Class Of October 2011 pt 4
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Hey 
things are moving around here this morning!!
LittleSparrow - Let us know how the meeting goes. A new little puppy - what fun! And, just think, your house will be all clean tonight so that when you relax you can *really* relax. Enjoy!
Tanja - Good Reminder! Hope you're having a good day - 30 tomorrow - AWESOME!!!!
Iwantmeback - :ghug3 Sure hope you feel better today! Just remember that in a day or so you'll feel really great again. This was just a little slip; it doesn't take away all your sober time and everything that you learned and experienced. Glad to hear that you're right back at it I agree with Goodcheer - please, when you feel up to it, let us know what you think may have led to the slip.....it may give the group something to learn from and keep an eye out for.... Remember: water, water and more water!!!
things are moving around here this morning!!LittleSparrow - Let us know how the meeting goes. A new little puppy - what fun! And, just think, your house will be all clean tonight so that when you relax you can *really* relax. Enjoy!
Tanja - Good Reminder! Hope you're having a good day - 30 tomorrow - AWESOME!!!!
Iwantmeback - :ghug3 Sure hope you feel better today! Just remember that in a day or so you'll feel really great again. This was just a little slip; it doesn't take away all your sober time and everything that you learned and experienced. Glad to hear that you're right back at it
I agree with Goodcheer - please, when you feel up to it, let us know what you think may have led to the slip.....it may give the group something to learn from and keep an eye out for.... Remember: water, water and more water!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 191
Hey, October people.
Woke up this morning and had a Day 50 reminder on my phone. Lazing around this morning, drinking coffee and whatnot. My sleep schedule will again be shifted soon, so, eh, welcome being tired on the time, I guess.
I had a ridiculously stressful week at work, and that really triggered some cravings. I think I do pretty OK aside from work stress, and actually work has always been something that's been coupled with more drinking on my part. I've got a stressful job; that's just part of the gig. There's honestly no way to change it right now, and it's one of the delayed gratification gigs where the lifestyle and stress (and money) will get better in the future. So I just have to deal for now. Workouts help some. Talking to friends helps, too. Drinking was a tool that I just can't use anymore.
Anyway, I have the weekend off, which is good. Hope everyone else is having a good day.
Woke up this morning and had a Day 50 reminder on my phone. Lazing around this morning, drinking coffee and whatnot. My sleep schedule will again be shifted soon, so, eh, welcome being tired on the time, I guess.
I had a ridiculously stressful week at work, and that really triggered some cravings. I think I do pretty OK aside from work stress, and actually work has always been something that's been coupled with more drinking on my part. I've got a stressful job; that's just part of the gig. There's honestly no way to change it right now, and it's one of the delayed gratification gigs where the lifestyle and stress (and money) will get better in the future. So I just have to deal for now. Workouts help some. Talking to friends helps, too. Drinking was a tool that I just can't use anymore.
Anyway, I have the weekend off, which is good. Hope everyone else is having a good day.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Originally Posted by nvrbeentospain 
=Woke up this morning and had a Day 50 reminder on my phone.
I wish you a peaceful, relaxing weekend so that you can recharge for next week! Good job withstanding the cravings last week. Doesn't it feel good after you kick the old AV to the curb
?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Twin Cities MN
Posts: 83
Just peeking in to wish everyone well! I might catch up on posts, or I might go into the office and work some OT.
We're getting our first snowfall today. Big, thick snowflakes; I think we already have an inch and are on our way to two.
Stay strong Sober-tobers!
Oh, and if anyone needs a distraction, here's the Caturday thread =^.^=
FARK.com: (6743217) British PM defends civil servant described as lazy, eats too much, sleeps on the job, and would rather spend time with ladies than carry out official duties. Caturday: Model gov't employee is a tabby named Larry
We're getting our first snowfall today. Big, thick snowflakes; I think we already have an inch and are on our way to two.
Stay strong Sober-tobers!
