agency is looking for one for me, I suspect it won't be too long of a wait. Sorry if my last post made it look like I had a new job! I really wish I did since I'm huge on working and it's hard for me to sit home.. Since moving I think I've been outdoors more in my life than the 20 years in Wisconsin LOL.

least

Wow!! Last month's class is already on part three!!

Dee74

I meant I'm confident you'll get one Gerbosko - hope you don't believe in jinxes lol

D

Miela

Hey all,

Heading into day 40 for me. My GP prescribed Xanax and Stilnoct (short term) as anxiety reached a record high last week and was getting maximum 2-3 hours sleep per night (I've posted about it already in the Alcoholism forum so won't bore you with the details).

The positives so far:

• Whites of my eyes are whiter (unless I've had a particularly bad run of insomnia )
• Liver and pancreatic pain are gone!
• Sugar cravings are gone, but am leaning a little towards my old pal, anorexia, so am currently hovering around my lowest acceptable weight set by my doc. Have started including nutrient-dense snacks over the last 2 days though - hard with a stomach ulcer (and cannot afford the meds right now as ABF is spending a massive amount of our money on weed and booze )
• Dry patches on my skin are clearing up
• An extra 10 minutes in bed in the morning as I don't have to waste that time covering up or repairing the damage on my face/body from the night before!

Quitting the booze has shown me that, after everything I've been through, I really am just a 'shell' of who I'm supposed to be. It's going to be interesting to find out who on earth I actually am!?! Seriously, I haven't a clue!

Anyone else relate? I'd imagine so... ?

Wishing everyone well and hope you're all hanging in there.

M

Dee74

congratulations miela

D

tanja

Good Evening All, I would like to share a daily meditation on self-love. I think this is so pertinent because of the self-loathing that comes along with drinking heavily. "For many years, whenever anyone said "I love you" to me, I would become flustered. I didn't know whether to respond by saying "thank you," by repeating "I love you, too," or by asking "Why?" It was hard for me to believe that anybody could truly feel that way about me. Love was never expressed and seemed to be rarely felt during my growing-up years. As the result, I didn't have the chance to learn how to give it, how to receive it, or even what love really was. I certainly never learned how to nuture it or build on it. I know today that the lack of love in my home left me with the feeling that I was unlovable and without much value. I entered adulthood with the conviction that people were basically cold and ungiving. In early recovery, paradoxically, I relied on other people to convince me that I was deserving of love and capable of loving. Their unwavering acceptance and encouragement spoke volumes about my lovability and value. As time went on, I found ways to "reparent myself, so to speak - to give myself the love and affection that my parents had been unable to give. Thought for Today: I am fully deserving of love." Hope everyone is having a good evening!

tanja

Awesome Miela I can absolutely relate to not knowing who you are! I think that is true for a lot of people, not just those who have a drinking problem. Certainly, we used alcohol as a coping mechanism to avoid a lot of feelings. The good news is that we get to embark on a voyage of self-discovery and have grattitude for each sober day. What have you done differently to make it to 40 days?

Betterlife1

Congrats Miela, we have the same sober date!! It's great you are focusing on the positives of sobriety. I know it's tough, but it will keep getting easier and easier. Best of luck on your new journey of self discovery!

Dee74

congratulations to you too then betterlife1

D

Enemdio

Miela, know what you mean about not knowing who you are - it's starting to get exciting finding out. All those things that are impossible to do when you drink, like losing weight, big jobs around the house, finding money for things, etc., don't apply any more.

Now, all the things I thought I couldn't do, I can. Which is exhilarating and scary - no excuses.

sadsoul2011

Good Morning All! Wow - Thursday already...this week has flown by.... I'm behind on posts and trying to read quick this morning to catch up.....I'm sure I'll miss stuff. Already on another new thread; we rock!

This has been a good week. It is amazing to me how much work (home and office) I have to get done now that I'm sober. No wonder I was always stressed and full of anxiety when I was drinking. Don't know how I slid by somehow all this time without my world collapsing around me. It is nice to be busy though, and feel productive and useful.

Every morning when I wake up and just start thinking about the day is a marvel. The amount of time I used to waste trying to recreate the night before and deal with all the ashamed and loser feelings was significant in my life. Not to mention that I would go from the morning crap to immediately planning my drinking schedule for the rest of the day. <<scratching head>>

Whew - sober is so much better It is nice to be able to deal with all the problems and deadlines at work; the bad stuff doesn't seem as bad....

Nice to see that we're all trucking along. Hello to the new posters - Welcome!

Deserto - Hope you're having a great travels.... Sounds like fun!

Tanja - You are amazing! You have so much uplifting information and thanks for posting about relapse signs. Most helpful this time of year... Are you having a relaxing week? Sure hope you - you EARNED it big time!

General - Did you have a nice birthday? I like getting on early in the morning and seeing new messages from you.

Miela - Congrats - you're doing great! Thanks for the update! Sure hope you're starting to sleep better. You're so right about "finding ourselves" and who we really are. I think that will be a big part of my 2012 ... I'm able to stay busy now just catching up on work and getting ready for the holidays, but January and February are shaping up to be very, very interesting....there will be lots to think about... I'm hoping I'll be better equipped to think and deal with "finding myself, my purpose" after I've been sober a few months. Hopefully some of the answers will naturally evolve as I actually start living life for the first time in a long, long time.

