Class of June 2011 Part 5
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
jhay - the best advice I can give you is try not to own your roomies problems...if yo're anything like me you have enough of your own!
We can't do anything about what someone else does, but we can make sure we do right
If it was me tho, I'd be checking out the accommodations notices & thinking of moving...
D
We can't do anything about what someone else does, but we can make sure we do right
If it was me tho, I'd be checking out the accommodations notices & thinking of moving...
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 98
Helloooo!
I'm so sorry, everyone, for disappearing. I did NOT, first and foremost, go back out.
I had a bunch of chaos to deal with, including breaking up with my boyfriend and moving into a womens' Sober House (a 3/4th step-house), all in the past week.
I am now safe and staying sober, which is the main thing.
I haven't had a chance to read everything, but CherryD! My goodness, congratulations.
Pregnancy is a tumultuous time - all fear and joy and trepidation and change and wonder all rolled into one...
I am thinking of you.
I know i have a lot of catching up to do, and i promise i will.
I have a meeting soon but will be back late tonight - this place has a curfew - lol, i feel like a teenager again - only this time i'm sober.
Made a new friend, he's got a lot of sobriety and i am new; after getting somewhat close over the past 3 weeks, we had to acknowledge there is an attraction so we could avoid trouble. He's on the AA Board at a sober house and he's got a reputation as being very straight arrow, so right away he set up the boundaries... We have discussed things and decided that if, when i have a year or so, we are still interested in each other, we will date. But for now, we are having a great time getting to know each other in a platonic (if very charged) way.
Very weird - the timing is crazy - but he says, and i agree, that this is actually perfect because by then, we will know each other very well and i will be in a place to decide if i want to pursue a relationship, but he won't get in the way of my recovery, nor will i let him.
It's a good thing we both aren't fools, and that we both know my recovery comes first.
I respect him for getting things out in the open and drawing the line right up front. I FEEL respected because he won't try to 13 step me. He helped me move into the House, which means no male visitors and no overnights for me, which made us both take a sigh of relief for our own sakes, lol
Ok folks, must fly to eat, then a meeting.
Much love, and again, my apologies.
I'm so sorry, everyone, for disappearing. I did NOT, first and foremost, go back out.
I had a bunch of chaos to deal with, including breaking up with my boyfriend and moving into a womens' Sober House (a 3/4th step-house), all in the past week.
I am now safe and staying sober, which is the main thing.
I haven't had a chance to read everything, but CherryD! My goodness, congratulations.
Pregnancy is a tumultuous time - all fear and joy and trepidation and change and wonder all rolled into one...
I am thinking of you.
I know i have a lot of catching up to do, and i promise i will.
I have a meeting soon but will be back late tonight - this place has a curfew - lol, i feel like a teenager again - only this time i'm sober
.Made a new friend, he's got a lot of sobriety and i am new; after getting somewhat close over the past 3 weeks, we had to acknowledge there is an attraction so we could avoid trouble. He's on the AA Board at a sober house and he's got a reputation as being very straight arrow, so right away he set up the boundaries... We have discussed things and decided that if, when i have a year or so, we are still interested in each other, we will date. But for now, we are having a great time getting to know each other in a platonic (if very charged) way.
Very weird - the timing is crazy - but he says, and i agree, that this is actually perfect because by then, we will know each other very well and i will be in a place to decide if i want to pursue a relationship, but he won't get in the way of my recovery, nor will i let him.
It's a good thing we both aren't fools, and that we both know my recovery comes first.
I respect him for getting things out in the open and drawing the line right up front. I FEEL respected because he won't try to 13 step me. He helped me move into the House, which means no male visitors and no overnights for me, which made us both take a sigh of relief for our own sakes, lol
Ok folks, must fly to eat, then a meeting.
Much love, and again, my apologies.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Ugh. So, I drank last night. Found out Mr. a**hole cheated on me... again and I ran to my enemy to cope. Now I feel even worse than I did last night. My family is falling apart. This is going to be a mess.
Sorry all. I wanted to just go on and pretend like it never happened... never have to fess up to you. but it did. I will continue on. Hello again day 1. you suck.
cherry congrats. It will be beautiful, I promise!
Sorry all. I wanted to just go on and pretend like it never happened... never have to fess up to you. but it did. I will continue on. Hello again day 1. you suck.
cherry congrats. It will be beautiful, I promise!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
So sorry to hear this, Blackbird!! 
Can't imagine what you must be feeling right now. And it just shows your strength for being honest and posting about the drinking. I know you probably don't give a rip about being "strong" right now though.