Oh, and if anyone needs a distraction, here's the Caturday thread =^.^=
FARK.com: (6743217) British PM defends civil servant described as lazy, eats too much, sleeps on the job, and would rather spend time with ladies than carry out official duties. Caturday: Model gov't employee is a tabby named Larry
Argonaut
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 479
Wow nvrbeentospain, congrats on Day 50 and good luck with your work. I wouldn't call drinking a "tool" to relax from work stress though 
. Of course it helped fighting work stress for a few hours but working with a hangover is much worse.
Nice pictures Gerbosko, I love the mountains!
Don't give up Iwantmeback, let us know how you are doing if you are ready for it.
Sadsoul, that diet was an example, don't have the discipline yet to eat like that daily. I might have quit sugar but chicken burgers or chicken wings are still difficult to resist
It was an active day 36 for me, but my optimism from the last couple of days is gone. Recovery is one big emotional roller coaster. This morning I took the bicycle to my soccer club, a nice 7 miles ride through the forests. We lost the game however 5-1, so my debut as a soccer coach didn't start well - I blame the players though A few hours later I was back in the canteen/bar of our club and the atmosphere was good, with most of the players, coaches and fans enjoying beer. Within seconds my mind went into alcoholic mode and I was imagining myself having a beer, joining various conversations, all loosened up. If I hadn't taken my Antabuse a few days ago, I am pretty certain I would have relapsed.
So I left and went back home. The sun had just set and the last rays of light battled the fast rising fog as I cycled through the forests, a truly beautiful sight. Nature's tranquility made me really feel guilty and I started thinking. Is the memory of an alcoholic so twisted and selective? Why did I get tricked into a vision of friends enjoying beer, laughing about jokes, talking about soccer and other stuff? What happened to the memory of me drinking beer after beer, making an idiot of myself, going back home only to drink more and more for day, throwing up, drinking in the morning and finally another withdrawal, as always worse than the previous one?
Back home now, took my Antabuse, so I am "safe" for another week. But what's next? Will I be on Antabuse my whole life? When will the time come that I can resist alcohol with my mind, instead of resisting it because of the fear of getting sick?
Recovery isn't just about not drinking, it's about accepting yourself as a sober person. And that last part might be a lot harder than I imagined.
The road ahead is long...
. Of course it helped fighting work stress for a few hours but working with a hangover is much worse.Nice pictures Gerbosko, I love the mountains!
Don't give up Iwantmeback, let us know how you are doing if you are ready for it.
Sadsoul, that diet was an example, don't have the discipline yet to eat like that daily. I might have quit sugar but chicken burgers or chicken wings are still difficult to resist
It was an active day 36 for me, but my optimism from the last couple of days is gone. Recovery is one big emotional roller coaster. This morning I took the bicycle to my soccer club, a nice 7 miles ride through the forests. We lost the game however 5-1, so my debut as a soccer coach didn't start well - I blame the players though
A few hours later I was back in the canteen/bar of our club and the atmosphere was good, with most of the players, coaches and fans enjoying beer. Within seconds my mind went into alcoholic mode and I was imagining myself having a beer, joining various conversations, all loosened up. If I hadn't taken my Antabuse a few days ago, I am pretty certain I would have relapsed.So I left and went back home. The sun had just set and the last rays of light battled the fast rising fog as I cycled through the forests, a truly beautiful sight. Nature's tranquility made me really feel guilty and I started thinking. Is the memory of an alcoholic so twisted and selective? Why did I get tricked into a vision of friends enjoying beer, laughing about jokes, talking about soccer and other stuff? What happened to the memory of me drinking beer after beer, making an idiot of myself, going back home only to drink more and more for day, throwing up, drinking in the morning and finally another withdrawal, as always worse than the previous one?
Back home now, took my Antabuse, so I am "safe" for another week. But what's next? Will I be on Antabuse my whole life? When will the time come that I can resist alcohol with my mind, instead of resisting it because of the fear of getting sick?
Recovery isn't just about not drinking, it's about accepting yourself as a sober person. And that last part might be a lot harder than I imagined.