Goodcheer - Hope you're having a good, restful week after your company?!?

Gerbosko - You sound much better now than a couple of days ago. Your situation is definitely looking up and I have a feeling that you'll have a job in short order. Your great attitude shines through in your posts; I'm sure that you're a much appreciated addition to the offices where you've worked. Positive references are very powerful. You'll find a new opportunity quickly! Also glad your injury is feeling better.

Geralt - Glad to hear how well you're doing! The slower taper seems to be working much, much better! Yeah!

LittleSparrow, ZenJen, Debinaweb, Iwantmeback, Seeingthroughblue, Boozefree and everyone else I'm missing at the moment (I need more coffee....) HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Wow - Thanksgiving already next week! We're staying home this year and have some family coming to visit (they're not big drinkers thank goodness; a little here and there). Booze will still be flowing but I'm getting used to it because my husband still drinks every night. Shouldn't be too stressful. I've made Thx dinner so many times and really enjoy cooking it actually. It will be weird to be sober a the end of the night though That will be new and wonderful. Just imagine - sitting down at the end of the day and being tired but not passing out/blacking out....ahhhh

I'm so loving life right now (hope that doesn't sound too corny)!! So many possibilities. Still have challenges every day that I'm dealing with, but what a change from the despair I felt just a few short weeks ago.

Hope everyone has a wonderful, happy, sober Thursday!



Remember: "Being a drunk is hard. Being sober is hard. Choose your hard!"

Enemdio

Hi Sadsoul - yes, thanks - had a great Birthday. Due in no small part to all the messages here.

We understand each other here and that's important.

Last night, my wife was on the phone to some very good old friends of ours who are also quite boozy. She was arranging for them to visit over Christmas and she said "Well, he's (me) not drinking at the moment". I didn't take issue with her, but I just wish she'd said "Well, he doesn't drink alcohol any more".

goodcheer

Good morning, Octobers. Feeling a bit off track so far this week. Missing my wine so. I know it will only cause more problems for me, but the loss of the pleasure of wine still gives me a feeling of grief, like a loved one has died. I think the feeling may be stronger this week because i am faced with problems and feelings that i used to numb with wine. Serious issues in my marriage were easier to manage through the veil of wine. Now i have to face them dead on with nothing to soften the hard edges.

tanja...thank you for your meditation on self-love. one man in an AA meeting i attend says something beautiful to members in distress...we will love you until you love yourself again.

sadsoul...i feel exactly the same. i look around me and there's so much chaos and i wonder how i managed while i drank, with everything at home and work collapsing around me. now i am trying to chip away at my responsibilities, one task at a time. it is so humbling to face each thing and try to resolve it.

miela...i do feel physical benefits too. everyone around me says i look better. i think it is because i am getting more rest and am starting to rehydrate after years of drinking nothing but wine, coffee and a swish of water when i brushed my teeth. i don't know how i survived. getting better quality sleep has changed my life. now i crave sleep and can't seem to get enough of it. before i would stay up late, in a haze of wine, feeling awful in the evening, avoiding bed because i felt so awful in the night and when i woke up in the morning. so my life has truly changed for the better in sobriety.

have a wonderful day. peace and strength to all.

Dee74

Greet
the more things you face sober, the more new skills you'll learn and the more you'll grow.

Try to remember what a TERRIBLE friend wine really was. You don't need it

D

honeypie

Miela, everything about your post was so great and then the above line just floored me. I haven't been following your posts a lot so please forgive me if you've already discussed this but...What in the world is up with that??

Take it from me, I have been married and divorced and my ex was/is an addict (weed, booze, anything you want to name, if it tweaks his chemical reward center he will do it until it's gone) and was/is totally still in denial.

I can't stand the idea that you need medical help and - is it your money that is going to your partner's addictions? Or is it his? Or shared?!

How are you getting through this? It seems completely unacceptable to me. But what do I know - literally nothing - except the above line you mentioned in your post.

HUGS!

Costadelmar

Hello everyone. What is class of October? I just found this thread I'm assuming it's for people who finally realized the need to stop drinking and it happened to be in the month of October. So if that's the case I guess I've found my group so hello again So far I have found these message boards to be extremely helpful, I started posting daily updates the day I stopped drinking on this site. Much like the daily journal I keep it's interesting to go back and re-read where I was 25 days ago (that's how long I've been sober). I'm looking forward to the holidays I have not had too many issues being around alcohol because I keep the many reasons why I do not drink anymore very close to me at all times. I stay focused and I don't let the addicted part of my brain have any say because the result is (was) always the same. I'm aware I had some great experiences drinking did or tried things I may not have because inhibitions were gone. But that was a long time ago... I'm very aware that the last few years of heavy drinking the negative times far outweighed the good times. So being aware, very determined and very committed never to let myself go down that path again because I know it only ever gets worse. Happy Sober Thursday Everyone!

sadsoul2011

Costadelmar - to the group! This is a wonderful place; full of great, supportive people! It is (literally) a lifesaver I look forward to getting to know you!

sadsoul2011

Quiet around here today..... Hope everyone is having a good one!