Such great support here for you... hang in there!
Can't imagine what you must be feeling right now. And it just shows your strength for being honest and posting about the drinking. I know you probably don't give a rip about being "strong" right now though. Such great support here for you... hang in there!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Originally Posted by Vi0let
I had a bunch of chaos to deal with, including breaking up with my boyfriend and moving into a womens' Sober House (a 3/4th step-house), all in the past week.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Cherry D , congratulations !!!!! life it what happens !! our job is to make the best of it. I agree that no matter we do, we will never feel ready. We have to roll with it and make it up as we go. My eldest is 18, my youngest 15. we have had ups and downs. I am so grateful to have had the privilege of caring for them.
Papa Nico. I am so glad you are here. I know one of the biggest risks for me if I relapse is not coming back.This has been a pattern in my life of avoiding difficult emotions. I hope if I am ever in that situation I have the courage you have shown in your commitment to our little family.
It is 8am Sunday morning here. I am up and feel good. As it turns out it is day 70 for me if I complete it sober.
Steamwader- I think the missing the beer thing can be worked on. It has been different for me this time around. The romanticisation of alcohol that persisted in my previous attempts at getting sober is absent. I have thought a lot about the first three steps of AA. Basically the concepts and language were not comfortable for me. I have however worked myself to a state of "surrender". I have lost the desire to engage in the struggle with alcohol anymore. I have accepted the fact that I had no power over alcohol and that my life had become unmanageable. Step 2 I don't really understand but I have come to accept the reality that there is hope and a way forward........ but this is not possible / sustainable without the next step which I think of as 'surrender' or to phrase it another way 'a commitment to take what comes with a full engagement'. I have also found that a daily practice of gratitude has (bizarrely.....and to my disbelief) given me a real buzz, which more than compensates for the bliss and oblivion I used to seek in alcohol. As for the other steps I am still searching for my defects of character (LOL). I did read about surrender somewhere but the link that I had is not the right one.
Papa Nico. I am so glad you are here. I know one of the biggest risks for me if I relapse is not coming back.This has been a pattern in my life of avoiding difficult emotions. I hope if I am ever in that situation I have the courage you have shown in your commitment to our little family.
It is 8am Sunday morning here. I am up and feel good. As it turns out it is day 70 for me if I complete it sober.
Steamwader- I think the missing the beer thing can be worked on. It has been different for me this time around. The romanticisation of alcohol that persisted in my previous attempts at getting sober is absent. I have thought a lot about the first three steps of AA. Basically the concepts and language were not comfortable for me. I have however worked myself to a state of "surrender". I have lost the desire to engage in the struggle with alcohol anymore. I have accepted the fact that I had no power over alcohol and that my life had become unmanageable. Step 2 I don't really understand but I have come to accept the reality that there is hope and a way forward........ but this is not possible / sustainable without the next step which I think of as 'surrender' or to phrase it another way 'a commitment to take what comes with a full engagement'. I have also found that a daily practice of gratitude has (bizarrely.....and to my disbelief) given me a real buzz, which more than compensates for the bliss and oblivion I used to seek in alcohol. As for the other steps I am still searching for my defects of character (LOL). I did read about surrender somewhere but the link that I had is not the right one.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Violet - glad to see you back! Was worried you'd lost your way but such was not the case. Sounds like you've put yourself into a very good situation - all girl sober house - AA love interest - this stuff is just made for prime time!
Blackbird - it happens. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and let's give it another go, shall we? You can so do this!
Blackbird - it happens. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and let's give it another go, shall we? You can so do this!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: United states
Posts: 200
bblackbirdfly,
I'm so sorry you are hurting. Hugs to you! Just start over. I know it's an old coping method but the alcohol doesn't really make it better.
Do you have someone close to you for some real hugs? I will be here for you.
I'm so sorry you are hurting. Hugs to you! Just start over. I know it's an old coping method but the alcohol doesn't really make it better.
Do you have someone close to you for some real hugs? I will be here for you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: United states
Posts: 200
MissDucky,
I hope you are resting allot. You have to give yourself time to heal. You and Dylan watching movies together is perfect. Although, this has been a tough time for both of you he will remember all this time he is spending with Mom. Just take it easy.
I hope you are resting allot. You have to give yourself time to heal. You and Dylan watching movies together is perfect. Although, this has been a tough time for both of you he will remember all this time he is spending with Mom. Just take it easy.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: United states
Posts: 200
Tonight I went out to dinner with my family and a woman at the next table ordered a gin and tonic. It looked really good. I tried to distract myself but I kept looking over and you know what amazed me was she sipped it for over an hour and I was thinking damn I would have had at least two if not three. Again, another example to me that I am not a normal drinker. Best to stay my current path.
