ProfessorFudger

cheers, that would be m lovely supportive wife of years, of whom i owe everything too, and the reason for my change.

ProfessorFudger

i also never for a minute thought id manage a week, never mind 6 months, and in 6 months ive almost cleared all debts, saved tons for a holiday in 2013, improved at work, and just yeserday took the first stepping stone in bridge building by speaking to my dad after a 10 year silence/argument. when he called i was overjoyed, and he kept his word by contacting me if i survived 6 months without beer.

Dee74

There's a server problem (outside of SR's control) - the server clock is about 12 minutes out...but not for everyone?

Not sure why that happened or why it keeps happening but they're working on it LOl

D

Dee74

D

PeanutButterCup

Mirage, I am certain that you can quit smoking. You quit drinking, which is UBER-HARD, so you can accomplish GREAT things. Yes, I'm sure it will be hard. But you can do hard things ... you've proven that already.

Lofty, your words are balm to my soul. What is this "serene sobriety" thing? I don't even know what my goal is, to be honest. I just don't want to be how I used to be, which was out-of-control-drunk every night. I don't want to die of liver failure. I don't want to be useless to my family, and even more so I don't want to be a burdon on them. I don't want to NOT remember how each night ends. Beyond that, I'm not sure.

Dee, your comment about "Dr. Showbiz" could be taken so many ways this week ... can you clarify? I am hoping for an amazing day tomorrow with my groups! As for Friday's tv spot, I really should go over those talking points ... And figure out what I'm going to wear.

Frances, your question about what you could do really touched me. What a powerful way to express your willingness to help! I wish I had a great answer for you ... but I don't. Keep being you seems to make the most sense. You are a source of strength to me, a rock to cling to.

How about this: for a new question of the day: Why be sober? Why NOT just drink in moderation?

Dee74

I didn't mean anything bad PBC - just that the adrenaline of performing usually irons out a lot of the wrinkles...at least in my experience

D

lookinforward

How about this: for a new question of the day: Why be sober? Why NOT just drink in moderation?

Because the moderation only lasts about 1 drink for me. Just sayin.
I tried that routine for the last 10 years of my drinking career. I could make it a day or two ....then I was right back where I had started when I said that I needed to moderate. Oh how I wish I could but the reality is I can not.
I have quit some bad habits. I have lost a lot of weight. I have will power and control, but the drink owned me. That would be why I can not moderate.

Thank God I gave up on that dream
Dave

Dee-- How did you get that web cam pic of me today?

Dee74

I'm everywhere Dave LOL.

D

LoftyIdeals

PBC...yours is not the question of the day, it's the question of a lifetime. For me, its the question of 28 yrs. I just got back from an AA meeting tonight where the discussion question was "what is sobriety?" The answers were both varied and similar, all at once. The one statement that hit me was that if quitting drinking was all there was to sobriety, AA would be a one step program, not a 12 step. How true. In 52 days of not drinking, my life is still as unmanageable as it was 52 days ago. I gain improvements in my thinking, memory, remorse, realizations each day, but I am still a long way from sober. But, I can feel it coming, and I embrace it. I don't kid myself that it will magically be here at 90 days or a year, or anything else. But, I do know that it will come, in God's timing, not mine. I also feel blessed to have a program that has workable steps that I believe will bring me closer to healing, to my family and to God.

Why not drink in moderation? 28 yrs of experience has taught me that I can't regularly do that, and I can't predict when I can vs. when I can't. And it's a whole lot better for me to just say goodbye to it all.

Great question! Thanks for asking!

Dee74

I take my hat off to anyone who can but I can't do it.

What's more, I'm actually glad I can't.
I've grown so much since I decided to kick alcohol and drugs to the kerb.
There's so much more to me and my life now.

I'm happy - even when life is hard...and I'm at peace.

Thats unprecedented for me as an adult - and all I needed to do to start the process was not drink.

The thought I could have made other choices and still be that very unhappy mixed up guy makes me sad, because I know other people make that choice.

If you're like me, it's not a loss to stop drinking - it's like finding a key to a locked door.

D

frances2011

Morning Marchers! WooT! I missed a fun timewarp yesterday.

First up, me. I had a full day yesterday where I felt alive and active and motivated....the whole day. No dumps, no downs. You know how it feels when you are on an airplane and the engines rev up but you haven't started moving yet? THAT's how it felt. I think I'm coming out of depression and it's a darned good thing.

I went to an amazing networking meeting last night and have a ton of follow-ups this morning. PLUS I won the door prize of a free massage. That's the Universe telling me to keep on taking care of myself. I will receive what I need.

It's my 9th wedding anniversary! Woot! My husband is a wonderful man.

frances2011

LOFTY---So inspired to hear about your follow-up meeting. I am sending my full confidence that this deal will follow through to full completion. Please keep sharing your AA insights....it's really helpful for me to learn more about it and witness you committing to diving into your transformation. YEAH YOU.

MIRAGE--Feeling better? I totally support you in kicking smoking and I know it is a very very hard thing to do. But you CAN do it. What is your plan? What's working for you? What are your rewards that can reinforce your positive choice?

PROFESSOR--You are a lucky man and your wife is a lucky woman. Keep on LIVING. Where's your 2013 holiday?

DEE--You rock. Thank you!

PBC--You are a beautiful bright light. Isn't it awesome how we all help each other? The candles we hold for each other are really little mirrors to remind us that we all are actually reflecting God's light. God loves us just as we are today, wholly, utterly, completely. And, I believe, he wants us to be better so we can shine more brightly.

DAVE--You were very posty yesterday. lol. I approve of this. When are you going back to the Gulf again?

frances2011

QOTD: Why not drink in moderation?