The road ahead is long...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Congratulations - NeverbeentoSpain - 50 days! Almost 2 months Geralt - Congratulations on Day 36! I can relate to your post. Up and down. They say giving up drinking is the easy part! Well, it is certainly is not easy. I was trying to find an affirmation that dealt with these feelings. This ones comes pretty close. "As a recovering alcoholic, the most important choice I make each day is not to take the first drink. The fact that I even have such a choice is a miracle. Now that I have been restored to sobriety and sanity, I am fully capable of making the choice. Moreover, I know exactly how to make it, and I am sharply aware of what will happen if I don't make it. I approach my sobriety one day at a time, choosing each morning to stay clean and sober. I begin the day by putting my priorities in order, reminding myself that I am powerless over alcohol, and that for me to drink is to die. I ask God to help me stay sober. I know well from past experiences what will happen if I take my sobriety for granted and make the wrong choice. By picking up the first drink or, I might as well plead guilty-no matter what the charge. I give up all my dignity, all my self-respect, all my rights as a person. I give up all my choices. Thought for today: I choose sobriety and soundness of mind." Be proud that you didn't drink Be proud that you are using antabuse (or any tools for that matter) to stay sober. I believe there will come a time when you will be able to resist alcohol with your mind, but it just takes time. We are just beginning our journey with sobriety. Revel in a day well spent
Geralt - Congratulations on Day 36! I can relate to your post. Up and down. They say giving up drinking is the easy part! Well, it is certainly is not easy. I was trying to find an affirmation that dealt with these feelings. This ones comes pretty close. "As a recovering alcoholic, the most important choice I make each day is not to take the first drink. The fact that I even have such a choice is a miracle. Now that I have been restored to sobriety and sanity, I am fully capable of making the choice. Moreover, I know exactly how to make it, and I am sharply aware of what will happen if I don't make it. I approach my sobriety one day at a time, choosing each morning to stay clean and sober. I begin the day by putting my priorities in order, reminding myself that I am powerless over alcohol, and that for me to drink is to die. I ask God to help me stay sober. I know well from past experiences what will happen if I take my sobriety for granted and make the wrong choice. By picking up the first drink or, I might as well plead guilty-no matter what the charge. I give up all my dignity, all my self-respect, all my rights as a person. I give up all my choices. Thought for today: I choose sobriety and soundness of mind." Be proud that you didn't drink Be proud that you are using antabuse (or any tools for that matter) to stay sober. I believe there will come a time when you will be able to resist alcohol with your mind, but it just takes time. We are just beginning our journey with sobriety. Revel in a day well spent
Argonaut
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 479
Wow tanja, I am speechless. There is so much I have to work on.
I think I am not fully committed to recovery yet. It's difficult to explain (especially with my poor English) but it seems like I have taken sobriety for granted, instead of thinking of it as a miracle and gift. I haven't developed any mental tricks or a stable mindset to deal with difficult situations, but simply hanging on because of the Antabuse. Thinking about going back to AA again, visited only one meeting this summer. Perhaps a night rest will help me think clearly about this. Good night/evening all!
Originally Posted by tanja
"As a recovering alcoholic, the most important choice I make each day is not to take the first drink. The fact that I even have such a choice is a miracle. Now that I have been restored to sobriety and sanity, I am fully capable of making the choice. Moreover, I know exactly how to make it, and I am sharply aware of what will happen if I don't make it. I approach my sobriety one day at a time, choosing each morning to stay clean and sober.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 182
Tanja, you listed these:
RELAPSE ROAD: 1) Feeling overwhelmed. 2) Social Situations. 3) Not feeling well 4) Seeing others drink 5) Exhaustion 6) Complacency 7) Dishonesty
8) Expecting too much from others. 9) Impatience. 10) Stress. 11) Grief. 12) Letting up on discipline. 13) Argumentativenss. 14) Depression. 15) Anger. 16) Wanting too much. 17) Self-pity. 18) Forgetting grattitude. 19) "It cant happen to me". 20) Frustration. 21) Any uncomfortable feeling. 22) Wanting to relax. 23) Wanting to celebrate.
I have to say YES to all of the above.
In a nutshell, and this will sound like pity party, but it's true, I am going through an *incredibly* stressful time, more stress than I remember since I was married to the addict (and that was chaos.)