I was going to give that drink the finger but you know that may have seemed inappropriate....lol!
I was going to give that drink the finger but you know that may have seemed inappropriate....lol!
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
I start with my heart and prayers go out to you blackbird, i glad you came right back and start it again, we are all here 
So just stopped by to say hi, had a beautfiul day yesterday i was volunteering at a rehab center just trying to get a new AA meeting of the ground. Only had one person come but it was awfully cool to have one so maybe two next week.
Afterward my friend that I had called just a couple days after getting out of the hospital from detoxing, he was the one to take me to my first AA meeting.
He gave me his brass 1 month coin , cool feeling , also that night at my regular meeting my sponsor sat down and we discussed moving on to step 2. So thats where i am at 34 days, I would of never thought it
So went to my regular meeting tonight, and someone I know from other meetings said they were giving a lead at midnight. Well I said good luck and came home to just relax, well someone called and asked me to take them to a meeting. So I guess I am going at midnight after all , awesome i can bring some in already.
Thoughts and prayers to all , Easy does it
So just stopped by to say hi, had a beautfiul day yesterday i was volunteering at a rehab center just trying to get a new AA meeting of the ground. Only had one person come but it was awfully cool to have one so maybe two next week.
Afterward my friend that I had called just a couple days after getting out of the hospital from detoxing, he was the one to take me to my first AA meeting.
He gave me his brass 1 month coin
, cool feeling , also that night at my regular meeting my sponsor sat down and we discussed moving on to step 2. So thats where i am at 34 days, I would of never thought it So went to my regular meeting tonight, and someone I know from other meetings said they were giving a lead at midnight. Well I said good luck and came home to just relax, well someone called and asked me to take them to a meeting. So I guess I am going at midnight after all , awesome i can bring some in already.
Thoughts and prayers to all , Easy does it
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: BoulderCo
Posts: 111
Ok time for replies
Papa - I'm glad you're back and that you've decided to keep going. You're a really strong guy and it's admirable that you're willing to admit where you've gone wrong and are dong what you need to, in order to get back in this. I hope the games were fun today and that you were able to get some sleep last night.
Classical - I hope you have a great time on your trip!
StreamWader - It is hard to miss out on the things you love for whatever reason. Don't compare what you're going through to anyone else. You have the right to feel what you are. Even if you're feeling bad about dropping your food on the ground. They're still your feelings.
jhay - Ugh roommate problems. They're a nightmare even when you're not trying to be sober. I would feel just as annoyed about your roommate if I were you.
vi0let - It sounds like you've made the right choice. It might take some getting used to, with the curfew and everything. But the structure will be good and this guys sounds amazing and like he's just what you need right now.
bblackbird - I'm so sorry you're having to go through this with Mr *******. That is a devastating situation and I can understand why you caved. I'm so proud of you for coming back today though. Don't let last night ruin everything you've already achieved. Because you're doing great, you still have all those weeks built up. Keep going, you can do this
Papa - I'm glad you're back and that you've decided to keep going. You're a really strong guy and it's admirable that you're willing to admit where you've gone wrong and are dong what you need to, in order to get back in this. I hope the games were fun today and that you were able to get some sleep last night.
Classical - I hope you have a great time on your trip!
StreamWader - It is hard to miss out on the things you love for whatever reason. Don't compare what you're going through to anyone else. You have the right to feel what you are. Even if you're feeling bad about dropping your food on the ground. They're still your feelings.
jhay - Ugh roommate problems. They're a nightmare even when you're not trying to be sober. I would feel just as annoyed about your roommate if I were you.
vi0let - It sounds like you've made the right choice. It might take some getting used to, with the curfew and everything. But the structure will be good and this guys sounds amazing and like he's just what you need right now.
bblackbird - I'm so sorry you're having to go through this with Mr *******. That is a devastating situation and I can understand why you caved. I'm so proud of you for coming back today though. Don't let last night ruin everything you've already achieved. Because you're doing great, you still have all those weeks built up. Keep going, you can do this
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 98
Ugh,i feel i'll never catch up with what i've missed! And i've missed you all; i kept trying to get to the computer but then i'd have to think about what to say to Chewie, go to a meeting, pack, go to work, go to a meeting...and then i've been spending a lot of time with Kind of New Guy (i'll have to change that moniker, that's lame).