For me, I can't because I was drinking every afternoon to quell my anxiety. And waking up every day with a hurting head and shame. If I didn't drink, I was consumed by thoughts about my next drink.

For me, because I don't want to end up like my mom, passed out on the couch every day by 4PM, then slumped at the table and slurring my way through dinner. I remember finding her bottle hidden in the closet and pouring out her bottles under the sink and filling them with water. My mom died at 49 of lung cancer.

I don't want to hide bottles from my husband and sneak around pretending my vodka was seltzer.

For me, because I want to have a Romantic long active happy life with my husband.

For me, because I want to feel proud of myself and my accomplishments, not shameful of my secrets.

For me, because if I'm only going to have 1 or 2, and I'm not going to get buzzed, then those drinks are wasted calories.

For me, because drinking alcohol makes my run the next day a really unpleasant experience.

For me, because I want to be a real support for my younger sister and being sober means I can always answer the phone when she calls. Her STBXH is a raging active addict, so being sober gives me a sane place to offer support.

For me, since I can't drink in moderation, being sober means I get to create a life where I'm genuinely happy on the inside and outside I use my God-given talents to make the world a better place.

What a GOOD question, thank you PBC!

frances2011

Whoa. Who knows what's on the other side of this door for us?

P.S.--Professor, you reconnecting with your dad just awes me. So glad for you.

mirage

Yeah, I really don't have any interest in drinking moderately. I mean if we're defining "moderate" as 1-2 drinks per day..no, I never drank moderately. I have no interest in having 2 drinks. Having said that, I like to look at it as everyone's wired differently. I happen to be wired in a way that when I drink, I want to get drunk and on days I'm not drinking, I'm thinking of when a good day is to get drunk. The mental obsession part..the planning out what night, depending on what I had going on, etc..UGH. I am grateful....beyond freaking words...that I'm not thinking in those terms anymore. It's going to take more time to feel free of it totally, like to where the thought NEVER occurs to me..(actually I don't know, Dee..do you ever totally feel free of it? You must, I'd think.) So yeah..plenty of people moderate without even thinking about it..most of the human race, but I think it's harder when you're wired the way I am. But sure...I think about it sometimes, too.

mirage

That's awesome news about how you're feeling, frances. Whew! So glad it's working for you so far!! Happy Anniversary! Any plans? Thanks for the encouraging words. No real plan beyond these lozenges..which I don't like, but they do work. I'm still sick, but I know I'd feel worse if I'd been smokin the last 2 days.

PBC..thanks for your encouragement, too. I CAN do hard things! Ok, that particular phrase won't work for me, my mind is too dirty.

PF...happy for you speaking with your dad! That's great news..so much healing going on. Awesome.

Hope you all are having a great hump day!

frances2011

Hi Mirage--Keep on those lozenges! Sorry you are still sick but I hope you are all better soon. SO GLAD to hear that the mental obsession has left you, that's HUGE.

I think about it sometimes but not every day and not for very long. Somebody here on SR has a Robert Downey Jr quote in their sig: "Sometimes I think about having a drink, but then I remember I have plans for Christmas." LOL!

Tonight, DH & I are going out to dinner. We're low key celebrators, which is just how I like it. Suits me.

mirage

Lol..yes, I love that quote. Enjoy your meal tonight..don't forget to fill us in on what ya'll had. (Cuz we're nosey. Ok, I'M nosey.)

LoftyIdeals

Great discussion! Thanks again, PBC, for the question. It was thought provoking and affirming for me, and helped also to affirm that I am among the right group of like-minded friends. Drinking is not just another facet of our lives; it stands by waiting to take control of us if we let it; sometimes suddenly, sometimes insidiously. But like Dee said, hats off to those who can walk the line. Of course, we can romanticize the drink and believe we are among that population, but for me, I would quickly realize that it is just a fantasy to believe that.

Frances...fantastic and hopeful news about your lifting depression. You keep posting your progress, and I'll keep posting my AA endeavors. Happy 9th! Your husband is a very lucky man! Your response to Dee's key gave a new light to his post for me. All of a sudden, I pictured it as a closet door, stuffed with my anxieties and garbage. Actually, that is kind of how that concept is working for me right now, so I've got some closet cleaning to do! (Actually, I do...both literally and figuratively!)

Mirage...continued prayers for your improving health, and resolve to be smoke free. I found the cinammon gum from Walgreens to be very helpful. Now, I just chew cinammon Orbitz. Ok...your comment about being able to do hard things reminded me of Steve Carrell in "The Office", saying "that's what she said!"

Professor...what a monumental event in your life for your dad to keep his committment after ten years, and you to achieve your end of the bargain. I pray for your strength in that reunion, and beyond. You have a lot of great momentum in sobriety, and are an encouragement to me!

Aussie??? Would love to hear from ya!

TOI??

RA???

Dave...did you catch the clip of Kim Delaney so out of it at the podium of a presidential library (Reagan, I think) in honor of some military men that she had to be whisked from the stage? So sad to see for such a hot species of the female gender, huh? She was great in NYPD Blue, but I guess her career has "jumped the shark". Oh yeah, I actually was watching WSJ online news yesterday, and the reporter used "jumped the shark" on the air! And, I actually knew what it meant, thanks to Mirage. Is that the phrase of the week? Did any of the fish you caught this weekend jump the shark? :rotfxko

How was the grouper? It's one of my favorites...

Bye for now, folks. Back tonight!

frances2011

It won't be chicken. *snickers*

I have closets too that need to be emptied and cleaned. We will hold hands and do the hard stuff together.

Great day to all!