As of one week ago, my boss is turning the screws hard, hard on me to move to LA by this January for the company, or else stay behind and lose my job as it transitions out, over the next 6-10 months. My son and I live alone, I don't have a spouse, I have no idea how I am supposed to leave my house (need to sell it) also find a place to live, find a neighborhood, find a school, and pack up and MOVE over the HOLIDAYS to Los Angeles?!? I am currently near Chicago - it is kind of a big deal move, ya know? Like, the kind people plan. In advance.
So beyond the stress of all that, I am also coping with my emotionally distraught son, because I discovered he has been smoking K4 (google teens smoking k4) and I made him quit his band and his stupid idiot friends who smoke that crap. I didn't even know what the heck K4 was. I had to read all about it. So now my son is in this depression, he is losing weight, down in the dumps, says he is a loser and has no friends....etc etc he has a therapist but it does not seem to work very much. I have so much guilt all the time as a single working mom. Just all the time.
So that is what I have had on my plate: agony over "what do I do?" and agony over "my son is taking drugs" and agony over "I am all alone, I can't handle this!" and my dog was injured and limping for a week and I had to take her to the vet, totally expensive, xrays and etc...augh. Just everything, everything everything has been really HARD.
I have not been sober. I have not gotten drunk either. I have had some glasses of wine here and there. I am not proud of it but I was on relapse road.
Thanks for asking about me, I still come here and read about how great you guys are all doing, and sometimes I feel really down, comparatively. So I isolate. Sorry.
RELAPSE ROAD: 1) Feeling overwhelmed. 2) Social Situations. 3) Not feeling well 4) Seeing others drink 5) Exhaustion 6) Complacency 7) Dishonesty
8) Expecting too much from others. 9) Impatience. 10) Stress. 11) Grief. 12) Letting up on discipline. 13) Argumentativenss. 14) Depression. 15) Anger. 16) Wanting too much. 17) Self-pity. 18) Forgetting grattitude. 19) "It cant happen to me". 20) Frustration. 21) Any uncomfortable feeling. 22) Wanting to relax. 23) Wanting to celebrate.
I have to say YES to all of the above.
In a nutshell, and this will sound like pity party, but it's true, I am going through an *incredibly* stressful time, more stress than I remember since I was married to the addict (and that was chaos.)
As of one week ago, my boss is turning the screws hard, hard on me to move to LA by this January for the company, or else stay behind and lose my job as it transitions out, over the next 6-10 months. My son and I live alone, I don't have a spouse, I have no idea how I am supposed to leave my house (need to sell it) also find a place to live, find a neighborhood, find a school, and pack up and MOVE over the HOLIDAYS to Los Angeles?!? I am currently near Chicago - it is kind of a big deal move, ya know? Like, the kind people plan. In advance.
So beyond the stress of all that, I am also coping with my emotionally distraught son, because I discovered he has been smoking K4 (google teens smoking k4) and I made him quit his band and his stupid idiot friends who smoke that crap. I didn't even know what the heck K4 was. I had to read all about it. So now my son is in this depression, he is losing weight, down in the dumps, says he is a loser and has no friends....etc etc he has a therapist but it does not seem to work very much. I have so much guilt all the time as a single working mom. Just all the time.
So that is what I have had on my plate: agony over "what do I do?" and agony over "my son is taking drugs" and agony over "I am all alone, I can't handle this!" and my dog was injured and limping for a week and I had to take her to the vet, totally expensive, xrays and etc...augh. Just everything, everything everything has been really HARD.
I have not been sober. I have not gotten drunk either. I have had some glasses of wine here and there. I am not proud of it but I was on relapse road.
Thanks for asking about me, I still come here and read about how great you guys are all doing, and sometimes I feel really down, comparatively. So I isolate. Sorry.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
welcome back Iwantmeback
Honeypie - I'm really sorry for all that stress - I know it must be dreadful.