MissDucky!!!! *picks you up, spins you around*
So glad you are back and safe and doing well. I missed you.
Squishy, looks like we both got back around the same time - good to see you, too.
I had all kinds of things to say, but i am so tired.
I hate seeing you guys - Jhay, Streamwader and Blackbird - having such a f**ed up time right now.
Blackbird, just get back in here and get back on the AA bus. I know a LOT of people who have gone back out and are now years sober. I'll say it too - IT HAPPENS.
I'd like to smack Mr. A**clown across the face with one of those big police-flashlights for you. He doesn't deserve you.
Stream - i get the mourning of not being able to do the things you used to do; i have mourned my favourite pub, the friends i had there, hanging out with old friends who have big BBQs every friday that i can't go to because of the gallons of booze being consumed...i miss my relationship with Chewie, which i had to let go.
But there are so many good, solid, new things that are coming into my life now, too - and i think that is what happens to everyone eventually. We mourn the loss of our old lives, but there is a lot of joy to be found in the new one.
The woman who i have settled on to be my sponsor told a great story of how she used to picture herself sitting in a chair all alone in a bare room with no people, "because now that i wasn't drinking, life was OVER! No more fun, no more parties, no more joy...nothing!" She is a calm, happy, fun person - we're going to go see some live music soon. I've had more fun with her, SONG (Sort Of New Guy) and a handful of other people SOBER than i have had drinking for at least a year. It just stopped being fun - all the fun was a distant memory that i was hanging onto. It was fun, at one point - but the fun just went out of it by the time i stopped. The pain and damage far outweighed the good times.
Jhay - i had to move because of a similar situation, in fact just today was moving day. I found it impossible, ultimately. That sort of environment is damaging and stressful and just not good for your sobriety and i'm very sorry you have to deal with it.
I really hope your situation can be changed soon! You are in my thoughts.
Ok, i'm all typed out. I'll let y'all know how the House is, and keep you posted on all the new developments that come with it. I'm still scared, so many new things are happening...but they really seem to be good, positive things. Things i've wanted but never thought i could get. I am scared of losing them - the thought of going back out there terrifies me because now, i have things to lose.
It's been a long time since i've had something to lose.
Love to everyone, and hello to the new names i see here which i can't remember and am too tired to go back and look for
Ta ra!
MissDucky!!!! *picks you up, spins you around*
So glad you are back and safe and doing well. I missed you.
Squishy, looks like we both got back around the same time - good to see you, too.
I had all kinds of things to say, but i am so tired.
I hate seeing you guys - Jhay, Streamwader and Blackbird - having such a f**ed up time right now.
Blackbird, just get back in here and get back on the AA bus. I know a LOT of people who have gone back out and are now years sober. I'll say it too - IT HAPPENS.
I'd like to smack Mr. A**clown across the face with one of those big police-flashlights for you. He doesn't deserve you.
Stream - i get the mourning of not being able to do the things you used to do; i have mourned my favourite pub, the friends i had there, hanging out with old friends who have big BBQs every friday that i can't go to because of the gallons of booze being consumed...i miss my relationship with Chewie, which i had to let go.
But there are so many good, solid, new things that are coming into my life now, too - and i think that is what happens to everyone eventually. We mourn the loss of our old lives, but there is a lot of joy to be found in the new one.
The woman who i have settled on to be my sponsor told a great story of how she used to picture herself sitting in a chair all alone in a bare room with no people, "because now that i wasn't drinking, life was OVER! No more fun, no more parties, no more joy...nothing!" She is a calm, happy, fun person - we're going to go see some live music soon. I've had more fun with her, SONG (Sort Of New Guy) and a handful of other people SOBER than i have had drinking for at least a year. It just stopped being fun - all the fun was a distant memory that i was hanging onto. It was fun, at one point - but the fun just went out of it by the time i stopped. The pain and damage far outweighed the good times.
Jhay - i had to move because of a similar situation, in fact just today was moving day. I found it impossible, ultimately. That sort of environment is damaging and stressful and just not good for your sobriety and i'm very sorry you have to deal with it.
I really hope your situation can be changed soon! You are in my thoughts.
Ok, i'm all typed out. I'll let y'all know how the House is, and keep you posted on all the new developments that come with it. I'm still scared, so many new things are happening...but they really seem to be good, positive things. Things i've wanted but never thought i could get. I am scared of losing them - the thought of going back out there terrifies me because now, i have things to lose.
It's been a long time since i've had something to lose.
Love to everyone, and hello to the new names i see here which i can't remember and am too tired to go back and look for
Ta ra!
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