The thing is you need solutions - and drinking not a solution - it just mooshes everything off to one side - if you're lucky you might get a few hours respite - but I suspect you rarely get that anymore?
later, everything crashes down on you again - and you have the inevitable shame and guilt, and sickness, to deal with.
Keep reaching out for support for you and your son.
I hope you can decide what to do about the job - thats a tough call to make.
you have a lot of people here @ SR in your corner tho
D
Honeypie - I'm really sorry for all that stress - I know it must be dreadful.
The thing is you need solutions - and drinking not a solution - it just mooshes everything off to one side - if you're lucky you might get a few hours respite - but I suspect you rarely get that anymore?
later, everything crashes down on you again - and you have the inevitable shame and guilt, and sickness, to deal with.
Keep reaching out for support for you and your son.
I hope you can decide what to do about the job - thats a tough call to make.
you have a lot of people here @ SR in your corner tho
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Honeypie, I'm just glad you posted. Try and not be so hard on yourself. It sounds like a lot of stress to deal with. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. Dee gave very good advice. I wish I could give you a hug!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,047
Sorry to hear that honeypie, I'm not sure what advice to give you. I know when I made my 1000 mile move it was planned about 6-7 months in advanced. Maybe you can keep your current job till everything is set and then move? I hope work is going to relocate you and it's not on your own expense. If you see a great future for yourself with this company, it might be really worth it and plus you'll have warmer weather.
I got called today about an interview next Friday, so I hope all goes well with it.
I got called today about an interview next Friday, so I hope all goes well with it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Honeypie, I would like to add not to compare yourself with others. I did the same thing and became depressed. You are incredibly strong for posting in spite of all of the stress you are under. Incredibly honest to admit you had a lapse. Incredibly tenacious to still read and have faith. I will say a prayer for you and your son.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: KY
Posts: 11
Hello October!! Day 28 for me. Sleeping very well now and my cravings are getting better. Think my wife has noticed something different as well. I'm confident with you guys by my side, I can get through the holiday season. Congratulations to everyone.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,047
@tanja - You're in trouble with me!
Do you know how much I absolutely LOVE egg nog? I never in my life mixed it with alcohol so the egg nog with alcohol combination has never crossed my mind - I've always drinked it plain. That quote by the way is from page 2, had to reread the whole thread because I missed out on a lot of posts.
@nvrbeentospain - Day 50 is amazing! You should see how much money you've saved.
@Skeeterskat - Great job on day 28! We're very happy to have you in this group
Have on my ear phones and blasting some EITS (Explosions In The Sky) - The same song I posted on my profile actually. Instrumental music relaxes me so much and depending on the song you can form really strong meanings of the feelings.
Time to get out my calculator: 32 days sober x $7 a day (average I spent on alc) = I have saved $224 so far.
.
I actually thought about a glass of egg nog at x-mas??????????????????????? I hate egg nog!
@nvrbeentospain - Day 50 is amazing! You should see how much money you've saved.
@Skeeterskat - Great job on day 28! We're very happy to have you in this group
Have on my ear phones and blasting some EITS (Explosions In The Sky) - The same song I posted on my profile actually. Instrumental music relaxes me so much and depending on the song you can form really strong meanings of the feelings.
Time to get out my calculator: 32 days sober x $7 a day (average I spent on alc) = I have saved $224 so far.
.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Twin Cities MN
Posts: 83
Honeypie 
Having some cravings tonight myself. I honestly think it's the boredom of being alone on a cold wintery night. Instead of drinking though, I'm going to spend time on here, then around 7-8 make some nice chai tea, put some music on, and read. Then, take my evening meds, make something small to eat (heck, might even dip into the ice cream again).
Also gonna get some drawing in.
Keep yourself busy Sober-tobers! Avoid euphoric recall at all costs; drinking isn't worth it - even though some of those memories are fond.... instead, create new sober fond memories
TTYL!
Having some cravings tonight myself. I honestly think it's the boredom of being alone on a cold wintery night. Instead of drinking though, I'm going to spend time on here, then around 7-8 make some nice chai tea, put some music on, and read. Then, take my evening meds, make something small to eat (heck, might even dip into the ice cream again).
Also gonna get some drawing in.
Keep yourself busy Sober-tobers! Avoid euphoric recall at all costs; drinking isn't worth it - even though some of those memories are fond.... instead, create new sober fond memories
TTYL!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 182
I got through today sober. I would like to do it again tomorrow. Thank you, Tanja and everyone for your support. It means the world to me. Thank you Dee, you're right of course. I ate a nice dinner tonight, tried to detach from my son's sarcasm and bad mood, and am cuddling with my dog. Things are better. I even made a fire and a tea. :-)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 429
Iwantmeback, I'm so glad you came back and posted. I hope you're feeling better.
Honeypie, your evening sounds so cozy. I'm sorry that you've got so much going on now. We're all here to root for you. I'm sending good thoughts your way. You're so strong and I know you can get through this. With a clear mind now, you'll be able to make good decisions and stand behind them.
Skeeterskat, welcome to the group!
Gerbosko, I love bands like EITS, Mogwai, Caspian, etc. That instrumental music is weird, isn't it? If I listen to it while I'm in a good mood, it elevates the good mood, relaxes me, and makes me see beauty in just about everything. If I listen to it while I'm in a bad mood, though, it can sound totally depressing and make me cry because it's so emotional (at least to me).
As for me, my day went from good to crap. The dog meeting went horribly. The adoptable bit my dog, so we had to say no. I'm really, really bummed that it didn't work out. (We are going to a shelter tomorrow to check out other dogs, though.) I think the cold is coming back and I'm stuffy and headachy. To top it off, I thought staying home would be good because my husband wouldn't be drinking, but I didn't realize that he already had beer in the fridge. So we watched a Christmas movie to cheer me up, but he drank beer while I had tea. At this point, I think I'd better just take cold medicine and call it an early night. Ugh, I sound so whiny. I know that none of these are major problems, but I still feel like pulling a blanket over my head and hiding from the world for a little while. I guess that's sort of what I used to do with alcohol, drinking until I got outside of myself. At least tomorrow will be a new day and I won't have a hangover.
Have a good night, everyone.
Honeypie, your evening sounds so cozy. I'm sorry that you've got so much going on now. We're all here to root for you. I'm sending good thoughts your way. You're so strong and I know you can get through this. With a clear mind now, you'll be able to make good decisions and stand behind them.
Skeeterskat, welcome to the group!
Gerbosko, I love bands like EITS, Mogwai, Caspian, etc. That instrumental music is weird, isn't it? If I listen to it while I'm in a good mood, it elevates the good mood, relaxes me, and makes me see beauty in just about everything. If I listen to it while I'm in a bad mood, though, it can sound totally depressing and make me cry because it's so emotional (at least to me).
As for me, my day went from good to crap. The dog meeting went horribly. The adoptable bit my dog, so we had to say no. I'm really, really bummed that it didn't work out. (We are going to a shelter tomorrow to check out other dogs, though.) I think the cold is coming back and I'm stuffy and headachy. To top it off, I thought staying home would be good because my husband wouldn't be drinking, but I didn't realize that he already had beer in the fridge. So we watched a Christmas movie to cheer me up, but he drank beer while I had tea. At this point, I think I'd better just take cold medicine and call it an early night. Ugh, I sound so whiny. I know that none of these are major problems, but I still feel like pulling a blanket over my head and hiding from the world for a little while. I guess that's sort of what I used to do with alcohol, drinking until I got outside of myself. At least tomorrow will be a new day and I won't have a hangover.
Have a good night, everyone.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,047
@LittleSparrow - Hopefully the next new dog will work out
I saw ETIS back in September of this year and they put on a mind-blowing show, the show was completely sold out. I've listened to only a few select songs by Mogwai - I'm pretty "clingy" with music, If I find an artist and a few songs by them I love, I'll listen to them an insane amount of times.
I saw ETIS back in September of this year and they put on a mind-blowing show, the show was completely sold out. I've listened to only a few select songs by Mogwai - I'm pretty "clingy" with music, If I find an artist and a few songs by them I love, I'll listen to them an insane amount of times.
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